Twenty
OWEN
It’s an hour before I have to leave to get on the bus. I have never in my life dreaded away games, but now everything in me is resisting. I need to stay here with Zak. He’s still a flight risk. Without me being here for eight entire days, he could talk himself into leaving a hundred times over.
I know he wants to be here. I know he wants me.
It’s something I can feel as much as see.
But he’s been listening to the negative voices in his head for so long and that head is fucking stubborn.
I don’t know where he’s gotten the impression that he needs to work for every single thing he has in life and can’t accept help, but I haven’t gotten him to a place where he understands that it’s not the case.
Asking for and accepting help is just as praise-worthy as plowing your own way.
Leaving him to sleep, I slip into the bathroom and take a quick shower.
My bag is already packed and by the door, so I don’t have to worry about it this morning.
It’s new—one of those cool ones that you can zip your hanging garments in and it curls around into a duffle bag.
There are pockets for literally everything, including your shoes! It’s the best $50 I ever spent.
I spend a few minutes placing a food order to ensure Zak has enough food for the next week as I go about making breakfast and ordering my rideshare to bring me to the bus. I’m just mixing my protein shake when I turn around and find Zak in nothing but my hoodie.
My chest aches at the sight of him. Still rumpled with sleep, hair all a mess, pillow creases in his cheek, bare legs exposed, and my hoodie sagging to just under his wonderful ass cheeks. Setting down my drink, I hold my arms out to him and he slinks into my chest with a heavy sigh.
I hug him tightly, trying to convey just how much I need him. “Please, please be here when I get back,” I whisper. “Don’t talk yourself out of this. Can you do that for me?”
He takes a deep breath and nods. “Yes.”
“I really can’t tell you how much I need you here,” I insist, squeezing him a little tighter. His arms match my grip, his fingers digging into my back. “I hate that I have to leave you for so long right away.”
“You’ll call me though, right?”
“All the time. We’ll text constantly and call whenever we can. We can video chat too. It’s going to suck, but it’ll be over before you know it.”
Zak nods and we stand in silence for a minute.
Taking a breath, I say, “I left my computer out. The passcode is on a sticky note right when you open it. The access card to the common areas of the condo complex is hanging on the fridge. There’s a pool, weight room, rec room, and other areas that I admit to not having visited but are pretty cool.
I have food being delivered around ten. Promise me you’ll eat. ”
“I promise.”
With my hand in his hair, I pull his head gently back so I can look at him. “I know you have a very strong aversion to using the apps I put on your phone, but please do. We’re far from your friends, but I don’t want to cut you off from them. Take a rideshare to visit, or have them come over.”
“They can come over?” he asks.
Sighing, I kiss his lips lightly. “Zak, I want this to be your home. You’re not a guest. You’re not a prisoner.
Of course, you can have your friends over.
Order delivery if you want it. If there’s something you need that you can’t find here, have it delivered or go buy it.
Be my kept man and one day, you can return the gesture and I’ll be your kept man. ”
Zak laughs and closes his eyes, leaning his head into my hold.
“I want nothing more than to see you happy. Okay?”
He nods. “Owen?”
“Mm?”
“Am I… am I your boyfriend?”
There’s a knock on my door and I glance back. “Come on, Vinny. You’re making the car wait.”
I sigh. “There’s breakfast on the counter. Eat. Help yourself to anything. Including the sex toys.”
His face heats up and I give into the temptation to lick him. He laughs, pushing me away. But I pull him close and seal my mouth to his until Linden pounds on the door again.
“I’ll introduce you to my friends when we get back. We’re going to miss the bus if I do it now. Linden has no chill, so prepare yourself.”
Zak nods. “Hurry home. And… win.”
I grin, place another kiss on his lips. Keeping his eyes locked with mine, I say, “Yes, you’re my boyfriend,” and head for the door with my protein shake in one hand and my duffle flung over my other shoulder.
My shoes are already on and I grab my coat on the way out.
