Chapter Fifteen – Caden
Caden
“Hey,” I said, as I walked up to Ensley, who was shoeing one of the horses. “Working here today, huh?”
She glanced up and smiled. “Yeah. Emeline asked if I could help out with some things on this side of the ranch. Just getting the job part of my job over first.”
Nodding, I leaned against the wall as I watched my sister work.
Just like Emeline, Ensley seemed to sense what the horses were feeling.
When Ensley told our parents she wanted to be a farrier, no one was surprised.
From the time Ensley was old enough to walk, she was in the barn with my mother, grandmother, and the horses.
She was the animal lover in the family. The one who brought home every stray she found and rescued every wild animal.
“I’ve always wanted to ask you, why do you grab their tails?”
“They like it. Other horses in the herd will mess with each other’s tails. It’s like we’re buddies and this is a secret handshake.”
I smiled. “Cold forging still?”
“I can’t stand using a hot forge. Plus, the smoke smells like horse shit, so then I walk around smelling like that all the time.”
She made a horse noise as she got back to work.
“You speaking to her?”
Laughing, she said, “Why do you think they trust me so much? They think I’m a horse.”
“Would you ever see yourself doing something else?”
Ensley straightened and looked at me with a curious expression. “Never. I love my job. Why are you asking me all these questions?”
I shrugged. “We don’t talk much.”
Her brows drew down. “Caden…is everything okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
She motioned around her. “You’re asking questions like I’m a stranger.”
I sighed. “We used to be so close, Ensley. I told you everything, and you did the same. But I feel like for the last few years, I’ve pushed everyone away. I guess I’m just tired of doing that.”
Winking, she said, “You’re tired of being a grumpy asshole, you mean.”
“Something like that.”
She went back to work. “Can I be honest about something?”
“Always,” I said, as I bent and handed her the hammer.
After she pounded in a few nails, she looked up at me. “You’ve changed. In a good way. And I can’t help but notice that it was after Lilibeth spent a couple days trapped in that snowstorm with you.”
I couldn’t help the smirk on my face as she raised her brows.
“She’s part of the reason, yes. I think…after spending those days with her, she helped me move on from the hold that Rachel had over me.”
“That’s good.”
I nodded. “It is.”
“There’s nothing there between you guys?”
“Oh, there’s something between us. But we both decided it was best to walk away while we’re still friends.”
The sound of a horse riding up made me look over my shoulder…only to see the very object of our conversation.
“Speaking of,” Ensley mumbled with a slight laugh.
I watched as Lilibeth rode up and dismounted right outside the barn. She looked our way and waved.
“Hey, Lilibeth!” Ensley called out.
Marshall walked out and took the horse from her. She thanked him and started our way.
“How was the ride?” I asked, frowning as she grew closer. She looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes. And I’d swear she also looked like she’d lost weight over the last five days, since I’d seen her in Granby at the Greek restaurant.
“It was good. I needed the fresh air.”
“How’re you feeling?” Ensley asked.
Before Lilibeth could reply, I asked, “Are you still sick?”
“Stomach flu got me pretty good.” She cleared her throat and looked at Ensley, then me. “Caden, do you have a few minutes to talk?”
Clearly intrigued by what she wanted to talk about, I said, “Sure.”
“Emeline’s in her office, having a meeting. Is there somewhere else we can go?”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Ensley watching us. “If it’s privacy you want, you can use Mom’s office,” she suggested.
I looked at Lilibeth for an answer.
“That would be great. She wouldn’t mind?”
Motioning with my hand to head farther into the barn, I replied, “She won’t mind at all.”
“Thank you, Ensley.”
My sister smiled and gave her a nod. “Sure thing.”
As we walked through the barn, a few of the horses that were stabled poked their heads out in greeting.
Lilibeth made sure to stop for each one and give them a pat or a kiss.
A couple of times, she pulled out a peppermint to treat them.
Once we got to my mother’s office, I opened the door and motioned for her to enter.
I shut the door, then frowned as she started to pace in front of the desk.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, crossing over to sit on the edge of the desk.
Now Lilibeth was wringing her hands as she paced.
“Lilibeth?”
She jerked to a stop and stared at me. I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I started to stand up, but she held up a hand.
“No. Just stay there. I can’t do this if you… I just need a moment.”
Narrowing my eyes, I tried to imagine what could have her so worried. Or maybe she was upset? I couldn’t tell.
“Is everything okay with the store?”
She nodded, pacing again. “It’s doing great.”
“Your parents?”
“They’re fine.”
I let out a laugh. “Then what in the world is wrong?”
Stopping, she turned and looked at me. She swallowed hard, closed her eyes, and drew in a deep breath. When she slowly exhaled, she opened her eyes and met my gaze.
“Caden, I’m pregnant.”
It took me a few moments to let those three words register. I closed my eyes and shook my head as I let out a humorless laugh.
“I’m sorry…what did you say?”
She held up her hands in a defensive position. “I’m not asking you for anything. You can be as much a part of this as you want. I know you weren’t looking for any kind of commitment, and I also know a child is a huge commitment. I’m ready and willing to do this on my own if you want to walk away.”
Anger mixed with shock as I quickly stood. “You think I’m going to just walk away and leave you to deal with this on your own? What kind of man do you think I am, Lilibeth?”
“No!” she said, her hands dropping to her sides. “I know you wouldn’t do that, but I simply didn’t want you to feel trapped.”
“It takes two to make a baby, and I won’t walk away from you or our child.”
She instantly looked relieved.
“How long have you known?”
“I missed my period, which was due at the end of December, but I thought it was stress from having to move and trying to find a place to live. Then I started feeling sick, and after throwing up at the Greek restaurant last week, I thought I’d caught Dad’s stomach flu.
