Chapter 25 #3
Goddess. I felt small myself as I sat beside James, my mind reeling.
How had I not considered this aspect of Edwin’s life before now?
I knew how old he was, when he’d been born, and that he’d served in the army.
It was part of his Council file notes, half a dozen lines that other Council members were given as a courtesy to learn a little about their fellow members.
But somehow, seeing it in black and white meant very little compared to James’ anguished explanation of what he had researched.
It made sense too. What I knew of Edwin as a person before he’d opened his home to me had boiled down to facts: excellent tracker, even better forger, handsome blond party boy who loathed bagged blood and never fucked the same man twice. That wasn’t who he was though.
I chanced a hand on James’ shoulder. He raised his head.
“You might be right about a lot of things,” I began.
“But please don’t ever think you’re not good for him.
Maybe he needs to confront his memories, try to deal with the worst of them, but you’re a fantastic influence for the better.
He’s in love with you, James. You make him smile.
You’ve showed him he can sustain a prolonged relationship with someone other than Baxter, who although I think is amazing, possibly enables some of his unhealthier behaviour. ”
“But we don’t even fuck!” He blushed hotly. “It’s not like we’re boyfriends or anything.” There was a distinct yearning tone to his last statement.
“Not boyfriends?” I argued. “What else would you call it? Besides,” more gently, because I could tell it embarrassed him, “you don’t have to be sticking a penis in a hole, or even have a sexual relationship at all. You are definitely boyfriends.”
He surprised me by choking out a laugh, even though his face was still ablaze. “This is why you’re good for Eddie. You’re blunt like him.” He sighed again. “And you fuck him. He definitely likes that part.”
“He does,” I agreed, “but I hope that’s not the only reason he likes me.
” I could feel a whine creeping in, so I shut it down quickly.
“You know, even if it is, I’ll take it. I can’t quite believe I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with two such lovely men recently.
Finding a new place to live has been wonderful.
A relationship, even a fuck buddy one, on top of that, is riches I’m not sure I deserve. ” You definitely don’t.
James shot me a puzzled frown. “I’m not sure you have to deserve a relationship, Trace. But I don’t think Eddie only likes you for your…cock.” He stumbled over the word, but managed to keep going. “He likes you. You know, for you.” He swallowed. “Like, I, uh, what I mean is…”
“It’s okay.” I cut across his stutters in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. “Where I’m concerned, your feelings, whatever they are right now, are a work in progress. Am I correct?”
He nodded violently, his face puce with embarrassment. “Sorry. I’m such a dork at this stuff.”
To give him a moment to collect himself, I stared at the sun blinking through the trees across the road.
“You’re not nearly as much of a dork as you might think.
” He scoffed. “No, seriously. You’re honest, and to my knowledge, somewhat later than some in discovering who you are.
There’s no shame in either of those things.
Would I care if you’d slept with every man who’d so much as bought you a drink?
No, I wouldn’t, because I believe in enjoying all the pleasures of the flesh if the mood strikes and no one gets hurt.
But I tell you this, James. There’s something rather magical about seeing someone with limited sexual experience admit their desires and learn how to act on them.
It’s incredibly flattering you’ve felt safe enough to allow me to participate, even peripherally.
I know you probably think you’re moving at a glacial pace, but your honesty is one of the things I admire most about you. ”
There was a protracted silence in the front garden. Finally, James gulped, “Uh, thank you. Like, a lot.”
“You’re welcome. Now, I really should get cleaned up.
You should probably do the same, and maybe eat before you sleep.
” I didn’t want to nag him, but he’d worried me last time when he’d almost keeled over.
“May I kiss you goodnight? Or is that good day?” I got to my feet and took a step back to give him time to consider.
He took a few shallow breaths, then a deeper one, before he lifted his head to look me square in the eye.
“Maybe my cheek?” he whispered. Goddess, he’s fucking perfect.
I slipped one hand under his thick, messy fall of hair, which I now knew covered such a pretty secret. Allowing my thumb to wander, I caressed his ear lobe, then when he sighed against my palm, ran it lightly up to the pointed tip.
He shuddered and his back arched. “Oh God…”
“Nice?”
“Yeah. Very.”
“I’ll lick and nibble them one day, if you want me to.” Before he could answer with more than the shocked gasp that crossed his lips, I dropped a featherlight kiss on his cheek. “Sweet dreams, faerie princeling.”
I knew without looking back that he watched me until I disappeared around the corner and out of sight.