Chapter 34
It’s not until late morning when the knock on my door comes. Coming out of my drunken haze with a throbbing skull and dry lips is nothing compared to the terror throbbing in my throat.
Get her away from me. I can’t shake Jace’s voice, replaying what happened over and over until I’m scattered. Another rasp on the door sends my spine jumping, but I smooth back my matted silver locks and open it.
“Good morning, starling,” Jace says and my body goes rigid. His eyes are their usual midnight shade, and the hands at his sides aren’t clawed.
“G-get away from me. I’m armed,” I warn, reaching for the dagger on the table beside me.
“Can we talk?” he asks. That smooth voice of his, silkier than velvet, wraps itself around me, and I can’t help but shiver. “I brought breakfast and a tonic for that hangover of yours.”
“No. Not until you explain what the fuck happened last night.” My fingers curl around the hilt as I raise it toward him.
“How about a round of our question game?” He grips the sharp edge of my blade and draws it to his chest, aimed right at his heart. “You can keep your dagger just like this the whole time.”
My eyes narrow. “No. You’ll explain yourself from out there.”
He sighs and lowers his hand, but my blade doesn’t falter.
“I wasn’t myself last night, okay?”
“You weren’t yourself?” The scoff escapes me with a tinge of rage, igniting my already pounding skull into flames. “That was very apparent.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Nova.” He leans over the door frame.
“I don’t believe you,” I hiss.
“You weren’t ever meant to see me like that.” He bites his canine into his lip. “I’m sorry.”
“See you like what exactly? With fangs and claws? What the fuck are you, Jace Ashborne?” My voice rasps for a glass of water, but I swallow the nausea before I spill my damned stomach.
“How much do you know about Blightfangs?” His exhausted eyes scan mine for a heartbeat before falling back to the dagger gripped at his chest.
“Just that they rarely bond,” I reply.
“The bond between Blightfang and rider is a rarity because most humans can’t keep their magic at bay. Most riders who attempt it fall into madness.” A black curl falls out of place, and he tucks it away.
My lips thin as I take in Jace’s state. The fog of my hangover clears enough to notice the circles under his eyes and the pale, greyish complexion in his features. Fuck, Jace looks worse than I feel.
“So what? That was Tenebris’s magic that made you all murderous last night, and why your hands changed back in Storm?
” I bite my lip. Every instance of battle we’d encountered thus far has ended in confusion.
Realization snaps into place. He’s been lying, and claiming I’ve been mistaken when I knew the truth.
“Just as Tenebris can shift into his human form, his magic gives me the ability to shift, too, but not without risk. The more often I do, the more intense the cravings.”
“Cravings for what?” I’m not sure I truly want to know, but the image of Jace’s eyes, once glittering and garnet, pangs through me.
He takes a breath, like he’s fighting a losing battle. “Blood, Nova.”
My stomach plummets to the floor. “I-I don’t understand.”
“Tenebris and I ran into a lurker on our return from patrol. I’m only capable of fighting them off if I shift. You and Isra got home shortly before I did. I promise you, I expected everyone to be asleep and safe in their bedchambers, but then I smelled you. Your scent…your…” He trails off.
Astora help me, he means my arousal. I might actually die.
Humiliation, horror, maybe a combination of both singes my cheeks, leaving them flushed and ruby. The intoxicated fantasy I allowed to play out in my mind has my heart pumping.
Extinguish one fire at a time, Nova.
“I lost control before I could shift back. I’m sorry.”
A distant memory resurfaces. The lurker bite. The venom. Jace’s lips on my neck. Tenebris’s wary words of protest. Holy fucking hells.
“I’m going to be sick.” My thoughts race to the frantic pulse booming through me.
“It was never my intention to put you in danger the way I did, Nova. I’m sorry,” he rasps. I can’t begin to understand the words spilling from his lips right now. Not when I’m battling with the hot saliva coating my tongue. My lips draw in shallow breaths and my head pounds.
“Gods, Nova, you’re sweating. Let me help you, please.” Jace reaches for me, but his hands barely cross the threshold before my blade returns to his chest.
“Don’t come any closer, Jace Ashborne.” His jaw clenches, but he obeys. “Did you drink my blood…feed…whatever the fuck you call it back at the lurker den?”
His body goes rigid. “Nova, you were dying…”
“You fought off those lurkers so you had to have shifted. You stopped their venom before it killed me. Answer me plainly, Jace Ashborne. Did you draw blood from me?”
