Chapter 44
JONAH
The ballroom of the hotel had been turned into a Christmas Eve winter wonderland.
Normally a formal space, it had been transformed for the night into a dreamy, wintry space.
Its standard tones of gray, silver and white had been replaced with rich reds, deep greens and glittering golds.
The chandelier’s light had been softened, the ceiling draped with sheer white, see-through cloths, thousands of small white lights threaded into the material so it seemed as if we were underneath the stars.
Around the walls, the mirrored panels reflected the light.
Tall Christmas trees were strung with thousands of fairy lights, and dusted with fake snow.
Around the dance floor, tables were set with beautiful Christmas linen.
In the center of the tables were tall white roses and winter greenery with lights in vases, surrounded at the base by snow-frosted pinecones.
We moved through the room together, Mae’s hand tucked through the crook of my arm. Outwardly, she appeared composed. Only the way she held on to my arm tightly betrayed her nerves, and only to me. I introduced her to friends, relatives, board members and regular, long-time guests of the hotel.
‘This is incredible,’ Mae breathed as we walked away from a group of people, her eyes alight with wonder.
‘Not nearly as incredible as you,’ I told her, aware it sounded cheesy, but not caring.
I had been coming to these formals since I was a child, but I had never, never, enjoyed being there as much as I enjoyed being there with her.
I was aware that, all around the room, eyes were on us.
And not just because Mae was the most beautiful woman there.
People were curious. They knew who I was, but Mae was still largely unknown, although I knew the rumor mill would have already begun working.
‘Jonah.’
I turned to see Anna and Myles.
‘Hey.’ I kissed my sister on the cheek and slapped Myles’s hand. ‘Where’s Isabelle?’
‘Over at the bar getting a drink,’ Anna replied, then rolled her eyes. ‘She’s a baby, Jonah. She’s at home with a babysitter. Obviously.’
She turned to Mae. ‘Your glass is almost empty. Should we get another drink? This is the first time I’ve touched alcohol since Izzy was born, and I’ve pumped enough breast milk to last several days. Not to mention Myles and I have a room upstairs for the night. Let’s get drunk.’
‘Uh.’ Mae looked at me.
‘Just go with her,’ I told her. ‘She’s such a lightweight she’ll be drunk after two wines and ready for her bed.’
Anna shrugged. ‘He’s not wrong. Hey.’ She winked at her husband. ‘This might be the night baby number two gets conceived.’
I groaned. ‘Too much information, man. I don’t want to think about my sister and my best friend getting it on.’
‘Lucky you don’t know what we did in the bathroom at your twenty-first then.’ Anna grinned, tucking her arm through Mae’s. ‘Come on. Let’s leave the men to talk about boring stuff.’
I watched them head to the bar. The crowd parted to let them through, and more than a few heads turned to watch after them. I felt a swell of pride that Mae was here with me.
‘I heard about what happened on the boat,’ Myles said, taking a swig of the whiskey in his hand. ‘It must have been terrifying.’
‘It was about the most scared I’ve ever been,’ I admitted.
‘You had us all worried. Your sister even prayed, you know that?’
I stared at him, surprised. ‘She did?’
He nodded. ‘In all the years I’ve known her, I have never known her to express any interest in religion. But that night, she prayed.’
I rubbed a hand over my face wearily. ‘I hate that I worried everyone.’
‘But?’ he prompted.
‘How did you know there was a but?’
‘I’ve been your best friend since we were kids, remember? I know when you’ve got something on your mind.’
‘That obvious, huh?’
‘Maybe not to everyone. But to me, yeah.’
‘Like I said, I hate that I made everyone worry. But it’s really brought everything into perspective.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I know what I want. And what I don’t.’
‘Are we talking about the hotel or Mae?’
‘Both.’
‘Good.’ He took a deep breath and exhaled. ‘Because there’s something I need to talk to you about.’
I pulled a face, noticing my parents approaching. ‘It’ll have to wait.’
‘I really wanted to talk privately first.’
His tone was urgent. I looked at him sideways as my parents joined us.
‘Jonah.’ My mother leaned forward and I kissed her on the cheek.
Anna and Mae came back, drinks in hand. Mae passed me a glass of champagne and moved quietly to stand by my side.
I loved that she felt safe there. Truth be told, I felt safe with her there too.
Not physically, but in the knowledge that I had someone beside me who knew me for me. Who would have my back, no matter what.
‘What do you think?’ Dad asked me. He had come a long way in the few weeks since his stroke. He’d lost weight and was walking with the aid of a cane for support, but he was looking more and more like the Gray of old. His spark was back.
‘About what?’
He looked at Myles. ‘You haven’t told him yet?’
‘I was just about to.’
‘Tell me what?’
They exchanged glances, as if unsure as to who should do the talking.
‘Let’s step outside into the foyer,’ Dad suggested. ‘All of you. This concerns the family.’
‘I’ll wait here for you,’ Mae said, giving my arm a gentle squeeze.
‘Nice try,’ I told her. ‘But you’re with me, and that makes you part of this family. You’re coming with.’
‘I don’t think your mother will feel the same way.’
‘Since when have I cared what she thinks?’
She studied me, reaching a decision. ‘OK. I’ll come. To support you.’
I pulled her in for a quick cuddle, kissing her head. ‘Thank you.’
Out in the foyer, we found the rest of the family already gathered around in the waiting area, next to the large fireplace.
