CHAPTER 37 #3
Gemma led me to the family parlor, and that same dread passed over me as it had months prior when being led to this room for the opposite purpose.
My imagination ran rampant with all the possibilities of what my father might do or say.
Gemma seated me on the very same sofa. Mother sat on the opposite sofa, this time bereft of her mourning shawl, and Bale lounged, very much alive, in a chair to the side.
Father stood before the mantelpiece with a smile on his face.
A small fire crackled in the hearth where a kettle was warming. The window hangings were tied back, and sunlight flooded the room. The refreshments table between the two sofas was laden with tea service, iced cakes, and biscuits.
“My dear.” Father smiled down at me. He held out both hands, but I gave him only one. He didn’t seem to notice. “You and your brother have accomplished what none other on this continent have. You have gone into the heart of Rihtlond and returned to tell all.”
He beamed at me, but I could not return his smile.
“I know those brutes have hurt you. It will take time for us all to heal. But, each day, we will unravel this together.” He turned to Mother and added, “Please, my dear.”
She nodded and rose to her feet, pouring tea for us all. She placed a plate, already set with biscuits and a small cake, before me. Then she pulled over a writing tray complete with a quill, ink, and parchment, resumed her seat, and readied her quill.
“In your own time, my dear,” she encouraged, a kindly smile crinkling her eyes.
The falsity of this charade grated on me. “What, me?” I demanded.
“Of course, my dear,” Father answered. “This is all for you. We are all here for you. No one will disturb us while these doors are closed.” He gestured to the room.
I glanced at Bale, but he was looking at Father with open disgust. His hands were balled into fists, and his knuckles were white.
The fire popped and swelled. The room was unseasonably warm, and I pulled at the collar of my dress with my left hand.
Outside the window, birds twittered, and I could hear the gentle rustle of the wind through the trees.
I reached for my second sight…nothing, as expected.
It was for the best. I shouldn’t be trying to connect to Vaya’la or her power in front of my parents and risk giving myself away.
If I even could connect with her again. I had grown accustomed to the dormancy when she slept, but this hollowness was new—terrifying. With effort, I pushed that fear aside.
“I don’t understand,” I said evenly.
“Don’t be silly, Serae,” Mother crooned. “Just tell us everything you’ve seen and heard.”
“Start wherever you’d like,” Father added. “Don’t worry about sorting through it all—we can do that. Just begin wherever is easiest for you. Where were you before you escaped?”
I stared at them. I couldn’t even answer this first question.
“We were put into a dungeon of sorts,” Bale supplied. “They must have known the attack was coming.”
Father nodded at Bale, then turned back to me.
“Had you been to this dungeon before?”
“No.”
“So, you weren’t imprisoned?” he asked with the hopefulness of a hound perking up for a treat.
“No, I was mostly kept to my rooms.”
Mother’s quill flew over the page.
“I see. And when you weren’t in your rooms?”
I chewed my lip. “Mostly in a training room.”
“And, what sort of training did you do in there?” His face was pleasant and eager. I had never received this sort of attention from him before. That, more than anything, set me on edge.
“Physical training.”
“Physical?”
“Training the body, weapons training, that sort of thing.”
He laughed a courtier’s laugh, and Mother at his side chuckled politely while she took notes. “What a thing. Can you imagine? One of my daughters holding a sword. How beastly.” They smiled at each other, and I took the opportunity to share a look with Bale.
“She packs a punch,” he muttered.
Father continued as if he hadn’t heard anything. “What happened after these lessons?” He ran a hand down his doublet.
I stared at him. The black doublet was new and cut in the same style Lord Ingleton preferred, but with Cavendaffe colors embroidered on the cuffs and shoulders. “I ate in my rooms.”
“Were you taken to explore the town?”
I hesitated. “Once or twice.”
“Excellent.” His grin stretched wide. “Could you describe its layout?”
“Well…”
“Better yet, we’ll set you up with some paper, and you can draw us a map.”
“A map?”
“It can be rough, darling. No need to get worked up. Just whatever you remember. Now, tell us about the castle. Is that where you stayed?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
This line of questioning went on for over two hours.
The shadows in the room grew long, and all the water from the kettle had been used for cup after cup of tea.
It was exhausting trying to riddle out what was okay to share and what wasn’t.
I lamented the loss of Dane’s support. Our lessons consisted more of what to do in the Riht than what to keep safe from outside.
