Chapter Twenty-Three – Caden
Caden
I watched as Lilibeth turned and walked away. I waited for a heartbeat before I started to follow her. When I heard her shut the door to her room, I paused on the steps. It wouldn’t do me any good to talk to her now. She was angry, and she had every right to be.
Instead, I turned and headed down the steps, grabbed my coat, and left.
I had every intention of driving into Granby, getting drunk, and getting lost in a meaningless fuck. But when I got to the end of my road, instead of turning left to leave for the city, I went right. I soon found myself parked outside my parents’ house.
I turned off the engine and got out, walked up to the door, and rang the doorbell. My father answered only moments later.
“Caden? What are you doing here?”
“Are you guys busy?”
He held the door open and motioned for me to come in. “Never too busy to visit with one of our kids.”
I took off my jacket and hung it up before making my way into the living room. My mother was on the sofa, curled up under a blanket with a book in her hands. She smiled when she saw me and tried to rise.
“Don’t get up, Mom.” Making my way over to her, I kissed her on the cheek.
“What brings you over tonight?” Dad asked.
My mother gave me a knowing smile. “Lilibeth stopped by earlier today to ask if I’d had something to do with Janet not mentioning the pregnancy earlier. I told her I had no part in it.”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Yeah, she told me. And I told her about the deal I worked out with Janet.”
Mom closed her eyes, then looked at me. “I assume she was upset.”
“Yes…but not as upset as when I accidentally called her Rachel.”
Dad pulled a face. “Ouch. I don’t imagine that felt good for Lilibeth.”
“You called her Rachel? Caden Flint Wilde…why?”
“She asked if I was avoiding her, and it made me think of Rachel, complaining about how much I worked and how she never got to see me.”
“And are you avoiding her?” Dad asked.
“Truthfully? Yes, I’ve been avoiding her.”
My mother tossed the blanket away and swung her feet off the sofa. “Why are you avoiding her? It sort of defeats the whole reason she moved in so you could be around to experience the pregnancy with her and be there for her.”
I scrubbed my hands down my face and groaned. “I don’t know.”
“You do know, Caden. You just can’t admit it to yourself,” my father retorted.
I dropped my hands to my sides and exhaled a long breath. “She scares me.”
My father laughed, while my mother frowned.
“She. Scares. You?”
Standing, I started to pace. “Yes, Mom! She scares me. Every time I see her, something happens in here,” I said, as I placed a hand over my heart.
“Sometimes I’ll walk into a room, and she doesn’t know I’m there, and I’ll just watch her.
I can’t take my eyes off of her. I’m drowning in these feelings that I’ve hidden away deep inside, and I don’t know how to release them. To let them come up to the surface.”
Mom moved to the coffee table and sat down. When I stopped in front of her, she took my hands in hers. “Caden, do you love her?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I care about her. I care about her very much, and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt her.”
“Do you know why you went to Janet to talk to her about Lilibeth and the baby?” my father asked.
“I didn’t want her to upset Lilibeth. She was already so stressed with moving in and all the changes.”
My father shook his head. “It wasn’t simply because you didn’t want her to get hurt by gossip.
You did it because you love her, Caden. Love isn’t always black and white.
Love makes us want to protect those we’ve given our hearts to, regardless of whether we know it or not.
Love melts the defenses you’ve put up and gives you the strength to try again.
It can talk us down from ledges we’ve put ourselves on and give us the courage to keep moving forward no matter how scared we are. ”
I blinked as I stared at my father.
My mother glanced at him and said, “Oh my God, Ladd Wilde, when did you start writing for Hallmark Cards?”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. The moment had been so serious, and I was grateful to my mother for lifting the mood.
My father wore a serious expression as he replied, “I can be deep, Viv.”
“I see that,” she said, before focusing her attention back on me. “Caden, let me ask you something, and I want you to really think about this before you answer. When you close your eyes and picture your life in ten years, what do you see?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea what I see.”
She scowled. “That’s because you haven’t closed your eyes yet and tried.”
I chuckled. “Okay.” Closing my eyes, I drew in a breath and slowly exhaled.
“It’s ten years into the future, and you’re sitting on the front porch of your house. What do you see?”
An image slowly started to appear in my mind. It was more of a movie than a picture.
“Kids playing in the front yard with a dog.”
“Your kids?” she asked.
