CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It had eaten at Asher all night long, he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. He had caught wind from one of his Guild mates that his replacement, Eli’s new ward, was to be bunked in with him. So instead of facing that nightmare he had decided instead to go back to the training ring and work off the raging anger that was burning him up. Finally settling shortly before dawn in one of the chairs in the dining area.
Each time Asher was sent on an assignment in each Quartaine he would take a day or two on either side to search for traces of Eli. Each time he would come back with nothing. The last he had heard of the older male was from an old neighbor of his friend Nico.
When two months had passed and Eli hadn’t returned, Asher began to think something bad had happened to him. He went to the place he guessed he may have gone considering their last conversation and the wager slips for Nico.
He had gotten to the Summer Quartaine and had tracked the male down to a small village on the outskirts of Cliffden. Asher had been saddened to discover Nico and his daughter had passed away in a house fire, but there was no mention of a friend, nor was there any sign of Eli having been there.
But Asher had never given up.
Even on his most recent trip to Spring, he had spent two days before beginning his assignment searching the surrounding villages only to find nothing. It was like his friend had just disappeared from the Quarts altogether.
With a heavy sigh Asher swung his legs off the bench and pushed himself to a sitting position. Hunched over, his head in his hands the male rubbed the ball of his palms against his eyes to dislodge any lingering sleepiness.
He had aggressively argued with himself on whether he should meet with his old friend or if he should keep him at arm”s length. It was clear to Asher that he had found a replacement for him. Was there really anything he would be able to say that Asher didn’t already know? His mentor, the male who swore he would be there for him no matter what, had broken his promise. He had left him and had not once attempted to reach out to him.
No. His mentor had replaced him with a small insignificant female.
Could she be his kid? She had the same eyes. No, he decided against that for the sheer fact that some female would have to put up with his bull even if it was for the few seconds it would take his friend to spill into her.
Asher had left the training pit the night previous to seek out Eli only to find him leaning headfirst against his door with a tray of food in his hand. One tray. One person on his mind. And it obviously wasn’t Asher.
They had placed her in with Asher. Violet was a sick bitch, and it wouldn’t surprise him to find out she had done it to taunt him. Putting the new in with the old just to rub salt in the wound.
Instead of approaching him, Asher turned on his heels and sought out Glaybren. The male was always offering to distract Asher and when he felt like this there was no better distraction than burying himself in him.
With a sigh Asher moved and dressed quickly in dark brown pants and a cream tunic, his dagger secured at his side. He took hold of his long, just below shoulder-length, black hair and secured it at the nape of his neck.
If he was going to finally fight with his old mentor he would be sure to take every opportunity to kick his ass. He had no doubt that regardless of what Eli had been doing over the past twelve years he had kept in shape.
Asher kept replaying the previous evening events over and over in his head. He had been too shocked and then angered to get a reading on Eli or the girl with him. Too wrapped up in his own pain to process it all properly. Who was the girl and what was so important about her for Eli to abandon him?
As Asher approached the courtyard he slowed his pace. Even though he had told Eli he wouldn’t be at training he knew he missed the male too much to not at least find out why he left before cutting him out of his life.
He had grown used to watching his own back, he hadn’t needed nor wanted anyone. The only thing “friends” in the Guild had taught him, there was no such thing as a close relationship. They either fucked you over or they left you when you needed them most.
Moving stealthy, Asher approached the corner and peeked past to see Eli in the center of the yard warming up. He was standing in just his black pants and over by the wall lay his tunic. The muscles on his back were taut and defined as he stretched and did some warmup exercises.
Eli, sensing Asher’s presence called out to him, “Still lurking as you did when you were a boy? Get your ass over here, let’s see how much you have improved since I’ve been gone.” Slowly he turned in Asher’s direction. New scars peppered his chest, abdomen and arms. It seemed trouble still had a way of finding Eli.
Keeping his expression neutral, Asher stepped from where he had been standing, without talking he reached and gripped the tunic. Tugging it up and over his head before tossing it to the other side of the yard from where Eli’s lay. He didn’t carry any weapons other than the dagger strapped to his thigh, but that too he removed, tossing it to land on his tunic. He disliked that Eli would see it and know Asher had treasured it all these years while he had been gone. The last thing Eli had ever given him.
“I don’t lurk, I merely assess my surroundings before stepping into the fray.” Asher began to copy Eli’s movements, warming up his muscles and readying himself. He knew Eli wouldn’t go easy on him, he never had even when Asher was a child.
Eli’s eyes caught on a large scar that traveled from Asher’s shoulder to his hip, “That’s new, how’d you earn it?” he asked.
Asher’s brows shot up, momentarily confused. He followed Eli’s gaze to the now faded silvery white scar that ran from his shoulder, over his chest and down his adjacent hip. “I appear to have started collecting them. That was the first and I am sure it won”t be the last. I got it on an assignment. I was to be captured and feed them false information before escaping. It went to plan, I completed my assignment and ended up with this as my parting gift.”
