Thirty-Four
OWEN
I stare at myself in the mirror and bite my lip. The suit fits like a damn glove. Exactly right. Just how a suit should fit. Shifting to the side, I take another examination as I lift my hand.
The pants are mostly untouched. Except that I cut out about four inches of fabric on each side, all the way down my legs.
From waist to ankle. And replaced it with sexy black and white lace.
Yes, that made it transparent and also assured that I’m going commando, but once the idea was in my head, I couldn’t get it out.
It’s sexy. It’s beautiful. I love everything about it.
I’m also nervous as fuck.
The jacket is meant to be worn without anything underneath it because of the same lace treatment. It has lace sleeves and panels down the sides as well. Completely transparent, while the front of the jacket is untouched. Two buttons hold it closed so it dips low to reveal my chest.
Obviously, I couldn’t leave the back alone. I have lace fabric ruffled down over my ass and then covering the cutout on my back where it’s corseted together. Honestly, this might be one of my absolutely favorite pieces ever.
But… I’m supposed to be wearing this tonight to the award ceremony or whatever it is for the hockey guys. This is the event that Owen lined up for the suits. It’s the event that we’ll be handing out my new business cards.
I’m so terrified I feel sick. I don’t even have my GED yet. Who’s going to hire me to tear their clothes apart?
“You know business cards don’t normally list qualifications, right?” Owen asked when I shared this fear with him. “No one’s going to ask, either. We’re not putting it on your card.”
Then there was the other fear… everyone was going to hate it. Why is being an adult so scary?
Owen steps up behind me and I grin because I adore his suit so damn much. Turning around, I take him in. It’s the first time I’ve seen all the pieces on him and damn, he’s so… yummy.
I truly did nothing to his pants because I wanted the entire focus to be on his jacket.
The front and back panels have words on them.
Important words. Among them are my favorite—you’re not confused, you’re important.
There are so many positive quotes on here directed at the LGBTQIA+ community, but they can also be felt no matter your situation.
His pockets are on top of the wordy panels to break them up a little.
His sleeves are solid, too. The stitching is wide and obvious, making it intentionally look handmade and custom.
Because I thought it needed a little more oomph, his lapels are double stitched and there are matte black rivets along the stitching.
The back panel is broken up by a cinch in the middle. A two-inch strip of fabric that helps shape the suit back—complete with wide stitching to make it stand out. And because it needed some texture, there’s also a length of chain that hangs a bit with the panel.
He’s solidly in black and white, but I’m hoping that makes the statement bolder.
“I love this,” Owen says. “It’s stunning. I know I have very little to compare it to, but you’ve outdone yourself.”
I roll my eyes playfully as I fiddle with the fit and adjust how it sits on his shoulders. “You’re biased. You sleep with the designer.”
His hands land on my hips and he pulls me to him. “And I can’t wait to get him home again. I don’t recall telling you to wear something that’s basically lingerie to this event, love.”
Owen’s voice is all deep and growly. I might have to rethink the commando thing. An erection is going to be obvious, and one is definitely coming if he keeps talking like that.
“I wanted to look pretty,” I say, turning my reddening face away. Not that I can truly hide my blush right now. It’s far too hot, so I know I’m bright red and I’m far too close to hide it.
“You’re stunning,” Owen says quietly, pressing his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my body to his. Thankfully, I’m not the only one sporting a chubby right now. “Absolutely breathtaking, Zak. You’re going to be the most beautiful person there tonight.”
“I really look okay?” I ask, unable to contain my fear any longer. “Like… I didn’t overdo it? I really need you to be honest.”
“Zak, listen to me. Are you listening?” His hands move up to my body to cradle my face. I nod. “These suits are going to take the show. Mark my words, you’re going to be an instant hit. They’re amazing, my love. Simply amazing.”
I nod, swallowing. I’m not sure if I’m more terrified by his predicted (and likely completely delusional) outcome or the opposite where everyone hates them, and we’re ridiculed.
The knock on the door barely reaches us and Owen kisses my lips again. “Our entourage is here,” he says, winking at me.
Honestly, it’s kind of adorable that Owen has Linden and Menlo picking him up all the time.
They’re like three peas in a pod sometimes and it’s cute.
The way they laugh together and have their own inside jokes.
Watching them watch hockey can be intense but also hysterical as they rib each other and debate things I’m certain are foreign words.
Owen hands me the scarves and waits expectantly.
I thought we might need a splash of color.
When he said black tie event, I interpreted that to mean black and white.
No idea why, but that was the impression I got, right or wrong.
So I made a couple colorful scarves out of authentic kimono fabric that I fell right in love with.
When I showed them to Owen, he lit up. I think this man likes color.
I settle one around his neck, adjusting it just right, and then turn to the mirror to do mine. Taking one last breath, I nod. “Okay, ready.”
Linking our hands together, Owen leads me to the front door. Just as another knock comes, Owen pulls it open.
“I feel like we’re picking up dates for the prom,” Linden says as he looks at Menlo, but then he turns his gaze to us. His eyes widen and Jesus the way he looks at me. There’s a moment of silence and he says, “I can honestly say you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, Zak.”
Owen laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing my temple.
“No, I mean that,” Linden says, looking at Menlo with confusion. “Isn’t he?”
Menlo grins, his eyes shifting back to mine. He makes a show of looking me over, effectively making me blush, and then offers me a wink. “Absolutely, Lin. He’s sexy as fuck.”
Linden nods. “If we’re picking up dates, Zak’s mine.”
“Not a chance,” Owen says, slapping Linden’s hand away. “You don’t get to touch him, bro. Find your own man. This one is all mine.”
