Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
LAINEY
Thankfully, I don’t run into my brother at the clubhouse while I do my walk of shame out to Gunnar’s bike, since I came here with the girls and my car is still at home.
The fact that I bought a wedding dress to marry one guy, then slept with a different guy almost immediately after, is probably something that a psychologist should be studying.
Pressing my cheek to Gunnar’s back, I close my eyes as the wind whips by my face as he rides. I know he’s taking me home, and it’s almost the end of our time together, but I’m choosing to savor this moment.
Right here, on the back of his bike, my arms wrapped around him and my pussy sore from him being inside me, it’s everything I ever dreamed about. This is my fairy tale come true, this moment.
I’m not sure if that’s pathetic or what, but I also don’t care.
I swore to myself years ago that I would never fall for a Vicious Reaper, and yet here I am, fallen flat on my face for this man.
Deeply and madly in love with him, even though he doesn’t feel the same, no matter what anyone else says about it.
And even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. I made a commitment, and I’m going to follow through with it, because the world doesn’t revolve around me. As much as I wish it did, it doesn’t.
My marrying Paul doesn’t only affect me; it also affects my brother, his family, and the club.
So that’s what I keep repeating to myself over and over, hoping that my feelings will get buried sooner rather than later and I can move forward.
That I won’t be mourning what I’ve wanted for years, that I won’t be thinking of this moment—being on the back of Gunnar’s bike, my arms wrapped around him, my body sore from being with him. My heart is full to bursting.
I hope I can forget all of this, that it will be nothing but a blip. A distant memory of what was. And what could never be. That’s a lot of hope I’ve got riding on it. But it’s all I can do, because if I don’t, I could ruin a lot of lives.
Something I would feel immense guilt about.
Something I refuse to feel guilty about because I’m not going to let it happen.
The ride back to my place is too short. I wish it were about an hour or five longer, but as the bike pulls up and the engine is turned off, I let out a heavy sigh. It’s back to reality. Back to my life and planning for my unknown future.
And that plan slaps me in the face the moment I see a pickup truck pull up. It’s my brother. Climbing off Gunnar’s bike, I frown at the sight of him at my place. Not that I’m upset to see him, but more confused.
When he opens the door and jumps out of the pickup, I watch him, waiting for him to make his way toward me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks around to the bed of the pickup, and that’s when I realize why he’s really here.
Boxes.
He takes out a stack of moving boxes.
Shit.
It’s really happening now. I’m slapped in the face. It slams into me. It’s over and done with. It’s all really, really happening, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Axton walks to my front door and places the boxes down, leaning them against the wall before he turns to face me.
“You just getting home?” he asks.
I open my mouth to answer him, then snap it closed because I’m not quite sure how to respond to that. Thankfully, it’s Gunnar who speaks instead of letting me open and close my mouth like a fish out of water.
“I got trashed last night at the clubhouse. Didn’t want to take Lainey home like that, didn’t want her here alone, so she stayed down there.”
My brother’s eyes widen, then narrow slightly, and I brace for the impact of his questions. No doubt he’s got them; I can see his brain working overtime. And not only as an older brother but also as a cop. Not much gets past him, generally speaking.
When he doesn’t say anything, I tilt my head to the side and watch him. He shrugs a shoulder, then walks back to his truck and grabs another handful of flat boxes. I watch him, wondering what the hell is going on, when he goes back again and comes back with a plastic shopping bag.
He thrusts the bag against my chest, and I wrap my fingers around it as he releases it so it doesn’t fall to the ground. He’s acting a little odd. I want to ask him why, but I’m honestly afraid of what the answer could be, so I don’t say anything.
“That’s tape and markers for the boxes. I can have the prospects move them to your new place when they’re finished… wherever that is.”
Sadness washes over me at the tone of his voice. I don’t like the sound of it. He seems defeated. Reaching out, I wrap my fingers around his wrist, squeezing slightly as my gaze searches his for a moment.
He doesn’t say anything.
Instead, his lips twitch into a smirk, the saddest smirk to ever have appeared on his face.
My brother has a great many emotions, and I’m pretty good at reading his expressions.
Anger and happiness come equally to him, but this is new.
This is one that isn’t seen too often. He doesn’t show it, but right now, he’s giving it to me, all of it, and it’s breaking my heart to see him wear it.
“Thanks,” I whisper.
