19. Della
DELLA
Iwas curious how seeing him the morning was going to go after I let him into one of the most intimate parts of my world.
He seemed to leave in a rush, and I thought I might have scared him.
But when he shows up, I feel even closer than I did before.
At one point, I catch him looking at me like he forgot the beautiful sunrise even existed.
These moments between us live in a space between special and odd.
Odd because I’m inching closer and closer to him both literally and figuratively, but then he consistently disappears into the day.
And that’s where the special comes in. The fact that he’s carving out time every morning, time he doesn’t have, intensifies this thing blooming between us.
At least on my end. Freaking high season.
This particular morning, after sunrise, I know I won’t see him again because he has plans tonight, but before I have a chance to be upset about it, Molly and Hazel pop in to talk about plans.
“What are you up to this weekend?” Hazel asks as she gives her horse a treat.
“Probably barricading myself in my painting room,” I reply.
Picking up that brush yesterday cracked open a part of my soul. I want to make up for five years of lost time. There’s no shortage of new and novel things around this ranch I want to capture.
“Perfect because tomorrow is my favorite day of the year, and Molly and I want to invite you along,” she says, practically bouncing on her toes.
“Me?” I stop and look up.
“Yes, you. It’s the finalizing weekend for the spa!” Hazel talks, and Molly dances behind her. “And we get to be their test dummies. Any interest in joining us?”
“What’s that look like?” I asked.
“It means we get to enjoy spa treatments to ensure everything is perfect for high season guests.”
“Does anyone say no to that?” I lean on my shovel and laugh at the polar opposites of luxury spa treatments and shoveling shit.
“We never asked anybody else.” Hazel adds. “Plus, I’m maybe stereotyping here, but I’m guessing you have been to a spa before, so you can provide comparative insight.”
I’m thrown for a loop after that statement. They’ve never asked anyone else? Is that because they feel bad for me? Regardless, I’m not going to say no.
“Sign me up! What time?”
“Fantastic! Ten tomorrow morning.” she replies. “Okay, I have to get ready to take my first group of the season out! I’m so excited!”
Hazel bounds off, and that leaves Molly and me just chit-chatting before she has to go.
While Hazel is so deep in the horses, I can’t get over how passionate Molly is about hay.
She leaves to monitor irrigation, or something about water, and takes her Gator to head to the fields.
There’s so much of this ranch I haven’t explored yet; I don’t even know where these hay fields are.
When I wrap up in the afternoon, I shoot Jaxon a quick text to see if he’s still doing the thing with his buddies, and when he says he is, I head home to paint.
There’s a hint of disappointment that, after our rather intimate night last night, he’s not around tonight.
But not all is lost; he texts me more than a handful of times when he is with his friends, carrying on a conversation about what I’m painting, and each time my phone dings, my smile gets bigger.
Saturday morning, I stroll to the lodge, and at ten on the dot, the girls arrive.
The second we walk in to enjoy our day, I know it’s going to be a completely different experience from the last time I was at the spa.
I had been with my future mother and sister-in-law, and it was anything but relaxing.
They were rude to the staff and tried to question me about things that didn't make sense back then. The most shocking conversation was regarding what I would do if I were unhappy with the intimacy of my marriage. It crossed all conceivable lines back then, but now it was crystal clear that she was asking me what I was going to do when I became aware that I couldn’t satisfy my husband.
This time, I am left to my own thoughts and can relax to enjoy the experience.
For the final part of the day, the three of us end up in pedicure chairs together. It doesn’t matter that I had gotten my toes done ten days ago; I am getting a new one, a colorful one, and continuing to erase all traces of my never-wedding.
With the three of us, it isn’t so quiet, and they have a plethora of questions for me. At least they aren’t trying to beat around the bush.
“So,” Molly smiles, “you and Jaxon. What’s up with that?”
My lips roll into my teeth because I don’t know how to answer that question.
“Nothing really. Like everybody else on the ranch, he’s been amazing. I have felt so at home, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to be here.”
“Great, so now that the formal interview portion is over, let’s talk like friends,” Hazel laughs.
“Yeah,” Molly cuts in, “the man watches the sunrise with you every morning. Do you know how many times he’s done that in his life?”
“I mean, I’m sure he’s watched a stupid amount of sunrises,” I answer.
“Not like that,” Molly replies. “But fine, if you don’t want to talk about sunrises, how about the way he eye-fucks you whenever you’re in the same space?”
“Ugh, gross,” Hazel chimes in.
The whole thing makes me burst out laughing.
“Are you guys hooking up?” Molly asks point-blank.
I just shake my head. I don’t say that prospect has been dominating my thoughts.
“Do you want to?” she pushes.
“I plead the fifth,” I say, turning away.
The excitement rolls off them.
“I knew it,” Molly says, rubbing her hands together. I just smile because I don’t want to reveal too much.
“Who are your current love interests?” I ask, trying to get the pressure off of my nonsensical and irrational crush.
“I hook up with the lodge bartender enough for it to be considered an LTR,” Molly laughs. “Nothing serious or exclusive, but we have splendid summers.”
My mouth drops open.
“Like summers? As in plural?” I stress. “Are you not interested in dating him? Or anyone else?”
“This is his third summer here,” Hazel interjects. “He’s hot as hell.”
My eyes dart between the two of them.
“He retreats to Vail during our off-season, and I’m sure he’s banging someone, or many someones there,” Molly says. “We’re exclusive in-season and keep in loose touch during the year.”
I don’t even know what to do with that information.
“Doesn’t that bother you?” I ask. Because, well, we know what happened when I saw my fiancé sleeping with someone.
She just shrugs. “Eh, if something else came along, I’d entertain it, but this works for me for now.”