“Yes. I had no choice.” The world stops spinning.
“You should've let me die,” I whisper, all too aware of the tension settling between us.
“Nova, please…”
“You made me feel crazy, like I’d imagined it all.” Betrayal sinks its teeth into me.
“I couldn’t tell you the truth…” His eyes search mine.
“I owned my truths, told you my secrets, and all I received in return…were lies. You lied to me, Jace.”
“Listen to me, starling, it’s better you didn’t know. For your own safety, I—” Every stone of trust I’d offered him crumbles, leaving the wall we’ve built together collapsing around us.
Thaye was right, I can’t trust him. Yaris…
Yaris was right, and now his death is a permanent notch in my heart.
How could I be so blind? So godsdamned stupid?
I’m better than this, sharper than this.
I walked right into his circle, nibbled on the crumbs he left like a fucking mouse, and now I’m trapped.
“I was mistaken in trusting you. You’re a fucking monster.”
Jace’s jaw ticks and the foundation shifts beneath us. “You think I don’t know that, Nova?”
“I want out of our deal. I’ll find a way to repay Finnick myself.”
“No,” he says, eyes glazed with rage. “I can’t let you leave. You know the truth now, and that’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”
My grip tighten around the dagger.
“So what? You’re going to hold me captive again? Keep me in your dungeon until I’ve lived out my days and meet Morvayne?” My thighs shake with a fury reserved only for combat. I’m fully prepared to claw my way out of this place if I have to.
“No. Help me find the rider…and I’ll triple your payout,” he says.
“Stipen can’t fix this, King Ashborne. Gods above, have you gone mad?”
“Yes it can, and you know it. That’s what you want, right? A handsome sum to live out your days in peace? It’s why you stayed to begin with, and why you continue to stay. Isn’t it?”
“Is that truly what you think of me?” I throw him a glare, but he’s right.
On this continent, only the greedy survive, and I’ve learned from the best that stipen is of higher value than blood.
I’ve killed for scraps and a hot meal. Slaughtered for measly payouts and hand me downs. If I have to endure another few weeks with Jace Ashborne I will, but not without assurances.
“Fine. Triple the payout, and that protection bond you’ve promised that’s yet to be fulfilled. I want it in place before we leave for Sea.”
“Done,” he says. “I’ll get my hands on the rune, and we’ll complete the offering in a few days' time, but Nova, the bond only extends to my human form. It won’t protect you if I shift.”
“I don’t care. It’s assurance you won’t turn on me and slit my throat the moment this is over,” I snap, clinging to the sliver of sanity I have left.
“I wouldn’t ever…” He trails off, eyes softening.
“Maybe back in Storm I believed that, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“Fine. Now, please eat.” The frigid tone in his voice is laced with defeat as he places a tray at my door. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“One more thing,” I say, before he turns down the corridor. “I want to see the egg.”
“What?”
“Yaris told me not to trust you. When he asked if I saw the egg in person, I reassured him you can be trusted even if I hadn’t. Now, I’m realizing, maybe he was right. So I want to see the egg. Today.”
“That’s not possible.” He shakes his head. “The Blightfangs would eat you alive.”
“Not if Tenebris speaks to them first,” I retort. It’s a calculated bluff, but I need to see this egg. I refuse to walk blindly into this deal again.
“I’ll speak with him and if they allow it, I’ll take you to it this afternoon,” he says with chilled indifference.
I nod and pull the breakfast tray into my bedchamber.
Jace lingers for a moment, before his solemn steps fade down the stairwell.
The hinges throw the silence left in his absence as I close the door and flip its lock in place.
Only when I’ve settled back under the covers, nursing my hangover along with my ego, do I let everything in.
The walls crumble, like they’re made of sand, until nothing but rage remains.
Stupid enough to weasel my way into this situation, and all I’m left with is a blooming migraine and lost appetite.
I lift the lid of the breakfast tray, now growing cold beside me.
Next to the plate of various fruits and pastries, is a small cotton pouch.
My chest aches as I pull its drawstring to find a glass vial of opalescent water.
Tears well in my eyes before I can shut them out.
The healers had taken the clothes I wore back in Storm, Jace must’ve found Yaris’s parting gift before they stinking things were discarded.
A simple scrolled note unravels as it falls from the pouch.
Keep practicing, Nova. We’ll meet again soon.
I crumple the note and toss it to the corner. Yaris is dead, and maybe that’s merciful in this brutal fucking world.