10. Ten - Ahmad
Ten - Ahmad
“ I t’s going to be okay. We’re going to come back every day.”
I had to coax Jameela into getting into the car to leave the hospital.
It had already taken more than an hour to get her out of her hospital room.
Hell, I was surprised she allowed me to take her home, honestly.
But I could see that every time she talked about her friend, Kennedy, she felt like she was being a burden.
So, she allowed me to take care of her. Not that I minded at all, because honestly, I wanted to do so anyway.
“What if something happens when I leave?” She sat in the wheelchair and refused to get up.
Her defiance reminded me of a small child, and if this was what I was in for, I was going to have a hard time with Ahmir and Jameela both.
Not that I knew in what capacity I would be in either of their lives.
However, in the past five days that she’s been in the hospital, we bonded a little over praying for our child and making sure he got the best care.
“MiMi,” I said, becoming so comfortable calling her the name she gave me during our night of passion, “Daran is one of my closest friends. He’s the head of pediatrics…
he is going to make sure Ahmir is good. Also, I do work at the hospital, so I can have his chart at my fingertips. Come on, Jameela, get in the car.”
She paused at hearing her real name fall from my lips. I don’t think I called her Jameela, much during this wild rollercoaster that has become our life.
Whatever she saw in my eyes… not that I was threatening or anything–just a little more authoritative than usual–Jameela allowed me to assist her out of the wheelchair and into my Audi Q7. I cringed knowing that her incision was probably irritated with climbing into the truck.
“Ahmad,” she whispered, “I’m scared. I don’t want to miss anything with Ahmir.”
“Aww, baby,” I fingered her tight curls, not sure why I called her baby, but it just felt right in the moment. “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”
Jameela leaned into my hand, and the silence that lingered between us was very comforting, almost too comforting.
I finally spoke, breaking the silence.
“Let’s get you home before your pain meds wear off.”
“Thank you so much… for everything. I really didn’t want to be a burden to Kennedy and Andreas now that they can enjoy being a married couple out loud. But now that I say it like that, I feel like I’m being a burden to you. Shit… this is all just… a mess!”
As I pulled out into traffic, I immediately stopped her rant.
“MiMi, you are not a burden. I would love the opportunity to help take care of you and Ahmir. I want nothing more than to make up for the time I missed during your pregnancy.”
I had no damn idea what I was doing, but I did know that I couldn't turn my back on my child, no matter the circumstances.
Did I know what that meant for us? Hell no! But I was willing to be present as we figured it out.
At forty-five, I thought I was past the idea of having kids. However, in just a short five days, a part of my heart filled to capacity that I didn’t even realize was empty.