Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Faelan
It had been almost four weeks since that fateful day of healing Malarky, and Luch and I were officially a couple.
Dating.
We’d leaned into that perfect blissful time in a relationship where we could barely keep our hands off each other, the other person had zero flaws, and every date was a new discovery. I loved every moment of it. I relished the feeling of being cocooned in a little ball of bliss.
Yet, still, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
Never before had all parts of my life fallen into perfect place before. I had new friends, I had joined a magickal Order that accepted who I was, and I had a man who seemed proud of me and understood what I did for a living.
It felt … wrong. I knew that was horrible to think, but I’d grown so used to my life imploding that having a time where there were no real problems didn’t sit well with me. A part of me felt like I was always looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next attack.
“Earth to Faelan.”
“Och, sorry.” I snapped back to attention. I was at Willow’s shop and trying on an outfit she insisted I would “slay” in. I wasn’t sure I really felt like slaying anything, but I did have a date at Grasshopper this week with Luch, and I wouldn’t mind something new to wear.
Willow, a bubbly American who radiated sunshine, was also a member of the Order of Caledonia.
While Sophie had been doing good about hosting a “family” night every Sunday at the castle, Willow had initiated a weekly girls’ night for all of the members to hang out away from the men in their lives.
This week’s focus, apparently, was my abysmal wardrobe, and even though I’d told Willow that I had to keep it pretty simple as at any time I could be covered in vomit or feces, she insisted I still deserved a few frivolous things that would make me feel beautiful.
“She’s a terrorist, Faelan. Just let her have her way.” Orla, the pint-sized builder working on the Common Gin construction project, grinned at me from where she sat on the floor in overalls, her back to the couch.
“Now, as I was saying, we don’t have a lot of time before your next date, but if you wanted to feel sexy what would you normally wear?”
“Um.” Honestly, it had been ages since I’d put much thought into dressing up. Instead, I purchased serviceable clothes that could pack easily in a duffle when I moved on. “I guess a skirt or a dress? But I don’t own any.”
“A girl after my own heart.” Orla raised her glass to me. Kaia, a goldsmith, snickered and held up her glass too.
“Same here,” Kaia said. Murdoch, her crow, bobbed his head in agreement behind her.
Honestly, if anyone peered through the window at that moment, they’d probably be highly confused.
We had a veritable menagerie around us. Apparently, once our magickal familiars had caught wind of our girls’ nights, they’d decided to join.
So along with seven women crowded into Willow’s fitting studio, we also had a cat, two gnomes, a crow, a broonie, and a fox.
I was told Orla’s goldfish didn’t travel well and her dog was happy at home with Finlay, and Eugene and Edith were enjoying their blissful time as new parents.
And though the castle dogs weren’t Sophie’s familiars, Sir Buster and Lady Lola lounged on one side of the room, casting baleful eyes at the cat, Calvin, that prowled the rug, taunting them.
The gnomes had taken themselves to a corner, canoodling on a cushion on the floor, and Gnorman was currently feeding Gnora a grape.
But it was the shy broonie that fascinated me.
He had big eyes, rarely showed himself, and apparently enjoyed mischief.
Brice was his name, and he was incredibly endearing—when you caught glimpses of him.
Usually I’d just see a blur of movement and some soft chitter-chattering before something appeared before me.
Like just now, when my glass of champagne was miraculously topped up.
“He’s so fast.” I looked at Lia in shock and she laughed, tucking one of her wild curls behind her ear.
Owner of Grasshopper restaurant, Lia spent most of her time tucked away in the kitchen and was rarely about.
These girls’ nights were her saving grace, she’d told us on more than one occasion, making her feel human again.
“He really is. And when he’s not up to trouble, he’s wildly helpful.” Lia blinked down at her now full glass as soft chattering filled the air. For a moment, Brice glimmered into view and then he was gone again.
“Honestly? I can’t believe I’ve spent my whole life being harassed for my magick when if I’d just landed here first, I’d have found kindred souls.
” I shook my head in awe. It had been a fact that I’d been marveling over, quite a bit, of late.
How many countless hours of worry and fear would we have avoided if we could have just found this place to begin with?
And how did I eventually find my way here, all on my own?
