Chapter 49
KYLIE
God, I loved my family.
My dad had always been a solid presence in my life, but he’d always trusted me to handle myself. He remembered Luc from the wedding and was quick to say hello, but when he noticed my hand in Luc’s, his eyes widened, and he poked my mother.
“Huh, is there something you guys wanted to tell us?”
Luc looked at me, giving me the chance to answer.
“He’s the ‘Baby Daddy.’”
Luc choked, cringing, unsure of my parents’ reaction. My mother and father stared, schooling their faces to hide any reaction.
“I’m hoping to be a lot more than that.”
Oh fuck. My fucking heart. If it weren’t half broken already, it would be now. I ached for this man.
Dad said, “Well, hopefully, you didn’t do something stupid. Kylie isn’t known for her ability to forgive and forget, but it’s her best damn quality.”
“It is.” Luc agreed with my father, and that was the end of that torturous conversation. Dad never rubbed salt in a wound when he could sense someone was already down for the count.
“Good game, though I thought we were fucked in the second inning.”
Mom and I escaped into the kitchen to see if Kelsey needed help, but she shooed us away. She had hired a caterer, so there wasn’t much for us to do.
“Did you get a chance to talk to your sister?” Mom asked. I knew then that Kelsey had told her that she was also pregnant.
“Yes! I did. It will be great to do this with her.”
“Luc seems supportive and not at all what I expected when you first told us you were pregnant. Did I misunderstand?”
“No, but I did. We both made mistakes, but we are going to take things slow and figure out what’s best for us and the baby.”
“I know your dad and I always try to stay out of things, but I think you should see this.”
Mom scrolled through her phone and opened her photo application. On the surface, it looked like a photo of Sam and Crew, with Luc and me in the background. When she zoomed in, she’d accidentally captured Luc looking at me while I was talking to Kelsey.
Oh.
If there was ever an expression of love, it was captured in that photo.
“That man loves you, Kylie. I’ve seen that only a handful of times, photos of your father looking at me.
The way Sam lights up when Kelsey is anywhere close to him.
And here. This photo. Now I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but that’s not something you walk away from without a damn good reason. ”
As I stared at the photo, I took the liberty of sending it to myself.
“Did you get your ultrasound rescheduled?”
“I did. Thanks for making the call for me.” With her position at the maternity hospital, my mother had gotten me in contact with the person responsible for scheduling appointments, and they had pulled some strings.
“I wanted Luc to have the chance to be there. What are the odds we’ll be able to find out the sex? ”
“You will be eighteen weeks at that appointment, right?”
“Yes.”
“It should be easy to see by then. So you don’t want to be surprised?”
“No.”
The moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait until they were born to know the sex.
I wanted every bit of information about this baby that I could get.
If someone in the medical field could determine the information through a test, a screening, or by any means, I also wanted that access.
“That’s my girl. I knew you were more like me than you would admit.”
“You knew with all of us?”
She nodded. “But your father wanted a surprise. He loved announcing it to me right after I gave birth. So I knew, but agreed not to tell him. Having open access to ultrasound equipment and making friends with the techs helped.”
“I always wondered why you guys didn’t have more kids—”
If I could be half as good as either of my parents, I’d call it a success.
“Purely financial. If we had the means, there would have been half a dozen of you, at least. I think that’s why I love my job so much. I can be there for those moments when a new family begins or grows.”
I caught Luc’s gaze from across the room. My mom followed my eyes.
“Go to him, Kylie. I don’t know what happened between you, but if he’s willing to fix it, that’s half the battle.”
“But what if he hurts me, Mom?”
This was at the crux of my fear. If I jumped back into a relationship with Luc, I was opening myself up to being hurt again. Had I healed from the break-up? No. I suspected I never would, and having his child would make it nearly impossible.
“What if he doesn’t? What if twenty-seven years from now, you and Luc are surrounded by your family, and you’ve completely forgotten every single one of your reservations?”
“It sounds like you have some experience with this.”
My parents had always had a strong relationship, and I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen them fighting.
If they had fought in front of us, they always apologized to each other, so we knew things were okay.
Mom always said that fighting and arguing were normal, but hurting your loved ones and holding grudges were what led to relationship failures.
“Your father and I have always aimed to show you how much we loved each other. But it wasn’t a straight line getting there. And that’s not to say there haven’t been hiccups along the way.”
Luc caught me staring at him and gave me a tentative smile.
God, he was cautious around me. I gestured toward the stairway and excused myself.
Kelsey and Sam had opened their rooftop for guests, but even though it was spring, it was still chilly.
New England weather could be stubborn and unpredictable, especially at this time of year.
We were the only ones brave enough to go outside and had the roof to ourselves.
“Is everything okay?” Luc asked. Concern etched on his face.
I practically threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his shirt, inhaling his spicy scent. His arms automatically closed around me, and I felt his chin land on the top of my head.
“I needed this.” My voice shook, barely above a whisper.
“I needed this, too.” Emotion clogged Luc’s voice.
We stayed there for several breaths, after resisting him, I physically couldn’t let him go.
“My mother took a photo. I think you should see it.”
