Chapter 7
CHAPTER
SEVEN
It’s nearly dawn when Troy pulls up in front of my trailer and hops out of the truck. He grabs the box of books while I carry the boombox inside.
“Same time tonight,” he announces. “Get used to sleeping during the day.”
It was the best night I’ve had since I was eleven and I can’t wait to do it again. “I will. Thanks again for the radio.”
His smile could knock me off my feet. “We’re going to have fun together. See you tonight.”
The first thing I do is plug in the stereo and find the rock station we’ve been listening to all night.
It comes in nice and clear. With music filling the trailer, I head to the kitchen to make an omelet and toast for breakfast. I open the tattered blind in my living room to watch the sunrise while I eat.
It takes me a moment to realize what I’m feeling because it’s been too long since I’ve experienced it. I’m happy. Happy and actually looking forward to something.
The feeling sticks with me throughout the morning and afternoon while I’m cleaning the children’s dining room, washing the governors’ laundry, and trimming weeds around some of the homes. When I crawl into bed around one in the afternoon, there’s still a smile on my face.
My new routine falls into place and the next couple of months are the best I’ve known since I was brought here. I get my work finished by the afternoon then sleep until evening. Troy and I spend the nights dumpster diving, often stopping to eat at late night spots.
Driving around with the windows down and music blaring feels like it heals something inside me.
Troy is fun. I never have to worry about saying the wrong thing around him or being punished.
He doesn’t want an underling to boss around.
He wants a friend to hang out with and there’s nothing I need more in the world.
With my other duties cut, I don’t see much of the other members, which is fine by me.
Some of the teenagers still like to shout Sinful when I’m nearby, and I hear an occasional skip rope rhyme about me on the playground from the younger kids, but mostly I’m ignored.
I suppose that’s how it usually works with servants.
As long as they aren’t getting any complaints about me, the governors leave me alone.
I’m serving the purpose they gave me as a horrible warning to the other girls and women.
My radio is cranked up and I’m dancing around the kitchen when I look up to see Troy grinning at me. Laughter leaps out of me at being caught as I take in the sight of him. He leans against the doorway in jeans and a black Guns N’ Roses tee shirt, his hands tucked in his pockets.
I wonder if this is how Jane felt when she met Nolan.
If so, I can almost understand her suddenly changing her mind and wanting to be his wife.
It’s ridiculous how often I play out fantasies in my head about Troy.
None of them involve being a wife or mother or any part of this place.
I just want to kiss him, touch him, be with him all the time.
The feeling of freedom we have when we’re out at night is intoxicating, but it isn’t real. We both know what would happen if we weren’t back here by morning. We’re prisoners let out of our cage on a long leash.
I switch off the radio. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I was enjoying the show.” His eyes rake over me, pausing for a moment at my thighs where my shorts have ridden up as I put my shoes on. I’d like to think he’s attracted to me too, even though nothing could come of it.
Troy’s a steward. He’ll have to take a wife eventually, one who will give him babies. It’s stupid how much that thought bothers me. I don’t want to be a wife, but I want him to myself.
“Here.” I shove a packet made of aluminum foil into his hands. “I made some cookies.”
“Hell yeah, thanks.”
We head out into the warm night. The light is still on in the packaging building and I’m not surprised. It’s picking season again and they have to work late to keep up.
“Did they let you get any sleep today?” Troy asks as we drive toward town.
“Yes, I started picking right after you dropped me off, so I got my carts finished by afternoon. How was your day?” In addition to finding the items to sell, Troy often works mornings with some of the other stewards who run the flea market stalls and roadside stand.
“The market was hot and busy. Steward Hal was wearing his titty smiles the whole time. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.”
“Wearing his what?”
“You know how big he is, and he sweats like a snowman in the sun. It forms these little half circles under his man boobs.” He glances over at me and drags his finger under his nipple to demonstrate. “It looks like they’re smiling.”
“Ew!” I cry, bursting into laughter. “Don’t the customers stare?”
