Chapter 22
Elyna
The first thing I noticed was the weight.
A steady, grounding warmth pinning me against the futon cushions.
My body ached in the best way possible, but my mind fought to catch up, sifting through the haze of last night.
Phoenix was sound asleep beside me and my breath hitched.
His arm was draped heavy across my waist, his chest pressed against my back, his slow even breaths tickling the crown of my hair.
We’d fallen asleep tangled up together. For a moment, I just lay here.
Listening. Feeling. Letting myself believe this was something normal.
That I was the kind of woman who woke up in the arms of a man who wanted her, instead of the girl who made one bad decision after another.
I tilted my head slightly. His plaid shirt was balled up on the floor near the coffee table, my sweatshirt half hanging off the futon.
I should’ve panicked. I should’ve slipped out from under his arm, straightened up, reminded myself this was reckless.
But instead, my chest swelled with something I hadn’t felt in years, safety.
That was followed by a sense of guilt because, did I have the right to feel safe?
I’d known Phoenix almost my whole life. Stable, responsible Phoenix. But could he be all those things to me?
Braden stirred, pulling me from my thoughts. It was faint at first, just the rustle of sheets from his playpen that was inside the bedroom. A whimper, then another. I froze, instinct tugging me to go, to pick him up before the cries grew. But Phoenix shifted behind me.
“You want me to get him?” he murmured, voice deep and gravelly with sleep.
The words hit me harder than they should have.
No one had ever offered that before. No one had even thought to.
Since Braden was born I had done everything.
Even when Riley came around for visits, he didn’t offer to feed him or change a diaper.
It was obvious it would be me doing all those things.
I turned my head, catching his dark eyes blinking open. Soft. Unarmored.
“You don’t have to. . .” The words caught in my throat.
“I want to,” he said and I stared into his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity there.
Before I could respond, he was up. Barefoot he slipped on his jeans, which slung low on his hips.
I watched the muscles in his broad back as he went into the bedroom.
I think I was in shock. That’s why I was frozen in my spot. Braden’s cries quieted.
“Hey, buddy,” Phoenix said softly, lifting him like it wasn’t the first time. His big hands dwarfed Braden’s little body, but he held him steady, gently. “Rough night? Yeah, me too.”
The sight made my throat ache. Watching Phoenix with my son, so natural, so unhesitating, was a sucker punch straight to the heart. Because it was everything I wanted and everything I was terrified of.
Braden patted his cheek, gurgling happily, and Phoenix smiled. Really smiled. That rare, full thing that transformed his whole face. He carried Braden over and sat on the futon beside me, settling the baby in my arms but keeping one hand on his back.
“He’s perfect,” Phoenix said simply.
“Y-you don’t have to say that,” I mumbled still stunned.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Elyna.” His hand brushed against mine on Braden’s tiny spine. His gaze held mine, steady and sure. “And I meant what I said last night too. About wanting you.”
Heat bloomed in my chest, twisting with panic. I looked down at Braden, who was already drifting back off to sleep on my shoulder. “It’s not that easy, Phoenix.”
He leaned closer, his forehead nearly brushing mine. “Maybe it is.”
My lips parted as words tangled on the tip of my tongue. He kissed me before I could get any out. The kiss was soft, lingering, a promise of more.
My heart stuttered.
When he pulled back, his hand cupped my cheek. “Let me try, Elyna. Don’t shut me out.”
I wanted to say no. I felt the strong need to protect myself, to protect Braden. But the words wouldn’t come. Not when my son sighed against my chest, content, and Phoenix looked at both of us like we were his whole world.
For the first time in years, I didn’t feel alone. And that scared me more than anything.
“I-I-”
He blinked and the look he gave me said something along the lines of he could read my reservations.
“It’s fine Elyna, I get it. . .” He began to stand.
“No, Phoenix, I don’t think you do. I’ve always been used to depending on myself, then I had Braden and he depends on me too. I won’t let him down. I can’t. His father. . .”
I couldn’t tell him about Riley, could I?
“What about his father? Is he still in the picture? Because I thought you weren’t together since you came back home,” he said, and I watched his whole body tense.
“It’s not that. We haven’t been together since I told him I was pregnant. He practically accused me of getting pregnant on purpose,” I hissed.
“That lowlife,” Phoenix barked and then he pinched his lips together. “I know Braden’s a baby, but he doesn’t need to hear bad things about his father.”
His words made my walls cave faster. Who was this man? He was thoughtful and caring. Maybe I’d known he’d been all those things all along and that’s what terrified me.
“I need to take things slow. I’ve made so many mistakes,” I confessed.
He didn’t look like he liked my answer, but he accepted it.
“I understand where you’re coming from, which is why I am going to prove to you this wasn’t a mistake,” Phoenix said.
My heart hurt because he was such a good man and I didn’t want to make his life difficult.
“You could never be a mistake,” I assured him.
At those words he softened. “I know what I need to do,” he said then he stood. “I have to get to work because I have a delivery to accept this morning.”
“Okay.”
Then he paused and watched me. “I’m not going anywhere, Elyna. I’m right here and I’m going to show you the kind of man I am.”
“I wasn’t trying to challenge that. I know you’re a good man. It’s me I don’t trust,” I admitted.
“I get it. I do,” he said as he finished getting dressed. “I need to go to my house to shower and change my clothes.” He leaned down and kissed me on the lips then caressed Braden’s head. “Will I be seeing you later?”
“I have a shift this afternoon. I have to get this dude over to daycare again,” I explained, feeling my emotions twisting.
“See you later.” He winked and the wink left my heart galloping because he was so hot and so sensitive and understanding. He was the whole package.
“See you.”
“You got this with Braden. Little dude is a strong boy. He’ll rock daycare,” he continued and that made me smile.
“Thanks for saying that.”
“It’s the truth,” he said then his phone buzzed. “Damn, I better go. I’m late and everyone is wondering where I am.”
“You’re the boss.”
“Still got a business to run. I’ll see you later.”
Phoenix left and my emotions were all over the place.
The loft felt too quiet without him, and I sank onto the futon, pressing my palm to my chest like I could steady the wild gallop of my heart.
I hated how much I wanted him. Hated that a single wink, a few thoughtful words, could shake the walls I’d built so carefully.
But even as my doubts gnawed at me, I couldn’t ignore the truth.
Phoenix Thorne was dangerous in all the ways I never expected because he wasn’t just strong and sexy.
He was kind. Attentive. The kind of man who could slip past my defenses without even trying.
And if I wasn’t careful, I was going to fall.