Chapter 39
Victoria
I’m pregnant.
Jordan and I are having a baby.
Again.
Fear and excitement and worry shoot through me at different times over the course of the day.
I’m probably more pensive than I normally would be, though I do my best to be present as we explore Manhattan.
The company is wonderful, Jordan is always touching me—whether it’s holding my hand or putting an arm around me—and I’m honestly having a wonderful day.
Yet in the back of my mind, the idea that there’s a little life growing inside me is ever present.
My parents will undoubtedly lose their minds.
Ivy will be disappointed because I know she likes having the only grandchild.
Jordan is really happy, though. That’s both surprising and curious. Kids were nowhere on my radar other than a future fantasy that had no timetable. Yet here we are again. Almost like we’re picking up exactly where we left off.
“You okay?” Chloe asks me as we wander through a souvenir shop in Times Square.
“I have to tell you a secret,” I say, turning to her. “Promise it’s just between us for a few days. Please?”
“Of course.” Her face is serious. “You can tell me anything. What’s going on?”
“I’m…pregnant.”
“Oh wow.” She looks surprised but not unhappy. “Have you told Jordan?”
I nod. “We went to an urgent care this morning and found out together.”
“And?”
“He’s ecstatic.”
“But you’re not.”
“I’m supposed to graduate and get a job, start my career. Go house-hunting. Maybe get engaged and plan a wedding… this wasn’t… I’m scared.”
“It’s okay.” She squeezes my arm. “It’s normal to be scared.
But here’s the thing—you can still do all of those things.
It just depends on how and when. You might have to delay getting a job until the baby comes.
It’s not like you guys won’t be able to afford daycare.
But you can still look for a house, get engaged, even get married if that’s what you want.
You don’t have to give up anything, just adjust your timing and your expectations a little. ”
“I don’t know what I want. That’s why we didn’t talk about things too much this morning. I wanted to come be with you guys and have fun for a day, without overthinking everything.”
“Which is a reasonable thing to do.”
“Ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away.”
“Do you want it to go away?”
“No. Not even a little.”
“So, that’s your answer.”
“Why do you make it sound so easy?”
“Because babies happen. Hana’s pregnancy was not only unplanned, it was a miracle.
Aiden had a vasectomy before they met. Yet the tubes grew back and here we are.
Claudia got pregnant like six weeks after meeting Anders—and it’s been the best thing ever.
As long as you’re both on board, this is going to be a good thing. You’ll see.”
I glance outside to where the guys are standing on the street talking while we ladies shop, and I smile.
“He loves me,” I say, though I’m not sure if I’m talking to her or to myself.
“Yes, he does.” She nudges me. “And you’re going to have such pretty babies.”
A giggle escapes me. “We really are.”
“Who’s going to have pretty babies?” Hana looks from me to Chloe, narrowing her eyes. “I thought you weren’t ready yet?”
“I’m not,” Chloe says with a laugh.
“Oh.” Hana turns to me. “Are you—”
“No one knows yet,” I interrupt hurriedly. “We just found out this morning. I’m not ready to make an announcement. Besides, I’ve had a miscarriage, so I want to wait until I’m at least twelve weeks before I say anything.”
“I didn’t know you’d lost a baby,” Hana says softly, touching my arm. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago, but I need to get comfortable with this before we make any announcements. Not to mention, my parents won’t be thrilled.”
“It’ll be okay,” Chloe says firmly. “I have faith in Jordan. He’s going to fix things. Just wait.”
I really hope she’s right.
* * *
The rest of the trip is incredible. I’m still stressed about the pregnancy, but Jordan is wonderful, attentive, and sweet, and Chloe and Hana keep my mind off of it.
I get to see the Statue of Liberty, a show on Broadway, the Empire State Building, and the 9/11 Memorial.
We also have our spa day and I do more shopping than I’ve ever done in my life.
Jordan gave me a wad of cash and told me he was breaking up with me if I didn’t spend it.
