CHAPTER FIVE
Asher hated going through No Man’s Land, but it was a necessary evil to return to the Guild. The area was a dampener of all things magic, including his ability to evanesce. The only way to reach the Guild was on foot and through the shit hole that was home to various nasty creatures. It had taken a full day on foot to make it to the final bridge leading to the island the Guild was housed on when the huge spider pounced on him.
It wasn’t that he had a fear of them, and it wasn’t that they were hard to kill. Neither of those two things was true. No, it was because when you killed them, they pretty much exploded and covered you in repulsive vile-smelling crap and intestines. So now he stood, his stark white hair caked in dark inky black goo and his once pristine tunic and pants now stained and covered in monster intestines.
“Bloody disgusting creatures!” He mumbled as he cranked a lever to raise the bridge. He wanted off No Man’s Land as soon as possible and quicker than that if he could.
A rustling in the bushes behind him caught his attention. He could either wait and see what was creeping up on him, or he could make a run for it over the bridge and onto safe harbor.
If you could call Guild land that.
From the direction of the rustling came a blood-curdling scream. That had made his mind up for him. It was a Kaguru, a creature that looked like a common house dog but was so much worse. The Kaguru would approach unsuspecting travelers who dared to cross without the aid of a Tracker, a Guild member hired specifically to deliver people crazy enough to want to travel through the land and play on their weakness for the common house pet. But they would quickly find out that what had approached them hadn’t been a dog. It was a half-dog half humanoid creature who would wait until the travelers had settled down for the night before launching its attack.
The Kaguru killed without mercy and loved nothing more than fresh liver, warm and straight from the body it had ravaged. They were only one predator out of many of the diabolical creatures who called No Man’s Land home.
The bridge finally rose, the platform barely hovering above the dark waters below. He cast a quick glance in the direction of the Kagura, then back. Moving quickly and as quietly as he could, Asher made it over the broad expanse of water to the other side. Once there, he accessed the lever and began to crank it as fast as he could.
The bridge had just begun to submerge when the Kagura came into sight and when another two joined it. Asher tilted his head, eyes to the sky, and thanked all the gods of the Quartaines for his speed and the clarity of mind to traverse the bridge. He worked the lever until the footpath was well below the waters once more, a glass-like surface. The ripple caused by the bridge now once more settled.
Without giving them a second glance, Asher gathered his belongings and ducked under a low-hanging branch making his way deeper into the wooded glen. There was no pathway, no tracks, nothing. To find the entrance to the only home he and others like him knew, you needed to know what you were looking for, and no one outside of the Guild did.
If anyone was dumb enough to enter No Man’s Land, navigate safely past the creatures there, and make it across the even more treacherous waters to the island, all they would find would be the old ruins of a forgotten church and a graveyard.
Only Guild members knew how to access the compound and how entry to it was via the old cemetery. There was a headstone which, with the right touch in the right place, would peel back and reveal a descending stairway.
Once at the bottom, with all the twisty hallways and dead ends, the place was a maze. There were no signs posted to direct you to where you wished to go. You either knew the way, or you got lost, and that in itself could be treacherous. It hadn’t been unheard of for a trainee to meet an untimely death by falling down one of the many pitfalls while trying to escape...and many did try, but they always failed.
Asher was ready for his room, a warm bath, some food, and sleep. All in that order, and not even Lyscella, his current fuck buddy, could tempt him to do anything else right now. It had been a long journey back, one he had chosen on purpose, half-hoping Darius DeVere would come looking for him, but sadly he had not.
He’d shook his head to dislodge that thought many times on the way back. The male had gotten under his skin, and he had no idea why. There was something about him that screamed dominance, and that was generally something Asher tended to avoid, given his past. But with Darius, it was different. It felt safe. Two words he would never have put together into one sentence before meeting him.
Marcia had fucked up that joyous little part of him that would ever allow anyone to have complete control over his body and mind ever again. The very thought of the female caused rage to burn in his chest. She had taken so much from him, so much he could never get back.
Eli had stopped it, though. For that, Asher would be eternally thankful. The older male had more integrity than any other person in the Guild. He liked to spend time with him, learn from him, and Eli was always ready to offer instruction.
