19. Rune
Chapter 19
Rune
I ’ve imagined kissing Finn many times over the past week. I thought that he would be excellent at it.
My imagination did not prepare me for the pure luxury of what it actually feels like to have my face pressed up against his. There’s hunger and a slight edge of desperation. His hand nudges my chin into a better angle as his tongue sweeps into my mouth. He’s skillful, somehow both passionate and tentative, like he’s posing a question and wants to know what I think about it.
I fist my cold, bare hands on his jacket, anchoring myself as I give my reply. A very enthusiastic, fuck yes.
I’ve never thought of myself as particularly talented at kissing, but the way Finn gives a shuddering intake of breath makes me think that maybe I’m not too bad at it. Maybe I just needed to do it with the right person. I’m vaguely aware of the way his arm draws me snugly up against his body. All of my focus is on his mouth, his taste, and the feel of his breath on mine.
We’re both breathing hard by the time he draws back, our eyes locked with the same hazy expression.
“You’re shaking,” Finn says.
“My hands are a little cold,” I admit. Maybe the rest of me is, too, but I can’t make my brain focus right now.
“We should keep going.” It’s a reasonable thing to say. Before the moose showed up, I was sweating profusely from the exercise.
“Or you could warm me with your body heat,” I suggest.
“It would take longer,” he says, although he looks like he’s actually thinking about it.
“It would also be more fun.”
“I wholeheartedly agree.” He picks up my mittens, brushing the snow off them before handing them to me. “Do you want to turn around or finish this loop? I think the moose is gone. Probably.”
I accept his assistance putting my ski back on and helping me to my feet. I'm stiff from crouching so long in the freezing snow. “Let's finish the loop. Maybe we’ll get to see more wildlife.”
Finn barks out a laugh. “I’m not sure my heart could take another encounter.”
That makes two of us.
As it turns out, the rest of the trail is much more level. I don’t fall any more, but am dripping with sweat once again by the time we get back to the chalet. Ella’s skis are still sitting exactly where she set them when we arrived this morning.
Finn’s hand drops to the small of my back as we go inside, sending warm shivers up my body. We find Ella and Sam just chilling in the cafe, drinking Bloody Marys together.
“I thought we came here to go skiing?” Finn demands.
“The view’s fine from where I sit.” Sam smirks.
Ella gives him a high five. “Nice.” Then, to us, “I needed a little food in my belly. We’re ready to head out now.”
“Food’s not a bad idea. You want anything, Rune?” Finn looks at me.
“I could eat something,” I admit. Now that I think about it, I’m starving. In my haste to over-analyze my romantic prospects this morning, I forgot about breakfast.
“They have really good blueberry muffins,” Ella says.
Finn offers a quick smile and heads across the little cafe. I just stand there awkwardly, unsure whether I should accompany him or remain with my cousin. I hate situations like this. I never know what to do.
“There’s space for you here.” Ella pats the black vinyl upholstered seat next to her.
So I sit.
“How was your morning?” I ask, for the sake of saying something.
“Fine. Good,” Ella says with a little laugh like it was a joke question. “How was yours?”
“Very athletic.” I feel like I should tell the story about the moose. That would be a really great thing to talk about. But my thoughts are far too fragmented to do the story any justice. The only real thing on my mind is the man standing across the room and the way he kissed me.
“Do you like to ski?” Sam asks politely.
I open my mouth to respond, but Ella beats me to it. “Rune likes the idea of skiing.”
Sam smiles. “It can be challenging.”
A vanilla thing to say, but I’m spared the necessity of answering by Finn returning to the table with a tray of assorted bakery items. He sets it on the table and slides next to me on the booth seat.
“I didn’t know what you like,” he says.
“So you bought the whole bakery?” Sam scoffs.
“If you ask nicely, maybe we’ll let you have our leftovers,” Finn tells him.
I just nod, my mouth already full with a blueberry muffin that has cream cheese in the middle. Finn’s knee brushes against mine under the table. I glance over at him and see the slightest twitch at the corner of his mouth. I push back with my own knee and the twitch turns into a smile that triggers butterflies in my stomach. The tiniest hint of a dimple graces one of his cheeks. I wonder how he’s managed to stay single this long, or if he’s just in between girlfriends at the moment.
“ Rune .” Ella’s voice breaks into my thoughts. She sounds mildly annoyed.
I finish chewing before I reply. “What?”
“For the second time, I asked if you wanted to go out to lunch at that burger place we went the other day?”
“I’m literally eating a muffin right now,” I point out.
Sam grins as Ella throws up her hands.
“I was talking about after we’re done skiing. God, Rune, did you not listen to a word I say?”
“I tried not to,” I reply with a shrug, like I hadn’t been accidentally distracted by Finn’s good looks and the heat of his knee against mine. “I’m game for whatever.”
Two muffins and a slice of quiche later, I’m finally full.
“Thanks for that,” I say.
“It was the least I could do,” he returns with a meaningful look. I think he’s referring to the moose incident.
Ella and I make a stop at the women’s restroom before hitting the trails. The moment the bathroom door closes, she rounds on me.
