Chapter Eight – Ensley
Ensley
The second I left the Owens’ ranch, I went directly to my parents’ house. I hadn’t been able to stop by yesterday because of everything I’d stumbled upon with Jacob and his missing money.
I pulled up and parked behind my mother’s car. I could already feel the tears starting to build.
“Do not cry, Ensley Wilde. Do. Not. Cry.”
Grabbing my phone, I opened the truck door and slid out. I drew in a few more deep breaths as I walked up the steps to their porch. Before I got to the door, it opened, and my mother stood there. And that’s when the dam broke. I instantly started to cry as I walked into her outstretched arms.
“Oh, my sweet, sweet girl.”
The next thing I knew, we were on the sofa, a blanket over both of us, while my father handed us cups of his famous hot chocolate.
“How did you know?” I asked, before blowing my nose into a tissue.
“Gatlin stopped by earlier to tell us that Colt’s back.”
My father added, “He also told us about Jacob’s ranch hand stealing from him.”
I nodded. “I think that’s why he had the heart attack. I saw the bank statement on his desk, showing an overdrawn balance. That’s when I called Gatlin to come and help me figure things out. Colt, I guess, is going to take care of paying everything for his father.”
“Is he staying in River Falls for a while then?” Mom asked.
Sighing, I said, “He’s back for good.”
My parents exchanged a look. After Colt left ten years ago, I’d spent what felt like days in my parents’ bed. My mother would simply hold me while I cried, until I couldn’t cry any longer.
“That must have been a shock for you to see him. Gatlin told us it was at the hospital.”
“Yeah. He showed up a few days ago. He’s going to take over Jacob’s farrier business. As you know, Jacob sold off his cattle a number of years ago, but he still breeds horses. That’s what Ryan was helping with.”
“Do you know how he emptied the accounts?”
I shook my head. “No idea. I can’t see Jacob giving him access. He had to have tricked him somehow.”
Mom cleared her throat. “Well, I’m sure they’ll get it taken care of, now that Colt’s home. I’m more concerned about you.”
“He keeps saying he wants to talk to me. To explain.”
“And you don’t want that?” my father asked.
“Why should I give him the chance to explain things now? It’s been ten years, Dad! Ten! He can’t just walk into my life and think we’re going to simply pick up where we left off.”
They exchanged looks again.
“What are you two silently saying to one another?”
My father was sitting on the coffee table, and he reached for my hand. “Did he say he wanted to get back together?”
A swift, sinking feeling hit my chest. “No…not really. He just said he wanted to talk.”
He squeezed my hand lightly. “Then he may just want to explain his reasons for leaving.”
“He’s had ten years to explain them, Dad.”
Turning to face me, my mother added, “I’m not saying he should get a pass. You’re absolutely right, Ensley. He had ten years to contact you, and he didn’t. But…he is back now, and maybe hearing him out is what you need to move on.”
“I have moved on,” I blurted.
My mother raised a single brow. “Ensley, we’re your parents, and no one knows you as well as we do.
You have not moved on. Yes, parts of your life have moved on to a certain extent, but you haven’t let down the wall around your heart.
Just look at Doug. When things got serious, you broke up with him. ”
I closed my eyes. Doug. I’d already forgotten all about him coming to Granby and taking me to dinner.
“I thought I was ready to move on with Doug. He even came to Granby to make sure I was okay. Took me to dinner and let me get…well…he was there for me. But he saw Colt in the hotel where we were both staying, and he said that he could tell simply by the way I looked at Colt that I still had feelings for him.”
“And do you?” Dad asked.
I shrugged. “I won’t lie and say I don’t feel anything when I’m with him. I loved him, and thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel the way he did. I’ve tried…I really have.”
I wiped my tears away.
“Oh sweetheart. You gave your heart away, and sometimes it’s not so easy to get it back. Look at your brother Caden.”
I blinked back tears as I looked at my mother. “I thought I’d be married with kids by now. I’m so angry with myself that I’ve let Colt steal that away from me.”
My father let go of my hand and sat up straighter. “I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, pumpkin.”
I ran the back of my hand across my nose, and my father snarled his lip.
“Gross, Ensley.”
Mom handed me another tissue.
I wiped again. “Sorry. Go on, play devil’s advocate.”
“You don’t know why Colt left.”
I shook my head. “I don’t. I’m assuming it was because of Grady.”
“I don’t think it’s simply because his brother passed away.