Something about the way she says it screams that there is much more to that, but I’m too new to ask those kinds of questions.
“Let’s turn the spotlight on Hazel,” Molly follows up with. “Hazie, who are you interested in getting to know?”
She laughs and rolls her eyes. “No one.”
“No? Not the male equivalent of you at River Ranch in Teton Ridge.” And before I have the chance to ask where that is, Molly fills me in. “It’s two towns over, about a forty-minute drive. You passed it getting here.”
“Shut up,” Hazel says to Molly and then looks at me.
“That is top-secret information, and I am racking my brain to come up with an equivalent secret to tell you about Molly, but you already know she was banging Cowboy Cody. No one knows about Colter, okay? We’ve been on a few dates, but my brothers would freaking skewer me if they knew I was seeing someone from River Ranch. ”
I zip my lips with my hand as I note that she said seeing someone and not just interested in getting to know.
“Well, at least we all may or may not have a secret then,” I say, leaning back in my chair.
“Oh, yours isn’t a secret, Del,” Molly laughs. “I know I said he’s eye-fucking you, but you’re also returning the fire.”
When spa day wraps up, I have eggplant purple gracing my toes, and though fingers weren’t on the docket, I had them remove the French manicure that I had been rocking.
All three of us are being indecisive, so instead of heading our separate ways, we end up sitting in Hazel’s office.
It’s the first time I’ve been in her office, and it’s so her.
The neutral colors stand on their own, but the pop of dusty blue accents is the icing on top.
There are a few tasteful horse tchotchkes, but other than that, it’s just… pretty.
With Hazel at the desk, Molly takes a chair, and I sit on the couch. We end up ordering food from the restaurant to continue our day.
After some time passes, Jaxon walks by with his head buried in his phone until Hazel shouts to him. He jumps, and his face morphs from shock to annoyance to a grin when his eyes land on me.
“What the hell?” he says, scanning the food containers. “Why are the three of you in the office on a Saturday evening?” He waltzes right in, sits next to me on the couch, throws his feet on the table, and laces his hands behind his head. “What’d I miss?”
“We had spa day,” Hazel reports before standing and twirling.
“Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten. What’d you all get done?”
We all go through our things, but he doesn’t seem particularly interested in what the other two are saying, and I’m eating up the attention.
“How was Bill’s?” Hazel asks.
“Oh, you know. Bunch of idiots, myself included,” he says. “Gage is seeing someone seriously. Travis is going to break up with Lana. And Owen is thinking about moving to Colorado.”
I have no idea who these people are, but the girls are wide-eyed, staring at him.
“Those are huge scoops, Jax. Any details? Why are they splitting?”
They talk about these people, who I find out are from Amberheart, and just listen as they go back and forth about them. Jaxon keeps including me in the conversation, and I can’t get enough of how he pulls me in with his words and his eyes.
His smile, his swagger, his… his everything.
This freaking man.
As things wrap up, I realize I walked here and don’t really want to walk home. That’s a half-lie; I’d be fine walking, but I’d rather hitch my wagon to Jaxon tonight.
“I saw your car outside, Mol. And your cart, Hazie, but what about you, Del? How are you getting home? I have to head to Cayson’s to help him with something, but I can drop you off if you need it.”
The smile that spreads across my face is a hundred times bigger than it needs to be. It’s like he read my mind.
“I just walked.”
“Well, you can’t walk home! You’ll mess up your pretty purple toes.”
A giggle escapes my lips. A freaking giggle. Jesus, how embarrassing. But I can’t help the way my nose scrunches up with my smile.
I catch Molly waggling her eyebrows at Hazel and laugh that they’re witnessing this.
“You’d certainly be giving me a save,” I say.
“Let’s go, Tatroe,” he says, standing and holding out his hand to help me up.
When I take it, I can’t help but notice the stark contrast to Tripp’s hands.
I’ve never noticed hands before, but Jaxon’s hold an undeniable attraction.
They are calloused and rugged; the hands of someone who works hard, but they come with a gentle touch that makes my heart beat faster.
After we say goodbye, Hazel sings There Goes My Hero and I glance behind me, shaking my head. Returning fire, I turn back to Jaxon and ask him loudly, “So tell me about River Ranch. I hear it’s interesting.”
“That fucking place?” he starts. “What have you heard?”
I turn back at Hazel, who is looking at me with a smile of disbelief, causing the three of us to laugh as Jaxon and I exit the room.
When we get to my cabin, he parks the car and turns to me. “Did you have fun today?”
“I did. It was great. I’m honored to have been part of the spa day. Plus, those treatments were delightful. Did you have fun?”
“It was good. Honestly, I enjoyed watching the sunrise painting come along as much as I liked hanging with my friends. How long will something like that take?”
“I vacillate between loose impressionism and classic impressionism, so it depends on how many details I add. For the sunrise, because I think it’s going to be pretty important, it’ll probably take longer than most.”
“Wow. I can’t wait to see it. Those teasers you were sending me last night have me excited to see the final piece!”
“You can come in to see it if you want,” I suggest. This is a bold move, asking for what I want without asking explicitly.
He closes his eyes and groans. “That is an invitation I would love to accept, but I have to get to Cayson. He’s got a late-night meeting with a lawyer. I can’t imagine what that costs, but he’s doing it, and I told him I’d watch the kids.”
“Oh, no, that makes sense. Totally fine…” I find myself speaking quickly, feeling rejected, even though I know it’s not rejection. At the same time, I wonder what the hell is going on with his brother.
“Can we rain check?” he asks.
“For sure!” I reply. “Thanks for the ride!”
I hop out before he can say anything back and rush to get inside.
When I close the door, I stand there with my hands on it. Why can’t I just play it cool?