24. Hannah
24
HANNAH
I had no idea how long Zack had been standing there before I noticed him, but it was long enough for that genial mask he always wore to slip from his face. When I spun away from the bookshelf with a book in my hands and found him watching me with dark intensity, I startled us both.
“Zack! Geez, you scared me.”
He blinked a few times, then sauntered closer with is familiar easy grin. “Sorry about that. Having a good time, duchess?”
“Very much so.” I hugged the book to my chest as I looked around the cozy library. It was my favorite spot on the ranch.
Zack looked around, too. “Jeremiah built this for you?”
“Not exactly. Mercy River Ranch didn’t start taking guests until after I left for college. Before that, this room was empty. Then they renovated the ranch to make this the main lodge, a place where guests could come and hang out when they didn’t want to be alone in their cabins or out hiking, hunting, or fishing. At first, the only thing in here was one bookshelf, a chair, and a pool table. After a while, Jay noticed that even guests who claimed they didn’t like to read would eventually find their way to the library and curl up with a book. So, he started frequenting the used bookstore in town, getting a little something of everything.”
“There must be a thousand books here,” Zack noted.
I nodded. “He’s been at it a couple years now. He built all these shelves, too. The ladder was my idea. I told him if he was going to build a library, it needed to rival Belle’s in Beauty and the Beast .”
“So you could live out your Disney princess fantasy?” The warmth in his tone, the way he smiled…he wasn’t making fun of me. He said it like this was something he liked about me.
“Exactly.”
His large hands spanned my waist as he picked me up and set me down on the ladder with a laugh. “All right, duchess. Let’s take you to your favorite book.”
I did not even try to stop the wide grin that spread across my face. I did, however, manage to check the girlish sigh that would have informed him my underwear had melted clean off my body.
“Left three shelves, sir, if you please,” I commanded.
“As you wish, duchess.”
He kicked up the brake, set one foot on the lowest rung, bracketed me with his arms, and pushed off, sending us rolling across the bookshelves. And I?—
I squealed with delight. I did. I couldn’t help it.
“This one.” I pulled a slim novella from the shelf. “I have a lot of favorites depending on my mood and what I read recently but this one…This is my favorite favorite.”
He glanced at the cover. “Are all your favorites romance?”
“I read fairly widely, but yes. My favorites are romance.” I pushed up my glasses and braced for his response. I was used to people making fun of romance books. I’d heard it all. Mommy porn. Unrealistic. And the one that made me want to set things on fire: a harmless break from real literature .
“Why?” he asked, like he actually wanted to know.
My gaze dropped to the book in my hand. To the woman in her yellow ballgown on the cover. “Because she wins. Do you know how rare that is in books? In life? Women don’t win. But they do in romance books. She might have to overcome terrible things. She might even do terrible things. And still, she wins. She doesn’t have to die so a man can fulfill his hero’s journey. She doesn’t have to be punished for enjoying sex or stepping outside of the box society built for her to prove some morality point. In romance books, she doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love. In the end, she wins. No matter what.” I traced the folds and swirls of her ballgown with my finger. “It gives me hope.”
I lift my gaze to his face and found him watching me intently. With me on the ladder and him now on the floor, we’re the same height and I can look him straight in the eye. “It’s funny how people say the most important thing in life is love. Loving your family, your friends…that’s the best thing you can do. No one ever looked back on their life from their deathbed and thought, gee, should have spent less effort there . But the second a woman writes a book about it, it’s suddenly silly and meaningless.”
“It’s not silly.” His voice was rough. He touched my hand while I touched her dress. “It’s not silly at all.”
“Not all romance books have sex in them, but I think sex is part of the reason they’re not taken seriously. Women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex the way men do. But I think…I think sex like that…mind-blowing sex with someone who cares for you…I think that’s part of winning.”
He took the book from me. For a long moment, he said nothing while he stared down at it with an inscrutable expression. Then he set it aside—in the wrong place, but I fixed that—and looked at me.
“I want you to win, Hannah. You deserve the world. Everything you ever wanted. I want you to fucking win .”
I didn’t have a chance to ask what he meant by that because Zack leaned in and kissed me hard enough to send my head whipping back against the wooden ladder rung, but his hand got there first, cupping the curve of my skull with gentle tenderness.
“Mmph,” I said eloquently into his mouth.
He chuckled in response and it was so perfect that I wanted to laugh, too, because this . A wild cowboy kissing me senseless in a library? This was a fantasy I had never known to dream of.