Smiling, I nodded.
“What else do you see? Look around you, who or what else is there?”
In my little movie, I turned my head to the right and saw Lilibeth sitting in the other rocking chair, smiling as she rested her hands on her swollen belly. When she turned to look at me, I was overcome with a sense of pure love and happiness.
My eyes jerked open.
Mom was looking at me, a smile on her face. “Did you get spooked?”
“Oh, he got spooked, all right!” my father added with a chuckle.
“You saw Lilibeth,” she said.
“What is this fucking witchcraft you’re doing on me, Mom?”
Her brows rose. “Language, Caden Wilde. You may be thirty-two, but I can still wash your mouth out with soap.”
It was my turn to raise my brows. “You’re going to wash my mouth out with soap, Mom?”
She rolled her eyes. “What did you see?”
“Lilibeth, sitting next to me. She was smiling. And she was pregnant.”
My mother clapped her hands. “Oh! I’m going to have so many grandbabies running around this ranch! I can see it now!”
“Mom…”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! And it’s not witchcraft, Caden. What you need to do is get out of your head and start listening to your heart.”
“May I make a suggestion?” my father asked.
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
“Why don’t you ask Lilibeth out on a date?”
My mother beamed at him. “That’s a wonderful idea, Ladd.”
“A date?” I asked, my eyes bouncing between the two of them. I knew I was looking at them like they were crazy. The woman was already pregnant.
“Yes. It’s clear you both have very strong feelings for one another. If you’re not ready to dive in and admit how you feel yet, why don’t you do it the old-fashioned way? Start dating.”
“She’s having my baby, Mom, and you want me to date her?”
She nodded. “That’s exactly what we want you to do.”
When I looked at my father, he nodded. “Trust us on this one.”
I thought about it for a moment. Then hesitantly asked, “What should the first date be?”
My parents exchanged a look, and something silent passed between them.
They both smiled, and my father reached for my mother’s hand.
It was so evident how much the two of them loved one another.
I wasn’t sure why I was so afraid to love again, but seeing all the love around me, my parents, grandparents, sister… I realized I was being a huge coward.
“Did I ever tell you kids that your father asked me to marry him on our very first date?”
I laughed. “You did?”
He nodded. “I knew the moment I first laid eyes on your mother that she was my forever.”
I thought about the first time I ever saw Lilibeth.
She wore two braided pigtails with flowers wound into her hair.
Her beautiful hazel eyes sparkled with joy as she smiled at me, and the way it felt like I couldn’t breathe was something I wasn’t used to.
I think a part of me knew in that moment that she was special.
“Something tells me the look on your face says maybe you felt something the first time you saw Lilibeth?” Mom asked.
I nodded. “I did feel something, and at the time I tried like hell to ignore it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before…not even with Rachel. Maybe that’s why I’m struggling so much.”
“Rachel was familiar, Caden. She was a comfortable place for you to be. Love isn’t comfortable. It’s messy and beautiful. It’s complicated and easy at the same time. Love takes work, no matter how long you’ve been with someone.”
I knew my mother was right. Smiling, I asked, “So no asking her to marry me on the first date?”
They both laughed.
“I think you should take her out to dinner. Let everyone in town see the two of you together.”
An idea hit me in that moment.
“Dad…do you think you could talk to Mitch about renting out the theater?”
Mitch Larson co-owned the sporting goods store with my father. He also owned half of the buildings in River Falls, including the local theater.
“You’ve got an idea blooming?” my mother asked.
Nodding, I replied, “I do, indeed.”
“I’ll call him right now.”
After telling my father what I wanted, he called Mitch, who told me I didn’t have to pay for the theater; I could use it for free.
“Do you have to rush off?” my mother asked, as she walked into the living room with three bowls of popcorn.
As much as I wanted to get back to the house and talk to Lilibeth, I settled on the sofa next to my mother, letting her curl up next to me, and we watched a movie.
It was moments like this that I longed to be that little boy who used to crawl onto her lap and let her hold me while she watched her favorite films. The feel of her head resting on my shoulder was just as beautiful though.
The smell of bacon caused me to open my eyes and sit up quickly. I looked around, confused by where I was for a moment, then realized I’d fallen asleep on my parents’ sofa.
I stood and looked for my phone. When I couldn’t find it, I made my way to the kitchen.