I took to glancing at Bale for support, who would tilt or dip his head in suggestion.
A few times, he feigned a cough, interrupting me and then sputtering apologies as he sipped his tea.
Once, he spoke over me entirely and told a very different story about the layout of the city.
He described a grid with a castle at the heart, neither of which were true.
He also described the prisons as being on the outskirts of the city, though I had no idea whether that was the case.
It wasn’t until my head drooped that Mother set down her quill. “I think that’s plenty for today. You’ve done wonderfully, my dear.”
“Yes, yes, my dear. I couldn’t be prouder of you.” Father rose from the sofa and paced toward the door. “Why don’t you all take some rest before supper? We will pick this up tomorrow. Constance, dear, have those notes delivered to my study.”
“Of course.”
Bale helped me to my feet and led me back up to my room to change for supper.
Only, my room wasn’t empty. Tam stood in its center, hands behind his back.
He smiled with that boyish charm I used to love.
Except now, my stomach churned with guilt.
Before leaving, I had made him promise that nothing could ruin me for him, but I had never considered the reverse.
Looking in those hopeful brown eyes, I felt no spark.
Nothing like the passion and all-consuming desire I felt for Eldreth. No love beyond that of an old friend.
“What are you doing here? I thought you left already.” I had foolishly closed the door before checking my surroundings, trapping myself in with him.
“I’m here to see you.” His brown eyes were warm. “It’s such a relief to see you up. How are you?”
I bristled. “I’m well enough. Why are you really here?”
“A man can’t check on his betrothed?”
I froze. “You’re up in my room to ask a question that might have been addressed in the front hall?”
He flashed that roguish grin of his. “Don’t be like that. I wanted to talk.”
I moved to cross my arms, belatedly realizing I couldn’t, and settled for wrapping one across my middle. I reached for my power, knowing none would come.
“You punched me, you know.”
“I recall.” I took a step toward the wall that connected my room to Bale’s.
Tam turned as I moved, facing me head-on but not moving from his spot at the room’s center. He cocked his head. “You didn’t want to come back with us. Why is that?”
After hours of practice this afternoon, the lie was quick on my tongue. “They’ll come for me here. The betrothal rite is done—you don’t understand what that means to them. I had to get Bale out, but staying was the only way to stop what’s coming.”
“You’d have stayed there with him?” Bitterness touched his voice
“To prevent a war, Tam!” I shouted, though my heart slammed in my chest, knowing all the real reasons I wanted to stay.
He bowed his head, hands still behind his back. “Did he touch you?”
“Excuse me?”
“You know what I’m asking.” He lifted his head and met my eyes. “Did you lie with him?”
A chill ran up my spine as the blood drained from my face. “No, I didn’t have sex with him if that’s what you’re asking. I need to get dressed. It’s time you left.” The truth of those words stung, but I kept my expression hard.
“Serae.” He stepped toward me, holding out a hand. I stepped back. He frowned and let his hand drop. “Serae, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. I’ve been a wreck since you were sent away.”
“Whatever you’ve gone through, I assure you, I’ve been through worse. Now, go.” I pointed at the door with my good arm.
He sighed, holding up a hand in surrender. “I just wanted to say…I’m happy you’re home safe.” He crossed the room, and I watched his retreat. Behind his back, his right hand was bandaged heavily. He opened and closed the door with his left, keeping the bandaged one close to his side.
“OH, SERAE! I can’t believe how much you’ve missed!”
I had been beside Merria for less than an hour when the time for supper came, and already I had heard everything worth knowing—and then some—about her betrothal, the dancing, the food, the attendees, and the gowns involved. It was enough to make me want to gouge my ears out.
“Where are your glasses, by the way?”
Merria’s voice startled me out of my reverie. I’d forgotten about my glasses—first with Bale, and now again. It was a miracle Mother hadn’t asked about them, considering how much she always hated that I wore them.
“I, uh, lost them. In the Riht.”
She tossed me a pouty frown. “Poor thing, I can’t believe you had to suffer through being there for so long. Anyway, you’re in luck! I thought of everything while you were away, you see.” She trotted over to her dresser and withdrew a short, rectangular box.
“Happy belated birthday!” she announced as she handed me the gift.
Inside the box was a pair of delicate, gold glasses.
“You love them, of course.” She beamed.