Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
September 2024
S tella sat in stunned silence in her hotel room in Manhattan. James Atkinson had just left her alone—maybe for the last time. He’d left her with a startling reminder.
James had never been the one.
It was twelve thirty. Stella had to be up by seven to get ready for another day of her book tour. Interviews and book signings awaited her. After that, she’d head to Boston, then Charleston, then Miami. She’d meet thousands of fans who’d fallen in love with the story of Stella and J.
She wouldn’t tell them what had transpired tonight in her hotel room. That story would remain only for her and James.
Stella undressed and put on her pajamas, thinking about what James had told her about Matt. He’s still in love with you. Maybe you can find your way back. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust James. James was a stranger.
But the truth of her situation was this:
Ever since she and Matt had divorced, they’d gotten closer. They shared secrets with each other. They talked about their separate romances. They talked about the children. Now and then, Stella had checked in on herself, asking, Am I still in love with Matt? And her answer had always been I love Matt. It doesn’t mean we’re in love anymore.
We’re in a modern family relationship.
We had love, but we’ve built something else.
But she realized now she’d been lying to herself.
Ever since the day of their divorce four years ago, she’d wondered if they’d made a mistake. She’d lain in the bed they’d once shared and listened to her heart pound and the wind rush against the windows. She’d ached, asking herself, Should I have handled it differently? Should we have worked harder to stay in love?
When Aunt Esme told her to write a book, Stella immediately thought of James and Greece. Outwardly, it was the biggest story of Stella’s life. It was cinematic. It was alive with emotion, questions, and change.
But in truth, the story of Stella and James was just a simple story of two people who’d met, had an adventure, and gone their separate ways.
The real love story was with Matt.
It wouldn’t fit in any book. It was too mundane. It was a traditional story of two people who’d made mistakes and made messes and fell in and out of love over and over again.
It was the story of nearly every marriage.
Except we really did mess up. We really did let go. We really did sign the papers.
Despite the lateness of the hour, Stella considered calling Matt on the phone. She knew he was going through something with Mandy. He was probably still awake, thinking. But had they really broken up?
She didn’t want to be Matt’s rebound. She didn’t want him to fall into her arms due to heartache.
Instead of calling, Stella texted him.
STELLA: Hey, Matt. I hope you’re well. I’d love to chat on the phone this week if you have time.
STELLA: This book tour is really stressful so far.
STELLA: It’s my dream, obviously. But it’s a lot.
Stella hardly slept that night. The heaviness of meeting James in real life weighed on her chest. Plus, she kept checking her phone to see if Matt was awake yet. At five, he read the message. And at six, he responded.
MATT: I’m awake and ready to talk whenever you want.
MATT: I’m sorry it’s been so stressful.
MATT: Thinking of you.
Stella erupted from bed and paced her hotel room. It suddenly occurred to her how ridiculous it was that she had so many rooms in this suite. She could have fit her entire family in here. She didn’t need all this space!
She wasn’t that important!
Nobody was!
Stella called Matt at six thirty-five. She sat on the white cloud of her bed with a mug of coffee. Her ears rang. But when Matt answered, a wave of calm fell over her.
It’s just Matt.
It’s just the man I married and had children with.
It’s just the safest person I know in the world.
“Good morning,” he said. “How are you?”
Stella laughed gently. “I’m complicated. And you?”
“Same,” Matt said. “But I have a hunch Chloe already told you.”
Stella considered lying. “She might have mentioned something.”
“I figured. She made me a huge bowl of ice cream and watched me eat it. It felt like you were in the room with us,” Matt said with a laugh. “Making sure we’re all okay, as ever.”
Stella had forgotten the ice cream. “Chloe loves her father.”
“I guess that’s why she’s worried about me,” Matt said. “But I’m going to talk to her about it later.”
“She’s older. She gets it,” Stella said.
“Yeah.” Matt sighed.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“Mandy and I have been breaking up and getting back together since the beginning of the year,” Matt confessed. “We really wanted to make it work because she gets along with you and the kids so well. But in the end, she isn’t that happy in Nantucket anymore. She has a job opportunity out West, and she wants to take it.” He sighed again. “She asked me to come.”
Alarm bells rang through Stella’s head. She asked him to leave Chloe behind!
“I told her there was no way,” he said. “Not before Chloe leaves for college. And you know how I feel about Nantucket. It’s home. I wanted to come back from Chicago for a reason.”
Stella breathed a sigh of relief. “I know you really love her. I’m sorry.”
“I guess I loved her,” Matt said. “But all that breaking up and getting back together did a real number on my heart.”
Stella closed her eyes.
“And you?” Matt asked. “What’s going on?”
There was a tentative nature to his voice. It was like he knew she’d seen James.
“I did see him,” she confessed. “James Atkinson.”
Matt made a noise in his throat. “Wow.”
“I know.”
“How did that go?”
Stella sipped her coffee and watched the sun lift higher over Central Park. “We had a great conversation.”
“Was it like no time had passed? Like you were back in Greece together?”
“No,” Stella admitted. “I felt every bit of time between us. It very much felt like we were in our forties in Manhattan.”
Matt was quiet for a moment.
“Are you going to try again?”
It sounded like the mere idea of it would break his heart.
Tears spilled from Stella’s eyes. “No. We’re not.”
“Do you mind if I ask why not?”
Stella’s thoughts raced. If she wanted to get closer to Matt, she needed to be fully honest about James.
“I mean,” Matt pressed, “you clearly really loved him. So much. You put it in that book. And that book has sold a zillion copies.”
Stella’s voice broke. “I loved him, yes. But it was never as much as I loved you, Matt. Never.”
Matt was speechless. Stella was suddenly on her feet. She couldn’t remember getting off the bed.
She could hear Matt crying quietly on the other end.
“I fantasized about that romance,” Stella admitted. “Especially after our divorce. I wondered what it would have been like if he hadn’t left me in Crete like that. If he’d explained.
“And I do believe in second chances in love. I do believe that people make mistakes and find their way back to each other.” She swallowed. “But I don’t think that’s in the cards for James and me.”
Matt sniffed. It was clear he was trying to keep himself together. Stella was, too.
“The next stop on the tour is Boston, right?” Matt asked.
“Boston in two days,” she affirmed.
“I’ll take the day off and drive up,” Matt said.
Stella closed her eyes.
“Chloe can head to a friend’s after school,” Matt said. “I’ll arrange everything.”
“That would be amazing,” Stella agreed.
It suddenly felt as though she hadn’t seen him in years.
She needed Matt’s strong arms around her.
She needed to feel as though she belonged.