CHAPTER 26
To keep his heart safe, I’ll turn mine to stone. To keep that smile on his face, I’ll shred apart my soul. And if something threatens his happiness, I’ll burn it right down to the ground. It’s the least I can do for him, after all he’d done for me.
—Entry from the private diary of Patriol, son of Jaenis
STARLING
“Back again so soon?” I asked as Drake pushed his way into my cell. He had come last night, asking no questions, but claiming my body so thoroughly, I was still spent the following morning. Not that I was complaining. “I’m not sure I’m up to the task yet.”
Drake chuckled. “As much as I love the idea, I’m not here for that.”
“I was wondering when the questions would come.” He struck this deal with me for a reason, and while I was enjoying the benefits of a body as stunning as his, I was already struggling with the blurred lines.
As was my perpetual curse. Casual sex between men was all I could get in Inra, but my stupid heart wasn’t built that way.
Even Miloh—Creator keep his soul—was all too happy to share a bed but drew a hard line at friendship.
Drake dropped onto the cot beside me and threw his braids over one shoulder. “Maybe next time.”
I turned to him, eyebrow raised. He stared straight ahead, eyes distant, distracted by whatever was going on in his mind.
“Hey,”—I nudged him with my knee—“what’s up?”
“What do you want out of life?” He asked it absently, as if the topic were that night’s dinner or my favorite shade of blue.
“Ah, yes, how my dreams abound from my barred window and door.”
The corner of his lip quirked up. “I suppose I deserve that.”
We lapsed into silence, but his hand found mine, lacing our fingers together. Something warm spread through my chest. My days were filled with silence. It was nice to have someone to share it with, for once.
“You seem like a man with dreams, Starling. I’m not sure I have any. The only part of my day I enjoy anymore is the time I spend down here.”
“In the prison?”
He gave me a flat look. “No…”
With me? I bit my lip, trying my best to hold his gaze. “My dreams aren’t very practical.”
“Why not?”
I sucked in a breath and steadied my heart, which had decided now was the time to start racing.
“Because I don’t want a woman at my side.
I need more than just a bit of fun when I can find someone willing.
I want a true partner in life, a man I can love fully.
It’s hard to dream of any future without that. ”
A line formed between his brows. “Wait, that’s true? You actually can’t marry a man in Inra? Great Dragon, I thought that was a joke.”
“No joke. Is it different here?”
A smile spread over his face, and his fingers, still laced through mine, gave a little squeeze. “Handfasting is for any two people. Even two like us.”
Looking into Drake’s eyes, locked on me like he might never look away, I decided they were definitely my favorite shade of blue.
SERAE
Mid-Autumn, Basmon 1036
Morning dawned with a gray sky, an autumn chill seeping through the stones, and an unexpected visitor. Ell held two breakfast trays and a charming smile. He waltzed into my sitting room, slapped down the trays, and seated himself at my table without so much as a hello.
“You’re back,” I said, trying not to show the shock on my face.
He winked. “Did you miss me?”
“Dane said you were delayed returning to port.”
“Ah, just a bit of headwind. Nothing to worry yourself over. Tell me, what do you know about the rite of betrothal?”
That caught me off guard. “Not much,” I admitted. Dane had yet to cover it in our lessons.
Ell smiled, catlike. He had five braids interwoven down his back—one larger on top and two smaller on each side of his head.
His tunic was a deep blue that accentuated the brightness of his eyes, and he wore a flashy gold pendant on a leather strap.
Objectively, he was handsome. Objectively, I should have been attracted to him.
He was tall with stunning eyes, a perfectly trimmed beard, the same beautiful jawline as his brother, and a mouth that was made to be kissed.
He wasn’t as broad as his brother, but he was still incredibly toned.
Next to most men in Inra, he would be considered a god of muscles.
I should feel excitement at being betrothed to someone like him when there was every chance my father might have chosen some aging lord whose fortune he wanted to control.
Should being the operative word of the day.
“The betrothed couple stands before their peers individually to prove the sincerity of their commitment. The point, you see, is to show that you’re the most deserving of the betrothal.
” He leaned back in the chair at my small sitting table and stretched his arms behind his head. “You should expect to be challenged.”
“What does that entail?”
