Chapter 14 #3
Jasmine could remember being a little girl, maybe ten or eleven, and watching Dirty Dancing for the first time, wondering why anyone would dance like that with a guy, pressing sweaty bodies together to music that she didn’t really understand.
A few years later, she wondered whether she would ever dance with a boy like that.
And now here she was, with Paolo’s hand holding her loosely at the curve of her hip, the other trailing down her arm as she pushed back against him, feeling just how much he wanted her. It wasn’t scary or intimidating; it was hot and it made her feel powerful in a way she’d never felt before.
Just a few feet away, Teddy and Natalie were dancing as well, but she turned and faced Paolo, meeting his hazel eyes with her brown.
“Do you want to go?” he asked, his hands meeting at the small of her back.
She knew what he meant. Did she want to leave with him?
Go back to Alex’s house? Find the closest flat surface and lose themselves in each other?
Jasmine felt her throat tighten. She’d never done anything like that before, not really.
The closest she’d come was with Teddy a few months ago, and one kiss could hardly compare.
The embarrassing truth was that she was a twenty-year-old virgin. She opened her mouth, no idea what she was going to say, but then she felt someone tugging at her hand. Natalie was dragging her away from Paolo as the song ended.
“Come on, I need some air,” the younger girl said, pulling impatiently until Jasmine followed. But she looked back quickly, an apology in her eyes as Paolo was swallowed up by the crowd.
They stepped out into a small courtyard.
It was fenced in and mostly made of brick and wrought iron, with a few tables scattered around, probably used for outdoor eating during the day.
Jasmine breathed the fresh air deeply in through her nose and sat on one of the tables, letting her feet dangle.
Natalie stood a few feet away, looking up at the London night.
“It was a madhouse in there,” Natalie said, moving closer.
“It was definitely hot,” Jasmine agreed, though she really wasn’t talking about the temperature.
“I’m sorry I let Teddy steal me away. He can really dance, though!”
“It’s fine, I—” Jasmine was about to say that she considered Teddy nothing more than a friend, totally fair game, and that she was really happy dancing with Paolo, and that she actually preferred the simplicity of his interest to the full set of baggage that came along with Teddy.
But instead, Natalie cut off what would have been an impressive ramble with a short but shocking kiss to her lips.
Her mouth had been open just slightly, which Natalie took as an invitation to slip her tongue along Jasmine’s bottom lip and then briefly into her mouth before pulling away.
The shock passing quickly, Jasmine jumped off the table, putting some suddenly much-needed space between them. “What the hell was that?”
“A kiss,” Natalie said. “Are you okay?”
“Um, no, I don’t—why did you—I don’t… One-hundred-percent straight girl over here.”
“Are you sure? I’m usually pretty good at picking up the vibes. You were so friendly and sweet and then you played it so cool and that was super sexy. Then you asked me to this party tonight as your plus-one. I mean, I just assumed, I guess, but this isn’t a date?”
Jasmine set aside the idea that Natalie thought she was gay and tried to piece together the clues from the other girl’s perspective.
It all clicked into place easily enough and she groaned.
“I’m sorry, this is totally my fault. I didn’t realize how it would look if you were looking for…
and now I can see how you’d think… I’m sorry, I should have been more clear… ”
“That you’re not into girls?” Natalie finished for her.
“I mean,” Jasmine started, knowing the ramble was coming and powerless to stop it, “if I were, you’d probably be my type.” She gestured wildly toward her, long legs, lean muscle, pretty eyes. “But I’ve never…”
Natalie cringed and nodded. “Listen, it’s okay, I’m sorry if I misread things and I’m really, really sorry for kissing you without your consent. I genuinely thought you were interested and I just really like you and I thought… but if that’s not what you want, that’s cool. Are we okay?”
“We’re fine,” Jasmine reassured her, finding she meant it as she said it. “I mean, I’m kind of flattered, and oh God, Teddy’s going to be so disappointed.”
“I did notice that he was a little… interested?” Natalie said, laughing. “He’ll get over me quick enough. From what I’ve heard, he’s not picky.”
“No,” Jasmine agreed. “He’s not.”
With one notable exception.
Natalie sighed. “And to think, a few minutes ago I felt sorry for him, thinking he’d eventually realize you were into girls.”
Jasmine didn’t quite understand what she meant, but she really did not have the brainpower to interrogate that too closely right now. “Look, this doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the party, right? We can go dance some more.”
Wrinkling her nose, Natalie said, “Listen, I’m putting up a good front right now, but I’m actually kind of mortified, and I think I’m just going to head back to the hotel.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Have Dom call my dad, okay? They can schedule training time before the tournament starts.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Natalie disappeared inside, but Jasmine stayed where she was.
The day just kept getting more and more surreal.
And confusing. She just needed to be by herself for a few minutes to recover from the pulsing beat of the music and the intensity of Paolo’s attention and then Natalie’s kiss, a shock for sure, but sweet and soft and…
different, but not… not a bad different, just different.
God, her head was spinning.
Maybe it had all been too much for one day.
Maybe it was just time to call it a night.
