10 | Silver
Iguess one good thing about telling your boyfriend you love him for the first time while he’s high as a kite, there’s every chance he won’t remember it. So, if he didn’t mean it when he said the same thing to you and it was just the drugs talking, there’s no harm done.
I mean, sure, there’s be some harm done to my fragile little heart. And maybe to my ego too, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
On the other hand, one bad thing about telling him I loved him while he was off his tits...
—you guessed it, it’s the chance he might not remember it. Which leaves me vaguely uncertain about where I stand. Do I act like it never happened? Wait until he wakes up and then slip it into conversation and see how that goes?
Maybe I should wake him up by whispering into his ear. Although that last one sounds like a recipe for disaster. Kind of creepy, too.
All the things my suddenly neurotic brain is pondering while Ro snores softly beside me.
He’s the world’s worst patient, but he’s painfully endearing when he’s dosed up on Luna’s potions. For a guy with illusion magic, there’s isn’t much artifice to Roscoe at the best of times. And when he’s drugged up, he’s a squishy ball of vulnerability and raw feeling.
It makes me want to scoop him up and protect him from all the world’s evils, even though that would be physically impossible considering how much bigger he is than me.
I drop my head back and let out a sigh. It’s the first time I’ve ever said those three words to anyone who isn’t family. First time I’ve felt them too. After over two decades of having absolutely zero time or luck on the romantic front, I’m suddenly brimming with feelings.
Not just for Roscoe, either.
It’s scary as shit.
Part of me wants to tell Zeph exactly how I feel, with all these burgeoning emotions bubbling up inside me. I really want to see his face and see if he freaks the fuck out.
I enjoy pushing his limits, after all.
Maybe I’ll write it on a cake. Or on the bathroom mirror, serial killer style. Or I could tell him the next time his dick is halfway down my throat, to see what happens.
It’s a distracting train of thought to carry me along while Roscoe sleeps off his buttload of drugs and while I’m still waiting for Luna to come down.
It’s certainly a better daydream than the alternative, anyway. Which is thinking about how things went in the Nexus District earlier today. Or how my magic seems to be failing on me.
Sure, maybe I’m still exhausted after yesterday, or that the mental barrier from keeping Ember out is draining me more than I thought.
As I lie beside him, I draw on my blood magic to focus on Ro’s heartbeat, digging deep to—
My heart flutters, and a wave of panic goes through me.
There’s nothing. My magic gives a little jerk and then settles back down again.
Next, I try to summon a tiny fireball in the palm of my hand.
This time, my power doesn’t even react. It’s like it’s sleeping, lying dormant inside me, and when I catch it by surprise, it reacts, but only infinitesimally.
I focus on summoning Poncho, waiting for the massive creature to appear.
Again, nothing happens.
What the hell is going on with me? My insides knot. This is really not the time for my magic to go all glitchy. Not now the Archarcans are aware of my existence, and I highly doubt the Bad Vamps are done with their campaign to take over the city.
A shitty time to find yourself powerless, or for my magic to be unreliable.
When Luna appears a few minutes later, she catches me in the act of staring at the window that’s just visible from Roscoe’s bed, trying to make it rain. Something that was so damn easy just the other day now seems like an impossibility.
When I focus in on the area just below my ribs where my magic usually resides, I don’t feel any warmth or jolts of power when I poke it.
I don’t feel anything at all.
And that scares the absolute shit out of me.
My magic might have caused me plenty of problems in my life. It got me shunned and left me homeless, after all. But I’ve never wanted to be without it. It’s still a part of me,
“Everything good here?” Luna asks with a raised eyebrow. She knows the answer already since she seems to have a sixth sense for when any of us are hurting. Plus, she can probably read the concern that’s all over my face.
“I think my magic is glitching,” I tell her.
Best to stick to the biggest problem that’s closest at hand. I skim over the fact that last night was easily one of the worst of my life, or the terror I felt earlier when Fabian and I got attacked by an angry mob.
She hums softly and pads closer on bare feet. Her hair is slightly damp and I wonder where she’s been, whether she’s started a new garden on the rooftop already.
“Let’s see, shall we?” Her voice is a calm ocean, soothing. Luna’s the best nurse in the world, the best person to have around you when you’re hurting or afraid.
I take a deep breath and let her presence relax me.
“Can you check on Ro first? He downed a ton of your potion. Got all giddy and told me he loved me, then he passed out about thirty seconds later.”
She grins and daintily takes a seat beside the bed, crossing her legs beneath her long, flowing skirt. “Are you surprised? He doesn’t strike me as someone that does things in moderation.”
I chuckle, eyeing my dark prince as he breathes deeply. His dark lashes are enviably long and another surge of love goes through me, intense enough to make my breath catch. Roscoe shifts slightly in his sleep, tossing one tattooed arm over his face, like he was unconsciously aware of my gaze on him.
“He’s a head-first, all in, kind of guy. Also, an ‘ooh, I wanna see what happens when...’ kinda guy.”
“Who loves you,” she adds with a beaming smile.
Even if he was only sinking into his buzz and he didn’t mean it, I can’t stop a smile from breaking out across my face.
Luna eyes him for a second and then nods to herself. “He’ll be fine. He’s gonna sleep for a good while and when he wakes up, most of his healing will be done and he should be able to move around normally again. We’ll just make sure he drinks and eats something every time he stirs and he should come out none the worse for what happened last night.”
I raise an eyebrow, eyeing my sister curiously. “Did you plan this? Did you know he wouldn’t be able to resist downing the lot, so you left it out in the open for him since you also know he’s shit at keeping still? And that he has terrible impulse control?”