“You’re supposed to share with your friends,” Linden says as he turns for the elevator.
Menlo sighs. “Pray for patience,” he mutters before following. “That’s entirely inappropriate, Linden.”
“What is?” Linden asks, looking at Menlo with confusion.
Owen and I glance at each other, sharing an amused smile. He once told me that Linden and Menlo are like an old married couple. I didn’t see it at first, but it’s more than obvious now that I’ve gotten to know them a little.
A limo is waiting for us just in front of the lobby.
As we climb in, I’m reminded of the third time Owen and I found each other.
The escort job that Gravity pushed on me because he was so sick.
At the time, I was filled with a mix of anxiety and anticipation.
Excitement at seeing Owen again danced with fear of him finding me out.
I smile fondly at the memory now as I snuggle into Owen’s side.
Menlo and Linden are still bantering over what it means to share someone and we listen as the limo takes us to our destination.
I don’t know where it is, nor do I give that any thought.
I try to focus on the chatter instead of my nerves.
Going to the New Year’s Eve party in something I made was different. I was going anonymously. No one would know that I made it. Love it or hate it, I could hide.
I’m not hiding this time. Owen won’t let me. I’m excited about it, truly I am. But I’m also absolutely terrified. My stomach hasn’t stopped churning since I woke up this morning.
I’m thankful it’s almost June and warm again.
Cold still brushes me sometimes, but I’m almost always chilly.
There’s no time that I won’t take a hoodie over wearing a t-shirt.
Even if it’s ninety out. Maybe it’s a self-conscious thing.
Or maybe it’s my body reminding itself that it won’t be long before I have to fight to stay warm when the winter comes.
We step out and I’m staring up at a familiar space. It’s the same space where the benefit was held. Owen grins at me when I recognize it.
Menlo and Linden move ahead, still talking about the difference between sharing a piece of pie and a lover.
I wonder if they’re going to be on that conversation all night.
I kind of hope they will. It’s funny. But as we move closer and their voices fade into the surrounding noises, my anxiety picks up again.
People are looking. They see what we’re wearing. They’re judging.
“People might laugh,” I say, gripping Owen’s hand tightly.
“People might end up with a broken nose,” Owen answers.
I huff, but a smile pulls at my lips anyway.
“Zak, these are absolutely breathtaking suits. You did an amazing job. Be proud of them. I can’t tell you how proud of you I am.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod and try to straighten my shoulders. I can do this. We’re almost there. It’s almost done.
Who am I kidding?! The night hasn’t even started yet!
“Vinny.”
And it starts. My heart leaps into my throat and refuses to dislodge.
We turn and come face to face with people I vaguely recognize. Hockey people, obviously. This is a hockey thing. But do they all play hockey? It isn’t until Owen calls one of them Lix that they become familiar. That’s not a name you can exactly forget.
“Where did you get this?” Noah asks, looking at Owen’s jacket. I can see his eyes moving, reading the words. His smile is so wide when he points at one of them and looks at Lix with excitement.
Owen beams at me. I’m hiding slightly behind him and give him a smile. Trying to make it look brave and confident instead of wanting to run away.
“Zak made them,” Owen says. I can hear the pride in his voice and damn, does it make me feel good. That is, until he pulls me out from behind him and both of their eyes are on me. Examining me. Taking in my suit.
Oh god, I’m going to pass out.
“Wow,” Noah says, stepping closer. “That’s the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Wait till you see the back,” Owen says. He holds my hand up over my head and spins me in a half turn.
“Oh my god, Zak,” Noah says, excitedly. “You really made this?”
I nod, my ears heating. There are other people looking now. Eyes turn our way. Someone points.
I’m going to die right here.
“I didn’t know things like this exist,” Noah says. “I need something like this.”
“He only makes one of a kind, but he’s open for commissions,” Owen says, turning me back around. He hands Noah one of my brand-new cards. My stomach flips.
Noah beams at me. “I’ll definitely be in touch. While I try to avoid these things, the promise of wearing something so beautiful might lure me out.” He peers up at Lix. “As long as you’re here.”
“Always,” Elixon says, kissing his forehead.
“Did you hear?” Noah asks, looking at Owen. He moves in a little closer. “I’m heading to L.A. I think they’re announcing my trade tonight.”
“Oh?” Owen says, smiling. “We’re happy about that?”
Noah shrugs. He looks shyly up at Elixon. “We’re moving together where we both get to start anew. So yeah, we’re excited.”
I love the way they look at each other.
“Congrats, man,” Owen says. “I’m really happy for you.”
Noah smiles, turning his pretty face our way again.
Then we’re surrounded. By Owen’s friends and teammates.
Even by strangers neither of us know. Noah and Elixon back away and the crowd is left around us, which seems to be right where they want to be as they comment on our suits and Owen proudly tells them all I made them.
He hands out cards like they’re money, beaming the entire time.
It takes a while for me to find my feet. To get comfortable in this moment and confident in myself. Well, maybe not actually confident, but I’ve been feigning confidence for so long in some areas that the act comes easily enough.
By the time we’re ushered toward the tables, I almost feel confident. There wasn’t a single nasty remark. At least, not where I could hear it. I’m breathless and kind of jittery when we’re shown to our seats.
Owen pulls my chair close and presses his lips to my temple. “You’re a hit tonight, sunshine. Let everyone bask in your light.”
Despite all my fears, doubts, and insecurities, Owen makes me feel good. And he’s right beside me, his hand always on me. Keeping me steady whenever I might sway. As long as he’s here, I’ll be okay.