“Oh yeah. They all know his double d’s are happy to see them.”
We always have such a good time together that it doesn’t feel like work anymore. Even on the hard nights when we fill the truck multiple times, stopping to unload into a storage unit, or when we have to move heavy furniture, it’s enjoyable. Tonight is no different.
We’re about halfway through the night when we stop for a snack after dropping off a load.
The small convenience store parking lot doesn’t have an empty space out front, so Troy backs into a spot on the side of the building.
I don’t like this store. The cashier is a gorgeous blond who always hits on him.
For some reason, it makes my stomach hurt to watch them flirt with each other.
“Do you mind if I wait here? Rest my feet?”
“Okay.” He hops out and closes the door. “Cherry slush and a bag of pistachios?”
“Sounds good, thanks.” Pistachios are my latest addiction.
He disappears around the corner of the building, and I sit back in my seat to gaze out the open window. Clouds have crowded out the stars. The air feels thick, with only a slight breeze to cut the oppressive humidity.
A car rolls past, and the keys hanging in the truck’s ignition glint in the headlights. Suddenly, they’re all I see. Troy has rarely left me alone in the truck and never with the keys. Only the front of the store has windows. He can’t see me from inside.
This is my chance to run.
I’ve never driven before but the truck is an automatic. It’s one pedal to go and one pedal to stop. How hard can it be?
My mouth dries out as I scan my surroundings.
There’s no one in sight. The gas tank is full and we’re near the edge of town.
I just have to get far enough away, so the town cops won’t bring me back like poor Mindy.
Georgia made it out. How far did she go?
Another state? That should probably be my plan.
I look again and Troy still hasn’t appeared. I hate to do this to him, leave him to deal with the aftermath, but he’s a steward. They never face consequences. I don’t want to leave him at all if I’m being honest with myself. I’ll miss him and our nights.
Fear triples my heartbeat. Screw it, I have to try. I quickly unbuckle and slide over into the driver’s seat. The key turns easily and a thrill shoots down my spine at the sound.
I’m getting out of here! I grab the lever on the column to put the car into gear.
It won’t budge. What the hell? A frantic glance around reveals I’m still alone, but he could be back any second. Is it the seatbelt? Will the truck not let you drive without a seatbelt? I pull the belt across my lap and fasten it.
Please. Please work.
The lever still won’t move an inch. My sweaty hand nearly slips off it while I try to force it back and forth.
“That’s not how you do it.” My entire body spasms at the sound of Troy’s voice.
He stands just outside the door, and his arm shoots past me to turn the truck off while I scramble to undo my seatbelt. I slide over as far as I can as he gets in.
What have I done? My stomach twists and a wave of nausea washes over me. I let myself forget that Troy is a steward. His dad is a governor for hell’s sake! Us being friendly and having fun together doesn’t change anything.
“Where were you going to go?” he asks.
“What? Nowhere! I wasn’t. I just wanted to turn the radio on.” It’s a ridiculous explanation but I’ve got nothing else.
He looks over at me with an impassive expression and starts the truck. His lack of reply to my excuse is terrifying.
“I wouldn’t.” My words fall out fast while he regards me calmly. “I don’t even know how to drive. I just wanted the radio.”
“Well, to start with, you have to hold the brake down to shift into drive.” He puts the truck in gear and pulls out of the parking lot.
I don’t know what to say. My instinct is to plead with him not to report me to Keeper or the governors. He doesn’t believe me and if he tells them I tried to escape…
I turn away from him to face the window, tears stinging my eyes as I run my fingers over my cheek. Will they cut me like Mindy before throwing me in the reflection hall? Or worse? Governor James said they’d do worse if I tried to run. I don’t even want to think about what that might be.
Stupid stupid. Why was I so stupid? My life is better than it’s been in years. I’m not miserable. I even look forward to the nights with Troy.
The dark landscape blurs by, the streets and buildings fading to farmland and pasture. He’s taking me back to Hearth and Vine Farm way before our night should be over. I’m screwed.