His lips opened against mine and his tongue nudged into my mouth. I curled mine against his, loving the familiar taste of him. I let myself sink deeper into the kiss with a happy sigh and slid my hands to his shoulders, gripping the hard muscles there.
“Hannah,” he murmured as his hands skimmed the curves of my body down to my thighs. “You’re wearing a skirt again.”
“I keep a few things here so I don’t have to pack as much for visits. All of our clothes are in the washing machine. Except for what you’re wearing.”
“No more jeans for you.” He pushed his thigh between my legs and we both groaned. “Ever.”
My heart was pounding through my entire body, so hard I could feel it at my throat, my wrists, heck, even the soles of my feet. He kissed me again, his tongue dancing with mine, and I ran my hands down his torso and then ducked under the hem. For a moment I lost focus of what our mouths were doing as I traced every scar, counted every muscle. He laughed into my mouth and then pulled back, breaking the kiss to whip his shirt off over his head.
“Someone might walk in here at any second,” I protested, even as my eyes ate him up. It didn’t matter how many times I saw this man naked, I would never get tired of looking at him.
“Don’t move,” he instructed. He left me there on the ladder while he locked the door. “There,” he said, coming back to me. “Happy?”
“Yes,” I said. So happy .
“Good.” Then he dragged up handfuls of my skirt and pushed his hand between my thighs. I gasped as his fingers brushed over my damp underwear. “Already wet,” he rasped approvingly. He pushed his hand into my underwear and found my clit instantly.
God, it felt so good. My legs had gone shaky, so I wiggled my butt onto the closest rung and kissed him everywhere I could reach, his jaw, his neck, his lips, while I fumbled with his belt buckle, all the while his slick, clever fingers played my clit like it was a song he knew by heart. Finally, I got his jeans open and slid my fingers over the silky head of his cock. With a growl, he kissed me again, hard.
I wrapped my hand around the shaft and squeezed. He groaned into my mouth, and I squeezed again, loving the way he filled my hand. The heavy length of him. He pushed his dick into my fist, and I took the hint and stroked him up and down. When he leaked precum, I rubbed it over the crown and down the shaft.
He broke the kiss on a gasp. “Fuck. Oh, fuck. Hannah.” He ducked his head, pressing his forehead to mine. “I don’t have condoms on me.”
“Are you…Can we…” I swallowed. “I was tested at my annual checkup. I’m safe and on the pill.”
He stopped breathing.
“Zack?” I asked.
“Need a second to pull myself together, duchess.” A beat passed, and then another. He let out a shaky breath. “I’m tested and safe, too.”
“Inside me,” I said. “ Now .” I widened my legs.
One heartbeat, and his dick nudged at my entrance.
Another heartbeat, and he was fully inside me.
I exhaled hard and turned my head. Just feel. That’s all .
And then his fingers gripped my chin and forcibly turned my face back to his. My eyes blinked open and I looked straight into his fierce blue gaze.
“Eyes on me, Hannah. Only me. There’s no room in this pussy for anyone else, do you understand? I don’t share. Your demons can’t have you here. You’re mine .” He didn’t pull back, just thrust forward enough that our hips came flush with a little slap.
I stared at him, my mouth falling open.
And then he shifted ever so slightly and his pubic bone brushed my clit in the most exquisite, tortuous way. I made a sound, a soft, desperate sound. He did it again, watching me, a look of ruthless concentration on his face, and I made that sound again.
“There?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
I could only nod, my eyelids fluttering closed again.
“Don’t close your eyes, Hannah.” Desperation tinged his voice, like he was hanging on by a thread. “Stay with me.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him. Our bodies still flush together, he did it again, that short, shallow thrust that hits somewhere so deep I swore it found my soul. I wrapped my legs around his hips and dug my heels in. Again and again he did it, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me to him as he pushed even deeper inside me.
I kept my eyes open and it was Zack.
Zack’s breath mingling with my moans.
Zack’s sweat dropping onto my bare arms.
Zack’s cock touching those places deep inside.
Only Zack.
And I was safe.
Then I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, oh god, I couldn’t do anything but feel and hold on. I came on an explosion, sobbing and shouting, pulse after pulse of pleasure rocketing through me. I heard another shout, hoarse and deep.
Zack. It was Zack.
I opened my eyes. My glasses were fogged up, but for the first time, I felt like I was finally seeing clearly.
And what I saw was Zack.