Chapter 19
Victoria
Merrill comes into the store while I’m ringing up a customer. Her eyes glitter with excitement and anticipation.
“Every. Detail.” She drums her fingers on the counter.
“I’m working,” I protest, but I’m laughing.
“We’re officially back together. Exclusive. Making plans.”
Her eyes widen with disbelief. “One roll in the hay and he’s going to wife you up?”
“I don’t know, but we’re certainly working toward being together.”
“You are together, aren’t you?”
“Like, living together. I think.” I guess we didn’t discuss those details but what else could he be talking about? We’re definitely going to talk some more but we were all over each other last night so I was distracted.
“Has he said he loves you?”
“Not yet. It’s been like ten minutes!” I protest, shaking my head.
“Be careful, Vic. You know what happened last time.”
“Oh, not you too!” I say in annoyance. “Geez. Can’t anyone be happy for me?”
“Who else have you told?”
“No one,” I mumble, “But this is why!”
She cocks her head. “The truth is, you’ve compared every guy you’ve met to him and no one ever came close. Even if you’re making a mistake, it’s one you have to make because you’ll never get over him if you don’t.”
“I don’t want to get over him—I love him.” It feels weird to say it out loud, but it’s also the truth. My truth. Whether or not he returns my feelings is somewhat irrelevant because I feel the way I feel.
“The question is whether he loves you too.”
“I think he does. Why else are we doing this?” I narrow my gaze at her. “Don’t you dare say sex.”
“It crossed my mind this might have been some kind of revenge fuck,” she admits. “Where he wants to hurt you for hurting him back then.”
“By getting me to sleep with him? How does that hurt me? I mean, yes, if he ghosts me now, that would suck, but I’m not so invested I’ll die or whatever.”
“I just don’t want him to use you.”
“He’s not.” I say it with confidence even though a tiny part of me can’t help but worry. Jordan has too much going on in his life to want revenge for something that genuinely wasn’t my fault. I hold some of the blame for not standing up to my father, but most of what happened was bad luck and—
“Hey, babe.” His voice makes goosebumps break out on my skin, and I look up in surprise.
“Jordan! What are you doing here?”
“I brought you dinner.” He holds up a bag from Cicero’s. “Garlic knots for the win.”
I laugh. “Thanks. Hey, this is my friend Merrill. Merrill, this is Jordan.”
“Well, hi.” She smiles in delight, offering her hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
He just laughs. “Hopefully, most of it is good.”
“So far.” She cocks her head. “As long as you don’t plan to do anything to change that, we’re good.”
“No plans to do anything different than what I’m doing.” He looks to me. “Can you take a little break?”
“Uh, yeah. Let me put Jenny on the register and we can eat in the back. I’ll see you later, Merrill.”
“Bye!” She waves as she walks out of the store.
It takes a few minutes for Jenny to take over and then Jordan and I walk into the back. There’s a cramped area with a desk and filing cabinet that we call my “office” even though it’s just a little corner of the stock room.
“This was really thoughtful,” I say.”
“Well, I had some time so I figured I’d come by and feed you.”
“That was sweet.” I move a bunch of papers to make room for our food and he opens the containers of chicken parm and fettuccine alfredo.
“You want to come to the game tomorrow night?”
“I’d like that.” I glance at him curiously. “What does that mean, exactly, though?”
“It means you’ll sit in the seat I buy you and then meet me in the family lounge.
I’ll introduce you as Victoria. People can put two and two together or not, but I don’t owe anyone explanations about my personal life.
The guys who care about me will ask me questions in private, and the ladies will be nice, regardless. At least, initially.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Are you comfortable with that?”
“I am. Or, I will be by tomorrow night.”
He reaches out to put his hand on my thigh. “It’s going to be okay. Promise. Chloe is going to be there, and I already talked to her about introducing you to people.”
“Okay.”
“You can sit with her at the game; she’ll introduce you to Juliet—it’ll be fine. I promise.”
I don’t think he can promise something like that, but I have to trust him. It’s the next step for us if we’re going to be together, so all I can do is push past my discomfort and tell myself he’s worth it.
Because he is.
* * *
I go to the game alone because I’m too nervous to bring Merrill or Ivy, even though Jordan offered to get me another ticket. For now, it’s easier to navigate this new era on my own. I have to make friends with these women if I’m going to be with him, and the first step is sitting through the game.
Instead of going down to the ice during warm-ups, I buy an overpriced glass of wine and then find my seat. The section is pretty empty and I figure most of the wives and girlfriends won’t come until closer to the puck drop, and I’ve given myself a little time to settle in.
Luckily, Chloe is one of the first to arrive. She’s with a beautiful brunette who’s heavily pregnant. That’s probably her friend Juliet, and Chloe doesn’t hesitate to introduce us.
“This is Juliet Elliott.”
“Hi. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.” She rubs her stomach. “But don’t mind me if I spend the whole night eating.”
“You’re eating for two, you’re allowed.”
We all laugh.
Juliet grins. “So. You and Jordan. I want to hear everything.”
I flush. “Yeah, it’s been…well, a whirlwind.” I don’t harbor any illusions that Chloe hasn’t told her exactly who I am to him. “We’re trying to figure things out without things going crazy.”
“It’ll be okay,” Juliet says softly. “Just give yourself, and everyone else, a little time to see who you are together.”
“Will people give us a chance?” I ask. “I’m sure Coach Petrov won’t be thrilled.”
“Initially, probably not. But he’ll come around. He’s nothing if not fair. You’ll see. And most of the wives and girlfriends weren’t around back when everything happened. So they have no reason to think anything.”
“Thank you for saying that.” I look around as a group of women and children arrive.
“Auntie Juliet, when is the baby coming?” a girl who looks like a pre-teen says.
Juliet smiles. “Soon, I hope.”
“That’s Naomi,” Chloe says. “Wolf and Scarlett adopted her.”
There are a lot of names and faces to remember, and as promised, everyone is sweet and friendly, if not openly curious. I see a couple of ladies whispering but Chloe squeezes my knee and whispers, “they’re more shocked that Jordan has a serious girlfriend than anything else. It’s fine. Breathe.”
Easier said than done but I’m okay.
“Don’t worry about remembering everyone’s names,” Chloe says in my ear. “No one expects you to memorize them in one night.”
“The women I can remember, it’s the kids that are all starting to blur together.”
She laughs. “So many kids. I get them mixed up too and I’ve been here almost since day one.”
“What happens in the lounge? Is it just chaos?”
“Pretty much. Everyone is waiting for their husband or boyfriend. Kids running around. Sometimes plans are being made to go out to eat. Probably not tonight, though, since they’re leaving on a road trip tomorrow.”
I sigh. I’m not looking forward to him being gone again but I’m going to have to get used to it. If we’re going to be together, and I want that more than anything, this is going to be my life going forward.
It’s just a matter of figuring out how I fit in—both with him and with the organization.