She made her way back inside, and almost immediately Paolo found her. “You disappeared,” he said, frowning, not looking put out but definitely confused.
“I think… I think I just want to get out of here, if that’s okay?”
“Of course, I’ll get a car to take us.”
Jasmine felt her heart skip a beat in panic. Did he think that she was trying to pick up right where they left off ? That she was asking him to leave with her? “Oh, no, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. I think I’m just exhausted after everything today. I’m sorry.”
The excuse sounded so weak, even to her ears, but he must have heard the anxiety in her voice, in the rise in pitch, in the speed of her words.
His eyes softened, that heat from before replaced with a steady warmth and a little concern.
“Jasmine, relax. I want to go as well. I’ve had enough of this party, and we are going to the same place, no?
” He nodded to a man standing at the door and guided her toward the exit with a hand at her back.
“Hey, guys,” Teddy said from just behind them, jogging to catch up. “Mind if I catch a ride back with you?”
Paolo looked to Jasmine, but she just got into the taxi the valet had hailed for them.
She didn’t have the energy to deal with this.
Paolo followed and then finally Teddy piled in behind them.
Shifting beside her to make room, Paolo raised his arm and let it hang around her, his hand falling against her shoulder.
The ride was silent, but clearly somewhere during the trip, Teddy came to the conclusion that they hadn’t just been leaving at the same time but that they’d been leaving together.
His arms were crossed over his chest, and every thirty seconds or so, he’d try to look past Paolo and catch Jasmine’s eye.
She sat farther back in the seat, avoiding his gaze but bumping Paolo’s chest accidentally.
“Sorry,” she whispered, though not really feeling sorry for the unexpected contact.
“It is okay,” he said, but his hand released her shoulder and grasped the seat back instead.
The driver came to a halt at Alex’s house and Paolo reached forward to tip at the same time as Teddy.
“I’ve got it, man,” Teddy said. “I butted in on the ride. Only fair I pay.”
Paolo shrugged and pocketed the money. Jasmine got out on the street, ready to just call it a night, but Teddy intercepted her before she could reach the gate.
“Can we talk for a second?” he asked. Paolo raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded. With a shrug he retreated into the house, and the car pulled away, leaving them alone on the street.
“You like that guy?” Teddy asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.
“Yeah,” she said, “I think I do.”
It was one of the few things she was actually sure of right now. The rest of her life was a mess, but Paolo? He made sense.
“I don’t like him.”
“I don’t care if you don’t like him, Ted. What does it matter to you anyway?”
“Of course it matters. I’m your friend.”
“Are you? Because from where I’m standing, it doesn’t really seem like it. You totally checked out on me as soon as Amy showed up, and in case you missed it, I’ve been going through a ton of shit since then, and you’ve been completely MIA for all of it.”
“You seem like you’re doing just fine,” he shot back, eyes meeting hers, the bright green burning hot.
“Yeah, well, I’m tougher than I look.”
“I’m starting to see that.”
“Good.”
“So…”
“So, I’m going to bed.”
“Whose bed?” He practically growled the question, and part of her, the part that had been longing for that kind of response from him for years, reveled in it, but the rest of her? The rest of her was just flat-out enraged.
Jasmine swallowed back a shriek. She was going to her own bed to curl up and fall asleep, but that wasn’t the point. “None of your business,” she gritted out from between her teeth, hoping he’d just let it go.
He didn’t.
“Jas, guys like that…”
“Guys like what?” she snapped, her voice rising as she built momentum. “Guys who are interested in me, Ted? Guys who don’t just like me as a friend? Guys who might want me? You said it. You’re my friend. You’re not my brother or, God forbid, my boyfriend. You don’t get a say.”
“What if I want a say?” he asked, stepping a little closer.
She stepped back, keeping the distance between them. “You’re full of shit. You just want what you can’t have, and even if that weren’t why you’re throwing this tantrum, it’s too late.”
“Since when?”
“Since you decided it would be a good idea to sleep with Amy again. Since you asked Indy to keep it from me. Since you told me we were better off as friends. Take your pick. You can’t have it both ways, Teddy. It’s not fair.”
“I didn’t know she told you,” Teddy said, looking slightly flustered. “You didn’t say anything.”
“What was I supposed to say? That you’re an idiot for going back to her?
You are, but it’s not any of my business, right?
I’m not your girlfriend. I’m your friend.
You’ve made that perfectly clear, so me and Paolo or me and whoever, whatever we are, whoever I’m with, that’s none of your business either. ”
“Jas,” he said, running a hand over the back of his neck and focusing his eyes down at the concrete sidewalk. “You’re right.”
“I am?”
“You are. You’re right. I can’t just… I’m sorry.”
An apology. That was something, at least. She felt herself deflate, suddenly too tired to argue. “Okay,” she said, and moved toward the front gate. He didn’t follow. “Are you coming inside?”
“No, I’m going to take a walk around the block. Clear my head.”
“Oh, okay. Good night, Ted.”
“Good night, Jas.”
He spun on his heel and headed down the curving street, hands shoved in his pockets again, and Jasmine couldn’t help but feel like that good night had felt an awful lot like a goodbye.