Chapter 18
Ford
It was easy to offer up my family to Natasha. She'd been a part of it since we started working together in school, and then later when we were dating.
Once my family welcomed you in, you never left. The years that passed with us being out of town wouldn't make any difference to them. "My family probably prefers you over me anyway."
She laughed, the candlelight flickering over her face. "I doubt that."
It was worth saying whatever it took to get her to laugh. "Go ahead and ask them. I'm sure they'll admit it."
She shook her head. "They'd just be giving you a hard time."
"I don't know about that." Mom wanted more women around, so she was happy to have Penny and now Natasha. She certainly wouldn't want me to push her away.
I ate until I was stuffed, pleased with the company. I'd been putting off emptying the rest of the moving boxes, and Natasha had been the catalyst. I leaned back in my chair, covering my stomach with my hand.
"Dinner was so good. Seriously," Natasha said.
I raised a brow, considering her. "Do you have energy to finish the tree?"
She bit her lip. "We should do it now. If I sit on the couch, I'm going to fall asleep."
"That's what I always do after eating on Thanksgiving. I have to take a nap while my brothers play football."
She drained her wine glass. "I've heard that turkey will make you sleepy."
"I eat a lot of it, so that makes sense." I stood, gesturing at the dishes. "What do you say? Should we clean up?"
She stacked them. "I'll clean up since you cooked."
I snagged the wine glasses and the bottle. "You helped me cook."
Together, we had the dishes cleaned up in no time. Then we resumed our spot in front of the tree.
When Clara had packed the ornaments, she'd placed them in a nice storage box with trays that lifted out, so putting everything away would be a breeze.
Natasha handed me a powder-blue sports car. "This is the last one. You should do the honors."
I placed it up high, underneath the star that was identical to the one on Natasha's tree. "Now it's done."
"You're all decorated for Christmas." Then her brow furrowed. "You could probably use some lights on the outside of your house."
I placed the now-empty boxes by the basement door. I'd carry them down when she was gone. "Who'd see it?"
She ticked off the list on her fingers. "You, me, maybe your family."
I stretched my arms overhead, leaning from one side to the next. "Maybe next year. This is good for now."
Natasha sat on the couch. "I'll help. I'm sure your whole family would."
I sat next to her. "That might be a good idea. If I could get everyone here, then it would be easy. What were you thinking?" I pulled out my phone, scrolling to a few options.
"Regular white lights on the railings, maybe some garland. Wreaths on the windows and a larger one on the door."
"What about the fence that lines the driveway?"
Natasha's eyes lit with excitement. "You could do that too."
"Sure. Why not?" I added everything to the cart, guessing at how much I'd need to cover the porch and the fence.
Natasha whistled when she saw the total. "If you don't mind spending a ton of money."
"I saved a lot of money when I was in the army. I didn't have anyone to spend it on. Most of the other soldiers had families, a wife. But it was just me." The biggest things I'd bought were the truck and this house.
She sighed. "It's a good use of your money. Lights always lift my spirits."
I raised a brow. "And yet you didn't have a tree in your apartment?"
She rolled her eyes playfully. "You changed my mind."
"You want to watch a holiday movie?" I was tired from the day, hiking, cutting down the trees, lugging them to our homes, then decorating both of them. But it was nice to spend the day with Natasha. Usually, I was alone on Sundays, catching up on work in my bathroom.
"Sure. Sometimes I feel like I'm building a business at the expense of my personal life. When I worked for someone else, I made sure to go out with friends for drinks or Sunday brunch. But now, I'm holed up in the inn most days of the week. Thanks for getting me out. It was nice."
"This arrangement is good for both of us." I'd gotten my friend back, and we enjoyed each other's company. I probably shouldn't have referred to it as an arrangement, but I couldn't come up with another word for it.
I turned on a comedy while Natasha stretched out her legs. I lifted her feet into my lap, giving me more room. About thirty minutes into the movie, I asked, "You want popcorn?"
Natasha moved her feet out of my lap. "Of course."
I got up and went to the kitchen, pulling a machine out of my lower cabinet.
Natasha joined me in the kitchen. "You have a popcorn popper?"
"I love freshly popped kernels, not that stuff that you put in the microwave."
I added kernels and oil. While we waited for it to pop, I asked over the noise, "You want butter or seasoning?"
"What do you have?"
I pulled out the flavorings and lined them up on the counter.
"Nacho cheese looks good."
I put the rest of the bottles in the cabinet, then grabbed a white ceramic bowl with the word Popcorn written on the side.
"You have quite the set up," Natasha observed.
"I love the movie-watching experience, and I can't always get to a movie theater." I added the seasoning and handed Natasha the bowl.
We settled on the couch, this time sitting next to each other, sharing the popcorn. I refilled the wine glasses, wondering if Natasha had drunk too much to drive home tonight. I wouldn't mind if she stayed.
I wanted more of what happened last night. I didn't think I'd ever get enough of grown-up Natasha.
When the popcorn was gone and the credits were rolling on the screen, I picked up the dropped kernels. "I need a dog."
