22. Avery
TWENTY-TWO
Avery
A light sheen of sweat covers my body as I navigate the rental car down the long, winding driveway to the Wild Heartlands ranch.
It’s boiling outside, and I’m dressed in high-waisted bell bottoms and a crop top, which is far more clothing than I’ve worn all summer.
Hell, it’s far more than I’ve worn in years.
It’s not exactly music star attire. I’m also sweating with nerves and have a bunch of butterflies taking up residence in the pit of my stomach.
Why did I agree to this?
It’s been years since I’ve ridden a horse, and to add that into the mix when I’m going on a date with the guy I never really stopped loving?
It’s asking for disaster. I feel like I could throw up the meager breakfast I forced myself to eat this morning, just so I didn’t add passing out to the list of things that could go wrong today.
I come to a stop at the house, my attention drifting to the backdrop of the mountains behind the big barn.
Come on, Avery .
There are much scarier things out there in those mountains than the man I gave my heart to all those years ago.
You’re going to be fine .
With my pep talk out of the way, I swallow thickly and kill the engine. The dull sound of a ranch at work penetrates the car before I throw the door open, and the noise intensifies.
Cursing myself for not bringing a hat, I hold my hand up to shield my eyes from the sun and scan the scene in front of me. He’s most likely going to be down by the barns. That’s where I always found him when we were dating.
I head in that direction, the memory of what Gray and I did in the big red barn settling hot and heavy in my gut.
Great. Just what I need. The reminder of him taking me is the last thing I want running through my mind on this date.
Not because it isn’t welcome, but because if I know Gray like I think I do, he’s going to be the perfect gentleman.
I lift my chin, determination filling me. No thoughts of sex today, no matter how badly I want him again, I decide as my brown cowboy boots crunch on the gravel along the track.
Grayson appears in the open double doors, a lead rope in each hand, as he walks two horses into the yard.
A slow, sexy smile spreads across his face when he spots me, and just like that, a little bit of my nerves ebbs away.
He looks good, dressed in jeans and a soft white T-shirt that clings to his muscular chest. He’s shaved, his jaw clear of the stubble he’s been sporting the last couple of times I’ve seen him.
“Afternoon,” he says, handing one of the horses to a stable hand before hitching the one he’s left with to the fence. They’re already saddled up and ready to go.
“Hi.” My voice comes out too high. I wince, heat flaming my face before I clear my throat and try again, “Hey.”
Grayson grins, like he’s glad that I’m nervous around him. He picks up his Stetson, placing it low on his brow before throwing his thumb backward and asking, “You ready for this?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek and squint up at him. “I guess, although, you’ll have to forgive me if I’ve forgotten everything you ever taught me about riding a horse.”
He chuckles, picking up a hat from the second horse before coming to stand in front of me.
“If I remember correctly…” He places the hat on my head, and I lift my chin to look him in the eyes.
“You were always a quick learner.” His voice is thick, a current of intimacy covering the words that tells me he’s not talking about horseback riding.
I open my mouth and close it again, uncertain of what to say because the first thought I have is to ask him to kiss me. The second is to ask him to claim me.
Gray shakes his head and moves back, showing that he has much more self-restraint than I do and that he knows exactly what would happen if we gave in.
He walks to one of the horses, and I follow, standing on his interlocked fingers as he boosts me up and onto the magnificent animal.
It’s not one I’ve ridden before, and the thought sends a wave of sadness through me.
I didn’t expect him to still have the same horses, but it’s just another reminder of how much time we’ve lost.
Once Grayson is on his horse, we ride off, side by side, at a steady pace with a peaceful quiet between us. It’s not awkward or strained, just quiet, like we’re both aware of how much weight this date holds.
We’re crossing a pasture, the sun high in the sky, but the heat is chased away by a light breeze. I tip my face toward it, the warmth seeping into my exposed skin. “It feels good to be out here.”
Silence greets my statement, and I nervously dart a glance toward Gray. His eyes are on me, something indescribable burning in the blue depths before he looks away and replies, “Coldwater suits you, Ave. It always has.” There’s a note of longing in his tone.
He’s right, of course. It took years for me to realize that the tiny hole of emptiness, the one that grew so big over the years, that felt like I lost a part of myself, was because I missed Coldwater. I missed him and everything I left behind.