I went to the doctor a couple days ago, and they did a pregnancy test. Just in case, she said.
And it came back positive. She referred me to an OB, but I haven’t been yet.
I wanted to tell you first. It’s just taken me those couple of days to figure out how to tell you. ”
I walked over and took her hands in mine. I lifted them and kissed the back of both. “I’m not going anywhere, Lilibeth. I’ll be right here by your side the entire time.”
She smiled, then it faded. “I know throwing a baby into the mix complicates things, but I also know you’re not looking for anything, and I don’t expect that to change.”
I drew her to me and hugged her. She practically melted into my body. Now I got why she looked so damn tired and stressed. “Have you told your parents?”
Shaking her head, she answered no, her voice muffled. I eased her back and looked at her.
“I wanted to tell you first, then go to the OB to make sure everything’s okay before I tell anyone else.”
“Do you have an appointment set up? I’d like to go with you.”
Nodding, she said, “Tomorrow, at nine in the morning. I hope that works out okay. Since I’m telling you so last-minute.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Do you want me to pick you up?”
She chewed on her lip, and I reached up, pulling it free. I wanted more than anything to kiss her, but I knew that was the last thing either of us needed right now. Though honestly, I was a bit surprised by how calm I was. I suspected the moment I was alone, I would freak the fuck out.
“If you want. I’m now living in my parents’ garage apartment.”
The idea popped into my head, and before I could stop myself, I said, “You should move in with me.”
Lilibeth blinked a few times—then laughed.
When I didn’t say anything, she quickly sobered. “Wait, are you serious right now?”
“Of course I’m serious. You can’t have a baby in a garage apartment, and you’ll need help once the baby’s born. I have a huge house with plenty of bedrooms. You can have the master bedroom if you want, and I’ll move upstairs.”
“I am not taking your bedroom, because I’m not moving in.”
“Do you have room for all the things you’ll need for the baby? I mean, I’ve never had a kid before, but I’ve been to a few baby showers, and there sure is a lot of shit.”
She started to wring her hands again. “I mean, it might be cramped at first, but maybe I can find another house to rent.”
“Lilibeth, it only makes sense that you move in with me. At least until after the baby’s born and we can figure things out. Maybe by then, we can find a decent rental, or even buy you a house.”
Shaking her head, she frowned. “I can’t afford to buy a house. Every dime I had saved went into the store, and now I have a baby to think about, and all the costs that will come with it, and I…I can’t buy a house.”
I was about to reply when she lifted a hand.
“You’re not buying me a house, Caden. If that was what you were going to suggest.”
“I wasn’t going to suggest that.” It was a lie. I was absolutely going to suggest it. I wasn’t sure how I’d afford it, but I would have figured it out.
Lilibeth started pacing once again, then she stopped, spun around, and looked at me. “What about Emeline’s old place? I could maybe move in and rent it from her or your parents or whoever owns it.”
“I’m not comfortable with you being there all alone.”
“Why not?” she asked.
It was a good fucking question, and one I didn’t have an answer to.
I should want her living anywhere other than my house.
Lord knows it would be hard as hell to sleep with Lilibeth under my roof every night and not touch her.
But something deep inside wanted her with me. This woman was going to have my baby.
Holy shit. My baby.
“I don’t want to miss out on things.”
It was the first thing that came to mind—and I realized it was true.
“What do you mean?”
I held my hands out, beseeching. “If you’re staying with me, we can set up the baby’s room together, and when the baby kicks for the first time, I’ll hopefully be there to feel it. If you’re living somewhere else…I won’t get to experience any of that.”
Her head tilted. “You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would. I totally freaked out when the doctor told me I was pregnant.”
Laughing, I pushed a hand through my hair. “Don’t worry. I’ll freak out the moment I’m alone. Right now, I’m…I’m not really sure what I am. Shocked?”
Her tongue swept over her lips. “I don’t know about us living together, Caden.”
I held up both hands. “I promise you, nothing will happen. Friends only.”
With a nod so slight, I would have missed it if I hadn’t been staring at her so hard, she said, “Okay.”
Bending down to look into her eyes, I smiled. “Okay, you’ll move in?”
“If you promise it won’t make things weird. I do think it would be nice to have you there with me for whatever happens. But…God, I don’t know…I’m still trying to process this myself. Maybe we should take a step back and think about all of this.”
I took her hand and drew her to me. Cupping her face, I looked into her beautiful hazel eyes. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. “We used a condom every time. How did this happen?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. “I don’t think any of them broke, but I have to be honest, I wasn’t paying attention when I removed them.”
She exhaled. “Thank you, Caden.”
“For what?” I asked with a laugh.
“For not freaking out on me, or blaming me, or…” Her words faded away.
“We’re in this together from now on.”
She smiled, and for a moment, it nearly took my breath away.
“Holy shit, Caden. We’re going to have a baby. A baby.”
I exhaled. “A baby.”
“It figures. I wait almost thirty years to have sex and I get knocked up the first damn time.”
I threw my head back and let out a roar of laughter. There was one thing I was sure of: this was going to be one hell of an experience.
When my laughter faded away, Lilibeth’s expression turned serious. I could see she was scared. “What do we do now?”
“We take one day at a time. First thing, go to the doctor tomorrow. Then let’s plan on getting you moved into my place.”
She bit down on her lower lip and nodded. “You’re really sure about me moving in?”
“I’m sure.”
A single tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek. “I’m scared, Caden.”
Drawing her to me, I held her tightly. Kissing her head, I closed my eyes and said, “I’m scared, too, Lili.”
Scared wasn’t the right word. I was fucking terrified.