“Whatever the challenger wants. Or challengers.”
“And what happens if I don’t win?”
He tapped his chin. “That’s a good question. Normally, nothing much. The match might be called off, or the couple may make a special plea to the High Priestesses to continue with the betrothal. But a betrothal with a foreigner is new territory. It’s anyone’s guess what failure might bring.”
My mind went hollow as numbness spread through my limbs. My voice came out in a whisper. “What would be done with me if the betrothal is called off?”
“Hmm, a good question. You’ll need to marry someone if you plan to stay in Drakh. At any rate, we’ll find out tomorrow.”
I jumped from my chair. “Tomorrow?”
Ell’s eyes danced with delight. “Dane didn’t tell you?”
I gaped at him. “Of course not!” If yesterday’s bout in the garden had taught me anything, it was that Dane liked controlling information as much as everything else in Drakh.
“Well, I assumed he had. He’s been planning it for weeks. Perhaps something’s driven it from your mind?”
I ignored the barb and paced around the room. “What do I need to know? What do I have to do? Will you be there?”
“Of course I will. Half of Drakh will be there. Some have traveled from across the Riht to watch. The betrothal of a future high dane should be witnessed by all.”
I rubbed my hands over my face. “It’s the fucking Sun Trial all over again.”
Ell stepped in front of me, halting my circuit.
He hooked a finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his.
“Except this time, I get to play a part. Now,” he stepped back and scooped up his tray, “get yourself to practicing or whatever it is you do during the day when you’re avoiding me.
I’ll see you tomorrow morning in the pavilion. ”
Before the door had even shut, despair crept in, rooting me to the spot.
Dane—once again—was throwing me into a challenge I was in no way prepared for.
Should I succeed, I’d be trapped in a betrothal to a man I didn’t love—didn’t even like.
How much time passed between a betrothal rite and a Riht wedding?
I didn’t know, but the likelihood that I’d be extracted from Drakh in time dwindled.
And should I fail, who knew the consequences?
I could be sent home, saving my father the trouble of coming after me. If he even still planned to.
Emotions wrestled within me, each vying to take hold.
It was a good thing I’d used so much magic last night, or I imagined I’d be shedding plant life in droves.
Fear and sorrow quickly turned to misery, anger, and bitterness over my lot in life.
They crashed together, overwhelming me until, out of self-preservation, my mind blanked.
The day passed in one giant blur. Training had been canceled.
Callagh arrived with her mother, a small, heavyset woman who shared Callagh’s sweet face, ready to step us through the ceremonial portion.
Teke showed up to hug me and wish me luck.
We visited the arena, marked out where I would stand, and practiced what I should say.
They debated potential challenges and challengers over dinner.
I was tucked in bed before the sun had fully fallen from the sky.
Morning came in a hurry. In numb silence, I dressed in one of the overdresses I had designed myself.
Then, I slipped into a wool-lined vest to combat some of the chill.
Callagh braided half of my hair into a rose-shaped plait, leaving the bottom half long and loose.
Had the silence in my head not been so overwhelming, I might have taken a moment to appreciate how pretty it was.
“Are you ready, my lady?” she asked.
“No.”
She linked her arm into mine anyway and led me from the room.
Braethair and Braedur, Dane’s guards, waited just outside and trailed us as we walked.
We took the pathway beneath the keep that opened out to the arena field.
A chill hung low in the air, but the clouds overhead were puffy and white.
There would be no rain today. Kahvrah waited just inside the archway, shocking me from my stupor.
“Kahvrah,” I gasped, having not seen her in weeks, “what are you doing here?”
“Your Rihtish is better.” She smiled and squeezed my shoulder. “I’m here for you—to help.”
Callagh pulled me into a swift hug. “It’ll be easy. You’ve progressed in everything that could be expected of you. Remember, this is mostly ceremony. You don’t have to win every challenge, you just have to show the talents you have.”
“That’s all?”
She patted my cheek. “Whatever you do will be enough.”
“And if I fail the challenges? Will I still be betrothed to Eldreth?”
The two women exchanged a glance. “Don’t worry about that just now,” Callagh said.
“All that matters is that you are open, honest, and above all, committed,” Kahvrah added.