He was kidding, of course, but it feels strangely exhilarating to be able to buy things I want without worrying about if I could spare the money.
It’s a heady feeling to be with a man who gives so generously—emotionally, physically, and even financially.
I’m proud that I work and pay my bills for the most part, so this is new to me.
Other than putting a roof over my head, I can’t remember the last time my parents gave me money just for fun.
Not even on my birthday or Christmas. Those gifts are always something I need.
My New York bubble is about to burst, though, because we’re heading home and I’m going to have to face my parents.
Jordan wants me to wait for him to get home and talk to them together—Chloe said I could stay with her until the guys get back—but I need clean clothes and I don’t have my school stuff or laptop with me.
Besides, I want to face the music.
I’m not telling them about the baby, but there is something that they won’t be able to miss—the engagement ring on my finger.
We went shopping and the diamond Jordan bought me is exquisite.
He gave me the option of just getting engaged or waiting for him to plan an elaborate proposal, but at this stage of the game, I didn’t see the point in waiting.
I’m pregnant.
I’m waffling on whether or not we get married right away, though. My parents will certainly prefer it, but I’m not going to do it for them. I want the big wedding with all the bells and whistles. Maybe that’s selfish, but I’ve never allowed myself to be selfish and this time, I think I want to.
Why can’t we wait until the baby comes and I’ve had time to get back into shape? According to the doctor, I’m due in December, so if we plan an August wedding next year, I’ll have eight months or so to get back to where I want to be. Maybe that’s not realistic but I’m going to do my best.
Jordan said it was up to me, getting married now or later, so I’m still considering my options but I’m leaning toward waiting.
I’m nervous about going home, though. I’m sure my mom is going to have a lot to say about me leaving without “permission.”
By the time I walk into the house, I’m a wreck. Charlie is excited to see me, though, and runs over to me happily.
“Auntie!” he says, wrapping chubby arms around my legs. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, baby.” I lift him into my arms and spin him around, making him giggle.
“Well, look who’s home. The world traveler.” My mother comes in, her lips in a thin line of disapproval.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Did you have fun?” she asks, almost as if she expects me to say no.
“I had a great time. I got to go to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The Empire State Building. And the 9/11 Memorial.” I pause. “It made me cry.”
Her face softens. “I imagine it did.”
“The Macy’s in Herald Square is unbelievable. Like ten floors or something. I could get lost in there and never come out.”
She manages a small smile. “I’ve always wondered if it was as grand as people say.”
“It is.” I put Charlie down, and as I do, she spots the ring on my left hand.
“What is that?” she asks in a hushed whisper.
I smile. “Jordan proposed, and I said yes.”
Her eyes widen. “Is that a real diamond?”
I frown. “Of course. Three carats.”
“Seriously?” She comes over and takes my hand, staring at it. “He bought you a diamond?”
“Mom, he loves me. I know you and Dad don’t particularly like him, but I love him and he loves me. He treats me well. He takes care of me. Can’t you just give him a chance? For me?”
She sighs, still holding onto my hand. “It’s beautiful. But your father won’t be happy that he didn’t ask him first.”
“It’s not the 1800s anymore,” I say gently. “He asked me. Because I’m the one who’s going to marry him. We’re hoping he can come over for dinner this weekend to celebrate.”
“You know how stubborn your father can be.”
“I’m not asking for permission,” I say quietly. “Jordan and I are engaged and we’re going to start house-hunting soon. I’d love your support but I don’t need it.”
“You were always independent,” she says after a moment. “Sometimes too independent. And now you’re going to leave us for some rich guy who’s going to break your heart.”
“Why, Mom? Why is he going to break my heart? I mean, maybe he will, but something like fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Aunt Carol’s husband was a nerdy finance guy, and he cheated on her.
Your friend Brenda was married to this short, bald teacher for twenty years, and he left her for one of his students.
It happens. Can’t you just be happy for me? ”
She looks up and gently releases my hand. “I can try.”
I guess that’s all I can ask for.