CHAPTER 31 #3
Slowly, deliberately, I turned. I left his training room and retreated up the stairway.
Standing there in the corridor, sending a quick thanks to the Great Dragon that it was empty, I surveyed the four doors that each led off to their own set of rooms. Of course.
It had been right in front of me all along.
This wing was for Eldreth. There was his Training Hall behind me, his gorgeous sitting room, my rooms—his betrothed—across the hall, and his private rooms at the end.
I had never been in his rooms. I had never thought to try.
I had only realized that door led to his rooms on that morning when I saw him barely dressed in his doorway.
They were a place in the keep that I stored under the “forbidden” category in my mind.
He had been to my rooms multiple times, but I had spent most of my time doing everything possible to avoid being alone with him.
Standing before his door, I pushed aside my fear and my trepidation. Vaya’la had always told me that fate was mine for the making, so here I was—doing just that.
I knocked.
ELDRETH
Mid-Autumn, Beymon 1036
I tossed a husk of bread back on my plate.
I stood and paced. The room was strewn with clothing, boots, weapons, and different weather cloaks.
The chaos reflected my mood, even if it was a practicality.
I was in a perpetual state of packing and unpacking with how often Dane sent me away.
The trips I’d taken lately, though, were fewer than I could ever recall.
More evidence of Dane’s influence that would set Serae off if she knew, not that I hadn’t suggested it.
Words like liar and trickster buzzed around my head.
I knew they were unfair—mostly. I ran my hands through my freshly washed hair, still damp.
My mood was too dark for the Main Hall, so I’d hung back and indulged in a rare soak that relieved the tension in my muscles but not my mind.
The inescapable truth was that some part of her accusations held that pesky kernel of truth.
I had not lied to or tricked her. I had never wanted to do that, but there were still actions I had to own.
I had sought her out, but always as an excuse.
Never in the way she expected. I hadn’t given her special treatment.
In the beginning, I was drawn to her in spite of myself, and I had done all I could to discredit those feelings.
Until Ell.
I knew my idiot brother better than most—him and that blasted blessing. It had all been a game to him. That man had not spent a day at home where he wasn’t trying to poke at me for one reason or another. First her ankle, and then Meralda, then the rite itself…and I’d done nothing to stop it.
Well, not nothing. I smirked at the memory of my fist in Ell’s stomach.
But then she’d poured all of her truths out for me, and I couldn’t help but recoil in shame that I’d never done the same.
I’d held back. I’d pushed her away. I’d let jealousy and duty and my own idiocy stop me from sharing my truth before her being Dragonbound was shoved between us.
She was right. How could she ever trust me when I wasn’t willing to give her everything until it was too late?
I picked up the bottle of mead Bracht had brought with my dinner plate and took a long pull of the sweet honey liquor. A knock sounded at the door. Bracht had returned to collect the plate exactly on time, as usual.
“Enter,” I called. There was no response. Memories of Meralda assaulting my door made me pause. I was in no mood for games. I stalked across the room and flung the door open.
Serae stood frozen with a hand raised toward the handle.
I dipped my head to hide my surprise. My body reacted to her, as it always did. I moved aside, letting her in and holding my breath while allowing her to make the choice. I watched her eyes roam over me and snag on my damp hair before stepping past me. My shoulders sagged in relief.
Looking around my room, Serae gaped visibly. She had not yet spoken.
I extended the bottle to her. Maybe she needed to relieve some tension as much as I did.
She looked at me with those blue-green eyes, which tonight were swirling with depth. She grabbed the bottle and drank, a sip at first, then deeply.
“Your room’s a fucking mess,” she said.
My lip quirked. “It’s fitting.”
“Why?”
Because of her. Not that I could say it aloud. My head was fucked trying to figure out how to fix things between us. In the end, there was nothing I could do. She needed time to think, and after everything she’d gone through, I could respect that.
“My duty,” I settled with. “I’m never here long.”
Something shuttered in her eyes, tearing through me.
Another thing that would come between us, and this time, I couldn’t spare her. My sigh came straight from my gut. “It’s part of my usual orders.”
“And how are those working out for you?” There was a flash of playfulness in her eyes that went straight to my cock.
“Could be better.”
She chuckled, and a little bit of tension left my brows. She handed the bottle back to me, which I brought to my lips, chasing the ghost of her kiss against the bottle’s mouth.
“You should clean up. You could never bring a girl back to your rooms in this state.”
“Yet, here you are.” It was supposed to be light and goading, but I heard the undertone of desperation.
I couldn’t hide it. I missed her banter.
I missed her presence. She was everywhere lately, but not for me.
She was the center of every fucking room she walked into, and I was drawn in whether I wanted it or not.
I craved her attention like a man starved.
“I’m not here for—” She clamped her mouth shut.
My pulse stuttered. “Why are you here?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t flee. We’d done enough walking away from each other for a fucking lifetime.
Her expression turned hard, or harder if that were possible. She kept her silence, but all I wanted were her words.
She had already taken this step of coming to me.
I could meet her the rest of the way. That constant pull toward her brought me across the room to stand before her.
I swallowed any lingering stubbornness. I knew what I needed to say, but the words were having a hard time making their way out.
I reached for her. Nothing sensual, just a hand on her shoulder.
She didn’t pull away. She looked up at me, and something new was in her eyes. A swirl of emotions that I had no chance of reading. I may be able to anticipate every swing of an opponent’s blade, but here, standing in my bedroom with her just an arm’s length away from me, I was clueless.
“Serae,” I started and then paused. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand had drifted down her arm, glancing over the tantalizing mix of softness and muscle tone that was so uniquely her.