There has to be more to this, and at the time, he couldn’t explain it.
It sounds to me like Colt was running from whatever that reason is.
He didn’t know how to tell his parents or you—maybe especially you—so he ran.
And kept running until it got to the point where he felt like it was too late to come home. Too much time had passed.”
Frowning, I asked, “You really think there’s something else?”
He nodded. “I saw the way that boy looked at you from the moment you first started dating. He was head over heels in love, Ensley.” He held up a hand when I tried to speak.
“I’m not saying what he did was right, but I do think there was a reason that, in his mind, he thought was big enough to make him leave.
Just look at Grady, honey. No one knew anything was wrong with him, either, until it was too late. ”
“You think I should let him explain?”
My father and mother both nodded as my dad spoke.
“I do. Nothing says you have to take him back, or even be friends with him. But I think that, if you truly want to move on and get over Colt, you have to let him tell you why he left. Otherwise, you’re always going to wonder, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself you don’t care. ”
“I agree with your father. There was something more behind his reason for leaving.”
My shoulders dropped, and I sighed. “I don’t want to relive that pain again.”
“I doubt he does either, but it’s something you both have to do. Let him explain to you why he left, then you can decide what the next move is.”
Placing my hands over my mouth, I exhaled deeply, then dropped my hands to my lap. “I’m sorry I came here and immediately broke down crying.”
Drawing me to her, my mother hugged me tightly. “That’s what we’re here for. You can always come to your father and me for anything, Ensley. You know that.”
I chewed nervously on my lower lip before asking, “Do you think we can fall in love that deeply twice in our lives?”
Dad drew back in surprise. “Of course, you can. Look at Caden and Levi.”
“But…a love like yours,” I said, as I pointed between the two of them. “I don’t think Levi and Caden’s first loves were anything like what they have now. So if you find a great love and it slips away, is it possible to have it again?”
My mother grabbed both of my hands. “Of course it is, Ensley.”
I felt fresh tears roll down my cheeks. My mother reached up and wiped them away before kissing my forehead. Then she leaned back and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“Do you remember after Colt left, when you asked me if you could die from a broken heart?”
I nodded.
“You didn’t die, Ensley. You thrived. Look at what you’ve done in your life.”
I looked down at our hands. “I don’t have a family, though.”
“Pumpkin, you still have plenty of time to build a family.”
I sniffled. “But he’s the one I wanted a family with. I don’t know how to turn off my feelings for him, and I’ve tried so damn hard!”
Moving to the sofa, my father gathered me in his arms and held me. I buried my face against his chest and let the tears fall freely. It was time I admitted the truth.
“I love him still, Daddy! I hate myself for it, but I still love him.”
He kissed my head. “I know, baby girl. I know. My offer still stands to kick his ass. I might be ten years older now, but I think I can take him.”
I drew back to look at him. He was dead serious—and I soon found myself laughing.
“You don’t think I could take him?”
Between fits of laughter, I replied, “With Gatlin or Caden’s help, maybe.”
My father huffed.
“I love you both so much.”
They both wrapped their arms around me, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel hurt and pain. I simply felt love.
A week had passed, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Colt.
But I hadn’t expected to see him, really, especially since I’d stuck to just going to my appointments and back home.
I hadn’t even been into town at all. I also hadn’t gone to visit Jacob and Lynn.
I’d called and talked to them, but I hadn’t been by.
The tap on the neighboring stall had me turning to see my brother Gatlin standing there.
“Hey.”
“Emeline told me you were working here today. I thought you had that interview.”
“The reporter came by earlier, so I thought I’d stick around and take care of some of the horses today. Emeline also said a few of these little monsters need to be ridden.”
“Want some company?”
Glancing at him over my shoulder, I asked, “Did Mom send you down here?”
He laughed. “No. Should she have?”
I dropped the horse’s hoof and stood. “I might have had a bit of a breakdown at their house the other day.”
Gatlin nodded as he stroked the horse’s neck. “I get it. Did you feel better afterward?”
Huffing, I said, “No. I did admit to them and myself that I’m still in love with Colt.”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s not news.”
Placing my hands on my hips, I sighed. “I’ve been getting that from a lot of people.”
“Who are we riding, and I’ll saddle them up.”
“Ceres and Luna.”
“How much longer do you have here?”
“That was my last shoe. Just need to get her back into her stall and give her some yummies. Emeline said she’ll turn her out after her meeting.”