5. Avery
FIVE
Avery
I stand on the sidewalk outside The Wildflower, staring up at its worn sign. Ever since I left Autumn’s coffee shop, I’ve been questioning if coming out tonight was a good idea.
Deep down, I know there’s a possibility that I’ll see Grayson while I’m in town, but at The Wildflower? Yeah, going out and socializing was always more of a Wyatt thing.
I’d bet my Gibson Hummingbird on seeing Kade out for the night before I saw Grayson, and that’s saying something. No, I’m sure I won’t see him out tonight, and even if I do, I doubt he’ll talk to me.
It’s not like me to be nervous. Even playing in front of twenty thousand people, I keep my cool.
So why is it so nerve-wracking to walk into a bar?
I inhale deeply, square my shoulders, and head for the door, half convinced that I’m right about not seeing Grayson.
If the tabloids could see me now, I’m sure they’d have a field day.
The sounds inside are muted as I approach, but when I open the door, they hit me like a crashing wave of comfort that I haven’t felt in such a long time. A sea of familiar faces greets me, but in reality, too much time has passed for me to consider these people anything but strangers.
My attention is drawn to the stage across the room.
Even through the crowd, my eyes linger on it as memories flood my mind.
I did my first public performances in this place.
I remember having to beg and plead with Titan to give me a shot.
Eventually, he caved, setting up a makeshift stage and getting a microphone and speaker set that he said he’d been wanting for trivia nights.
Not much else has changed about the place. The tables dotted around the room are still the same worn hardwood, probably sticky from spilled drinks. And in the large alcove is the pool table where, if you’re new in town, you’ll probably be grifted out of some change.
And then, across the bar like a bee drawn to pollen, I see him.
Grayson .
It’s like being thrown back in time, when we were still kids, and all I ever needed or wanted was my music and him .
Walking away from what we had was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I’d hoped and prayed he’d follow me, but he never did.
And over a decade later, after selling out arenas and having my face plastered across billboards in Times Square, I’m still not sure I made the right decision that night.
As if he can sense me, Gray lifts his head.
I feel the heat of his stare as I drown in his deep blue eyes.
His hair is short but messy on top, like he didn’t run a comb through it before coming out.
He looks the same but older and more rugged, with a dusting of stubble covering his jaw, worn by the land he loves.
Has he found love with someone else?
The question settles in my mind, surging through my chest with emotion. I feel everything all at once. The loss of him from twelve years ago and the regret that settles on my chest in the most painful way.
I should leave .
He turns away, and I pull in a breath, shaking my head as I smooth my hands over the white spaghetti strap sundress I’m wearing. I feel like a fraud in my western boots, as if they can all tell that I don’t belong here. Not anymore .
I’m turning away, ready to leave and hide away at my parents’ for the rest of my stay—however long that is—when a high-pitched squeal stops me in my tracks. It's loud enough to be heard over the chatter of the busy bar, and I turn, scanning the room.
Autumn’s pushing her way through the crowd, a grin on her face that I can’t help but return.
The sight of her is like an anchor in a sea of uncertainty.
When she reaches me, she pulls me into a hug that’s so tight a sound I’ve never heard myself make before flies from my lips.
She still smells like chocolate chip cookies and coffee; it’s a comforting scent and one I allow to calm me.
She pulls back, holding me at arm’s length. “Oh my god, you made it. Come, everyone wants to say hi and hear what you’ve been up to.”
I’m hit again with the guilt of my departure and the fact that I haven’t stayed in touch, but Autumn doesn’t notice. She’s too busy pulling me across the room toward her cousins. Some of the patrons turn to stare when we pass, and I nod to them, ignoring the nerves swelling inside of me.
Apprehension fills me as we close the distance between my way out and the people I’ve always considered family.
People I thought would be my real family when Grayson and I married, because that’s how far in we were.
And then I went and ruined it all . I’m not ready for this, and I don’t think I ever will be, so I guess there’s no time like the present to rip the Band-Aid off.
Autumn thrusts me forward, and I stumble to stand in front of Grayson, Wyatt, Kade, and Gracie. A nervous smile pulls at my mouth as I awkwardly wave my fingers. “Hey.”
It feels like an eternity before anyone speaks, but in truth, it’s a matter of seconds before Gracie pulls me into a hug that could rival Autumn’s for its intensity.
“Ave, I have missed you so much.” She leans back, her eyes flitting around my face as she fluffs up my hair.
“You look so stinking good. I’d hate you if I didn’t love you so much. ”
I swallow, blinking back the tears of relief that flood my eyes. “I missed you too, Gracie.”
She swats at my arm playfully. “Then keep in touch.”
“Don’t scare her off before the rest of us have had a chance to say hi, Gracie,” Wyatt cuts in, slinging his arm around my shoulder and tugging me into his side.
He smells like whiskey and too much aftershave.
Smirking down at me, he winks before looking over at Grayson, who’s leaning against the bar with his back to us.
Wyatt looks so much like Grayson, they could be twins, but their personalities are what set them apart. Where Grayson was always serious and reserved, Wyatt was flirty and boisterous.
I playfully shove Wyatt away, shaking my head. “If anyone is likely to scare me off, it’s you, Wyatt,” I tease.
He places a hand on his chest, stumbling back and into the man behind him as if I’ve hurt him. “I’m wounded, Ave. Deeply. I might need a little something.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “You know, to heal me.”
Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I look down my nose at him and reply, “I’d rather lick the floor. Lord knows it’ll be easier to keep track of what’s been on it.”
Laughter erupts around us, and for a moment, it feels like old times. Like I never left. Until I lock eyes with Grayson and memories of that last night come flooding back. My smile dies, and I look down at the floor.
As if he’s noticed the change in my demeanor, Kade hugs me into his side, the faint scent of hay clinging to his clothes as he murmurs against the top of my head. “Missed you, Ave.” He pulls away, tipping the bill of his Carhartt hat.
I squeeze his forearm, a lopsided smile on my lips. “Missed you too, kiddo.”
Looking around at the people who have welcomed me home with open arms, I realize I made a mistake in thinking that cutting myself out of their lives was the right thing to do. I should have stayed in touch because I know that when I left, it wasn’t just mine and Grayson’s hearts that broke.
Gracie hands me a bottle of beer, knocking her own against it before she brings it to her lips. I’m still aware of Grayson, leaning against the bar. Even as I catch up with his family, I can’t help but sneak furtive glances at him, wanting more from him but knowing I don’t deserve it.
Wyatt’s low voice cuts through my thoughts when he says, “You should come over for dinner on Sunday, Ave. Mom would love to see you.”
I’m caught off guard by the invitation, and my eyes widen in surprise before darting over to Grayson, who’s now scowling at Wyatt.
“Yes,” Autumn squeals, practically vibrating with excitement. “I’ll pick you up at three. You, me, and Gracie can help Georgia get everything ready before the boys get back from work.”
I open my mouth to speak—to thank him, but ultimately decline the invitation—however, Wyatt cuts me off. “Then it’s settled. You’ll come over for family dinner on Sunday.”
A glass is slammed onto the bar, drawing our attention to Grayson as he shakes his head, disappointment, anger, and something else unfurling in his gaze before he storms away.
He wasn’t ready to see me .
Hell, I should have thought about that. I should have considered how he would feel seeing me again, especially after how we left things. I didn’t come back to Coldwater with the intention of hurting him. But maybe me being here is enough to open old wounds.
I dismiss the thought almost as soon as it appears. We’re both adults . I know that I’m not the only one who had a hand in the ending of our relationship. Surely he can’t blame me for leaving to fulfill my dreams, especially when he stayed to follow his.