Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
VIKING
My words don’t mean shit to her. At least that’s what I decide as I stare at the ceiling. I’m tired, but I’m not sleeping. My brain is working about a million miles a minute, in complete overtime.
Sleep isn’t going to come easily, if at all.
I hear a noise coming from her bedroom and turn my head, staring toward the mouth of the hallway. It’s her rolling over in her bed. I can hear her sheets rustling, and I wish I were tangled in them with her.
But I’m not, and I shouldn’t ever think about it, because it’s not going to happen.
Pinching my eyes closed, I inhale through my nose, hold my breath, then exhale out of my mouth.
Cleansing, calming breaths. That’s what I attempt.
I’m not sure if it works or not, because my cock still aches to have her… to be inside her.
I’ve never once yearned for something I’ve never had as much as I do for her. Lainey is the one who never was, and I want her. I want to know her, every inch of her, but I never will. The fucker of it all is that I know she wants me, too.
I hear her door open, then close, and I crack one eye open, then the other, watching her as she moves through the hallway entrance and into the living room. She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move. She stands in front of me for a moment in silence before she clears her throat and walks into the kitchen.
As she moves around, I wonder if she’s actually awake or if she’s sleepwalking. The refrigerator opens and closes, then she makes her way back to the hallway, but before she vanishes back to her room, I call out her name once.
She doesn’t seem to hear me, doesn’t even twitch at the sound of my voice, and that’s when I know she’s sleepwalking. Which would be cute as fuck if it weren’t concerning, especially with everything going on.
I’m going to need to stay on top of my game with her.
After I hear her go back to bed, I lie on the couch, not even trying to sleep.
I don’t. In fact, I just stare at the ceiling and wonder what the fuck is going to happen next.
I’m under no illusion that Lainey is done with whatever plan she’s got hatching.
If she gives herself to Paul and the Front Mob Family, it will be a stupid fucking move. She will never be able to seek protection from anyone at the club again. That family will be her family. There will be no coming back. There will only be one way out, and it will be through death.
They’ll never let her go, and they will, without a doubt, remind us of that when they want something out of the club. Sure, right now, we’re friendly and working with them. We’re doing shit that we said we wanted to get out of, but times are hard, and we need money.
We have mouths to feed, or at least most of the others do. I only have to feed my own mouth, and I aim to keep it that way. It makes things easier when I only have to worry about my own neck.
As the sun begins to rise, I can’t help but wonder what it might be like if I did have someone else to worry about. Being in this house with Lainey is probably the closest I’ll ever get to an answer.
As of right now, I find it… sweet.
But I’m not a fucking idiot. I know that if it were real-life, day-to-day shit, I would see it a different way.
As much as I want to be the one for Lainey, I’m afraid that I’m not.
Just because we want to fuck one another doesn’t mean we would be good together, and I’m not going to ruin my relationship with Piggy.
But more importantly, I’m not going to ruin Lainey.
Sitting up on the couch, I scrub my palm down my face, then slide my hand over my head.
I’m still not sure how I feel about my hair.
I’ve always had long hair, but I wanted a change.
And now, if I want it back, I’m going to have to wait for a few months.
Which means I gotta deal with no fucking hair for months.
“You’re awake,” Lainey’s voice calls out.
Lifting my gaze, my eyes find hers, and I smirk. “Something like that. You want me to make some coffee?”
“That would be great,” she murmurs. “Do you need to use the shower?”
“Go ahead and shower first. I’ll make your coffee.”
Our gazes stay connected for a few more moments, then she shakes her head a couple of times and takes a step backward before she moves toward her bathroom. I watch her, unsure of what the future holds, but I can’t deny that in the present, I want to be in that shower with her.
I want to watch the water gently caress her skin. I want to watch the soap glide down every inch of her. I want to touch her wet body, then I want to lick the water off her clean skin. I want a hell of a lot for a man who said he didn’t want anything to do with her.
I’m lying not only to myself, but to her, too. And as the minutes tick by, as the sound of the water in the bathroom reminds me of the fact that she’s indeed naked and wet right now, I wonder how much longer I can keep up the lie.
My guess is I have about twenty-four hours left before my control doesn’t just snap… it fucking shatters.
LAINEY
Once I’m dressed and my bed is made, because I find it essential to make my bed every day, I head out to the living room.
Basically, I’ve dillydallied long enough, and it’s time to face the day.
Not only is it time to face the man in my living room, but it’s also time to get to the bakery.
I have a full day of pastries to get working on before the shop even opens.
