Thirty-Two
OWEN
I love having Owen home. It’s only been a few days, but I love waking up to him every morning and knowing that he doesn’t have to go to practice and he doesn’t have away games for a while. He’s here and he’s all mine.
He didn’t win the Stanley Cup. He didn’t make it past the string of games with the vicious Tampa Bay Pirates.
They won two games but lost four, which apparently knocked them from the run.
Now Tampa is playing against the Dallas Bulldogs for the championship.
There’s a game today and since I’m heading out with my friends, I think Owen’s headed to Menlo and Linden’s to watch the game.
Yeah, so tell me why I’m in a car currently driving toward the Catskills instead of home with my man?
The answer is simple. It’s for my man. I finally found the inspiration for our suits, but I needed something specific.
Which put me on a quest to find exactly the right material.
Edgar found an ad for an estate sale outside the city, and it was a big, rich estate with lots of clothes and blankets and other things.
He called and talked to the lady who agreed to let us in a day earlier than when it would open to the public. Then Clarinda decided we’d make a day of it by going on a wine tour in the Catskills after we stopped at the estate. We rented a car and everything.
I’m in the second-row seats with Gravity while Edgar drives and Clarinda is in the front seat.
Apparently, Danielle volunteered to watch their siblings while Clarinda joined us.
Auntie Faith is away this week on a conference trip or something.
I listened to Clarinda explain over and over this wasn’t just her going down the road or even to the other side of the city. We were going upstate.
I could practically hear Danielle’s eyes roll as she responded with, “I know how to take care of them. I just chose not to.”
Honestly, I think we were all pretty proud of her for volunteering to watch the kids. They’re good kids. We had no doubt at all that she could watch them. I’ve watched them all and I have zero experience with kids.
“So,” Edgar says. “How’s Owen? Do you lurrve him?” I roll my eyes, but he’s not done. “Are you going to have his babies? Are you guys gonna get marrriieedd?”
My breath catches because… I can see it. The car fades away, and I’m walking through a vineyard. The sun is bright, shining down on me as I walk forward. Touching the vines, peeking through the rows at people smiling and shifting to catch a glimpse of me.
There are flower petals on the ground for me to follow. Like a trail through a maze. My heart races as I make a turn and suddenly there’s a row of cherry blossoms overhead, their petals raining down. It’s enchanting. Magical. I walk through it like they’re rain and they cling to my suit.
My suit—which is neither black nor white—has a train, but it barely touches the ground.
There’s a crown of greens and flowers on my head and a necklace heavy on my chest under my open shirt.
The shirt I wear is short, but is still a button-down with a collar.
My tie is real—not a clip on. I even tied it myself.
My pants are low on my hips and Owen’s name is peeking out from where he wrote it last. Just the tips of the letters. When I’m hard, my dick is the ‘i’ in Vincent.
I’m not hard now, but only because I wore something special for Owen from his toy chest. Even though I’m not sure what the purpose of it is, I can appreciate how it straps around my dick like a glove.
I’m actually afraid to get hard in it because it might hurt.
Yet that fear is also edged with excitement and anticipation.
When I shift just right, you can see the outline of the contraption through my slacks.
They’re made of a thin material that hugs my ass in a way I know Owen will just love. The pants are snug on my thighs and then looser as they go down to my boots. Yes, I’m wearing boots. I love my boots. Even if they’re scuffed and old. They’re comfortable and very ‘me.’
The jacket is short; the front is open with the hem just touching my ribs. The back is long, that’s where the train comes from. The sleeves of the jacket are three-quarter length and roll at mid forearm length.
I’m nervous as I continue to walk through the falling cherry blossom petals and follow the petal path.
But when it curves and I turn the corner, my breath catches and I almost come to a stop.
There he is. The man who loves me. The man who gave me my life back.
Who refused to give up on me and would not let me run when I got scared. He’s giving his life to me. All of it.
I’m so overcome with emotion I can’t even see how the suit I made him looks on him. All I see is the way he looks at me. The love is shining brightly in his eyes as he waits for me.
He’s getting closer, but I think that’s because Gravity has taken my hand and is urging me up the aisle.
There are people surrounding us, but I don’t see them.
I barely hear them. When I’m close enough for Owen to reach, he does.
He pulls me to his chest and kisses me deeply.
Right there in front of everyone. In front of the officiant.
I wonder if he knows he’s gone out of order.
It doesn’t matter. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hug myself tightly to him.
“Zak?”
I blink several times and look around. My heart clenches. As I’m learning, I have quite the imagination now that I don’t have to focus on keeping myself alive every day. I’m incredibly disappointed I’d imagined that moment, though.
“You okay?” Gravity asks.
I nod. “Yep. Yes, I love him, Edgar.”
Edgar grins. I can see his reflection in the windows.
“It’s nice having him home.”
“Think he’s going to get traded?” Gravity asks and my attention snaps to him.
“What?”
“Traded. Think New York is going to keep him next season?”
I stare, completely confused by this concept.
Gravity sighs. “Traded means that one team can trade a player or players to another team for a player or players. It happens frequently.”
“Oh my god,” I say, feeling panicky. Owen and I have talked about trades but for some reason, it really hits me right now. Maybe it’s the way Gravity asks. As if it’s going to happen. Tomorrow. The next day. Not some far off date in the future but right now.
