27. Avery
TWENTY-SEVEN
Avery
I drop onto the couch with a sigh, stretching my legs across the worn coffee table and holding my phone in a tight grip as it vibrates. It’s Penelope. She’s been calling me on and off for the last couple of days, her voicemails getting more and more frantic.
Every message has been the same, laden with guilt and anger. Does she really think I don’t understand what’s waiting for me back in Nashville? I wouldn’t let my fans down by not returning, but she has to see that I need this.
The vibrating stops before starting back up almost instantly. Penelope lights up the screen, but this time I connect the call, holding the phone to my ear.
“Avery? I’ve been trying to call you for days,” she barks. Her frustration at me cutting her off the other day clearly hasn’t faded.
“And I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want you to contact me? It seems we can’t both have our own way.”
I hear a door close in the background and the telltale squeak of her office chair. “It would appear so. Now, I need an update on these songs.”
Rolling my eyes, I blow out a breath, determined to get her off the phone as quickly as I can. “They’re nearly ready. I think they should be done by next week.”
“Great. That’s progress. I’ll book you a flight.”
I close my eyes and inhale, slowly blowing it out before I speak, my frustration and anger bubbling beneath the surface. “I’ll sort that out myself, Pen. Please, just let me have what little time I have left in peace.”
A knock sounds at the door, and I stand, padding over to open it. “Look, I have to go. I’ll let you know when I need the flight.”
“I don’t need to remind you what’s at stake here, Avery.”
And yet you keep doing exactly that.
I grumble something unintelligible and disconnect the call before pulling open the door to let Gracie, Autumn, and Olivia in. They’re holding snacks and drinks, with beaming smiles on their faces as they sashay in.
“It’s girls’ night, bitches,” Olivia declares, sweeping past me like she owns the place, heading straight for the couch.
Gracie’s next, a bottle of wine in one hand and a pint of ice cream in the other. She holds them both up triumphantly before pulling me into a hug.
Autumn is last, her eyes narrow. “You okay? Sure you still wanna do this? We can go if you don’t want to. It’s not a problem.”
I force a smile and pull her into a hug before closing the door. “I’m fine, and I think tonight is just what the doctor ordered.”
An hour and two bottles of wine later, we’re curled up under blankets, passing the pint of cookie dough ice cream around. The lights are dimmed, and an old horror movie plays in the background with the volume down low as we talk.
“I’ve been thinking about walking away.” I don’t process my words before they’re out, hanging in the air between us.
All three heads turn toward me, their expressions filled with surprise.
“From Grayson?” Gracie asks, worry causing her to gnaw on her bottom lip.
I lean forward, taking hold of her hand. It’s cold from where she was holding the ice cream tub moments ago. “No, never again,” I breathe. “From the music and everything that comes with it.”
The silence that follows is thick. I look at each of their faces, a soft smile playing on my lips at their shock and the way that Autumn’s mouth is opening and closing as she searches for the right words.
Deep down, I know that I’ve felt like this for a long time, way before I ever returned to Coldwater.
As if shaking herself out of it, Olivia leans forward. “Wait… like a break? Or like done done?”
I fiddle with the ends of my blanket. “Coming back here was my break. I think I’m done done.”
Gracie’s eyes widen. “But you’ve been working toward this your whole life. You left to follow this dream.”
“I know.” My voice is barely a whisper, and as shame and regret coat me, I drop my gaze, unable to look them in the eyes.
“I thought it would make me happy. At first, I thought the record deal would, then it was getting the radio plays, before booking the tour. But none of them made an inkling of a difference. It’s like a piece of me has been withering away ever since I left, and it’s only now flourishing again because I’m back. ”
Autumn sets down her wine glass, before moving to sit next to me on the couch and pulling me into her side. “Ave, are you sure this is what you want? We’ll wholeheartedly support you no matter what, but we know how much you wanted this in the first place.”
I rest my head on her shoulder, drawing on their strength to finally tell my truth. “I don’t know. This is the thing. Every day, I go back and forth on whether it’s the right thing to do. If I give up, then none of it was worth it.”
“It was,” Gracie says, her voice firm and brokering no argument. “All you have to do is look at the lives you’ve touched to know that. It’s okay to start over, but I think if you’re not sure, don’t turn your back on it just yet.”
Maybe they’re right. It’s a big decision to make and not one to be made lightly, but I can’t help but feel that it might be the right one.
It feels good to get this off my chest, but until I know for certain what I want to do, it’s not fair to bring Grayson into this.