She shrugs with a dainty little jerk of her shoulders. “You want him better, don’t you?”
“Dastardly genius,” I mutter, marveling at her sheer skill.
Luna rolls her eyes. “Now, let”s look at your magic, shall we?” She takes my hand in hers and closes her eyes.
For a moment, nothing happens, and I sit there staring at her gorgeous face. The big eyes, long lashes and her cute little chin, all the delicate features I know so well.
Then something jolts inside me. It’s a mixture of that jerky feeling you get when you’re falling asleep and another feeling like I’ve just been shocked with a jolt of electricity. Luna’s brows tighten and I can feel my magic swirling inside me, grasping, like it’s trying to absorb someone else’s power. Luna’s grip on my hand tightens, and she lets out a little whimper.
I call her name and squeeze her right back. Her eyes are moving beneath her closed eyelids, like she’s dreaming. Or she’s caught in a nightmare.
“Luna, honey?”
Her breath comes in pants and I sit up, running my fingers through her hair like I would if she were one of the twins having a nightmare.
“You’re all right, Luna. I’m here. Just open your eyes and it’ll go away.”
She must be having a vision. I’ve never actually witnessed her using her Sight before, and thank fuck my magic is still not working right, or I’d be adding another unwanted string to my bow.
Her eyes open and she stares at me blankly with tears glistening. She then swallows and smiles at me, but it’s forced.
“What the hell was that?” I demand.
She pulls back and my hand drops from her hair. “You know what that was.”
“Your Sight hurts you? Causes actual physical pain?” I ask. “How come you never said anything?”
“It never lasts long,” she replies breezily. “A couple of minutes at the most and then I move on.” Clearing her throat, she smiles again, and it’s clear I’m not getting anything else out of her right now. “Anyway, you’re right about your magic. I think there’s something blocking it at the moment. A spell or a potion, I would guess. Something is dampening it and making it lie dormant.”
“A spell? Like someone put a spell on me without me knowing?” I would have thought my magic would have reacted and tried sucking it down if someone did a nulling spell in my presence.
“Did you eat or drink anything recently that smelled weird or had a strange texture?”
I think back to when my magic first started acting up. It was last night, although everything’s muddled since I was also exhausted, but—
“That bastard,” I mutter. “Ember gave me some water while I was with him and I thought it had been sitting for a while or something. It tasted kind of weird, anyway, but I was so damn thirsty, I still drank it.”
“Huh,” she murmurs. “I guess that would make sense. It would mean you’d need to contact him to get the antidote.”
Anger surges up inside me, and I toss my head back. “Well, fuck that. Can I fix it?”
“I could brew something for you, but it”ll take a few days.”
My heart sinks. With things as volatile as they are right now, I’m not sure we can risk me being out of commission for hours, let alone days.
“Or,” she adds with a devilish grin. “You know what should work? Vamp blood. Huh, I wonder if we know any willing vamps that might be persuaded to share their blood with you. Sexy vampires who look at you like you’re a miracle and a mystery all wrapped into one.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not treating Dante like he’s my personal blood bank, Luna.”
“He’d like to see you, I’m sure. That vamp would give you his right arm if it helped you—even if you just had an itch, he wouldn’t hesitate to lop it off and hand it over.”
“Gross.” I bite my lip, hesitating before I continue. “I guess if I don’t want to play into Ember and the Bad Vamps’ hands, I need my powers back without having to rely on them to help me.”
Having glitchy powers isn’t an option right now, not when it nearly got me and Fabian into a very bad situation.
Luna’s answering smile is as pleased as punch. She’s such a romantic softie. Although studying her expression, I notice she’s looking paler than normal. Her skin is practically translucent.
“You all right here if I go and see a vamp about sucking his... blood?” I grin.
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll just hang around here with Sleeping Beauty.” She pats my hand. Although that motion clues me into the fact her hands are trembling.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Luna?”
“That vision took it out of me,” she replies with an artful little shrug. “It happens. Maybe I should get Ember’s recipe. It might mean I can get a good night’s sleep.”
The words are casual, almost careless, and I’m sure she doesn’t want me to delve deeper right now, but they still hit me like a slap in the face.
“You have visions while you’re sleeping? The same ones that cause you pain?” My gut twists with guilt. How have I missed that? We lived in neighboring rooms in an old warehouse until a few months ago. The damn building had paper-thin walls, so I should have known if she was having nightmares.
Unless things have been getting worse and she hasn’t mentioned it.
I feel the familiar pang of guilt that’s my near constant companion. I’ve been stretched too thin and clearly a lot has slipped through the gaps. First Ember and now this.
“Stop.” She puts a hand on my arm. “It’s not like you can do anything about it. It’s worth it, anyway. I love a happy ending.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She nods. “There’s this bulging table cluttered with chairs and place settings. Everyone talking at once and yelling over each other. Fighting over the last potato. Normal life, Silver. Normal family life, all together and making allowances for each other. Compromising so that everyone gets to spend time with each other. Loving each other, however slowly that part might come.”
I guess that sounds nice. “And do you see any of the people around the table? Any handsome witches that are there holding your hand and writing you poems about plants?”
That’s how I reckon someone would woo Luna, at least. Gush over her garden and rub her head when she’s looking tired and I’m pretty sure she’d be content.
“I never See anything of my own life,” she says with another shrug.
Shame. I think we could all do with the confirmation that our lives are going to work out just fine. We just have to find a way through the hard parts first.
I carefully roll away from Roscoe and get to my feet. Time to pay a visit to my favorite vampire.