Zak’s smile and flush fill my head as I open the door and step into the hallway.
Menlo’s leaning against the open elevator doors, watching me expectantly. But Linden’s trying to see past me as I close the door and lock it.
“Who are you hiding?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.
“My boyfriend,” I tell him, pushing past him to the elevator.
As I suspected, Linden goes from zero to two hundred in a second as he spins back to the door, ready to barrel through it.
“Let’s go,” Menlo says. “I’m sure he’ll let you meet his boyfriend another time.”
“Why are you hiding him from us?” Linden asks, pouting, as he finally joins us in the elevator.
“I’m not hiding him. We were in and out of the condo two days ago, about a dozen times. Also, you can be overwhelming,” I say, punching his arm affectionately.
He huffs. “I’m not overwhelming. I’m high energy.”
“Like a puppy,” I agree. “Which can be overwhelming.”
Linden continues to pout as we pile into the car to head to the bus. Since the first game is in Vancouver, we’re definitely flying. It’s a long ass flight with a layover in Chicago.
Once we’re in the car, I pull out my phone and type Zak a quick text message. Just a reminder.
Me
I will chase you.
Stuffing the phone in my pocket, I stare out the window as the city slowly moves by.
“So that’s why you’ve been so quiet, huh?” Menlo asks.
I glance at him and nod. “Yep.”
“Where’d you find a boyfriend?”
Linden is leaning forward to look around Menlo and listen.
“New Year’s Eve party.” I raise my brows and he smirks.
“I didn’t know you’ve been seeing someone since then.”
“I haven’t been. I’ve gotten together with him a few times. Run into him a few other times. Kidnapped him after our horrendous loss against Boston. And won’t be letting him go this time.”
“It’s serious already?”
Good question. I turn my attention to the window as I consider it. There isn’t debate, not this time. Just this intense feeling that I’ve found the only place I want to be. I found the only human I want to wake up to every morning.
“Maybe,” I say, but not because I’m unsure about what we share between us. I won’t commit to it being serious out loud because Zak has a lot of demons to fight. He’s stronger than he thinks he is and if he’ll let me, I’ll fight his demons with him. But he has to let me.
I’m not sure if he’s ready to do that.
In our expedition around the city the other day, I not only learned his last name but also that he’s six years younger than me at twenty-two. There’s an excellent chance he’s not in the same place I am. That’s okay. I’ll be whatever he needs me to be, including patient.
“What’s his name?” Linden asks.
“Zak,” I tell him, glancing at him with a smile.
Linden sighs and sits back in his seat. “That’s a cool name.”
Menlo chuckles and pats his thigh. His hand lingers and after a minute, Linden’s lands on top of his. I look away, once more musing over the fact that these two are like an old married couple. The familiarity between them. The comfort. Their lack of hesitation when it comes to affection and touch.
The world isn’t a nurturing kind of place for that kind of friendship. Men are supposed to be masculine, unfeeling, only showing affection toward the smaller, softer sex.
Linden and Menlo challenge that ideal at every turn.
I love that for them. Linden is sweet, slightly na?ve, and all sorts of innocent.
Menlo has been protecting him since they became friends, making sure Linden is comfortable to be himself and fighting every single fight when someone tries to talk down to Linden.
Their friendship is beautiful and if it turns into something more, it’ll be even more beautiful.
I’m not sure it will, since they both seem to be oblivious of what’s between them. Then again, they may both be very aware and talk about it constantly. There’s a very good chance that this is what they are—the best of friends.
“What does he do?” Linden asks after a while. “Does he like hockey?”
I skip the first question because I know Linden will be sidetracked by the second when I answer. “He has no idea what a puck is.”
The horror and disbelief on his face make me grin.
“In fact, he’s pretty uninformed about all sports and the sports people who play them.”
“Oh, god,” Menlo says, laughing under his breath as he looks at a mortified Linden with me.