Leaving the pasture, we follow the trail through the tree line.
Pine and dust fill the air, reminding me of the first time Gray brought me along this trail.
We’d sneak out here when we were teenagers and wanted some time to lose ourselves in each other.
We had a lot of places in Coldwater, on this ranch, where we built our memories and the foundation of our relationship; it’s only fitting that we mend it here too.
It doesn’t take long before we reach a clearing in the trees. The meadow stretches out in front of us, the perfect mountain backdrop behind it, and wildflowers blooming in patches among the long grass that sways in the breeze, creating a ripple effect.
Grayson hops down from his horse, tying it to a tree trunk before coming over to help me. I’ve jumped from the saddle before he can get to me, terrified of what I might do if I feel his hands on me again.
After he’s tied up my horse too, I follow as he walks further into the meadow, my mouth falling open when I spot what’s in the clearing.
Laid out, with the perfect view of the mountains and meadow, is a blanket and a basket sitting beside it.
Warmth floods my core when I realize we’re alone out here, just us and the scenery, with nobody to see anything we do.
“You really went all out, didn’t you?” I say as I remove my hat and take a seat on the blanket.
Grayson’s knees brush mine as he settles beside me, but neither of us moves, the contact holding more weight than it should.
He shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “I figured if we’re going to get to know each other again, we might as well do it in style and without interruptions.”
He lifts the basket onto the blanket between his legs before opening the lid.
All of my favorite treats are inside: his mama’s cookies, fresh lemonade, sandwiches, and leftover fried chicken.
All the things that have been absent from my diet for the last decade or so, partly because nobody does it better than Mrs. Wilde, but also because it’s just not the ‘done’ thing in Nashville.
“Well, it sure doesn’t look like you need to get to know me when it comes to the food I like,” I tease, taking the cup he holds out for me.
Our fingers brush, and I let my touch linger for longer than I should. His eyes flick to mine, something unspoken but familiar passing between us.
With his attention back on pouring out a generous glass of lemonade, I allow myself to breathe as he replies, “Some things you don’t forget, no matter how hard you try.”
An ache forms in my chest, even though I know what he’s saying is the truth. I felt it, because no matter how much I tried to move on from him, he was always at the forefront of my mind. Always the man I compared anyone else to.
I moan around my first bite of the club sandwich, closing my eyes and tipping my face up to the sun as I chew. Remembering where I am, I look over at Grayson as he watches me with an amused smirk on his face. “It’s really good.”
He chuckles, pulling off a strip of chicken. “I couldn’t tell.”
Ignoring the heat in my cheeks, I ask, “So, what’ve you been up to?”
Gray exhales heavily, setting his plate down on top of the basket. “Now that’s a loaded question. Ever since Dad passed, I’ve been more involved in building out the ranch as a business than working the land.”
“I’m sorry about your dad. My mom told me, but I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.” Sincerity coats my words. I’d always had a soft spot for Mr. Wilde because he treated me like one of his own children.
We fall quiet for a moment before Grayson runs a hand over his jaw and says, “I reached out.” My brows pull together. “When he passed. I reached out, but didn’t hear anything from you. Figured you’d changed your number or something.”
My voice is soft when I reply, “I didn’t get anything. God, Gray, you have to know that if I had, I’d have been here in a heartbeat.”
He runs his hand through his hair, nodding. “I know. You were chasing your dreams, Ave. Yeah, I was heartbroken that you left, but the older I get, the more I realize that I can’t blame you for that. Shit, look at all you’ve accomplished.”
I scrunch up my nose and look out at the mountains. “Look at all you’ve accomplished too, Gray. I wanna hear all about it.”
We eat and talk; he updates me on what he’s done with the ranch to make it into the empire it is today, including leasing land to other ranchers, sponsoring the rodeo, breeding cattle and horses and signing contracts with some of the biggest ranches in Texas.
He talks about his plans for the future, how he wants to delegate more to Wyatt and Kade so he can focus on the part of ranching he loves: working the land.
I tell him about Nashville, the lowest of my lows and the highest of my highs.
It feels like he really listens, taking in all I’ve worked for with an air of respect.
The resentment he had for me leaving never creeps in.