It was just before Asher’s first solo assignment when Eli had met him at the bridge before crossing into No Man’s Land. He had handed him a leather-wrapped object.
Carefully opening the gift, Asher had been surprised to find a beautiful dagger. The blade razor-sharp, the hilt made of beautiful polished wood, plain and very Eli. Above the hilt and embracing the blade, five points grew and nestled between them was a curious symbol. A knot of sorts with three points with no beginning or end to them, an ever-flowing loop making up the design, and on the bottom of the dagger sat an opal. Not the common moon opal found in every Quartaine, this was a Starlight Opal. One of the rarest gems and not found on any Quartaine, only the mines of Quindark on the eastern continent were gifted with such beautiful stones. Appearing dark in color until the light hit them, and they appeared to burst with multicolored flecks, every color of the rainbow captured within. When he took the dagger in his hand, calm and focus always washed over him.
He had thanked the male and gone in for a hug, but Eli had coughed and stepped back, mumbling about not making a big deal out of it, which drew a laugh from Asher. The thoughtful gift had quickly become his favorite dagger and had notched up more kills for him than any other weapon he owned.
A quick glance across the water made him thankful he had trusted his gut. Asher took off into the tree line and away from the piercing eyes of the creatures on the other shoreline. As he moved, he did what he always had and once more slipped his glamor back into place.
Gone were the long, white hair and his mismatched eyes; one of the deepest ice blue and silver flecks, the other silver gray with ice blue flecks, now in their place were beautiful sage green eyes, golden flecks around his pupil and ring around his irises. His hair was now dark brown.
Asher had always found his own appearance to be confusing. One of his mentors, Eli, had never given an explanation as to why his looks were so different from all the others within the Guild and had encouraged him from a young age to hide his odd features. So once more, he donned his guise of choice.
Eli hadn”t been the only influence in Asher”s life. Khyro had been there too. At first, he had stepped in when Eli was away on assignment. But then, over time, the red-haired male had taken Asher under his wing and helped him with his training, helping craft the male now considered the Guild”s very best.
The male had slowly become the closest thing Asher had known to an older brother, but even he had no explanation for Asher’s light hair and eyes.
He wasn’t far from the clearing when he spotted two males by an old gnarly tree. He reached out with his senses but could feel nothing.
Strange.
Moving stealthily, Asher grew close enough to recognize the males. Eli and Mikhai were surrounded by a privacy shroud. A magical sphere was cast around them to ensure they wouldn’t be overheard.
Eli looked pissed, pointing angrily and poking the other male”s chest, the pressure of which caused him to jerk back. A hand shot up gripping Eli’s hand. Mikhai didn’t look pissed, though. He looked unfazed. Most at the Guild had mastered the cold, emotionless mask, but not Mikhai. Asher could tell that even on his last breath, the male would have a smirk on his lips, no doubt having met his end by pissing off the wrong person.
Whatever they were talking about, they didn’t want anyone else overhearing. In all his years at the Guild, Asher could count on one hand the number of times he had seen the two males in each other”s company. Eli was a loner, always working or spending time teaching. Whereas Mikhai was usually out, flirting with anything breathing no doubt, or taking first-timers out on their maiden assignment.
Asher began to retrace his steps. Whatever they were discussing wasn’t his business. He would seek Eli out later and give him the wagers he had come across. No doubt he could use them to win favor with his friend.
Stepping back, he missed his footing and stepped on a branch. The crack was so loud that it seemed to echo around him.
Both males stopped talking, their heads snapping in Asher’s direction. Their hands automatically reached for whatever weapons they had on them. Upon seeing Asher, Eli’s harsh expression faded to one of nonchalance. Mikhai whispered something, and the field around them faded once more. Asher could reach them with his senses.
Eli was hard to read; his years teaching Asher had meant he had developed a way to block him. Mikhai wasn’t so adept at it. The male was feeling pleased with himself. Whatever he had done to piss Eli off, he really didn’t seem to give a shit. A vibrant halo of pale orange radiated around him, a visual show of his smugness.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, guys,” Asher called out, both hands raised and palms facing as he grimaced. “When I saw it was you, I was trying to leave you both alone.”