‘OK,’ I said, as we joined them. ‘What’s this all about?’
‘I’ve asked Myles to take over running the hotel,’ Dad said finally. ‘And he’s accepted.’
I gaped at my best friend. ‘Seriously?’
‘Only on the condition that it’s OK with you,’ he replied. ‘I don’t want to step on your toes.’
‘Are you kidding?’ Anna elbowed her husband. ‘You know Jonah’s never wanted the job.’
Myles nodded. ‘I do. But still, as the oldest son it’s his birthright, and I don’t want to do anything that might affect our friendship.’
I processed his words. ‘This is something you’re really interested in doing?’
‘Yeah, it is.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since always. When we were growing up I always admired your parents and how they turned this place around. I mean, the accountancy business has been great, as a starting point, but I want more. I have a lot of ideas for this place. Nothing drastic,’ he added quickly when my mother’s eyebrows shot up.
‘But I’m excited to do this, and I haven’t been excited about my career in a while. ’
Eleanor nodded slightly. ‘Myles’s passion and enthusiasm are what this place needs. What it deserves.’
‘And you’re happy with this?’ I asked her.
She sniffed. ‘I wouldn’t say happy, exactly. I’m disappointed that you insist on avoiding your obligations and responsibilities, but at least it will be run by someone in the family. Of sorts.’
‘Woah, excuse me?’ Anna pulled herself up to her full height and glared at her. ‘There’s no of sorts about it, Mom. He is my husband. The father of your grandchild.’
‘You know what I meant.’
‘I don’t think I do,’ Anna retorted.
Myles placed a hand placatingly on her arm. ‘It’s OK.’
‘See.’ Mom gestured. ‘He understands.’
‘Stop it,’ David interjected loudly. It was so out of character that everyone immediately shut the hell up and stared at him. ‘That was a horrible thing to say, Mom. Whether you meant it that way or not.’ He took his wife’s hand in his. ‘Do you consider Sophie to be a part of this family?’
‘Of course,’ she replied. ‘You know I do. But they’re not Sawyers by blood, are they? That’s all I meant. I don’t understand why you’re all getting upset with me. You know how I feel about this hotel. Control should remain in our family.’
‘And it will,’ Sophie shot back. ‘Because Myles is family.’
David shook his head. ‘You should be happy, Mom. Myles will do a far better job of running the place than Jonah ever would have.’ He flicked me an apologetic look. ‘No offense. I just mean that he’ll probably do a better job because he actually wants the job,’ he clarified.
I held up my hands, touched that my siblings were sticking up for me, even if it had taken their spouses being insulted for it to happen. ‘None taken. I completely agree.’
‘I know that Myles will be more than capable,’ Mom said. ‘I’m not disputing that. But that doesn’t change the fact that it should be Jonah.’
Mae stepped forward slightly. ‘Eleanor, with all due respect, you’re lucky Jonah still talks to you after the way you’ve treated him.’
My mother reeled back, her normal composure slipping under her shock at being spoken to in that manner. ‘Excuse me? What would you know about anything? Are you a mother? No. So don’t you dare to presume you know anything about how I’ve raised my children.’
‘You’re right, I’m not a mother. But I don’t need to be to know that’s not how you treat someone you love.’
Eleanor stared at her impassively. ‘Are you going to let her talk to me like that, Jonah?’
I took a sip of my drink and shrugged. ‘It’s not up to me to let her do anything, Mother. She’s her own person. She can do as she wants.’
‘If you think I’m being disrespectful, that’s fine,’ Mae told her. ‘I can live with that. What I can’t live with, is watching you treat this man, your son, as if he’s a failure.’
‘Now you’re just putting words in my mouth.’ My mother stood up, signaling to my father. ‘Come along, Gray. We need to get back in there and socialize, before people start to think something’s wrong.’
‘Something is wrong,’ I said quietly. ‘David is right. You should be happy now that Myles has agreed to take over this place. And yet, you’re not. You’re still disappointed in me.’ I shook my head. ‘It doesn’t matter what I do, does it? I’m never going to be good enough for you.’
‘Stop being dramatic, Jonah,’ she replied, sighing. ‘I am proud of you. It’s not wrong for a mother to want the best for her son. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for any of you.’
‘You’ve never given Anna or David half the grief you’ve given me though.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Sorry, Mom, but it is,’ Anna agreed. ‘You’ve always been harder on him. And I was just so glad that you weren’t focusing on my life so I did nothing about it. But now that I’m a mom myself? I find it hard to understand. I’m sorry I never stood up for you, Jonah.’
I swallowed hard. Hearing her apologize made me realize how much resentment I was actually holding on to. ‘Thanks.’
‘Yeah,’ David agreed. ‘I’m sorry too.’
‘What is this?’ Mom asked, staring around at our faces. ‘Suddenly I’m a bad mother?’
Anna shook her head. ‘That’s not what we’re saying.’
‘She’s right. You’re not a bad mother,’ I corrected her. ‘But I think I need some space. At least until you can accept that my life, is my life.’
‘I will when you stop wasting your life,’ she retorted.
Beside me, Mae sucked in her breath sharply.
‘How dare you? You’ve spent so much of Jonah’s life trying to pressure, manipulate and guilt him into doing your bidding,’ she said.
‘Being disappointed in him for not being who you want him to be, and you’ve completely missed out on seeing him for the wonderful, kind, adventurous, clever and loving man that he is.
Have you ever stopped to ask him what he wants to do? ’