Epilogue
Sand sticks to my leg, and I brush it off as the cool night air fills with laughter and conversation.
It’s hard to believe that this is our fifth year of spending our winters at this beach.
It stuns me when I think about it, the way time moves on, dragging us by the arm like a dirty rag doll.
Troy and I are pushing fifty now, but with him, I still feel like a lovestruck girl inside.
He glances over at me, and I scratch at his salt and pepper beard, making him smile.
How could I ever have forgotten him? I’ll never really understand it, how my brain can block out a whole life lived together with a man as wonderful as him.
I’ll never truly forgive myself for hurting him, but I haven’t had another episode since then.
It’s the snow. The stupid snowstorm that I survived but can’t leave behind. So we leave the winter behind. It felt like we had no choice when the decision was made, but it’s turned out to be my favorite time of the year.
Troy and I spend all our time together, enjoying each other and relaxing, without any work or interruptions. We sleep when we want and have sex when we want and lie out under the stars listening to music.
Not today though. This time, we brought our family to stay with us for the first week. Both of Troy’s brothers, Jane, and her twin four-year-old granddaughters, Lily and Daisy, will be flying home tomorrow. Then Jane will keep an eye on our place until we return in March. Kentucky is still home.
“Are you okay?” Troy asks quietly, while the others argue over whether you can skip a stone in the ocean.
“I’m good. I promise.”
He grins and it affects me the same way it did when I was a teenager. I know why he’s concerned about me tonight.
Hearth and Vine Farm has been back in the news again, this time for operating a meth lab.
It’s not the first time since our escape but it’s a reminder that the place still exists.
It’s a hard thing to accept. Even twenty-five years later, the cult hasn’t been destroyed because when you remove one evil man, a line of them battle to take his place.
Keeper was killed in prison after only eighteen months, but the governors are out now after serving their time. A lot of the stewards weren’t charged, including Paul, and my mother returned to be with him after her short sentence for child neglect.
Still, Hearth and Vine isn’t what it used to be. After all the arrests, a scrutiny remains and they no longer have the protection of the local police. Child Protection Services monitors the group to prevent underage marriages, and makes sure the kids are fed and get medical checkups.
People aren’t held hostage by them anymore, but plenty of freshly eighteen-year-old daughters stay and marry. No matter how cruel and destructive a belief system might be, some will still feed themselves and their children to it. The indoctrination and conditioning are just too effective.
The twins burst into giggles about something, pulling me out of my thoughts and bringing a smile to my face. The bonfire crackles and hisses as Troy adds another piece of driftwood.
He returns to sit with me, tucking me between his knees on a weathered blanket. His chest rises and falls against my shoulder blades, and I lean my head back on his shoulder. The orange flames dance across the faces of the people I love most in the world.
“Jerry, I swear to you, if you burn another marshmallow, I’m throwing you in the ocean,” Jane laughs, her voice light.
She swats at her husband’s arm with a roasting stick.
Jane became my sister-in-law almost three years ago.
After over twenty years of avoiding men, she and Jerry fell in love.
I’m thrilled to see her look so happy and relaxed with a genuine smile on her face.
Jerry scoffs and pulls the flaming chunk of marshmallow back, blowing on the black crust. “It’s called caramelization, and it’s a culinary technique.”
“Charcoal is not a delicacy,” Troy’s younger brother Eric chimes in from the other side of the fire ring. He’s leaning back on an overturned wooden crate, a beer dangling from his fingers.
Jerry tries to hand the stick to Daisy, who shakes her head. “I don’t want a crunchy one.”
“Me either,” Lily adds.
Eric spears two marshmallows and grins at the girls. “Let your uncle Eric show you how it’s done.”
Jane looks over at me as he kneels beside them, helping them toast their marshmallows.
When she catches my gaze, there are tears in her eyes, and I know she sees the same thing I do.
Two little girls who will never go through the things we did.
They won’t know keepers, governors, stewards, or matrons, only family.
They get to grow up feeling safe and loved, not controlled by cruel men.
I lean my head back against Troy’s collarbone, closing my eyes for a second to take it all in. The rhythmic crash of waves, the taste of salt in the air, the smell of wood smoke, and the uncomplicated joy of my family’s laughter.
Just being on this beach feels like a miracle. To see a horizon that never ends and look into darkness that doesn't feel like a cage is something I’ll never take for granted.
“What are you thinking?” Troy whispers, his lips brushing against my temple.
“That I’m glad they came with us.”
He leans to talk into my ear, sending a shiver through me. “Me too, we should do this every year.”
“Definitely,” I whisper, dropping a kiss on his lips.
“Finish eating those and it’s time to get ready for bed,” Jane tells the girls.
Among their cries of objection, Eric gets to his feet. “Well, I was hoping to read a couple of stories, but if you don’t want to hear them.”
That changes their minds quickly, and Eric volunteers to put them to bed so Jane and Jerry can spend some time alone. The girls follow him inside, and Jane pulls Jerry away for a walk on the beach.
The moment we’re alone, Troy lies back on the blanket, tugging me down with him.
I put my phone beside us, and he reaches over to brush my hair back like he’s done so many times before.
In a dilapidated barn, on a hill overlooking a movie screen, in a hospital bed, in our bed while I faked sleep and planned an escape.
He tucks an earbud into my ear, then pulls me into his arms, and we stare up at a sky bursting with stars. “Play our song, sweetheart.”
Thank you for reading!