“I’ve been thinking about that, actually. Since we first learned about you. It’s taken me some time, but I think I’ve found some more information.” Lia held up a leather book.
“What is that?” I asked, curiosity mixing with unease in my gut.
“Ladies, come on. Let me at least get started on some outfit ideas.” Willow stomped a screaming pink high heel.
“Go fitted,” I said, not turning to look at her. “I never wear fitted. Skirt, top, dress. And a bold color. Something totally out of the norm for me.”
“Sparkles?” Willow whispered, hopefully.
“Too far.”
“Damn it. Fine. Let me think.” Willow bent her head to her iPad and I focused on Lia.
“Your mum? Her name was Eriska, right?”
Hope bloomed. I wasn’t sure why, but even just hearing her name brought her laughter back to me. It was as though she was hovering over my shoulder, joining us for this connection of women and friendship, and I swallowed, my throat going dry.
“Aye. Eriska Fletcher.” I took a shaky sip of my champagne and dug my hand into the fur at Gloam’s neck.
He sat, curled next to my leg, one eye cracked open to keep an eye on the dogs.
Frankly, I was proud of him for even staying in the room with them, but he’d told me that Sir Buster was all bark, and Lady Lola only cared about snacks and naps. “Her maiden name.”
“You took your mother’s last name?” Lia peered at me over the top of the book.
“No father to speak of.” I shrugged. It didn’t sting anymore, not really.
Even though I’d dealt with outrage from other people in my life growing up, I’d never questioned if I was loved.
Eriska had loved enough for two parents, hell, her optimism and enthusiasm for life could have filled the world with love.
“No interest in finding out?” Orla asked and then winced. She put a hand in the air. “To be clear, I am the last person to ever push someone into a reunion. You do you, girl.”
“It’s just a door that I’m happy to remain closed.
He died not long after Eriska had moved us on, and I’m not confident that anything good would come of tracking down his family and trying to force something unneeded.
I think people always have these romantic stories in their heads that bringing family back together will always end well, and I just haven’t seen that to be the case.
” I shrugged, hoping I wasn’t being too pragmatic for the girls.
“I’ll admit, I do find it a touch sad. But I come from such a different space.
I have the best parents in the world and a large family that is constantly in each other’s business.
But then I look at Munroe and the difficulty he’s had with his family, and I can understand why he’s enforced boundaries.
I don’t think there is a ‘one-sized fits all’ solution to these situations.
It’s especially nuanced. And if you aren’t lying awake, night after night, yearning for that connection, then why seek it out? ” Lia smiled gently.
“It is sad. But then so is a lot of life. There’s also a lot of love to be found elsewhere, and to be given. I always try to remember that when I’m working with animals. I hope they feel my love and positive energy when I help them.”
“They do.” Gloam lifted his head and put his chin on my thigh and I scratched at his favorite spot behind his ears.
Talk of love made me wonder about Luch. The only other person I’d felt so connected to was my mum.
And now, these amazing women. But there were times when Luch looked at me and I swore he loved me.
Each time, I’d thought it was too soon. Was it?
How long did it take for two people to fall in love?
What does that feel like? If I didn’t know the answer to that, did that mean I wasn’t in love with him?
I did know that I didn’t want things to change. I felt happy. Content. Settled.
But that alone made me nervous. Like waiting for the axe to fall. I wasn’t used to calm waters, I was a ship built for weathering storms.
“Right, so what I can find in here really has to do more with your great, great, grandmother than it does anything with your father. I was just asking to make sure I had the last names correct. Because I do have a Flora Fletcher who was also a healer.”
My mouth dropped open and I let out a small squeal.
“No way. Do you really? Och, I don’t know much about Flora. Just her name and she worked with her hands as well. But my mum didn’t have much in the way of records. We moved too much.”
“Yes, it’s quite clear.” Lia brandished the book and I stood and crossed the room. Sophie slid over on the couch to make room, and I dropped down between them both.
I leaned down and looked at the faded writing on the page.
The script was precise and elegant, in the way of old-fashioned cursive, and just seeing her name written down lit me up.
It was as though she hadn’t entirely been erased from history, that she still mattered, and I reached out to brush a finger lightly across her name.
“There she is.”
