Chapter 19
MADDIE
Wyatt rolls off me and onto the mattress, sucking in shallow breaths as he stares up at the ceiling.
I feel tense now that the fog of lust has dissipated.
What am I supposed to do now? I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps with men she can’t stand, and while this might be completely normal for Wyatt, I feel so out of my depth.
Especially considering our past, and how, up until we kissed, I hated this man, just like he hates me.
The only thing I’m certain of is that this was a mistake. Wyatt sleeps with anything that has a pulse—everybody knows it. Including me, and yet, I let this happen.
Dammit.
And there I go reminding myself of why I came here.
He went behind my back, outbid me, and no doubt bad-mouthed me to Mr. Evergreen while he was at it.
All because he’s got a problem with my brother and thinks that I’m somehow to blame for one of the tourists that visited twenty years ago breaking Autumn’s heart.
How could I be so stupid?
We have far too much history for this to have ever been a good idea.
No matter how badly my body has been craving him lately.
Sleeping with Wyatt was the last thing on my mind when I arrived.
But somewhere between me calling him an asshat and him carrying me up to his room, my body took over before my brain could catch up.
I’ll most likely regret this for the rest of my life.
He’ll probably hold it over my head too.
Frustrated, I sit up, moving to the edge of the mattress with as much dignity as I can muster, given my nakedness. The best thing I can do right now is get out of here and avoid him for a few weeks. Maybe even months. Hell, forever sounds pretty damn good.
My bra sits on the floor, the evidence of my recklessness.
This isn’t the kind of thing I do. I was so sure of my annoyance with Wyatt, and yet all I had to do was see him half naked and suddenly I’m dropping my panties and demanding that he fuck me and calling him a good boy.
Who even am I right now? This isn’t me. Even if he made me feel things I haven’t felt from a man in years. It doesn’t matter.
Angrily, I swipe my bra up and slide my arms into the straps, keeping my back to Wyatt. It would be the cherry on top to see his no doubt smug face as he watches me get dressed and do a walk of shame out of here.
“You wear that when you’re working on the ranch?” he asks casually as I fasten my bra.
God. I don’t want to make small talk.
Couldn’t he have the decency to at least pretend to be asleep? Or better yet, disappear into thin air so I could convince myself this never happened?
My eyes bulge out of my head as a thought crosses my mind. What if he thinks this meant something?
No, that’s a stupid idea. With Wyatt being who he is, I know that we’ll be on the same page about this. It’s not something to be repeated. Ever.
Wetting my lips, I stand, before remembering I don’t have any underwear on.
Immediately, I drop back down onto the mattress, heat flooding my cheeks.
I glance behind me at Wyatt. He’s lying on his side, watching me with his head propped on his fist, naked as the day he was born and without a care in the world.
The condom is gone, and I hate myself a little more for noticing.
You need to leave, Maddie.
Right now.
He asked you a question. Answer it and then leave.
Right, yes.
“Sometimes, it depends on what mood I’m in. I’m not wearing it for anybody but me,” I reply distractedly, trying to scour the room without standing from the bed. “Have you seen my panties?”
The mattress shifts behind me, and I hear a drawer scrape shut. “Nope, no clue where they could be. Everything’s a little hazy.”
Great. Just what I need. This was my favorite set.
Do I stick around and try to find them or just buy a new pair of panties?
The answer seems obvious, but I still hesitate.
They wouldn’t have got up and walked away by themselves, and I really don’t want to leave any evidence behind that this happened.
Fuck it. I need to leave.
With my mind made up, I stand, trying to contort my body so that Wyatt doesn’t see me naked. I’m aware that he already has, but this is in the stark light of day where we’re not drowning in our lust. It’s different.
I find my jeans and T-shirt and pull them on faster than I ever have, keeping my back to him the entire time. It’s only when I’m fully clothed and suck in a shaky breath—as if it will somehow give me the strength to face him—that I turn toward Wyatt.
He’s still lazing on the bed, his hair tousled but drier than when I arrived.
Propped up against the pillows, with the sheet covering him, he looks so fucking good, and I hate him for it.
Why does he get to be cool, calm, and collected while I’m over here a nervous wreck?
It’s not fair, like a lot of things that have happened today.
“This was a mistake and should never have happened,” I blurt, before setting a hand on my stomach and continuing, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about it.” My voice comes out firm and showing none of the uncertainty I’m feeling.
Wyatt stands from the bed, pulling the sheet with him.
I clench my hands by my side as he walks toward me, steeling my body for his approach.
It takes everything in me not to show any outward signs of the effect he’s having.
Of the way nerves flutter in my stomach, or the fact that as I look at his toned and chiseled chest, I want him again.
Coming to a stop in front of me, Wyatt reaches out, brushing back a strand of hair before running his finger down the side of my face. I bite the inside of my cheek and widen my eyes a fraction to keep from melting into his touch.
“You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone, darlin’. I don’t air my dirty laundry.” He places a finger under my chin and holds me captivated in his blue gaze. “Besides, I’ve had better.”
It takes me a second to process his words, and when I do, I rear back and away from his touch. Instinctively, my hand flies toward his face, the sharp slap of skin on skin lingering in the air.
“Fuck you, Wilde,” I hiss, holding my stinging palm to my chest before dropping it to my side. It doesn’t hurt as much as his words.
Unfazed, Wyatt smirks at me, as if he’s just won a prize. The prize for the biggest asshole, sure. “You just did, Hart.”
I could stand here and try to insult him, but it wouldn’t change anything.
Instead, without a word, I turn and march out of the room, seething at myself, him, and Mr. Evergreen for this entire situation.