Past the swirling patterns of leaves adorning her wrist that made her stand out like the dana she could one day be.
I took her hand, and she responded by threading her fingers through mine.
I took another step into her, allowing her to fill up my space. “I’m sorry this happened.”
Her brow scrunched, and immediately, I knew it wasn’t what she needed to hear.
I could give her another truth instead. “I was bitter about the betrothal, at first, even if I agreed to it. I thought I could keep my distance. But then…”
“You realized you’re a fucking idiot?”
“Such compliments.” I smirked. “I don’t know why I ever fought it. The first time I saw you, I knew I was in for it. You looked like you could bring down my entire world around me.”
“The first time you saw me?” She raised a brow.
I’d never seen anything sexier. The challenge, the taunt, and the invitation in that little arch were everything I needed.
I slipped my hand around her waist, drawing her body flush with mine.
In an instant, everything shifted. Until then, I had to push myself to open up and reach out, but something snapped as soon as our bodies connected.
I had to force every ounce of my energy into restraint.
My whole body vibrated with it. Everything in me was screaming to slam her up against the wall and devour every inch of her.
My hand on her waist was so close to where I now ached to be.
It only had to slip down a few inches, and I could be pressing her against me, grinding my length into her most sensitive spot.
“When?” she asked.
My brain stuttered. Having her this close turned me into all primal need and no sense.
“When was the first time you saw me?”
I racked my sluggish brain. “From the tent.”
She pulled back. “You were there. I knew it was you!”
“I know,” I said, surprising myself. I had glimpsed her for only a second, and in the months that passed, I figured I had imagined it or that my eyes were playing tricks on me.
There was no logical reason to think Serae would have glanced into a tent full of people for the span of a single heartbeat and managed to lock eyes directly with me.
But the reality of our magnetism was undeniable.
“Why were you hiding from me?”
“Hiding? I’d barely caught up with the camp when I was ushered into Dane’s tent and sent away again. There wasn’t time for an introduction, let alone hiding.”
“Why send you away?”
My mind whirled. These questions required thought, and I was having trouble thinking about anything but her mouth and the things I wanted to do to it. I forced myself to focus. “Outside of the Riht, we never stay together for long to protect the clan.”
“And then you were gone for weeks.” It was a statement, but I heard the question in it.
“We received a message from a nearby port that was under attack by dragori.”
“You killed them.”
I nodded. “With casualties and damage to two Drakhi longships and more of theirs. I stayed to help rebuild and train their warriors on fighting dragori, but I left once I learned the date for your Sun Trial.” I paused, waiting for her to ask more.
“Hmmm,” was all she said.
I watched her. How could I not? She was so fucking mesmerizing.
Her mind at work was beautiful to behold—the way she tackled a problem, breaking it down until she conquered it.
It was the same with her training. She was constantly frustrated and degrading herself, but in reality, her progress was astounding.
Her drive was unparalleled. I should find the words to tell her.
Even when she had stopped coming to training, I knew she kept up her dowsae on her own.
And through all of it, she’d been training so many unfathomable aspects of her powers.
As if I weren’t already in awe of her, she rebounded from our earth-shattering rite by finding other ways to share her talents—brewing teas and dyeing fabric.
Did she have any idea how quickly she was winning them over?
It all hit me at once, and my truths spilled out.
I didn’t want to hold back—I never wanted to again.
This time, speaking came easily. “I should have told you from the start how you captivated me. After one little taste, I was addicted to you, and it fucking terrified me. You were changing things in me so fast, I didn’t know how to keep up, and that was on me.
When I stood on that field and spoke those words to the Riht, I knew I should’ve given them to you long ago. ”
I sucked in a breath, waiting for her reproach, but her eyes stayed locked on me.
“You want to know why I held back? Because I’m a coward who could never deserve you, but I want you for myself anyway.
My lungs only want to breathe your air. My tongue craves only your taste.
My heart only beats when you’re in the room, and every waking moment of my life is spent in search of you.
And when I sleep? You invade my fucking dreams with all the things I’ve wanted to do with you and never could.
If this is what it means to be in love, then good, because I can’t live unless I have all of it.
I want you—only you. And I won’t, I can’t, fight anymore. ”
Serae scoffed. “I thought you liked fighting.” Then, she fisted the front of my shirt and pulled me into her.
Our mouths crashed together, giving me everything I craved.
She kissed me with all her force and frustration, and I accepted every bit of it.
She pushed me until my back was flush with the wall, and fuck if this wasn’t an incredible reversal of the last time I had her up against one.
Except no one could interrupt us here. Her hips thrust against mine, and my body responded to hers immediately.
I wanted her right there, right then.
But this wasn’t about me. She had sought me out, but that didn’t mean I could take everything I wanted.
It was my job to listen. When her hips ground against me again, asking for friction, I gripped her waist and pressed myself against her.
When she pulled at my shirt, I broke our kiss and yanked it over my head, tossing it to the floor.
When her eyes drank in the sight of me, stripped to the waist, I waited until she’d looked her fill before kissing her deeply again.
It wasn’t until she untied her shirt that I returned to myself.
“Serae, I don’t—”
Her shirt hit the floor, and my mind stopped working.
Her breasts were perfect, and I ached to feel them.
The overwhelming need to touch and taste her tan skin and beautiful curves assaulted me.
Through the haze, something tickled at the back of my mind.
A promise I had made. The last thing I ever wanted to do was push her too far.
So I forced myself to say the words that threatened to test all my resolve and bring me to my knees.
“I don’t think you want to do this.”