4. Lucas
LUCAS
W hen Thora had dashed through to the kitchen, Lucas had frozen for a moment as he tried to work out what had just happened.
Realising he couldn’t stand there dithering, he’d ushered his father over to a table and settled him.
Settling himself was not as easy though because seeing Thora had sent him reeling.
He’d accidentally knocked her when she’d been carrying the tray of mince pies, and what had followed had been a hot, sticky mess.
Thora had clearly been embarrassed and then flustered to see him and before he could gather his thoughts, she’d run away.
His heart was pounding so hard he felt lightheaded, and his mouth had gone bone dry.
He hadn’t been expecting to see Thora this morning at the café, and yet he should have known that the possibility of seeing her was real.
After all, he knew she still lived in Porthpenny, his father had told him as much more than once over the years.
But still … when you didn’t see someone for ages, even though you knew they were still out there somewhere, it was easy to allow yourself to believe that they weren’t really there.
That they were in a bubble somewhere over the rainbow and that you wouldn’t see them again.
And it was so strange, laying eyes on her again.
The last time Lucas had seen her was how he pictured her, but that had been around eighteen or nineteen years ago.
She’d been younger, still sharp with youthful freshness, not more than a teenager really.
Lucas had been told that Thora attended his mum’s funeral fifteen years ago but hadn’t seen her there because he had been consumed by his grief and trying not to let his anger towards his father consume him.
In fact, he hadn’t been aware of anything other than simply getting through the service and the burial.
And now … Now Thora was a woman, and it had rocked him to his core.
She was beautiful. More beautiful than before.
Back then she’d been young and unmarked by life, untouched by the world, but now she was a woman.
She had curves and a softness to her face and body that hadn’t been present back then and it suited her.
She still possessed beautiful curly dark hair and thick dark lashes surrounding her large brown eyes but her cheeks were fuller, her jawline was softer, and her eyes revealed the experiences she’d lived through.
He wondered what had happened to her since their time together.
Had she been happy? Was she doing what she wanted to do with her life? Was she where she wanted to be?
Growing up, Thora had always been so content with life in Porthpenny, but Lucas had been itching to leave.
He’d wanted more, to see more of the world and to live somewhere else.
They had disagreed over it because Thora had said that life was life wherever you lived it and that the grass would not be greener.
Lucas had scoffed at her assertion, telling her that of course it would be different.
Life in London would be faster, more exciting, more thrilling, and he yearned to escape the insular feeling of the small Cornish village and to embrace a new life.
He’d wanted Thora to go with him, though.
Hadn’t wanted her to stay behind, but she’d been adamant that she wouldn’t leave her family and friends, that she was where she belonged.
He had even delayed going to university for a few years as he tried to persuaded Thora to leave with him but she’d been adamant that it wasn’t for her.
And so he had gone off to university in London and Thora had stayed in Cornwall.
It hadn’t stopped him loving her, but it had created a rift between them, and as the first term had gone on, that rift had grown.
Then that Christmas, external factors had created other issues in the form of a housemate who’d lied to Thora when she’d visited.
They had reached a crisis point, separated and gone in different directions.
And that was life. People didn’t always stay with their first love, and it was probably a good thing because how could they grow if they did?
But Thora looked like she’d grown. She was a beautiful woman, and he wished he knew more about her and her life and that he could have seen her evolve into this new version of herself.
The kitchen door opened, and a woman came out. Lucas didn’t recognise her, and his heart sank because he’d been hoping to see Thora again. He wanted to speak to her, even though he didn’t really know what he would say.
‘I’ll go and order for us, shall I?’ he said to his father. ‘Do you know what you want?’
It struck him then that the café was decorated for Christmas.
There was a beautifully dressed tree in the corner, and now he looked at it, he realised he could smell the fresh sharpness of pine, a scent that reminded him of Christmases gone by.
The tablecloths were dark red, the centrepieces festive and there were twinkling lights around the windows.
Even the gardens outside looked ready for Christmas with fairy lights draped around trees.
The whole place screamed festive cheer, and it was so different from the sterile life he’d been living in London.
While the city there buzzed with Christmas preparations, his apartment remained stark and devoid of holiday cheer, much like a contemporary Scrooge.
Being alone in his flat, he was able to avoid getting caught up in Christmas, but here in Porthpenny, he wasn’t sure how he would be able to forget about the holidays.
The Cornish village had always embraced the celebrations, and he feared it would be the same this year.
If he didn’t leave before the holidays, then he’d be forced to accept that it was Christmas time and, even worse, to join in.
And Christmas reminded him of that awful time when his life had changed.
Until that point he’d always loved December but after he’d lost Thora, it hadn’t been the same.
It had led him to become a man who claimed to see Christmas as a waste of time and money — time and money that would be better spent making more money.
‘Dad?’ His father hadn’t answered, so he tried again while simultaneously shaking off his thoughts about Christmas and the ghosts of the past. He’d pushed it all away for years and it was only being back here that was bringing it up again. ‘Shall I order for us?’
‘Fine.’ His father nodded, then after some fumbling, pulled a phone from his pocket. While he scrolled the screen with a hooked finger, Lucas went to the counter.
‘Hello.’ The woman smiled as she pulled a hairnet from her head and tucked it into her apron pocket. She had long dark hair pulled into a messy bun and her smile lit up her pretty face. ‘I’m Ellie. I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before?’ It was phrased as a question.
‘No … Well, I’ve not been here for a while anyway. And I … I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ve seen you in the village at some point when I was visiting … but it would have been years ago.’
‘I moved away for a while but now I work with my grandmother.’
‘Pearl Draper?’ he asked.
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘I know Pearl. Ahhhh … and you’re her granddaughter. How are you?’ He thought he vaguely recalled Pearl having a granddaughter.
‘I’m good, thanks. And you?’
‘Sorry!’ He shook his head, realising he hadn’t introduced himself. ‘I’m Lucas Grant. I moved to London years ago and I only come back to visit my father and that’s not been very … often.’ He trailed off as he gestured over his shoulder to the table where his father was sitting.
‘Ah right. I know your dad. He doesn’t come here often, but I know him from around the village. Anyway, what can I get you?’
Lucas ordered, then, while she made his coffee, he said, ‘Is uhm … Is Thora OK?’
‘Thora?’ she asked as she placed a mug of coffee in front of him on the counter then turned back to make the pot of tea.
‘Yes … She uhhh… Dropped some mince pies and then seemed quite distressed and I wanted to check she was all right. See … it was my fault that she dropped the tray as I knocked her with my elbow and so uhhh… I hope she’s OK?’
Ellie placed a tray on the counter, then put his latte, the pot of tea and a cup and saucer on it.
‘Thora’s OK. She’s just sorting some things in the kitchen.
’ She smiled at him, but he felt like she was assessing him with her gaze.
Had Thora said anything about him? Had she told Ellie what they used to mean to each other?
But then why would she? It had all been such a long time ago when they were nothing more than teenagers and since then, a lot had happened.
But … Thora had been his first love, the woman he’d adored and once sworn to love forever.
Did anyone ever forget their first love?
People moved on, sure, but didn’t they always have a soft spot for the first person who’d made their heart sing?
He swallowed hard. For years he’d tried to put Thora from his mind because what was the point in thinking about something that he couldn’t change?
In musing about how wonderful things had once been between them before it had all gone wrong?
In wishing things had turned out differently?
You couldn’t change the past and could only look to today and tomorrow.
‘Are you all right?’ Ellie asked, a small line appearing in the pale skin between her dark brows.
‘Me?’ Lucas realised he’d been gazing into space.
‘Yes. You seem … a bit dazed.’