He flicks his gaze to my hand on his wrist before he lifts his eyes back up to meet mine. Pressing my lips together, I try to think of what to say to make this situation better, but nothing comes to mind, probably because there’s nothing I can really say.
I can’t make any promises. I can’t apologize. I can’t do anything but stare at him and hope that he understands as much as he says he does. I’m not sure I would believe him anyway at this point, not with the way he’s looking at me.
“I’m not going to say shit else,” he grinds out. “I’ve said what I need to say. Except I’m going to leave you with this last thing, and then that’s that.”
“Yeah?” I ask, my voice coming out in a choked whisper.
“You ever need a fucking thing, I’m your brother,” he begins, then dips his chin so he’s a bit closer to me, and then he whispers, “I’m your brother, and I would fucking kill for you, Lainey. Don’t ever forget that. Family before anything… and I mean that. Anything.”
He takes a step backward, my hand falls from his wrist, and I watch as he jerks his chin toward Gunnar. They stare at one another for a while, or at least Axton stares over my head, and I assume it’s at Gunnar.
“See you later. You need me to come relieve you, let me know,” Axton states.
There is a moment of silence, then Gunnar speaks. “I won’t,” he states.
My brother’s lips twitch into a smirk. “Yeah, figured you’d say that.”
I’m glad he’s no longer looking sad, but when he shakes his head once, he lifts his hand in a wave and turns around, walking away from us and back to his truck. I watch as he climbs inside, starts the engine, and then he’s gone.
VIKING
The boxes in the corner of the living room make this shit too damn real. I frown at the sight. I can hear Lainey taking a shower in the distance, and I should be in there with her, fucking her, but I can’t take my eyes off the boxes.
She’s leaving.
I do not like the way this shit makes me feel.
I think about taking my phone out and calling Daisy, telling her to get ready for me, then running to her just to forget this shit, forget the way this makes me feel. But I don’t do that, because the last thing I ever want is to walk away from Lainey before I need to. Before I’m forced to.
Fuck.
I don’t want to walk away from her at all… ever. But it doesn’t matter what the fuck I want. The club is what’s important and what will always come first, even at the expense of our happiness.
The sound of the shower turning off causes my spine to straighten. I hear the door open, then close, and footsteps. Turning my head, I watch as she walks down the hallway in nothing but her towel wrapped around her, then she stops at the mouth of the hallway, her eyes finding mine.
“You okay?” she asks.
Fuck no, I’m not okay. I doubt I’ll ever be okay again. But I won’t ever admit that, not to her, not to anyone. She’s got a life to begin that she needs to come to peace with, and I do, too. No matter how fucking hard that’s going to be.
“Yeah,” I grunt.
My gaze swings away from her to the boxes again. If I look at her a minute longer, standing there in her towel, I’m going to want to fuck her against the wall in the hallway.
“Do you think I really need to pack anything?” she asks.
“Probably not,” I mutter.
Paul probably won’t let her keep any of it.
Clearing my throat, I turn my head to look at her.
She nods once, clearing her throat before she speaks.
I watch as she lifts her arms, crossing them just beneath her tits, holding her towel up even though I wish I could will that shit off with just a look.
“He dressed you up like a bad bitch, and he only had you with him for one night. Guessing that’ll be your new vibe. He’s not going to want you to bring much of our old life into the new one.”
She doesn’t say anything. I need to tear my gaze away from her, but I can’t. I’m lost in her eyes, and when her arms move, it doesn’t register what she’s doing until she’s standing naked in front of me.
She’s tugged her towel down, dropping it on the floor.
She takes one step over the towel, then continues to make her way toward me.
Fuck me. I need to walk away from her. This kind of obsession isn’t healthy for her.
Not for me either. You’d have to fucking kill me to get me to walk away from her right now.
“Let me have as much of my life as I can get, then, Gunnar, before it’s all taken away from me.”
Say fucking less. Reaching out for her waist, I grip her there before I pick her up slightly, just enough to carry her sexy, naked ass to the sofa.
Sinking down, I sit my ass on the couch, my hands sliding to her hips, gripping slightly before I release them and slide my fingers down the backs of her thighs.
Lainey spreads her legs, straddling my thighs instantly, and fuck me, but I want her again. Slipping my fingers between her thighs, I feel her soft cunt. It’s still damp from her shower. And soon, it’ll be damp because of me, too.