29. Lila
Chapter twenty-nine
Lila
Elise
I am SO sorry I’ve been MIA this summer. My job is kicking my ass, and I’m so stressed out that any spare moment I have I’m just stress cleaning everything in sight.
Me
Oh no. I’m so sorry it’s so stressful. Quit?
Elise
Ha. Do you know what a move this early on in my career would do to my employability? I might as well just move back in with my parents now.
Me
Trust me. I get it. Does your boss know?
Elise
One of the updates I haven’t been able to talk to you about yet: My boss quit like two weeks ago and now I’m working under this new guy who is THE WORST.
Elise
Though in the spirit of full transparency, I must confess he also might be the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. He looks like one of the models of your romance books.
Me
Damn, girl. Get it. Or don’t get it and still quit.
Elise
I know. But he and all his bro friends act like I can’t do the job, so I have to prove to them that I can. It’s for womenkind really.
Elise
But I don’t want to think about my shit show. Tell me everything about you and JT.
Elise
And I would like to go on the record stating I told you so. I saw this coming from a mile away.
Me
Not to brag, but it’s actually been really amazing. He’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.
Me
Except he’s not my boyfriend.
Me
We are roommates with benefits until we both move out.
Elise
And what are you going to be then?
Annoyed with how long this is taking to text, I call Elise instead, settling in on my and JT’s bed. He came in fourth today, which is amazing, especially since he’s been struggling so much the last year. He’d come into the day as number two, but a couple of putts didn’t go his way and a few guys ended up having a lower score than him by the time it was all said and done. I’m still planning on congratulating him in the sexiest way when he gets home in a few hours, so I stopped by the garage where I’m currently storing clothes, picking through my boxes until I found the only silky pajamas I own. Now I’m showered, shaved, and home alone with nothing to do but lament to my best friend about falling for a guy I’m most certainly not supposed to be interested in.
And if I learned one thing this week, it’s that I’m falling hard and fast for the man. He consumes my waking thoughts and chases me into my dreams each night, whispering words of forever I know I will never hear in real life.
Elise answers her phone, and I feel the tension easing from my shoulders as her voice echoes from my speakerphone. Maybe if I debrief my feelings with Elise, I’ll be in a headspace to take full advantage of JT once he’s home.
“So, what are you going to do once you move out?” Elise leads with her unanswered question from our text conversation.
“Cry,” I say. I mean it as a joke, but when my voice breaks, I realize it’s likely the most truthful thing I could’ve said.
“Oh, friend. I’m so sorry.”
“That’s the thing, I can’t even accept your sympathy. He’s been so up front about what this is. I’ve known since the beginning there would never be anything long-term between us.” I clasp my hands between my knees, my shoulders bunching around my ears.
“But you’re going to keep up this friends-with-benefits thing until then?” she asks.
I laugh. “We’re not even calling it friends-with-benefits. There is such little expectation of long-term feelings that we’ve been referring to it as roommates-with-benefits.”
Elise snorts. “Well, at least the benefits are good, no matter what other title is attached to them.” She pauses. “They are good, right? It wasn’t like a one-time thing in Vegas?”
“Vegas has been seriously upstaged. I swear it gets better every time we mess around.”
“So clearly not something you’re giving up before the time arrives?”
“Definitely not. I truly think I may be addicted at this point.”
“Ugh. I’m so jealous.”
“Elise!” I yell at her. “You cannot be jealous of me about this.”
“Are you or are you not having life-altering sex with a professional athlete who also happens to look like Zeus’s little, less crazy brother?”
“I cannot confirm the Zeus thing, but I get your point. I’m living every girl my age’s dream.”
“Exactly, and then maybe you two can be friends, or at least friendly, later.”
“I don’t know. I’m not saying we are going to fight like we used to, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to be around him without being pissed at him for being so stupidly against a relationship with me, but—there I go again. I keep blaming him, but in reality, this is on me. JT has been open about what he wants the whole time.”
“Maybe he’ll change his mind. You two have always had something more than friendship or even annoyance between you. I can’t imagine he’d walk away that easily.”
“I don’t know, he did the first time we kissed. And then again after we hooked up.”
“Have you actually confirmed that with him?”
“No,” I reply.
“So you still haven’t asked him about Vegas?”
“No. What am I supposed to say, ‘Hey, remember how after we hooked up in Vegas you completely ghosted me for breakfast the next day and then were a complete ass when I asked you about it? Can you explain that to me? Because I really don’t understand how that guy is the same as the guy I’m falling in love with right now.’” Tears push at the corners of my eyes and the back of my throat, begging to be released. I’m so pathetic.
But that is what this conversation with my best friend is for—to get this out of my system before JT gets home. Once he’s here, I’ll be in the roommates-with-benefits mindset, not this one that wants something more from him.
“Wait, did you just say ‘love’?” Elise’s voice crackles with disbelief.
I open my mouth to explain, but a sudden, deep thud echoes from outside my bedroom door. My heart seizes as I turn toward the sound, feeling the blood drain from my face.
“What was that?” Elise whisper-yells through the phone.
I press a finger to my lips instinctively though she can’t see it. “Shh,” I murmur, listening intently. The silence on the other side of the door is somehow louder, prickling at my nerves.
“Lila? What’s going on?” Elise’s voice is barely audible now.
“I... I think someone’s in my house,” I whisper back, gripping the phone tighter. “Stay on the line. Call 9-1-1 if I don’t respond to you at any point.”
Grabbing one of my high heels from the floor, I creep toward the door, my pulse hammering in my ears. I press down on the handle, pushing as I swing the door open, only to find the house empty, with no sign of what made that noise.