Chapter 3
THREE
JOSH
Elbows on the table, I barely keep my head propped up on my fists as Tina paces back and forth across the hotel room.
“Unbelievable,” she mutters, hands flailing as her bare feet stalk across the rug. “You see people do it in books and TV shows, but who actually does it in real life?”
“Apparently, we did.”
That’s not the right thing to say if her glare is any indication. But it does get her to stop pacing. Thank goodness for that. She’s making me—and herself—dizzy.
Considering the hangovers we’re both nursing, neither of us needs to add dizziness to our list of symptoms. Not unless we want to fight over who gets custody of the porcelain goddess while the other settles for a trash bin.
“They should make you take a breathalyzer, or a field sobriety test before letting you sign a legal document,” she says. “At the very least, there should be some sort of twenty-four-hour waiting period.”
“It would be nice for us if they did,” I agree. “But I don’t suppose it does either of us any good now.”
“No, I don’t suppose it does.” She sinks into the seat opposite of me with a huff. “What are we going to do about this?”
“What? You’re not having second thoughts now, are you?” I ask dryly. “I’m hurt.”
She rolls her eyes, but immediately regrets the sudden movement if her wince is any sign.
“I know you’re joking, but it isn’t funny,” she says. “You didn’t run away from one bad marriage to land yourself in another.”
“True. Though, I distinctly remember us both deciding that you’ll be a much better wife than CeCe ever could be.” I give a short laugh. “At least you aren’t hiding any secrets and trying to take my money.”
Her back straightens. “I’m not interested in your money.”
“I know you aren’t.” I give her a tight-lipped grin. “So at least we have that working for us.”
“That doesn’t mean we’re actually going to stay married.” Her eyes narrow. “Does it?”
“No,” I sigh, done with teasing her for the moment. “It doesn’t.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“I’ll take care of it.” I reach for my phone as there’s a knock at the door. “But first, we should let them in.”
Her bright green eyes widen. “Who’s that?”
“Don’t worry. They’re here to help.” I urge her to stay seated and hobble my way to the door. I open it. “You’re here. At last.”
Tina watches as attendants push in four room service carts piled in every hangover recipe available on the strip. Her jaw falls open as two women in scrubs come in carrying medical bags.
“Did you call doctors?” she asks.
“Not exactly.” I slip bills to the room service attendants on their way out and lead Tina over to the couch where the techs are setting up. “You aren’t squeamish about needles are you?”
“No…”
“Good.” I sit next to her. “Now, it’s up to you, but I figured we could both use some hydration and supplements.”
Understanding dawns on her face. “You got us IVs?”
“Fastest way to beat a hangover.” I gesture to the table. “Especially when paired with some hash browns and maybe a little hair of the dog.”
She wrinkles her nose at the offer of a Bloody Mary or Screwdriver. “I think I’ll stick to water.”
“We have that.” I offer her two bottles of water. “Sparkling or still?”
She blinks slowly. “You really are going to make someone the best husband ever.”
“I don’t know about that.” I scoff, even as pride swells inside of me. “But I plan on being a good friend to you for as long as we’re in this situation.”
“Good friend?” Her face lights up as she lifts a lid on the tray and finds a pile of buttermilk pancakes. “You might be the best friend I’ve ever had. If we weren’t already married, I’d marry you right now.”
I laugh at her joke, but her words churn something inside of me.
I can’t explain it. Even though I know she’s joking, and even though we’ve known each other a handful of hours, her approval matters.
Especially because, if my memory serves me correctly, I was the one who suggested we tie the knot last night.
“I’m really sorry I got you into this.” I cover her hand as she slides the stack of pancakes closer. I wait for her to meet my gaze. “I don’t want you to worry. I’ll take care of everything.”
She holds my stare and nods slowly. “Do you by any chance know how we can go about getting an annulment?”
“I hope you don’t mind, but I already called my lawyer.”
She visibly relaxes, prompting me to continue. “He’s putting together the annulment papers as we speak. He’ll send them over for you and your lawyer to look over, and we can file them first thing on Monday.”
“Thank you.” She releases a breath. “Just… thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
I squeeze her hand before letting it go. Silently encouraging her to eat while we’re both hooked up to our IVs.
She’s halfway through the stack, and I’m finishing up a breakfast burrito, when there’s another knock on the door.
“Is that your lawyer already?” she asks.
“It shouldn’t be.” I frown at the door. “He was going to email a draft of the paperwork.”
“Let me guess. You hired a masseuse or acupuncturist who specializes in hangover remedies.”
“I don’t—”
There’s the beep of a keycard on the door and it flies open.
A wild-eyed CeCe fills the frame. Seething, she scans the room until her sight lands on me.
“What the fuck happened to you?” she asks, storming inside. “I waited two hours for you, and you never showed. Do you have any idea how worried I was?” She presses a hand against her belly. “Is that any way to treat the mother of your child?”
“Well, considering ‘our child’ is little more than a fake pregnancy test and sonogram bought off the Internet, I’m not too worried about them.” I smirk. “And as for your feelings, I’m not too worried about them either since you were planning on filing for an annulment today.”
Her jaw falls slack. “I don’t know what you think you heard, but—”
“CeCe, I heard it from your own lips. There’s no use denying it now.”
Fists flexing at her side, she turns her angry stare at Tina. “Who the fuck is this?”
“Tina,” I slide an arm casually around her shoulders. “This is my ex-fiancée.”
“Your ex. Why you—”
“And CeCe,” I interrupt without missing a beat. “This is my wife.”
If possible, her jaw falls even more open. “Your wife.”
“Yes, his wife,” Tina says, sliding her left hand possessively up my chest. “And you’re the woman who planned to drug a nice man and trick him into thinking he slept with your sister so you could empty his bank account.”
CeCe’s cheeks flush red. “I never said I was going to drug him.”
“I’m not sure how else you thought you were going to convince him of something that didn’t happen.
” Tina rests her head against my shoulder.
“Honey, do you think we should call the police so they can start an investigation? While we’re at it, we can let them know someone stole one of our room keys. ”
Tina purses those pretty little lips of hers. “Or maybe we should let the trash see itself out?”
I fight the urge to laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. What do you think, CeCe?”
She opens and closes her mouth once. Twice. Then she spins on her heel and storms back out.
The room falls silent for a beat. Then both of the IV techs let out whoops of laughter.
Tina gives me a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that.”
“Sorry? Why would you be sorry?” I plant a wet, noisy kiss on her forehead. “That. Was. Awesome.”
“Well… it seemed like the least I could do.”
“The look on her face.” I shake my head, still smiling. “I owe you. Big time.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“Yeah, I do. I guarantee I won’t be hearing from CeCe for a long time. If ever.” I give her another squeeze. “Whatever you want to do today, anything at all, we’re doing it.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Anything?”
“Anything.” I nod. “What do you have in mind?”
Her grin turns into a smirk. “You’ll see.”