But the moment I step into the living room, I see him in the kitchen, leaning a hip against the counter, a mug in his hand, shirtless.
Shirt. Less.
He’s beautiful. Covered in tattoos and muscles.
Hair or no hair, it doesn’t matter, because nothing could detract from the absolute gorgeousness of Viking.
And at the sight of him, after the tingly belly swoop of desire slides through me, I’m filled with a rush of sadness that consumes every part of my being.
Sad for myself. Sad for him. Sad for what could have been and what will never be.
Sad because I’m pretty sure my mind is made up, and even if it means my brother is angry, even if it means I lose the safety I’ve always felt with the Vicious Reapers, I know that in the end, it will be me protecting the ones I love.
“You good?” Viking asks.
The sound of his voice when I’m deep in thought causes my spine to straighten. My eyes lift to meet his, and I force a smile to curve up on my lips. “I’m good,” I lie. “But I need to leave in about twenty minutes, so if you want a shower, now is a good time.”
He watches me for a long moment in silence, his gaze searching mine the way it always does. And then, as if he sees whatever he needs to see, he pushes off the counter, sets his mug down, and jerks his chin toward me.
“Don’t go anywhere, don’t open the door, don’t even fucking breathe until I’m out of the shower.”
What I want to do is roll my eyes to the ceiling, because he acts like I’m going to open the door the second he walks away and invite a kidnapper inside.
Which, at this point, with the way I’m leaning, I don’t think I would turn down the situation if it arose.
But I’ll wait until I talk to the girls and get their opinions on it tonight.
Not surprisingly, it doesn’t take Viking more than ten minutes to shower and dress. He jerks his chin in my direction, then grins. “Ready?” he asks.
It’s almost four in the morning. We open at seven. I’ve been ready. “I still can’t believe you get up this early every single day,” he mutters.
“It’s all part of the job,” I state. “I don’t love the early mornings, but I love every other part of it, so it’s worth it in the end.”
He presses his lips together, then releases them, and I can tell he’s got something on his mind he wants to say to me. Something that is going to impact me, or at least he thinks it is. So he clears his throat before he speaks.
“You know, if you make a deal with them, this goes away,” he says as he lifts his hand, extending his index finger and swirling it around my living room.
“My living room?” I ask.
His lips twitch into a smirk, and he shakes his head once before his expression turns serious. So dead serious that I know he’s ready to lay some heavy shit on me. I should probably be concerned, but I’m not. I’m sure whatever it is he’s going to say, I’ve already figured it out.
“Your life here is over. No family, no friends, and sure as shit no bakery.”
I’m not shocked by his words, although he’s trying to scare me; I know he is. Tilting my head to the side, I watch him for a moment without saying anything. I don’t know what he thinks I’m going to say or do.
Maybe he thinks I’m weak. And he’s probably right. To a degree, I am just that—weak. But I’m also not. My brother has always had my back. He’s always protected me, but maybe it’s time I show him and everyone else that I can protect myself.
“I kind of figured that was the deal,” I state before I reach into my purse and toss him the keys.
Walking past him, I reach for the door handle when Viking calls out my name. As much as I want to just open the door and walk out, I decide to look back over my shoulder at him.
My gaze lifts to meet his, and I give him a small smile. “My life isn’t much to write home about anyway, Viking. If this would help my brother and my family, then I’ll do whatever needs to be done. Nobody needs to get hurt. Nobody needs to suffer.”
“You’re willing to throw your life away—your relationship with your family—when we can protect you, and it wouldn’t ever have to be a thing?”
“Can you, though? When do they stop?”
He snorts and moves toward me, then past me. I follow him, wondering what else he’s going to say. He doesn’t say anything as I close my door. He reaches past me, his scent hitting my nose—sandalwood and bourbon.
God.
That’s sexy as hell.
He’s sexy as hell.
Stupidly, I close my eyes and inhale. I allow myself to have this moment, him being this close, him being so goddamn sexy. Because I don’t know if this will ever happen again. I’m going to soak it up and soak it in.
When his scent shifts past me, I open my eyes and turn to face him. He watches me for a moment, then smirks.
“They’re not going to stop, not unless they get a better deal. Trust Bullet to take care of the club, babe.”
I dip my chin in a single nod. That’s that, I guess, at least for now. And honestly, I’m tired of talking about it. I’m less of a chat girl and more of a do girl anyway.
Plus, there’s no way I’m going to just sit around and let people I love suffer in any way when there’s a chance I can stop it all. Then I’m the only one who possibly suffers… or maybe not. Maybe it’s a love match.
Who knows?