“It says she was also a healer, and that she was almost persecuted for being a witch when she helped to heal a child under suspicious circumstances. Instead of the family being grateful, they accused her of witchcraft,” Lia read out loud and the entire room made noises of disgust.
“Typical. Here someone saves your freaking kid’s life, but instead of being grateful they attack.” Shona huffed out an annoyed breath.
“But,” Lia continued, holding a finger in the air, “it looks like Lachlan’s kin stepped in and did something to stop it. Flora went on to live a long and healthy life at the castle.”
“That’s my man,” Sophie said, proudly. “The Order must have found her and taken her in.”
Tears pricked my eyes and I held a hand to my chest.
“Roots,” I breathed. I hadn’t realized just how much it mattered to me, to feel connected somewhere, to know of those who came before me. “I have actual roots.”
“Oh, you do. You really do. You’re home now, Faelan.
” Before I knew it, I had five women surrounding me, all giving me a hug, while trying not to spill the champagne I held.
The dogs jumped up, and Sir Buster, sensing an opening, made his move on Gloam.
Dashing across the room, he bared his teeth in a show of bravery, when Calvin simply walked up and swatted him across the nose.
Sir Buster shrieked and raced back to his corner and we all laughed, even though I was still wiping tears from my eyes.
“Willow?” Lia asked, and I realized she’d been the only one not to hug me. Instead, she drew furiously on her iPad, but her eyes stared out the window, not seeing anything.
“I think she’s having a vision,” Sophie whispered, coming to her side, but not touching her. “Willow? Are you okay?”
Willow heaved in a massive breath and then seemed to snap back into reality, her slack expression changing to one of confusion, before she blinked down at the pad in her hands.
Looking back up, her eyes sought mine. Her gift was one of foresight, and she’d told me sometimes the visions came through when she was sketching.
“Oh no,” I whispered, fear clenching my gut. Gingerly, I stood and walked across the room to her. She tilted the iPad to face me. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t quite grasp it all.” Willow looked down at the drawing she’d made. On it, a Kelpie loomed from the water and swooped low over a wolf that bared its teeth to the beast.
Relief filled me.
“Oh, that already happened. Everything’s fine.”
“Wait, what? This happened? Why didn’t you say anything?” Sophie looked from the drawing to me, concern on her face.
“What does it show?” Kaia asked.
“Um, it was almost a month ago? I’m sorry. I meant to bring it up and then I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t capable of defending myself, and I don’t know …” I shrugged, embarrassed to be caught out like this. Had I committed a sin? Would they be angry with me?
“This was why you were asking me about how else to fight them, weren’t you?” Sophie murmured, squeezing my shoulder. “It’s fine, you know. It’s rare that anybody can hold their own against a Kelpie, Faelan. You’re not expected to know what to do.”
“Hell, one of them tossed me halfway across the loch,” Kaia offered.
“One almost drowned me,” Shona added.
“Well, shite. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want you to think I was failing you so soon into joining the Order.”
“It’s okay.” I looked down as Orla came over and squeezed my hand, looking up at me with sympathy on her face. “I get why you didn’t say anything. When you’re so used to hiding, it’s scary to open up, isn’t it?”
“Aye.” Warmth filled me. I appreciated their easy understanding and acceptance of me.
“I don’t know.” Willow bit her lower lip, worry in her eyes. “I’ve never had a vision about the past, Faelan. It’s always about the future. This felt … I don’t know. Close. Soon. It’s not great.”
“Is that a wolf or a dog?” Sophie studied the drawing.
“Wolf,” Willow and I spoke at the same time.
“That’s so strange. We haven’t had wolves here in hundreds of years,” Shona murmured.
“This calls for more champagne,” Lia said and crossed the room and opened the door. Just as she stepped through the door, the huge ghost coo leapt through the wall.
We all screamed, but none so loud as Lia, who threw her hands up and crossed her legs.
“Damn it, Clyde!” Lia shrieked, and then bounced around, her legs crossed, trying desperately hard not to laugh.
“Oh no, did he do it again?” Sophie asked.
“Do what again?”
“One time! One time he made me pee my pants,” Lia said, giggling. “Though I’m not going to lie … maybe just a little bit this time?”
“Ewwww.” We all laughed as Lia turned tail and ran down the hallway, cursing Clyde the entire time.