Mikhai walked forward, completely at ease with his hands in his pockets. Pure arrogance oozed from each step he took toward Asher. He smirked at Asher, looking him up and down. The male didn’t seem to be insecure in the slightest at their height differences. He wouldn’t ever be described as short, but it was rare for males to come close to Asher’s height.
“For being Eli’s best student, you don’t do very well at not being detected. You are also filthy.” Mikhai said as he stopped in front of Asher. He continued to look him over. Grimacing at the filth currently covering Asher.
Rolling his eyes, Asher just shrugged, “Let’s say it was shock at seeing Eli give you the time of day. Let’s be honest; there are other things more interesting than listening to you drivel on.”
Asher struggled with being pleasant near Mikhai. The guy was an arrogant dick. Good looking, the dark pigment he constantly wore around his narrow eyes only brought out the light brown hue that decorated his irises; he knew exactly how to enhance his features. It didn”t make him any less of an asshole though. He either thought he was the gods’ gift to other fae, or he was boasting about his skills with the blade he always carried strapped to his hip.
“Trust me, Asher. You spend more than a couple minutes with me, and I’ll change this opinion you have. Ask anyone. I’m an absolute delight, isn’t that right, Eli?” He turned his head to Eli, his dark hair swaying with the movement.
Eli just stared back at him. The deep scar that slashed over his eye was stark under the light of the setting sun, and he did not seem to feel the need to agree or disagree with the statement.
Mikhai just laughed to himself, smirking at Asher as he looked at him once again, “Eli seems to be grumpy today. Good luck with him. If you don”t mind, I must take my leave. There’s many more beautiful people waiting for my presence.” With a wink at Asher, Mikhai made his way into the woods ahead.
Before he was completely gone, he called over his shoulder, “Take a bath will you, Ash? You smell awful.” He finally disappeared completely from view, the forest swallowing him up.
If Asher could have rolled his eyes any harder at the arrogant male he would have. He didn’t need to watch his retreat. He could sense Mikhai’s emotions from where he stood. The further he got from where they stood, the fainter they grew until all Asher felt was relief that he was gone. Eli and Asher would now be able to speak openly.
“So what? Did I interrupt a lover”s quarrel?” He walked towards Eli as the male approached him in the opposite direction.
Eli’s brow rose fractionally as he wordlessly questioned Asher’s remark.
“‘Don’t believe a word that comes out of that male”s mouth,’ you would tell me. ‘He wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him on the ass,’ I think was another opinion you had of him.” Asher listed off past examples of what Eli would say about Mikhai, he may have been keeping things light-hearted, but he was curious. Eli never interacted with Mikhai, at least not that he knew of.
“Oh, he wishes,” Eli responded, some humor returning to his sage green eyes, “He had some information for a future assignment.” Eli left Asher standing as he passed him, walking in the direction of the Guild. Not once did he look back to see if Asher would follow. His mentor already knew his loyal student would, “I assume your assignment went well then? No problems?”
This was Eli’s way of ending the discussion he didn’t want to participate in to begin with. Asher knew it all too well. His friend and mentor was never one to suffer fools, nor was he a male who discussed his business with anyone, not even Asher. But that was fine. Asher respected his friend and knew if Eli needed him, he knew to ask.
“He can be cute, in a ‘little male, with an inflated ego’ type of way.” Asher picked up his pace, following Eli as they walked the short distance to the secret entrance of the Guild. He was happy to move on from the subject of Eli. It always brought back unenjoyable memories.
“The assignment...? Oh! Umm, yes. It was a success and in more ways than one.” Asher had caught up with Eli, and as he teased, his brows wiggled suggestively.
Eli shook his head, huffing a laugh, “Good to know you had fun. Can’t say the same for the rest of us.” He glanced at Asher’s hip where the dagger he had gifted him always rested. The corner of his lips rose slightly, “Didn’t need to use that dagger, did you? Or do I not want to know the details?”
Following Eli’s gaze, Asher found himself patting his dagger as if it was a pet. He loved the weapon and had even named it. Ironically he had considered calling it Marcia. Each time he used it on assignment, it would remind him of the first time blood was drawn with it. But it wasn’t Asher who had christened the blade. It was Eli.
That day had been one he had tried unsuccessfully to block from his memory. Many things he could mentally place in a box and lock away in the depths of his mind, but not that day, never that day.