Pulling out my phone, I angled my body so he could see the photos while we still maintained contact. As he looked at the picture, I watched his face carefully.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
Even now, in this busy photograph, the only thing he saw was me. Everything else was background noise, but he found me in the crowd and focused on me.
“You know what I realized?” I turned his face towards mine, hand on his cheek. My thumb rubbed roughly against the day-old stubble on his cheek. His eyes were wide, soft, and kind. This was my Luc; he was mine, and I would be no one but his.
“What, baby?”
God, his voice wobbled. Was it with hope? Or was he afraid that I would hurt him? I felt it then, the desperation that had brought him to the decision to end things. It was born in his fears that he wasn’t enough for me.
“We won’t figure out how to trust each other, or how to be together—if we’re apart.”
His forehead dropped to mine, eyes squeezing shut.
“What exactly are you saying, Kylie? I need you to be clear, because my heart can’t fucking take it if I’m mistaken here. If I let myself hope, and if I’m wrong—”
As hard as the words were to form, I hated the fear emanating from Luc.
“I think we should be together. Before I saw this picture, I wondered if you loved me or were only here because of the baby. What I see here—it erased all doubt.”
His eyes searched mine, welling up with tears.
When I leaned up and brushed my lips on his, whatever bit of control he had snapped.
His mouth brutalized mine with a ferocity I hadn’t expected.
A sharp gasp escaped me, and he lifted me, my legs settling around his waist, and walked us to the patio couch.
The kiss, once fast and hard, turned soft as we re-familiarized ourselves with each other. When I ground against his erection, Luc groaned and pulled away.
“Not here, not now.”
As he put space between us, causing me to lean back while still straddling his lap, his eyes darted to the bump, and he took in the changes to my body.
“I still can’t believe this.”
“What? That something the size of a pear has forced me to walk around with my pants unzipped?”
I lifted my shirt so he could see the lengths I had taken to keep my pants up when I dressed this morning.
“Really? She’s the size of a pear?”
“She?” I asked.
“Oh, God, I hope it’s a girl.”
Other than deciding that I wanted to find out the baby’s sex, I hadn’t thought about it and had no preference. But now I wanted to give Luc a baby girl. God, I wanted to give this man everything he wanted.
“You’ve thought about that?”
He smiled and placed his hand on my belly. “I’ve done nothing but imagine several little girls with your red hair and eyes running around the house. I think I would be a good ‘girl-dad.’”
My father had been the best ‘girl-dad’ because he never once made us think we had to take a step back because we were girls. He taught us to check the oil, fight if necessary, and be aggressive on the field.
“How many little girls do you see in that image?”
“At least three or four. But that’s up to you. I feel selfish even asking.”
“That many little ones are going to be tough with your travel schedule. And I love my job—”
Luc was quiet for a bit and tucked a stray hair behind my ear as I leaned into his touch.
“It’s funny. I realized something recently. I don’t give a fuck about baseball. After this season, I can end my contract. If that means that I become a stay-at-home dad, I would be the luckiest man alive.”
Was Luc serious? Would he give up baseball and stay home so I could have my career?
But wasn’t this something he and Skylar had fought about?
I shook off the thoughts about Skylar; it wasn’t lost on me that even in her absence from his life; she had found a way to impact our relationship.
I didn’t want to give her any more power in my life.
“You know that I don’t make a ton of money? I mean, we would probably need to downsize our lifestyle.”
“We wouldn’t, Ky. I’ll have no problem showing you my entire financial portfolio, but your career is necessary only for the personal satisfaction it provides you. That’s what always bothered Sky. She couldn’t understand why I bothered with coaching, a career with a horrendous travel schedule.”
In the end, Sky tried to manipulate Luc into leaving his career, which is why I would do my damndest to ensure that he never made a move only to regret it later.
“What changed?”
He kissed me again, and I leaned in, attempting to deepen the kiss before pulling away. My body had missed his and wasn’t getting the memo that we had business to take care of before we played.
“Right after we broke up, I left town for Florida. My family—we have a house on the water in Destin. It’s where I go when I’m looking to heal and find peace.
When I got off the plane this time, I expected to find solace there.
It did nothing, Kylie. I tried every single one of my usual things to heal the hole inside me you had left.
When it didn’t work, I thought diving into the baseball season would be the answer.
It wasn’t either. I realized I could give up baseball, but I can’t give you up. ”
I let his words sink in.
“My biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant was that you would find out and decide you didn’t want the baby. So yes, I should have told you no matter what, but emotionally, it would have destroyed me if you refused to acknowledge our baby.”
“Are you going to marry me?”
I laughed and shook my head.
“No, that’s not a proposal. And we still have too much shit to figure out. Besides, you never wanted to get married again.”
He sighed.
“God, I said some stupid shit.”
“No, you were pretty straightforward about what you wouldn’t do.
I understand why you said you wouldn’t have kids, and I believe your decision was based on your expectation that it wasn’t possible.
And someone you trusted lied to you, which is the most despicable thing I’ve ever heard.
But I’m not going there until I’m satisfied with your reason for never getting married again. I don’t need marriage to be committed.”