CHAPTER 8
AIDEN
I’m used to waking up all at once, going from dreamland to ready for anything and everything is a side effect of the job.
You can’t train yourself to be aware and alert for so much of your time and then expect to be able to shut it off easily.
Maybe other people are better at it, but it’s a balance that I struggle with.
The only thing I’m struggling with this morning though is whether to slide into Greylin’s tight wet heat or to wake her up by feasting on her.
I almost groan at the thought of eating her out. I wanted to last night, but when a woman begs you to fill her and fuck her, you give the lady what she wants. Especially when we’re talking about Greylin.
She’s wrapped herself around my heart without even being aware of it. Waking up with her in my arms feels surreal after watching her from afar, and wishing it was different, for so long.
Now that I’ve had her?
Fuck it. I can’t go back.
And it’s terrifying.
As I look down at the woman in my arms, I close my eyes and make a wish. For this to work. For her to be mine.
Always.
I don’t know if wishes come true, they don’t have the greatest track record in the past. But those were wishes that had no hope.
Wishes for the love of a mother who was long gone and had built a new life that didn’t involve the sons she left behind.
Wishes for a father to see him instead of only being worried about playing the angles and maintaining the image.
Wishes for a brother who lives up to the boy he used to be; but maybe that one’s not fair. York has his own demons and when it comes time for him to face them, he’ll choose his path.
It’s time I choose mine.
I snuggle into Greylin and hold her a little tighter. She lets out the cutest little snuffle when I kiss the back of her head.
My cock throbs. It would be easy to slide into her tight pussy like this. Just lift up her leg and angle my cock just right.
I let out a grunt at the thought, but then my mouth waters.
She grumbles a little as I ease out from behind her and roll her onto her back. The kisses I leave on her skin as I slide down her body are like feathers, barely brushing and leaving shivers in their wake.
“Aiden,” she murmurs my name so sleepily and sweetly that I can’t help but grin against her skin. “What are you doing?”
My words whisper across her body as I slide down far enough to pry open her thighs and prop her legs over my shoulders, “I woke up starving, darlin’.
” Her eyes find mine, glazed over and not even half-way awake, but she’s never looked better to me.
“You wouldn’t deny me the feast in front of me, would you? ”
She squirms, but I can see how much my words turn her on. Her cheeks turn the prettiest pink. Still, I’m not sure what she’s going to do when she brings one of her hands up to my head.
Is she going to push me away?
Is she going to guide my face to where she wants me? Fuck, that might just do me in.
I’m rock hard and the last thing I want to do is blow my load all over her sheets. Talk about embarrassing.
Greylin surprises me by running her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and soak up her touch.
If I hadn’t already fallen for this woman a long time ago, before everything made it feel like it could never happen, this would be the moment.
Her thighs clench as I trail kisses there, switching back and forth, teasing her. She lets out a sigh when my breath ghosts over her pussy lips. But I don’t give her what her hips are straining for.
I slide my thumbs along her pussy lips feeling just how wet she is for me already. “Eager?” There’s a tease in my voice and when I glance up at my woman, she’s biting her lip.
When I spread her open and blow across her clit, she gasps and tries to close her legs in surprise. But she can’t because I’m wedged between them.
The way her thighs are hugging my head? Fucking heaven.
“You’re so responsive,” I grit out through my teeth, barely stopping myself from diving in and desperately tasting her.
“Aiden,” she pleads softly, “please.”
I can’t help but push her a little and challenge her, “Please what?”
When she gives my hair a tug and tries to pull me closer to her pussy, I huff out a laugh that has her moaning. When I swipe through her center, her fingers tighten in my hair, and her eyes roll back in her head.
It’s impossible to tear my eyes away from the way her tits jiggle with every movement she makes. She’s so fucking sexy and she doesn’t even realize it.
I lap at her, exploring her sweet pussy and watching her face as I do. Every time she sighs and moans and shudders while groaning my name is memorized. Because learning how to give my woman pleasure is a mission I’ll gladly go on.
The pink from her cheeks creeps down her neck and across her chest. I growl against her dewy flesh, “Cup your tits, darlin’. Show me how you play with them late at night when you’re thinking about me.”
It’s a fucking pipe dream. I know it, but that doesn’t stop the words from slipping from my lips.
Greylin’s eyes snap open and I can see the raw shock in her crystal blue gaze when she looks at me. I’m stunned for a moment, unsure if it’s really possible.
