Chapter Five – Colt #2
She came to a stop and faced me. “No, I don’t.
Because you never did. Not once, Colt. That first year you were gone, I waited for you.
I asked your mother and father about you, and hearing that you were traveling to all these places, simply enjoying your life—without me—finally helped me understand that you never cared about me at all. ”
“That’s not true.”
“It is true!” she cried. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me.
I didn’t even get a goodbye, Colt. Just a stupid note about some stupid promise that you never kept!
You made me feel like I meant nothing to you.
I not only lost my best friend, I also lost the man I loved and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with!
Meanwhile, you cared so little for me that you left without even telling me to my face! ”
“I wanted to tell you, Ensley. Hell, the night before I left, I almost asked you to come with me.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you would come—and I also knew you wouldn’t have been happy. You love your family, the ranch, your job. You would have hated me for taking you away from River Falls.”
“But you could have at least asked me! Or better yet, tell me you needed time. I would have understood, Colt.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think you would have.”
She gave me a look that gutted me. “Well…I guess we’ll never know, will we? Because you made sure of that.”
Closing my eyes, I drew in a breath and let it out before looking at her. “I was a coward. Yes, I ran. I should have called, but I knew you would be angry. One month turned into three, then six, then a year, then two. I figured you’d be happier without me.”
Tears filled her eyes as a small laugh slipped free.
“Then you clearly didn’t know me or know how much I loved you, Colt.
The last ten years of my life have been miserable.
Do you know how hard it is to try to move on with your life when your heart belongs to someone who didn’t give two shits about you? ”
“But I do—”
“You don’t walk away from a person you love and never reach out to them! You don’t hurt the people you love like that!”
“I do love you, Ensley! I never stopped loving you!”
Her head reared back and she looked as if I’d slapped her.
Then, after a long moment, she pressed her lips together tightly and shook her head. “You don’t get to say those words to me now, Colt. Not a decade too late. I wish you’d just stayed away.”
Turning, she quickly made her way down the street.
I pushed a hand through my hair and cursed under my breath.
Everything was completely fucked.
I let Ensley walk ahead of me as I kept a slower pace. We were both heading toward the hospital, and I decided I would give her time with my father before I joined them. It was the least I could do for her.
As I watched Ensley walk, I went over in my mind how I was going to explain to her the real reason I’d left River Falls—because she deserved to know now much like she deserved to know ten years ago, but I was too scared to tell anyone.
I had to remind myself that the moment she found out, she might never forgive me.
Then again, leaving without so much as a goodbye, days after she’d lost her best friend, might have hurt her more than the truth ever could.
It was the biggest mistake of my life. But I’d made my bed, and now I had to figure out a way to crawl out of it and make it up to her… if that was even possible.
I’d left River Falls in a sad attempt to save Ensley from pain, and all I’d managed to do was cause more.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
As I sat in the waiting room while Ensley visited my father, I thought about how I might get her alone to talk. The elevators dinged, and I watched as my mother walked out. She didn’t look as tired today as she had yesterday. She glanced into the waiting room and saw me sitting there, and smiled.
“What are you doing out here?” she asked as she approached. I stood and kissed her on the forehead.
“Morning, Mom.”
Her smile grew bigger. “Good morning. Why are you out here? Is your father okay?”
“Yes, yes, he’s fine. Ensley’s with him right now, and I wanted to give them some time together.”
Raising a brow, she asked, “Are you avoiding her?”
Laughing, I said, “No. I’ve actually tried a few times to speak to her, but…something keeps getting in the way.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Come on, though. We’re not going to hide out here. If you’re staying in River Falls for good, you two need to get used to seeing each other.”
Linking her arm with mine, she pulled me toward my father’s room.
Mom knocked and opened the door. Ensley was sitting next to the bed, and she and my dad were laughing.
It did something strange to my chest. I was both happy and sad.
Happy to see two people I loved dearly smiling and laughing, and sad that I couldn’t be the one to put that smile on Ensley’s face.
When she looked up and saw us, her smile faded slightly but didn’t disappear altogether.
“What’s so funny?” Mom asked, as she made her way over to my father and kissed him.
“Ensley was telling me about a horse she was working on the other day. He’s a little crackhead.”
“Little, he is not,” Ensley said, standing up and stepping back for me to walk over to my father’s other side.
“Morning, Dad,” I said, before leaning down and kissing him on the cheek. “How’d you sleep?”
“Okay, I guess. I’m ready to get out of here.”
Tapping his hand, my mother said, “Soon, sweetheart.”
Ensley sat on the love seat that was near the window, and I smiled, knowing she wasn’t going to leave simply because I was there.
The conversation soon fell to work, much to my mother’s displeasure.
My father told me who his remaining clients were and that most had probably already heard he’d suffered a heart attack, but that he’d need me to go to his office and make the calls and reschedule everyone.
“Ensley can show you where everything is.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Ensley asked from her seat. She’d been looking at her phone when her head snapped up at the mention of her name.
“You don’t mind, do you, darling?” Dad asked.
Ensley looked like she might say that she did in fact mind, but she plastered on a fake smile. “Of course, I don’t mind. Just don’t worry about anything, okay? Colt and I will take care of business.”
Both my parents beamed at Ensley, then turned their smiles on me. “I think you two should get lunch together, so you can talk about when’s the best time to take care of all that. Ensley, I’m sure you have to get back to your clients,” my mother said.
“Besides, the doctor said this morning I’ll be going home tomorrow, so there’s no need to stay in Granby tonight.”
“I don’t mind staying and helping if I can.”
My mother waved off Ensley’s suggestion. “Nonsense. All is fine here, and you need to get back to work.”
Mom turned her attention to me. “Colt, there’s a darling little sandwich shop on Main Street. They have the best Reubens. You and Ensley can grab lunch and work out the best time to meet at the barn and go through your father’s schedule.”
For a moment, I thought my father was going to add something, but he kept his mouth shut.
“I don’t think we need to go to lunch to make those plans,” Ensley argued.
Mom once again waved off Ensley’s words. “Don’t be silly. You haven’t had a good meal since you came here.”
“I have, actually. I went out to dinner with Doug last night. He, um…he came to town to check on…things.”
“Things?” I asked.
Ensley completely ignored me.
“That was so nice of him to do that for you.” Mom turned to my father. “I wonder if the kids can bring you back a salad?”
My father’s eyes lit up. “A sandwich sounds amazing, though. I’d do anything not to have to eat hospital food again.”
“I don’t think the doctor would approve of you eating deli meat. A nice salad will do.”
Sighing, my father said, “I guess a salad from a deli is better than a salad from the hospital.”
Clapping her hands in delight, my mother flashed a wide grin at Ensley. “Then that settles it! You kids will grab lunch, talk about Jacob’s schedule, then bring us back something yummy.”
Ensley forced a smile, and when I looked at my mother and father, I knew exactly what they were doing.
Playing matchmaker with me and Ensley.
I glanced back at Ensley and winked. She shot me a dirty look before rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to her phone.
Lunch was going to be interesting.