“Ok, spill it,” Ella demands. “What happened out there? You two are being weird.”
“How are we being weird?” I ask, feigning ignorance.
“Other than the fact that Finn bought out the bakery because he ‘didn’t know what you wanted’?”
“He didn’t actually buy out the bakery,” I point out needlessly. There were only like six muffins plus the quiche. “I think he felt guilty because we ran into a moose on the trail. It was a little freaky.” I think back to the size of the creature and the way it stood there looking at us. As still as a statue, except for its breath blowing like smoke in the cold air. Simultaneously majestic and terrifying as fuck. Put that down as one of the top three things I never want to repeat. Just after seeing a girl in bed with a guy I thought was my boyfriend.
Ella’s mouth falls slack. “Holy fuck, are you serious? Did it see you?”
“Yeah, it definitely did.”
“Did you get a picture?”
“No. I was more focused on hoping it wouldn’t attack.”
“Oh.” She thinks about this for a second. “Why didn’t you say anything at the table?”
Other than the fact that I mostly forgot about it after Finn kissed me? I shrug and turn to my reflection in the large bathroom mirror. I look windblown and my hair is weirdly flat from my winter hat, but overall, the look isn’t terrible . “I guess I forgot.”
“You forgot?” The skepticism is back in her voice. Maybe it’s because I know she’ll eventually find out, or maybe I am secretly dying to talk about it, but?—
“I forgot because I kissed Finn,” I blurt out.
Ella’s eyes widen. “You’re shitting me.”
“I shit you not.”
“You two actually—oh my God, I cannot believe this.” She chews on her lower lip, a dangerous spark of excitement growing in her eyes. “Sam thought it would take dinner and a few drinks before either of you made a move. I thought maybe a sauna might be in order. The kind where you go in naked.”
Now it’s my turn to stare. “Do you mean to say that while Finn and I were moments away from possible death by a moose on the trail, you and Sam were in here playing matchmaker?”
“Yes?” She gives a small, apologetic smile.
For a long moment, we just look at each other. Then her smile widens and she leans on a hip, fully invested in this moment.
“How was it?”
“Incredible,” I admit. “I’m still seeing stars.”
“I’m swooning already. Do you want more? You look like you want more.”
I give a how is that even a question look. She nods, brows puckered slightly. “Then we’ll have to make sure you get some. Come on, I have so many ideas for how to make it happen.”
“No, don’t. If this is meant to happen, then it will. I don’t want to mess anything up by trying too hard.”
“It’s obviously meant to happen, so let’s focus on making sure nothing gets in the way of fate.” Her mouth is set, determined. I’m a little afraid of what is about to be unleashed.
“Please don’t be obvious about this. Don’t let him know I told you,” I beg.
“Give me a little credit,” she sniffs. “I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Her assurance will have to do.
The guys have their skis on by the time we get outside, and are in the midst of a debate as to which route we should take next.
“We have two trail options,” Sam tells us. “There’s the Pine Hill trail and then that one that winds around the river to the south. I don’t know what everyone’s up for?”
“Which one is better?” I wonder aloud.
“The Pine Hill one,” Ella says promptly. “Except it’s a little more challenging.”
“In what way?”
“There’s a hill.”
“A big one,” Finn adds seriously.
Everyone looks at me.
My eyes narrow. “I survived a moose. I can probably handle a hill or two.”
“Too soon,” Finn mutters.
Ella beams. “That’s my cousin.”
It’s a solid two minutes before I regret my decision. I honestly thought I’d do a lot better this time around. If we’re counting the number of falls, I am definitely doing better. But everything is uphill. My thighs are burning and I’m generating so much heat that I have to unzip my jacket. Finn kindly skis next to me, even though I’m slow as a snail. I glance over at him several times, wondering if he’s regretting that kiss yet. I’m clearly not in his league. Poor as dirt and a shit skier.
And that's before I round the curve and see where the trail veers up. Way the heck up.
“There is absolutely no way I’ll be able to get up there. You have fun. I’ll stay here and—uh, make camp.”
“The view at the top makes it all worth it,” Ella assures me.
“Maybe, but not if I die in the attempt.” I turn to Finn, expecting him to sympathize or suggest that I should turn around to get a head start for the way back. But he just winks.
“Like you said, what’s a little hill after a moose attack?”
It's a challenge and I feel obliged to take it as such, knowing full well that I'm only doing this in a pathetic attempt to impress Finn. Ella and Sam race ahead, insisting that they'll wait for us at the top. I sigh and try to emulate the way he uses a side-step to work his way up the hill. It’s tedious and by the time the ground levels out again, I’m barely able to lift my legs. I don’t know how I’m going to get back down.
“This way.” Finn turns off the trail into the untouched snow. Ella and Sam are no longer anywhere in sight.
“Is this even legal?” I ask nervously, like there’s going to be some kind of woodland warden who orders us back onto the groomed trails. Finn either doesn’t hear the question or chooses to ignore it, and I’m left to scramble after him through some leafless trees—birch, I think, with curling paper-like bark—and a thick spread of pine. Then, suddenly, I realize why this whole venture was worth it.