“I came home because I lost the spark. The music wasn’t making me happy anymore, and if I’m being honest, it hasn’t for so long,” I admit, watching a butterfly nearby.
“For the first time in a really long time, I’m starting to feel like myself again, and I think that was what I needed for this upcoming tour I have. ”
Grayson tips back his drink and crosses his ankles.
“Are you going to leave soon? Now that you’ve found that spark again, do you think you’ll stick around a little longer?
” His tone is light, even curious, but the air suddenly feels charged, like whatever is happening between us is dependent on the answer I give.
Turning to face him, I wait for him to meet my gaze before responding. “Obviously, I have to go back. I have to do this tour, not for me, but for my fans. What comes after that is anyone’s guess. But I have a little bit more time before I need to leave.”
He gives a firm nod before diving into the basket and pulling out a tub. Popping off the lid, he holds the container out for me, and I take one of the chocolate chip cookies inside.
“I’d still like to do this, though.” I wave the cookie between us. “Go on more dates before I leave. If you’ll have me?” I look up at him from under my lashes, my breath stuck in my throat as I wait for him to speak.
I see the flare of surprise mixed with excitement in his blue eyes. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows before replying, “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away, Ave.” His voice is gruff and laced with desire.
Warmth floods my cheeks, and I search for something to say that won’t end with me climbing into his lap.
“I wrote a song this morning, my first one in over a year,” I say, my chest relaxing as I finally tell someone about it. I’m glad it’s him that I get to share this with.
He leans back on his elbow and watches me with a look so soft it could unravel me. “Yeah?”
I nod, staring down at my lap before meeting his gaze. “Yeah. It was about us, about our story.”
“Maybe one day, you’ll play it for me?” His tone tells me that even if I say no, he won’t press me. He’ll respect my decision, even if he doesn’t understand it.
Picking off a piece of the cookie to give myself something to look at rather than hold his intense stare, I whisper, “One day.”
Our conversation soon turns to reminiscing about the trouble we used to get up to, and before we know it, the sun is dipping lower in the sky.
“Ready to head back?” Gray asks, a hint of reluctance in his tone that matches my own feelings.
I look around at the landscape, as if this will be the last time I see it and reply, “Yeah.”
It doesn’t take us long to pack up, and then we’re on the horses, riding back to the house. It seems that riding a horse is like riding a bike; you never really forget how to do it.
We come to a stop outside the barn, and Gray helps me down, his hands firmly on my waist. The heat of his palms through my cotton T-shirt is nearly enough to set me on fire.
When he sets me down, we’re close, the closest we’ve been since our near kiss this morning.
Everything narrows to just the two of us, his masculine scent wrapping around and drowning me.
“Today was…” I pause, searching for the right words to describe it.
“Perfect,” he finishes for me.
I nod, swallowing down the nerves. Grayson leans in, slow enough to give me an out.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, another moment of hesitation, but there isn’t a chance in hell that I would ever refuse his kiss.
His lips brush over mine, the soft touch nearly taking my feet out from under me.
I hold my breath, waiting for more. Another tentative pass, and another before he consumes me. The connection of our mouths is all that I can focus on. It’s like shooting into space and being greeted by the stars.
Too soon we part, and he rests his forehead on mine. I search his gaze and see the restraint. He wants more, just as much as I do.
“Fuck, Ave. Don’t look at me like that,” he groans.
“Like what?” I rasp, my focus on his mouth.
Grayson steps back, the loss of his touch leaving me oddly bereft. “Like you want more, like you’d let me get on my knees and devour every inch of you.”
I blow out a breath, dragging my eyes away before returning them to his. “Would that be so bad?”
His body twitches, like he’s about to move close before he stops himself. Grayson runs a hand through his hair, laughing, and I can’t hold back my own grin. “No, it wouldn’t be bad at all, but the next time I have you, it’s going to be in a bed.”
I pout and rock back on my heels. “Spoilsport.”
“Go home, Ave,” he admonishes. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
“You can count on it, cowboy.”
As I walk to my car, I feel his eyes on me and the trace of his kiss on my mouth. Whatever is happening between us, the feelings I had for Grayson Wilde all those years ago haven’t gone away. I doubt they ever will.