Linden looks like a fish out of water—eyes bugging out and mouth opening and closing silently. The first sounds are just unintelligible sounds. The first word that manages to come out is, “How?”
“Believe it or not, not everyone is a fan of sports. Blasphemy, I know.”
He still looks shell-shocked when the car pulls up to LaGuardia. The driver has the trunk open, handing us our bags as we get back to him. I tuck my jacket over the top of mine and swing it over my shoulder.
Half of our team is standing in the self-check lines to check their bags. The others are already in the TSA security line. Since the three of us only bring carry-ons and personal items, we head right for security.
Daryn is at the back and offers us an up nod. His eyes land on a still somewhat dazed Linden. “What happened to him?”
“He just learned that there are people in the world who don’t like sports,” Menlo says, patting his back comfortingly.
“It’s treachery,” Linden says, looking at Daryn expectantly. He needs to agree, obviously. Never mind that ‘treachery’ isn’t quite the appropriate word for what he means.
Daryn’s been on the team long enough not to bother correcting Linden. “Indeed,” he agrees.
Linden looks at me as if he was proving a point. I just shrug.
Since the majority of the team has pre-check, we make it to our gate early.
Linden and Menlo head off to find snacks, our preflight ritual.
I can see Coach and Assistant Coach close to the windows, both their heads bent over a tablet.
I wonder if they’re studying plays or maybe Vancouver’s last game.
Do they ever rest?
The boys return and Linden places a bag in my lap. I dutifully open it and find a handful of my favorite snacks. This is also routine. I grip his arm and thank him. He beams, turning that mega smile to Menlo, and then peering into his own bag.
Menlo and I share a smile.
Having Linden around keeps us all smiling.
He’s just got that positive energy that you can feel throughout your entire body.
There have been times in the past when I’m stressed or otherwise not feeling myself and I’ve sought out Linden.
Just being in his presence has a way of making you feel better.
I check my phone to see if Zak’s responded. He hasn’t. I try not to worry about the lack of a text back. He hasn’t had a phone in who knows how long. It probably hasn’t crossed his mind to check it.
As I hold it in my hand, a different message comes through. This one from Gravity.
Gravity
FYI, Zak can’t cook. He’s freaking out about the food you sent him.
Ah.
Me
Thanks for the heads up.
I spend the next twenty minutes searching for pre-made food subscriptions and find one that looks good.
The meal portions are decent and the price looks reasonable for what you get.
When I look at the money involved, it’s not so much that I’m frugal or afraid of spending too much.
It’s making sure that the product/price ratio is reasonable.
I don’t care that I can afford the $200 steak.
What the fuck makes any small piece of cow worth even $100? ! It’s insane.
After setting up the first few days’ worth of deliveries to arrive in the next few hours, I send the confirmation text and email on to Zak. This time, his response is immediate.
Zak
You don’t need to send even more food. I’m not going to be able to eat what you had delivered already.
Me
These are different. All you have to do is heat them and eat them.
Zak
Is that the tagline?
I chuckle.
Me
I have no idea.
Zak
Are you on the plane?
Me
Not yet. Sitting at the airport. Like so many things in life, traveling is a game of hurry up and wait.
Zak
Thank you for the food. And breakfast.
Me
I’ll give you the rings of Saturn.
There are a few emojis in response but I’m not sure he knows what to say.
The pre boarding announcements begin and we get to our feet.
I tuck my bag of snacks into the side pocket dedicated just for that and pull up the ticket on my phone.
We wait until those who need assistance, those with kids, and active-duty military board and then it’s our turn to fill the business class.
Flying has never been my favorite way to travel. While I know crashes and air disasters aren’t common, they make me nervous. Usually, I have an audiobook ready, but I was so focused on Zak that I hadn’t thought to download one.
When I get to my seat, I pull out my bag of snacks and push my duffle into the overhead compartment. My phone pings as I buckle into my seat. Zak responding to my earlier text.
Zak
Please always catch me.
Fucking hell, he already has my heart in a vice grip.