Natasha curled her legs underneath her. "Have you always wanted one?"
"The house is quiet with just me, and he'd eat the crumbs I drop."
Natasha grabbed our empty glasses and carried them into the kitchen, setting them next to the sink. "I can see you with a dog. A lab or a golden retriever."
"You should come with me to a shelter to pick one out," I said before I could think that one through. It sounded domestic, like something a girlfriend would do with her boyfriend. I didn't think she was ready for that.
"You're getting one soon?" Natasha leaned against the counter.
"I think I should."
"I'd love to go." Our social calendar was filling up, and I didn't feel stressed about it. I was looking forward to more time together.
I finished cleaning up the kernels, folding the blankets before I turned off the lights. I headed toward the stairs before remembering we hadn't discussed where she was staying tonight. "You should stay."
Her lips quirked. "I was hoping you'd say that."
I smiled, leading the way upstairs to my room. "The bathroom is the second door on the right. Sorry I don't have an en suite at the moment."
"But your bathroom will be amazing when it's done," she said as she left the room.
I changed into a T-shirt and sweats, grabbing my paperback off the nightstand. I looked at the pages, not really seeing the words.
My fingers trembled as I turned a page, pretending to read. I wasn't sure what I was doing with Natasha or how much longer I'd survive this arrangement. I was the one who set the parameters, but I didn't feel in control anymore.
When Natasha returned, her gaze fixed on me.
I set the book face down on the nightstand to hold my spot. Then I held my hand out for her, needing her to be close. She easily moved toward me, placing her hand in mine.
When she climbed in bed next to me, I flipped off the lamp, leaving the room illuminated by the glow of the fireplace.
Natasha surprised me by straddling my hips. Then she kissed me as if she'd been wanting me all night. She moaned into my mouth as my hands roamed over her, pulling her more tightly against me.
I didn't want anything between us. I rolled her to her back so I could remove my shirt. Leaning down, I shoved her shirt up, kissing her stomach. Natasha's stomach quivered, and her breath hitched. With a strangled cry, she lifted herself up to remove it.
I assisted by unbuckling her jeans. Then I waited for her to wiggle out of them.
When Natasha lay back on the sheets in just a lace bra and panties, I murmured, "Gorgeous."
Her skin was flushed, and I didn't think it had anything to do with the warmth of the fire.
I hooked my fingers in her panties, pulling them down. With a challenge in her eyes, she reached around to unhook her bra.
She rested on her back, naked.
I sat back on my haunches, taking her in. "I'll never get enough of you."
Those weren't words you said to someone you weren't serious about, but I wasn't going to analyze what I was feeling in this moment.
Natasha surged to her knees, kissing me. I cupped her breasts, tweaking her nipples.
Natasha rubbed her thighs together.
"You need this?" I moved to shuck my sweats and briefs.
"I need you," she said.
I gently shoved her until she was on her back again; I sucked one nipple into my mouth. She held me to her, widening her legs, so I sank between them.
My cock slipped between her folds, and I was lost in the feel of her surrounding me. I needed more, but I was holding back, wanting to drive her to the brink but not over.
She tugged on my hair and lifted her hips, causing my cock to nudge her entrance. I sighed as I easily slipped inside her wet heat.
She gasped from the intrusion.
I'd never get used to being with her like this.
Her skin was so soft.
My heart expanded as I moved, staking a claim. She was mine, even if she didn't know it yet.
I pulled out, her lips forming a pout. "On all fours." When she was in position, I touched her folds, confirming that she was still wet. Her hips bucked when I circled her swollen clit.
She looked over her shoulder, the light of the fire reflected in her eyes. "Ford."
I sank inside her, and her head dropped between her shoulders. I set a fast pace, trying to hit that spot inside her that would drive her crazy.
I bit my lip against the out-of-control feeling coursing through my body. With each snap of my hips, I felt like I was falling deeper for her and whatever this was. I leaned over her back, touching her clit, needing her to go over first.
Within seconds, her walls clamped around me, white lights exploding behind my eyelids as Natasha fell to her elbows, her head buried in the pillow.
I continued to move, a little more slowly now, attempting to draw it out, savoring every second. I thrust one more time, groaning into her shoulder.
Her body flattened under my weight, and I kissed her shoulder before rolling to my side. I was spent from the day, the emotional drain of holding myself back from these feelings for her. Eventually I got up, intending to find her a washcloth.
Natasha remained where she was as if she was too tired to move. I couldn't believe that she was here in my space, naked in my bed.
I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink, wondering what I was doing. If she wasn't all in this with me, it would be devastating to walk away from her. But I was in this now, and there was no going back.
I grabbed a washcloth, waiting for the water to warm before soaking it, then squeezing out the excess. I returned to my bedroom, finding her sprawled on the bed exactly how I left her.
I carefully cleaned her, tossing the washcloth in the direction of my hamper, then gathered her close. "Thanks for staying the night."
"Mmm," was all she said.
Her skin was soft and warm, and she was pliable in my arms. I was overwhelmed with emotions I wasn't ready to dissect yet.
I was content to be here with her like this. It would have to be enough for now.