Eli had been on an assignment and had been away from the compound when she had come for him. His mentor had instructed Mikhai to shadow Asher at all times, he was never to be left alone, but Mikhai had been distracted by a female Marcia had sent to lure him away.
Asher was thankful he couldn’t quite remember the finer details, but what he did remember he wished he didn’t. She had been in his room waiting for him when he had returned from the main hall. A few of his friends had set up a small celebration for him to celebrate his eighteenth birthday. Asher had wanted to wait for Eli to return before celebrating, but it had been two weeks, and they had given up and thrown a little gathering. He had partaken in a few glasses of wine and had been slightly drunk returning to his room.
When he entered, he was shocked to find her there. With a smile on her face, she had talked of wanting to give him a gift, something that all boys needed to help them become the males they needed to be. Taking advantage of his drunken state, she began to seduce him.
On the outside, Marcia looked beautiful. From her appearance, it was clear she was from the Autumn Quartaine. Burnished red hair framed her heart-shaped face and plump lush lips. Lips that trailed wet kisses down the column of his throat as she worked to pull his tunic up and over his head.
Asher had been lost to the sensation and the moment.
Backing his half-naked frame up to the bed, Marcia pressed her hand to his chest and forced him back.
He had laughed. It shamed him to remember because, at that point, he was oblivious to what was to come. Many times in the darkness of the night, as he lay in bed having woken from a nightmare, he would curse his naivety.
The shame he carried still.
He moved back on the bed, Marcia crawled over him until she settled, straddled over his hips. Her dress rode up and over her pale thighs to reveal a dusting of red at the apex of her mound. She had come seeking him with one thing on her mind; it had been obvious.
One moment he was on his back looking up at her; the next, he woke to the sound of the headboard hitting the wall and his body being rocked as she rode him. He must have blacked out, only coming to with the build of his release.
She was rolling her hips against him, her wet greedy cunt gripping tight as she slid up and down his hard length. He attempted to lift his hands to her hips to control her movements, to stop her, only to discover he couldn’t. They had been secured together, bound, and raised above his head. His legs had been tied to the posts of the bed, rope cutting into the bare flesh of his ankles.
Asher tried hard not to panic, repeating over and over in his head that everything would be okay, but nausea rolled in his stomach as he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the sight of her moving above him.
Again and again, he repeated to himself that he would be okay, but even as he tried to force this belief, he knew nothing would be how it had been before. What she was taking from him, he would never get back.
“I don’t want to do this, Marcia. Please, get off me. I don’t want this...”
She was over one hundred years his senior. Many times she had tried to lure him to her bed, and each time it was Eli who had put a stop to it. He had made Asher promise to stay away from her, to never let himself get into intimate situations with her. Up until that point, Asher had kept his promise.
But she had ignored his plea. Instead, she leaned forward, her breasts brushing his chest as she continued to ride him hard. Eyes locked with his, a twisted grin tugged her lips as she began to whimper softly, each roll of her hips stealing from him his pride, his self-respect, his sense of self-worth.
“Stop, Marcia! I said I don’t want this!”
He tried to tug his hands and feet free of the restraints, but he couldn’t get free. Fear was now beginning to sink its claws deep inside him as he tried what he could to dislodge her. His heart racing, Asher fought to stay aware even when he wanted nothing more than to slip away into his head and stay there until it was over.
But all it did was draw a wicked laugh from her cruel lips.
At the age of eighteen, Asher was no saint. He had been with females and males before, but those times it had been fun, consensual. This was not like those times before. This was someone who held control over him and who was taking advantage, removing his power and his freedom to choose. This was someone he was supposed to trust, committing something unspeakable.
The more he struggled, the more she seemed to get off on it, her whimpered moans growing louder and louder as he fought hard to get free from her. He felt sick to his stomach at the sight of her as she moved above him.
Leaning forward, her hands like claws, she sank her nails into his chest, and as he felt her tighten, her release hitting her hard, she dragged them down his flesh. The biting pain and the vice-like grip locked on his cock had him spilling deep within her.
Immense shame immediately washed over him as he felt the ebbing pulse of his cock. There had been no pleasure in the release. It had been his body reacting to what she was doing, nothing more.