“Good thing they didn’t touch that handsome face of yours or they would be killed ten times over, right?” Eli said with a slight smirk.
Scars were nothing new to members of the Guild. The more gruesome the injury, the more respect you got for surviving it.
“I’m sure you got a lot of attention when you came back.”
Asher shrugged as he settled into a fighting stance, hands fisted and raised preparing to spar. “I am told my inner beauty far exceeds my pretty face and my scars are good talking points after sex.”
“Just as conceited as you were when I left,” Eli said, mirroring Asher’s stance. The two started to slowly circle each other. “Since you decided to meet me after all, I wanted to apologize for not coming back like I said I would.”
“This is training, nothing more. Keep your excuses or maybe save them up for that female you brought with you. Maybe she buys the bullshit you sell.”
Asher lunged, his arm shooting forward aiming for Eli’s face but the male dodged him. “If I could have come back I would have been here like I promised, I had every intention to return again. But things changed.”
He let Asher charge at him throwing punches or trying to knee him in the stomach but he dodged each attack. He had maintained his training and deep down he was still the teacher Asher had grown up around. The energy Asher was putting into each swipe or jab showed his pain still there.
The abandonment.
“Tell me, that day you left...was it because of the conversation I walked in on between you and Mikhai or was it down to the wagers I gave you?” Asher moved quietly, almost feline as he circled Eli. He kept his guard raised, physically and mentally. He hoped it was down to Mikhai because for years he blamed himself. Always beating himself up over giving Eli the wagers. Always wondering, if he had never found them, never brought them to his friend would he ever have left him?
Asher knew his mentor could read the micro tells and how those tells meant the male facing him could read him like an open book. Even though Asher fought to keep his emotions in check he knew Eli could see it all, clear as day. Could see the pain of rejection that tore daily at the younger fae’s soul.
Eli measured his words, rolling his neck as he tried to loosen the tension knotted there, “It had to do with the wagers, yes. I needed–”
Before Eli could finish his explanation, Asher leaped forward ready to put all his weight in the punch that was once again coming for Eli’s face. But he dodged it, he didn’t let just anyone get a punch in, that first time had been to lure the young male.
Asher’s blood was boiling. He was angry with himself, it had been his doing. He had given Eli the reason to leave. It was his own gods damned fault he had been left alone. If he had just stuck to his orders and not thought to be an obedient little puppy and return something that had fuck all to do with him.
“What...hmmm? What did you need? I am all ears, tell me what it was you needed so bad,” Asher began to pace, the training forgotten as he fought to keep control of the anger boiling and now overflowing. The beast he contained and rarely allowed others to see. His calm fa?ade gone he couldn’t hold back his fury as he continued by yelling, “...THAT. YOU. FUCKING. LEFT. ME!”
Eli did not interrupt Asher, he watched him with those calculating green eyes. Waiting until Asher had finished he lifted his gaze to the male and sighed. Yesterday he had no other choice other than to place Aurora into the care of the Guild. All those years fighting to keep her out of their grasp. Losing time with Asher, breaking his word, and all for nothing. “I never left you, not really. I thought about you every day and I hated myself for not bringing you with me. I should have.”
The male shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest guarding himself from the words and the intent behind them.
“I couldn’t come back, not until Aurora was trained. If I let the Guild catch up to us then who knows what they would have done with her, I wanted to give her the chance you never got.”
Asher turned on Eli so fast, his face like thunder, “Fuck her! Fuck you!”
He lunged for Eli, blind rage pushing him to be reckless. He unleashed a barrage of punches, not caring where they hit as long as they made contact. He wanted to hurt him, wanted to cause even an ounce of the pain he had felt being abandoned by the only person in the world he had trusted.
Eli had taught Asher a very valuable lesson on the day he left.
Trust no one.
No person was truly your friend. No one really cared. The only one you could ever rely on was yourself.
Eli dodged Asher’s attacks as best he could, but let each blow land on his arms as he held them caged to protect his face.
“You need to understand why I did the things the way I did them, Aurora was just a child. When I found her, she was already at the age of four. You were raised here, and by that age you were already training. Think about what would have happened to her. I needed to make a decision,” Eli grunted as Asher managed to find an opening and caught him in the ribs.
Asher’s attacks were not easing, he had held in years of pain, of anger, and as much as it killed Eli to see the young male suffer he knew this was needed. He would have to bear it, because after all he suffered because of Eli’s actions.
“That decision was to hide and train her. At the time I wasn’t thinking about how it would affect you, by the time I stopped thinking about mine and Aurora’s safety it was too late to come back for you.”
Wrong thing to say, even if it was honest. The loud angry snarl that pulled from Asher was evident that he would need to word things better.
