Chapter 33
WYATT
I move Bolt to block a cow that’s trying to break free of the herd we’re moving into one of the grazing pastures.
We do this once a year and after a while you start to get a read on the cattle and what their next move is going to be before they even make it.
It’s that experience that allows me to be here in body but not in mind.
Maddie has been a distraction since the second she agreed to go on a date with me. It took every ounce of my self-control last night to walk back into the party and not seal our deal with my mouth on her pussy. She looked beautiful in her black minidress with her long legs on display.
I adjust my hardening cock in my jeans as the image of her parted lips and heated gaze flashes through my mind.
No. Even though I’m terrified, I’m going to do this right. I already know we click when it comes to sex, but this feels different, like it could be more.
Kade trots toward me, one hand by his side as he handles his horse, Duke, like the pro he is. When he comes to a stop, he maneuvers Duke to stand beside me and looks out to where Grayson and a couple of the ranch hands are herding the last of the cattle.
“Looks like we’re all done here,” Kade says.
I grunt.
“What’s got you so distracted today?”
“Nothing,” I deny, shrugging a shoulder. I’m not telling him about Maddie. I promised her we could keep it under wraps, which means outside of what I’ve already told Grayson, my lips are sealed.
“Yeah, right,” he huffs. “You’ve had at least five shots set up for you today and you’ve taken none of them. Are you sick?” He reaches toward me, the back of his hand aimed at my forehead under the brim of my Stetson before I duck out of his way.
Grayson arrives by our sides just as I’m scowling at Kade. “Don’t start, not now,” he huffs. “We’ve got an hour ride back to the ranch and the last thing I want to do is listen to you both bitch and moan about each other like a couple of schoolkids.”
I open my mouth at the same time as Kade before Grayson gives us a look and I snap mine shut.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Can’t you just behave like the grown-ass men you are?”
He moves between us, shaking his head before he starts the ride back to the yard.
Kade studies me for a beat before following Grayson and grumbling, “There’s definitely something going on with you.”
“Leave it, Kade. He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” Grayson calls.
As I follow them, I consider my options. I haven’t dated anyone seriously in over thirteen years. When I was in my early twenties and wanted to escape my reality, I realized that I could enjoy a woman without having to commit to her. Back then, that was the last thing I wanted.
But with Maddie, that doesn’t feel like enough. If it was, I’d have just walked away or even fucked someone else by now, but she’s been consuming me, and when I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her. It feels weird but at the same time, so right.
When I catch up to Grayson and Kade, I force Bolt into an easy walk as we cover the ground back to the ranch.
The natural sounds of Montana in the summer—the buzzing of grasshoppers mingling with the crunch of dry grass under our horses’ hooves—surrounds us until I can’t take the peace and quiet anymore.
It’s like being in my own head is suddenly too much.
I can ask them for advice without giving away who it is I’m talking about.
“How did you guys know that it wasn’t just sex anymore?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kade’s head snap in my direction. It’s so fast, I’m surprised he doesn’t hurt himself. “Have you met someone? Holy sh—”
When he stops mid-sentence, I imagine Grayson is giving him a look, but I keep my focus on the men moving up ahead. It feels safer that way.
“With Avery, it was always more than sex. I basically handed over my heart the day I met her, but we were kids, so it was different, you know?”
I nod and we fall quiet again.
Apparently having recovered from his surprise, Kade says, “Chloe hit me like a freight train. The second we locked eyes I had this overwhelming need to know everything about her. I went out of my way to spend time with her. The sex was just a bonus because I felt so connected to her.”
Fuck. It’s just my luck that my brothers have found soul connections and can’t relate at all to my situation. Have they seriously never had an intense dislike for someone that turned into something pleasurable? I can’t be the only person this has happened to.
“I’m glad you’ve both found love, but, fuck me, that was not helpful at all,” I huff, my body sagging in my saddle.
We laugh, the sound loud enough to make a few of the ranch hands up ahead turn back.
A lightness sinks into my chest as I pull in a lungful of fresh air.
It’s entirely possible that I’m making too much of this.
It doesn’t have to be more than this date, not right now.
Sure, we’ll no doubt have fun, but we don’t need to label whatever is going on between us.
It sure as hell isn’t anything close to what Grayson and Kade have with Avery and Chloe.
Grayson’s the first to fall serious. “Maybe if you tell us what’s going on we can help. I know you mentioned Maddie—”
Fuck. I should have kept my mouth shut. I promised her I’d keep us a secret. Grayson knew already, but I should have known better than to open my mouth in front of Kade.
“Maddie Hart?” Kade shouts, the sound echoing around the mountains that surround us.
I shoot him a look that would topple a weaker man. He holds up a hand, pulling his fingers across his lips, even though his eyes are still wide with his surprise.
“Yes, Maddie Hart,” I confirm before adding, “We slept together.” I hesitate for a beat, as if I should know better. “Three times.”
“You told me it was twice,” Grayson says, a question in his tone.
I drop my chin to my chest, angling my head to hide my face from him as if having sex with her is something to feel shameful about. The only thing to feel shameful about is that it took me this long to ask her on a date.
“You slept with her again?” Grayson asks when I don’t respond.
I nod. “Yeah. Something about her just keeps pulling me in and it’s like I can’t stop myself.”
“Look, I’ve been there with Avery. I get the addictive feeling, but do you think, given the history you have with her brother—and her for that matter—that you should maybe walk away?”
Logically it makes sense. But this thing with Maddie feels like it might be worth pursuing.
I press my lips together before forcing my next words out. “We’re going on a date tonight. You can’t tell anyone.” My eyes are on the big red barn with its worn paint that’s just up ahead, standing out as a beacon for our journey home.
Kade, not usually the voice of reason, pipes up and says, “That’s something, I guess.
But I think Gray is right, you can’t exactly have anything meaningful with her if you’ve been feuding with her family for years.
If this turns into something real, you can’t ignore that history, Wy. It’ll come back on you.”
They’re right. This isn’t just about me and Maddie.
It never was. I know that if anything beyond dinner and sex is going to happen with Maddie, then I’ll have to figure out this shit with Deacon, but that’s a worry for another day.
I mean, whatever this thing is between us, it might not even make it past dinner.
Right now, I need to focus on the present, stop worrying about what comes after and wrap my head around the fact that I’m going on a date. A real one. With Maddie Hart.