Chapter Ten
Zane
Melina moved around the rink with ease and grace, right until the moment she smacked down hard on the ice.
Her poor, perfect ass was going to hurt like hell after a landing like that. Yet in the back of my dirty mind, all I could think was how much I’d like to kiss it better.
Tucking the inappropriately timed thought away, I raced to her from the other side of the rink. Before I could get there, the couple closest to her stopped. The woman bent down to offer a hand, and by the time I made it to her side, Melina was already back on her feet.
“Hey.” I reached for her arm, pulling her in for a hug and detaching her from the concerned woman. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, tears tracking down her cheeks, and something in me cracked. She was hurt, and no matter how I looked at it, I was at least partly to blame.
I knew I was pushing all her boundaries—fuck, some of my own too—and I should’ve backed the hell off. But the longer I was near her and the more she let her guard down, the more I wanted in. The more I needed in.
Still, I had no business putting my hands on her, singing love songs to her, or treating our one date like it was the start of something more. Especially since I couldn’t give her more.
No matter how much I might want to try.
I could never give her the kind of commitment she deserved.
Because what would that even look like? Inviting her into the Alexander family shit show?
Introducing her to my father—the man who ran a pharmaceutical empire with one hand and something dark and bloodstained with the other?
The man whose name alone could put a target on anyone close to him?
How could I ever explain that the trust fund sitting in my bank account was probably funded by things I couldn’t stomach thinking about?
She was out here fighting tooth and nail for a promotion, putting payments on credit cards, and I was sitting on more money than I could ever honestly earn or deserve. Too guilty to spend it, too cowardly to give it back.
And didn’t that just make me the biggest kind of asshole ever?
The sound of her cries muffled against my chest, and her body shook in my arms. I gave the couple a brisk nod as they skated off again, and I clutched Melina tighter.
“Please.” She struggled against me. “I need air.”
Reluctantly, I loosened my hold and peered down into her tearstained face, searching for the right thing to say.
But she wasn’t crying. She was laughing.
Hell, she was practically in hysterics.
“What the hell?” I laughed along with her.
“Was that epic or what?” Her voice was strained, but her smile didn’t fade.
Fuck, this woman was even stronger than I’d given her credit for.
“Epic? You call that epic?” I teased. “That tiny little fall was nothing. I split my head wide open on this ice once. Knocked myself unconscious. Still have the scar to prove it.” I brought her hand to the back of my head, guiding her fingers to the spot where the faint edge of a scar could still be felt.
Her laughter faded as she ran her hand through my hair, her fingers trailing over the line of the old wound, and I wanted to lean into her touch like a dog getting its ears scratched.
“I guess it shouldn’t surprise me.” She smirked, her cheeks rosy and tears beginning to dry. “Who were you trying to impress, and how drunk were you?”
“Well, I was only about six, so not too drunk I don’t think. Guess I’ve always been a bit of a show-off, though.”
“Six?” Her brow pinched with concern, and suddenly our intimate conversation felt like being under a magnifying glass. “How did it happen?”
“I don’t really remember.” The lie came out smoothly, but the memory didn’t stay buried as easily.
A frozen pond. No one watching. Uncle Glenn finding me facedown on the ice with blood pooling around my head.
Mom hadn’t been around that week. Or the week before.
And my father had never really been around at all.
I shoved it down and put my hand on her back, guiding her off the ice. “Come on, my gutsy little firecracker. I think this part of the tour is over.”
I helped her out of her skates, noticing her discomfort as she shifted on the bench, but her pain got lost in another fit of giggles when I teased her about her epic landing.
After drying her eyes, she followed me to the back of the skate shack and waited off to the side as I thanked Jasper for helping me out. He was a cool kid.
“I had a few more stops in mind for our tour,” I told her as we sauntered away from the rink, the cold seeping into me. “But now I’m wondering if it’s such a good idea. Maybe we should call it a night?”
She stopped, our linked hands pulling taut, and I turned to find her glaring at me. “What?”
“Are you bored with me already?” The fire I’d come to expect from her flared bright.
With my hand holding tightly to hers, I stepped into her space, not letting her pull back. Her jaw hardened, her lips formed a tight line, and her eyes held firm to mine. Deadly serious.
“I’m so fucking far from bored you don’t even know. I told you I want you, and I thought I was doing a decent job of showing you how much. But maybe you need more?” I cupped the side of her face, my fingers tracing over her silken skin.
Fuck, she was beautiful, even wounded and pissed off. Vulnerable, yet ruthless.
I couldn’t resist her. The space between us shrank to nothing. The heat chased away the chill of the night. My mouth dropped to within a breath of hers, and I ached to kiss her.
“Walking or riding?” I whispered.
Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and her body swayed into mine, making it near impossible to hold out.
“Melina.” Did I sound as wrecked as I felt? “Pick one.”
“Huh?” Her eyes dipped to my lips and back again.
“I didn’t want to torture your bruised behind, but if you’re still in this, then so am I. So, pick…walking or riding. Which will hurt less?”
“Well, unless you’re talking about a horse, I think I’d like to ride.”
Fuck, why did I use that word?