“If I had come back to the Guild, I would have been trapped here and Aurora would have died. Is that what you would have wanted? An innocent child to die because I came back for you? Trust me Asher, there”s not a day that goes by where my decision doesn’t haunt me.”
Eli’s return had opened the wound Asher thought had closed many years previous. But seeing he had been replaced had cut him deep. He had watched the night previous how protective Eli had been of the girl. He had watched him bring her food, stand guard outside until she slept. He was no longer Asher’s protector, he was hers. He couldn’t hate her for it, for if what Eli said was true?
Asher’s punches faltered, “Don’t put this on me...asking if I would have wanted her dead. You knew when you left you were going to her, you knew you may not be back and instead of trusting me enough to tell me what was going on you made a promise you knew you couldn’t keep.”
Asher stepped away, disgusted with Eli. He was done training, he was done being in his old mentor’s presence. His heart ached, and he needed it to stop. He needed an assignment to focus on, hopefully in Summer so he could call in on Darius. It had been a few weeks since he had last spent time with the male.
He dropped his fists to his side, the fight leaving him as he locked his hurt away for now. As he pushed his feelings down, his senses other than the rage he had felt returned and he suddenly became aware of someone standing where he had been earlier.
He reached out with his power, searching for familiar markers in their aura but recognized none. Whoever it was, they were angry. There were also flares of jealousy spiking and a distinct hint of female.
Asher turned his back on Eli and in one quick motion swiped his tunic up in a tight grip while calling out, “You can have him back now. We are done.”
Eli frowned as he watched Asher retreat.
“I’m back, Asher. I’m not leaving again. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
Not turning as he passed the female on his way out of the training area, Asher’s indifferent gaze brushed over her as he called back, “I am sure your new protégé will appreciate that.”
He had intended on playing it cool and not showing Eli just how much his leaving had hurt him and yet as he made his way down the corridor Asher mentally chastised himself for doing the complete opposite.
A war of emotions raged within Asher as he turned another corner making his way back to his room. Suddenly caught off guard he halted in his tracks, his back going stiff as Silas sauntered down the hallway towards him. Recognizable for the blade that always hung at his side. He moved quietly, barely noticeable, like shadows, unless he wanted to be seen. The fact that he preferred to hide his face under the hood of his cloak didn’t help.
Asher’s reaction upon seeing the male hadn’t gone unnoticed. Stopping in front of him, the hooded male let his gaze travel over Asher from his head all the way down to his toes, assessing him.
Asher forced himself to relax, and offered the male a quick, false smile.
“Your presence has been requested in the Inner Chamber, lucky I found you so easily, or I might have had to hunt you down and you know how well that would have gone for you.”
The male’s voice was deep and raspy. The stories that filtered through the Guild about its enforcer were nothing short of nightmarish. Everyone knew not to screw with the male.
Asher tilted his head and with a flick of his wrist saluted the male, “I am just back from an assignment. I wasn’t expecting another so soon lest I would have been sure to make myself easier to find.”
He knew all too well what would happen if Silas had hunted him down, the male relished in the chase and was unforgiving in the punishments he gave those he tracked and caught.
Silas tugged his hood down, the scar that ran through his brow, an imperfection not many fae had. As fae healed quickly it was rare for scars to form and yet there his was like a badge of honor highlighted in the glow of the luminescent sphere that hovered overhead.
“You are the one who seemed to have a need to rise in the ranks of the Guild after Eli left, yes? Taking the male”s place requires your attention from multiple people at once. Learn to balance it, and always be prepared so I don’t feel the need to take this role away from you. Now get moving, don’t keep them waiting.” he growled.
Without another word he brushed past Asher, shoulders meeting, Asher’s giving way to the unrelenting force of the sullen male’s. A moment later Silas was gone, and Asher was once again alone in the hallway.
Asher waited until he was certain Silas was around the corner before he pulled a face mimicking him, “Don’t keep them waiting.”
The male was feared by all the subordinates in the Guild. As the Guild’s Enforcer, all at some point or another had been at the receiving end of his punishments.
Asher sighed as he pulled the tunic over his head and tucked it into his pants. He had hoped for some time off, not much just a few days, but it appeared that was not going to happen. He made his way to the chamber as instructed, with a slight hope the job would be in the Summer Quartaine. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Darius. He had been spending as much time with the male as he could without drawing any unnecessary attention from the Guild.
One of the things not allowed by any member of the Guild...relationships. The inner circle were fine with members having random hookups when out on assignment, but nothing long-term. They didn’t even care if members fraternized, because what else was there to do when you came back from a long or taxing assignment and you needed to work off some pent-up energy?
He stopped for just long enough to take a deep, calming breath before pushing the doors open and entering the room. One more job meant he was one step closer to paying off his debt to the Guild, which would mean he could leave without having to look over his shoulder for Silas.