The thought of it, of her imagining me when the shadows are the only witnesses to her secrets, makes my cock so hard it hurts.
Her hands are shaking slightly as she brings them up and cups her tits like an offering before she gives them a squeeze. When she starts to twist and pull on her nipples, I suck her clit into my mouth and slide two fingers inside of her. I hook them and find that spot that makes her thighs shake.
The moan she lets out as she comes is low and long, a bale of bliss that makes me desperate to slide inside of her.
But I also want this to be just about her.
My cock tries to revolt, but it can’t always be about draining my balls.
No.
Seeing her vulnerable and embrace her pleasure completely is a gift greater than getting off.
I slide back up her body, kissing, licking, and nipping her skin as I do. She shudders through the aftershocks of her orgasm, and I try to hide my grin.
When Greylin looks at me and just how fucking satisfied I am with myself, she chuckles and rolls her eyes.
But she doesn’t lose the blissful smile on her face.
Fuck. I’ve never felt better.
I pull her into me, and she drapes her leg over my waist. She freezes when she feels the ridge of my shaft. As if tasting her wouldn’t make me hard.
“Don’t mind him,” I tell her, sliding my fingers around the back of her neck and hauling her closer. I kiss her forehead and murmur, “You taste so fucking good. If I could start everyday with your taste on my tongue, it would make for a damn good day.”
“If only, huh?” She breathes out the words and for some reason they feel like a punch to the gut.
Even though I know she doesn’t intend them to be.
The fear that I’m already far too deep has me swallowing hard.
I want to ask her if she really has thought about me before. I want to make sure I’m not the only one who feels the connection between us. I want her to tell me this doesn’t end badly with hearts broken that may never mend.
Damn it. I’m an asshole.
I try to hold onto the confidence I woke up with, the feeling of being right where I belong. It slips through my fingers like smoke.
Nothing I’ve ever wanted has come easy.
Not my dad’s love.
Not the job, even though it’s what I felt like I needed to do.
Her lemon verbena scent wraps around me and I’m already afraid of never smelling it again. Or, even worse, that I get to for a while and then it slowly fades.
“Aiden,” there’s a little bit of exasperation in her voice and Greylin shifts enough to look up at me. When she does, her eyebrows pull together. “Are you okay? I said your name more than once.”
“Sorry,” the word feels like glass in my throat, “I didn’t hear you.”
She eyes me like she doesn’t believe me, which is fair. But I really didn’t hear her. Because I was too busy starting to freak the fuck out about how wrong all of this could go.
And everything at stake if it does.
It’s not easy to go from seeking my father’s approval at every turn to walking away. Because that is what being with Greylin will require. I know it because I know him. He won’t let it go or deal with his issues.
“What are you doing today?” She looks at me, her crystal blue eyes wide and round.
“I don’t have to go into work until later.
Do you,” she pauses and bites her lower lip like she’s not sure if she wants to finish asking the question, but then she takes a breath and powers on, “maybe want to hang out? We could make breakfast and watch a movie?”
Everything in me is screaming to say yes. But my lips won’t move. The look of hope in her eyes starts to fade and my stomach knots.
“I wish I could,” the words sound hollow, wrong, as they leave my lips. It’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience. “I’m so far behind on laundry that it’s not even funny. I have to head home to deal with it or else it’s going to be a real problem.”
“Right,” Greylin deadpans, “laundry.”
“I’m serious,” I try to argue. “Do you want to come to mine? I can get laundry done and we can still spend some time together,” I throw the words out there and they make me feel even more like an asshole.
The look on Greylin’s face tells me she’s not buying what I’m selling. Not even a little bit.
“No,” she bites out, “I have some laundry to do of my own.”
She slides out of bed before I can stop her and the bubble bursts. Reality rushes in and it’s the last thing I want to face.
I want Greylin, but I can’t have her and my family.
Dad and York are the only family I have left, but Greylin is the future I’m supposed to have.
No matter what I do, I lose.
Even hours later, when the laundry is done, and the memories of what we shared last night creeps in, I know there is no way to win here. Not completely.
When I try to sleep, I’m haunted by the look in her eyes. It hurt her that I wasn’t staying. It hurt her that I didn’t fight harder.
It all comes down to what I’m willing to lose.
I want to choose Greylin, but the potential to lose everything pulls me down like gravity. Maybe the taste I had of what could be is going to have to be enough.