“Okay, okay,” Gravity says, taking my hand and trying not to laugh at me. “This is not at all a cause for concern.”
“Because it would only be the other New York team, right? Because he lives here?” I ask.
Clarinda shifts in her seat to look at me with concern.
“Technically speaking, there are three New York teams, but that’s irrelevant. When you’re traded, where you live doesn’t matter. You move to be with your team.”
“Oh, my god!” He could leave! Why didn’t he tell me that?!
“Woah, stop,” Gravity said, gripping my hair and forcing me to look at him. “You understand that you’d go with him, right?”
“Go?”
He sighs and pulls me in for a hug. But the only thing I can think of is he’s going to leave me!
“Yes, Zak. You’d go with him. Why would he leave you behind?”
“He has to leave me when he has away games,” I point out. “But he comes back. If he’s traded, he won’t come back.”
“Look what you did,” Clarinda says, sighing.
Before I can fully lose my fucking mind, a phone is shoved in my face. “Talk,” Gravity says.
“Zak?”
“Owen,” I say. “You’re going to be traded? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”
“That’s not what I said,” Gravity says.
“What? No. I’m not being traded. I suppose there’s a chance for that, but my agent isn’t concerned and based on the last conversation I had with management, I’m here for next season. Take a breath, love. I’m here.”
“You’re not being traded,” I say, taking a breath and closing my eyes.
“I only asked if you thought he would be,” Gravity says. “I didn’t mean to make you freak out, Zaky.”
I nod, but I’m too busy catching my fucking breath and keeping my heart in my chest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were concerned about that,” Owen says.
“What if you are?” I ask. “Where will you go?”
“Listen,” Owen says, his voice soft. “No matter where I go, we’ll talk about it. And Zak?”
“Yes?”
“I will never leave you. The answer to a trade is pretty simple. You come with me, or I don’t go. Understand?”
I nod. “Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”
“Hush, babe. It’s fine. If I thought it was a possibility, we’d already have been talking about it.
We’re a team, love. You and me. I will never make a big decision like this without talking to you.
My career no longer just affects me, but both of us.
You’re safe with me, Zak. I’m not going anywhere. ”
Finally, I relax back into the seat. “Okay. Thank you.”
“Let me talk to Gravity, okay? I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”
I nod. “Love you.” Handing the phone to Gravity, I say, “Owen wants to talk to you.”
He winces as he takes it. “I swear, I didn’t think he’d fall apart!”
I don’t hear what Owen says, and Gravity’s face remains fairly neutral after that. Then he hangs up. He looks at me and gives me a tight hug. “I’m truly sorry, Zak.”
“It’s okay. I think I need to learn more about hockey.”
* * *
We barely make it through the things we wanted to see at the estate when Clarinda’s phone rings. She answers and the three of us can hear the screams on the other end.
“Danny, what’s wrong?” Clarinda asks.
Danielle’s loud enough in response that we can also hear her voice clear as day.
She’s losing her shit. “I don’t know! Logan’s been crying for an hour.
And now the twins are crying. Dante has his hands over his ears and keeps looking at me like I need to do something, but I keep trying and I don’t know what to do.
They won’t stop. Dusty threw up and now there’s also vomit all over the place. ”
“Is Logan hurt?” Clarinda asks.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. He won’t answer me. The twins won’t answer me. Dante and Janessa don’t know. I was making them something to eat. And then he started wailing.”
“Where’s his bink?”
“In his hand. Please tell me how to make them stop!”
Clarinda looks at us, panic welling in her eyes. “Did you try comforting Logan? The twins will stop crying once Logan does.”
“I tried. He doesn’t want me. Just screams louder. I’m sorry. I swear, I’m trying.”
“I know, Danny.”
Pulling out my phone, I call Owen. He answers right away. “I’m not leaving you.”
I smile and then shake my head. “Clarinda’s baby brother is crying and won’t stop. Now the twins are crying. Danielle is freaking out. We’re still three hours away.”
“I’m not sure what I can do, but I’ll see. Text me the address, sunshine.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Anything you need,” he says and hangs up. I text him right away and then look at Clarinda. “Owen’s on the way.”
Clarinda repeats this to Danielle. We stay on the phone until we hear the doorbell twenty minutes later and Owen comes in.
He’s not alone. I hear other voices. I think it’s Linden and Menlo.
We wait anxiously. Straining to hear anything.
Logan stops crying. Then it’s just the twins. Finally, finally, their cries stop too.
Clarinda sags against the side of the car. “They’re okay?”
“Yeah,” Danielle says, sniffling.
“Are you okay, Danny?”
“I’m sorry. I swear, I tried.”
“I know. I know. You did good, Danny. You really did. And you did the right thing. We’re on our way, but it’s going to be a bit.”
“Okay.” Danielle sniffs. “I’m sorry I ruined your day.”
“You didn’t, Danny. Sometimes you make sacrifices for your family. It’s hard and sucks at times, but you love them, so it’s all worth it. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Call me if you need anything. Okay?”
“Yes.”
Clarinda looks at us when she hangs up. “I’m sorry. I have to go home.”
We hug her between us. “As you said, family is worth it,” Edgar says.