The world falls away beneath us, opening up a dramatic landscape of miles upon miles of pure, untouched wilderness. It’s the kind of view that makes your heart surge.
“This is incredible,” I breathe.
“This is one of my favorite places in the world.” Finn’s voice sounds low, almost reverential.
I take off my skis and let myself fall backwards into the snow. It's so deep that it makes a kind of chair where I fall. The chickadees are singing merrily from all sides; somewhere in the woods beneath us, a blue jay is calling. I close my eyes, indulging in the forest sounds and the feeling of the midwinter sun shining warm on my face. Finn removes his own skis and joins me in the snow.
“I used to come here with my grandpa in the summers,” Finn says after a while. “There’s a patch of wild blueberries a little ways down this cliff, down by where those red pines are growing. We always had to pick enough so that my grandma could make a pie. Sometimes it was a quick task. Other times—well, let’s just say that there were some long, miserable afternoons and I learned the true reason why they say the mosquito is Minnesota’s state bird.”
“That sounds fun.”
“It was hell,” he says, but there’s a smile in his voice. “Even on a good day the bugs were bad. But Grandpa passed away when I was ten. I try to come up here a few times a year to honor his memory.”
That’s unexpectedly sweet. I squint open my eyes. “Thanks for bringing me here. And for everything.”
“Everything?”
“You know…letting me stay the night during the snowstorm. Helping with the car. And—everything.”
He’s quiet for a moment. Then, “I’m sorry you lost your job and went into the ditch. That’s just shit luck. But I’m glad, too. I wouldn’t have met you otherwise.”
I meet his gaze. Why are you glad you met me , I want to ask. But that sounds too much like I’m fishing for compliments, so I settle with, “I feel the same.”
“I’m also sorry about the moose.”
“Why?” I ask, startled. It’s not like he summoned it.
His mouth tightens as he looks back towards the view. “I felt so helpless. All I could think was that the moose was going to charge you and there was nothing I could do. Besides stand really still, that is.”
“What would have happened if it had charged?”
He huffs out an embarrassed laugh. “I probably would have waved my poles like a maniac and skied off the trail to try to distract it.”
I’m floored. “That’s some serious hero shit.”
“We didn’t have many options. Not when you only had one ski on.”
“Even if I had both, I wouldn’t have gotten far.”
“Yes, I’m aware.” He tries not to smile, but the corners of his mouth twitch.
“It turned out well, though,” I say, thinking of the kiss. “Your post-moose comforting tactics were thoroughly distracting.”
“It wasn’t a tactic. I just couldn’t think straight to stop myself.”
“Did you feel like you had to? Stop yourself?”
He drags his eyes to mine. “I should have asked first. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I whisper. “You read the signs correctly.”
We stare at each other, then he reaches out to softly cradle my face in his hand, running his thumb across my bottom lip. I didn’t notice him take his mittens off.
“May I kiss you again, Rune?” His voice drops an octave.
I reply by tugging his face towards me, my lips parting with a sigh as his tongue slips into my mouth. He rolls, pressing his body over mine, brushing the powdery snow away when it threatens to fall in my face. Even through a thick winter jacket and snow pants, I can feel the hard lines of his body. And damn if it doesn’t make me want to escalate things.
“What are you thinking?” I ask when he slows his kisses and just…looks at me. It’s a stupid question, but I want to know anyway.
He winces, as if caught red-handed. I think he might not answer, but he says, “I’m thinking that I wish we were doing this somewhere warm, so I could feel your body against mine.”
Oh .
I summon all my boldness. Not too difficult, considering how turned on I am right now. “What’s stopping us?”
He gives me a humorous look. “Your cousin?”
“Why did you want her to come along, again?”
“I thought maybe you’d be more likely to say yes if I invited her.”
“I would have come if it was just the two of us,” I tell him honestly. “I would have said yes in a heartbeat.”
When he moves in for another kiss, it’s with an expression that has my breath catching.
“You’re incredible,” he breathes, blue eyes piercing as he looks down at my face. “Beautiful. Fearless. So full of life.”
I laugh because I am none of those things. I’m just a scared little mouse who’s trying not to fuck up her life too badly.
I’m seriously thinking of taking off my jacket, maybe letting him get a little handsy, when the sound of voices echoes through the trees. Ella and Sam are calling for us. Finn laughs at the disappointment on my face. He rises easily and reaches down to help me up.
“To be continued,” he murmurs. A girl can only hope.
We ski back to the trail, where Ella and Sam have magically appeared. The fact that they don’t comment on our side venture tells me that maybe they were similarly occupied.
“Ella and I were just talking. What do you think about maybe finding a hot tub somewhere?” Sam looks at us.
“And where were you thinking of looking for a hot tub?” Finn eyes him suspiciously.
Sam gives an innocent shrug.
“Fine. Come on over to my place.” Finn’s tone is begrudging, but there’s a good-humored slant to his expression.
“Provided Rune can get back to the chalet,” Ella points out.
“I take offense to that,” I lie. I, too, wonder if I'll be able to make it before nightfall.