Her lips glistened in the moonlight, and the fire in her eyes still danced over me.
My hand traveled to her nape, my fingers digging into the thick fall of her hair, and my imagination wandered into dangerous territory.
My mind flooded with thoughts of her riding my cock.
What she’d look like. What she’d feel like.
What sounds she’d make. And just like that, I was hard.
All the women before her were just a faceless, nameless blur.
There was no comparison. I’d barely been to first base with Melina—hell, I wasn’t even sure if we were on the field together—but holding her hand, kissing her, and touching the curve of her cheek made me feel like I’d hit a home fucking run.
“Good choice,” I croaked and kissed the tip of her nose before pulling back. I couldn’t not kiss her, but anything more than a harmless peck and I’d be done for. “Come on.”
Heading back toward the hotel, she tried to drop my hand, but I refused to let her go. Fuck it. It was only hand-holding, not a wedding ring, and even though I didn’t fully understand it, I needed the connection.
Anything to take the edge off this unrelenting craving for her.
“Chapman,” I called to the driver of the horse-drawn carriage, who was relaxing in his seat outside of the hotel.
“Alexander! How goes it?”
“Good. I’m just helping my girl, Melina, unwind. She’s had a rough week at work and wanted some time to relax. You think you can help us out?”
His mouth quirked to the side as he assessed us, his eyes lingering on Melina longer than I liked, and for a moment I worried he might have a filthy comeback. Despite his East Coast roots, Chapman wasn’t known for his subtlety or his manners.
“Guess I can’t say no after you helped me out,” he said, then reading the warning in my glare, he smiled almost politely at Melina. “Hop in.”
I turned to Melina and, catching her around the waist, lifted her into the carriage. She let out a slight gasp as I hoisted her up, her mouth open in a sexy show of surprise that made me want to dive in with my tongue.
Somehow, I managed to keep my self-restraint in check, making sure she was comfortable before joining her on the bench seat, facing the driver.
“Slow night?” I called to Chapman as he gathered the reins and clicked his tongue at the horses.
“Yeah. Things won’t likely pick up until we get some snow and switch the carriage out for the sleigh. Then it’ll be nonstop.”
“With good breaks for your horses, I hope,” Melina piped up. Her stern tone and concerned look were one hundred percent adorable.
“Don’t you worry, love, Henrietta and Heidi are my girls, and I take extra-good care of all my girls,” he drawled, his Maritimes accent sounding thicker than it had only moments ago.
Was he flirting with my woman? If she were any other woman, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Fuck, I probably wouldn’t even care if she flirted back. But with Melina, I had the sudden urge to rip Chapman’s head off.
Instead, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and nuzzled her ear. “You warm enough?”
“Yes, thank you.” She turned away from me, looking back at the hotel and silently reminding me she wasn’t really mine.
No matter how much I wanted her.
I relaxed back into the seat as Chapman drove away from the standard circle he drove for every other guest. He steered the horses toward Green Mountain and away from the hotel, the cabins, and the Bay. About as far away from the clamor of the world as we could get.
My arm was still draped behind Melina, and our knees still bumped together, but I allowed her space and did my best to enjoy the lazy tour. And even though it was a pace that would normally bore me, with Melina by my side, it felt a bit like a thrill ride.
The air was thick with the scent of old pines as we rounded past a thick grove, when Melina’s hand landed on my thigh. “Look,” she whispered, holding her other hand up as if to catch the night sky. “Did you see that?”
For a moment, I could only stare at the beauty of her shadowed profile as the heat of her touch rushed over me. “What am I looking for?” I whispered back.
“There.” She leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder, urging my gaze to follow the direction of her outstretched arm. “I swear it was a speck of snow.”
“Hmmm,” I hummed, tracing my hand over her hair, and relishing the comfort her nearness brought. “Think I might have missed it.”
“No, keep watching.” She cuddled further into me and dropped her hand to join her other, still resting on my leg.
Everything inside me stilled. No more unruly urges. No unsettled nerves. Even my craving for her was somewhat sated, sitting here with her snuggled next to me, engrossed in the inky heavens like nothing else existed.
This feeling was new. This quiet. This calm.
And it scared the shit out of me how badly I wanted to keep it.
We lounged in silence for a while, nothing but the soft plod of the horses’ hooves, their heavy breaths, and the creak of the old carriage. Then the sky seemed to open and soft bits of white floated down from the darkness, landing in wet drops over everything.
“See!” She laughed, sticking her tongue out to catch the falling flakes.
I’d never been so engrossed in such a simple, innocent thing in all my life.
“Finally,” Chapman sighed.
Despite the snow, I was bathed in warmth, not only from the heat of Melina’s body next to mine, but from the pure, uninhibited happiness radiating off her.
She turned her face to mine, the glow of her joyful expression lighting up the night and setting my soul on fire. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
I stared into her eyes. Snow caught in her dark hair. Her cheeks were flushed. Her smile was wide and real. And somewhere between the ice rink and this carriage, between the twinkle lights and the first snowflake, I’d crossed a line I couldn’t come back from.
“Fucking gorgeous.”