Hot tears prick at my eyes as I hear Wyatt behind me, calling my name, but I ignore him.
The best thing for me to do now is to put as much distance between us as possible.
He’ll only ever remind me of my shame. Of how I gave into the lust for him and almost instantly regretted it.
When I climb into my truck, I close my eyes for a second to calm the chaos swirling inside of me. It fueled me on the drive over here and as I was banging on his door, but I need to rein it in if I want to make it home in one piece.
God, I hate that he got under my skin. I hate that I hit him, and I hate that I let him ever touch me.
With one last look at his closed front door, I start up the engine and head home. Regret swirls in my gut and with each mile that passes, my frustration and anger at myself only builds.
By the time I storm through my garage door into the kitchen, my fingers are itching to clean something and get rid of this antsy energy. It’s the only thing that ever seems to help when I feel like this.
I throw my keys onto the counter, moving to the sink and snagging the cloth that I threw in there this morning.
There’s a stain on the kitchen island that I haven’t been able to get out for months, no matter what I use on it, but I spray some cleaner onto the surface and scrub away, like this might be the time I get it out.
I’m so lost in my task that I don’t notice Deacon is in the room until he pulls the rag from my hand, a concerned look on his face when I try to snatch it from him.
“Woah, Mads.” His brows pull low as he takes a step away from me. “What’s happened?” he demands, his nostrils flaring like he’s spoiling for a fight.
“Why are you in my house?” I ask, ignoring his question and reaching for the cloth.
Deke chuckles, shaking his head as he points toward me, holding the cloth out of my reach. “You know the rules. If I asked, you have to answer.”
I fold my arms across my chest, eyeing up the cloth and calculating if I can get it quick enough if I smack him in the nuts.
He is kind of to blame for what just happened with Wyatt if I think about it hard enough.
After all, his stupid issue with Wyatt is part of the reason that he did what he did and outbid us.
If that hadn’t happened, I might never have slept with him.
Great. It seems I’m blaming everyone but myself.
Deacon raises a brow as he waits for me to answer.
“Nothing is wrong. I’m allowed to clean my own house.” I’m not about to tell Deacon that I just had sex, let alone that I had sex with the guy who hates him, and now I’m feeling all kinds of feelings about it. Disgust, regret, like I might want more.
“Try again,” he demands.
Running my tongue over my teeth, I turn toward the sink, bending to dig under it in search of another cloth. If he won’t give me back the one I was using, I’ll get another.
“Maddie,” he warns.
I drop my chin to my chest, closing my eyes as I blow out a long, shaky breath and stand. Maybe I can tell him some of the truth. I need to get it off my chest. Staring out of the kitchen window, I murmur, “I lost the Evergreen land.”
In the window’s reflection, I watch Deacon as he comes to stand behind me, lifting a hand to my shoulder. “What happened?”
I don’t hold back with this piece of information.
Wyatt doesn’t deserve my protection. “Mr. Evergreen called and said that he’s decided to sell the last plot to the Wildes.
” A muscle in Deacon’s jaw ticks, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Apparently Wyatt made him an offer he couldn’t refuse, and one we had no hope of ever matching. ”
“That asshole,” Deacon mutters.
You don’t have to tell me twice. “Now I need to break the news to Dad, and I can’t help but feel like a failure because he trusted me to win this. For Mom.”
Deacon pulls me into his side, resting his chin on the top of my head. “I can tell him, if you want. And pay Wyatt a visit and remind him how we conduct business round here.”
I step out of his arms, switching on the faucet and running the fresh cloth under the warm water.
“I appreciate you being willing to do that, but this is something I should do myself. Besides, I think it’ll land a little better if I do it.
” I give him a sad smile before adding, “And don’t worry, I already gave Wyatt a piece of my mind. ”
And a piece of my body too.
Focusing on the clear water, I swallow around the lump in my throat. The swirl of emotions inside me is almost too much for me to handle. I’ve never been that reckless in my life, and I’m so angry at myself for it.
Silence settles around us when I turn off the faucet and wring out the cloth.
Rolling my lips together, I turn back to the stain on the island, scrubbing away like my life depends on it.
Deacon’s presence is only adding to my shame, but when he clears his throat and moves around the kitchen toward the door, I force myself to stop.
I don’t need to fuck up every human interaction I have today, and unlike Wyatt, Deacon has done nothing wrong to warrant my bad manners.
“Did you need something?” I ask, dragging the back of my hand across my forehead as I look at him.
He picks up a tool bag I hadn’t noticed, holding it up as he chucks his thumb over his shoulder. “I was just upstairs fixing the leaky faucet in the guest bathroom.”
“Oh.” I look down at the counter as guilt floods me. My brother was here fixing my sink as I was fucking the guy who hates him. Fantastic. As if my day couldn’t get any worse.
Unaware of my betrayal, Deacon lifts a shoulder like it’s no big deal. “It should be okay now, but if it starts again, let me know. It could be a faulty washer inside the faucet, and then you’d need a new one, but for now, I’ve just tightened everything up.”
“Thank you,” I murmur.
Neither of us speaks for a moment, and I can tell that he’s weighing up his next words.
“If you need anything, just call, Mads. I’m sure Dad will understand about the land. It’s not like anything you did caused this. Sometimes things don’t work out in our favor, and I’m sure he’ll understand that.”
My chest tightens, and I nod. He walks away, and it’s only when I hear the click of the front door that I release my breath.
I’m the worst sister.
I spend the next few hours cleaning my house from top to bottom, grateful that Mona has everything in hand and I don’t hear a peep from her. The only thing I can focus on right now is cleaning and not the monumental mistake I made with a sexy, irritating cowboy.