But he felt dirty and soiled. So many times after that night he had sat in a tub of scalding hot water and scrubbed his flesh raw in an attempt to wash away that feeling of filth.
Each time he failed.
In a low, barely audible voice, he spoke, “Get the fuck off me.”
Her voice was a purr as she replied, “Oh, but I am not done with you yet.”
Hatred began to boil in the pit of his stomach as he forced himself to look up at the female who had stolen something from him, something precious, that should have been sought and not taken by force...his consent.
The sexual assault had only been the start of what Marcia had done that day. As the assault played out, she confessed to having used a salve on him that would ensure he would be able to please her. No matter how much the act repulsed him, he had no control over his body. She ensured it would betray him in the cruelest way.
The assault went on for what felt like hours. It quickly became clear Marcia had a kink, and that kink was pain. Inflicting pain on the person she was with was what got her off. She had used her fists to beat him, had used her nails to scrab and claw. She used her teeth to bite, and she had ridden him so hard that the rope binding his wrists and ankles to the bed had cut deep into his skin as he fought her.
But it was to no avail.
A little voice inside his head spoke softly to Asher. It beckoned him to retreat, to sink into his own thoughts and find a memory, a safe place to stay until the things she was doing to him would stop.
So he did.
He followed it until he was lost in a memory of the one person he trusted above all others. He was with Eli, and they were laughing as they circled each other, arms raised, fists clenched in a fighting stance. It was the day Eli had begun to teach him hand-to-hand combat.
Even as the tears fell freely from his reddened and swollen eyes and the beatings continued, Asher was lost to it all. He was tucked away with Eli, and it was that little voice that had saved Asher that day.
Many years later, on those rare occasions when he looked back, Asher knew if not for that little voice in his head, he would have broken into tiny pieces that would never have fitted back together.
He had no idea how long he had endured her administrations. He had lost all track of time and had retreated so far into himself that when a loud banging on his bedroom door had rattled it in its frame, Asher was unsure if it was real or imagined.
He thought he could hear Eli, but his friend sounded as if he was far away.
The weight of Marcia’s body was lifted from him.
There were raised voices, shouting, and then the sound of a struggle.
Then there was silence.
He felt numb, emotionally and physically. In that place where he hid, he had an awareness that she was no longer on him, touching him, hitting him. But Asher felt dirty and hadn’t felt secure enough to leave his safe place.
It wasn’t until a hand gently touched the side of his face, large and calloused, causing him to flinch, that he became aware there was someone else in his room, the space he had once stupidly thought was his safety.
“I am so sorry, kid. She won’t ever touch you again, I promise you. She won’t touch anyone ever again.”
Tears fell as Asher wept, realizing that it was Eli who spoke. That he had returned and, to Asher’s shame, found him broken and bound.
He couldn’t see the older male move around the room, his eyes so filled with tears and blurred from the swelling caused by her fists. But he could hear him curse her. Eli’s voice shook with fury, and yet as he spoke to Asher, it shook for a different reason, and back then, he hadn’t known which had broken him more, what she had done or his friend’s pity.
Eli reached for Asher, but the young male flinched away, an instinct now beaten into him. Barely contained rage burned in Eli. His mentor checked where he could without touching him, ensuring that Asher had not suffered any serious lacerations as the young male”s white sheets had been stained red with his blood.
It had taken a while for Eli to draw Asher from the place he had mentally retreated to. Eli would never forget the anguish and shame on the young male”s bruised and swollen face.
Eli had drawn a bath for Asher and, after helping him from the bed, carried him to the bathroom and gave him privacy to wash away the stain of Marcia. When Asher eventually returned to the bedroom, his friend had removed the bed from the room, and in its place was the one that belonged to Eli.
What he had not removed, though, was the body of Marcia. She lay on the floor, naked, face up with a dagger protruding from her neck and in a pool of blood. Her eyes open, void of the spark of life that once lit them.
Eli hadn’t removed her. He wanted Asher to see she was dead. That he would never have to see her ever again after that night. At least Asher had guessed it had been Eli’s hope.
Though for many nights and for many years after the incident, Asher would see the events play out over and over in his nightmares.
Marcia may have been dead, but she would never truly be gone.