Chapter 17 #2
I forced a smile. “I was having a moment. Don’t mind me.
” I swallowed down the knot of envy lodged in my throat and managed to sound sincere as I added, “I want you to be happy, both of you. It looks as though you’re on the way to sorting it out.
James, you really don’t have to doubt how Edwin feels.
It’s obvious he’s crazy about you. No more of that ‘I’m only useful as a walking blood bag’ nonsense from you, all right? ”
James, a flush riding his cheekbones, gave me a brief nod, but seemed to be waiting for Edwin to say something. After a pause, Edwin jerked his chin at me. “You’re too far away over there. Park your bum here, next to me.”
I dutifully did as he requested, completely blank as to what could be on his mind. He tutted and grabbed my hand, pulling it in front of him palm down, then placing one of James’ on top of it. He placed his own right hand on top of the pile, then looked at me, his expression hopeful.
“Did you miss everything I said just now? Both of us want you in this with us, Trace. James isn’t ready for anything more than we’ve already done physically, and I won’t push him, ever.
Even if this is as far as he ever wants to go with sex, I want him in my life as more than my shadow.
However, I can’t stop thinking about you.
I felt bad about that, like I was being a selfish tart who was only thinking with his dick.
Except, I realised after talking with the fucking smart-arse that is my sire, that we don’t have to be tied to only one person.
And I knew that, academically, but up here,” he tapped his forehead with his finger, “I’d lost sight of the possibilities.
I’m a gay man in the twenty-first century.
I’m also a vampire. I don’t have to adhere to societal norms from fifty years ago.
It’s not like I didn’t take immense pleasure in flouting the law as often as I could back before I was turned, when I could have been imprisoned for being gay.
Why should I suddenly be so fucking pedestrian now?
” His tone was full of fire and passion, with scorn dripping off the word ‘pedestrian’ as if the mere thought offended him.
I gaped at him, frantically parsing the meaning behind his unexpected word vomit. “You want me and James? And James, you want me and Edwin?” I had to say it out loud in the hope it would sink in.
Both men gave me a firm nod.
“I don’t know what to say.” I want to grab this with both hands. “I mean, yes, obviously I want more than what we’ve done so far, but suppose you decide it’s not what you want and I’m living on your land and our lives are all interconnected. Will that be a problem?”
Edwin’s shrug was less than reassuring, but James pulled his hand free, then forcibly laced Edwin’s fingers with mine.
“Marriages break up and people move away and sell up, or find a way to untangle the threads and live separate lives. Don’t be so negative, either of you.
If anything, Eddie should be the one who’s worried, because he’s taking a chance on not one but two mortals.
Which means, logically, at some point he’ll be—”
“Let’s not discuss that right now, love. It’s a bit of a downer,” Edwin reprimanded him tartly.
James rolled his eyes. “I was just saying.” A vibration in his vicinity had him checking his phone, then he grinned at me a little shyly.
“I’m going to find Charley and Luc. They want to teach me some dance.
Charley’s decided I need to have ‘proper fun’,” he put the words in finger quotes, “and not hang about with the old farts.” His face flamed again even as he smirked.
“Not that you’re old, but, yeah.” He rose and leaned over Edwin’s shoulder, almost nuzzling into him.
“You two should get whatever’s been building up out of your systems while I’m gone. ”
I glanced at Edwin, but his expression was unreadable, although he did flex his fingers against mine. The gesture felt deliberate, intimate.
“Won’t you feel left out?” I asked James carefully.
“Probably,” he admitted, “but I don’t want Edwin missing out on something he wants.” He sighed and draped his arm over the shoulder he wasn’t leaning on. “Besides, I don’t think polyamorous relationships work that way, with everyone being an exact equal part.”
“Get you, sounding like such an expert.” Edwin’s body language was still tense, but this time his smile reached his eyes as he attempted to twist in James’ embrace.
“Fuck’s sake. I’m inexperienced, not incapable of using Google.
I also have lots of free time to research stuff that matters, with no worries about the wrong person seeing my browser history.
Sometimes you can be a right pillock.” His phone vibrated again.
James straightened up and gave Edwin a gentle shove.
“That’ll be Charley again. Go fuck, or whatever it is you two want to do.
I’ll see you later.” He strode through the kitchen and out of the door without a backwards look, his head held high.
Music trickled down the hallway, a heady bass line that permeated the air like a promise.
The sound died to a murmur as the door swung slowly closed on well-oiled hinges.
I took a hasty glug of wine and avoided eye contact with Edwin.
The silence between us stretched and creaked as his grip on my fingers tightened.
I wanted to speak, but even with the wine smoothing the way, my throat was Sahara-dry.
I settled for returning his grip and raising my eyes to find his intense blue gaze on me.
“What?” I finally wheezed when the depth of his stare began to unnerve me.
“If you don’t fuck me soon, I think I’ll explode.”