Chapter 16
‘How do you get the corners so neat?’
‘I wrap presents for a living.’ I grin at Ollie across the living-room coffee table where we’re wrapping multiple boxes of chocolates, slinkys, and elf socks for our guests to open on Christmas morning.
‘You’d be surprised by how much of window dressing involves wrapping empty boxes to make them look like giant ribbon-tied presents.
Also, my mum is all about presentation at Christmas so I learnt from an early age… ’
‘…that even slinkys need a sprig of holly attached to their gift card?’
‘Exactly.’ I grin at him as I write the card for Michelle and Halston’s son Xander and add the box to the pile behind me.
Ollie looks at his attempt forlornly. ‘This is awful. How is it possible that I can make a simple box look this bad? It looks like it had seventeen sides before it was run over by a lorry.’
‘It’s all part of the fun of Christmas,’ I say, even though I will absolutely have to unwrap it and re-do it because no one can host a perfect Christmas with gifts looking like that.
This really is the fun part for me. Ollie’s off work.
Yesterday we faced the Big Shop in the adorable supermarket that counts as ‘big’ on the outskirts of Campbeltown, and filled the kitchen with all sorts of crisps, dips, nuts, other nibbles, and everything that’s sold year-round but repackaged for Christmas in a tub, along with cracker selections and enough cheese to fill several dozen cheeseboards.
Between us, we’re working through the to-do lists from the fridge door.
The bosses arrive tomorrow and the decorating is as finished as it’s ever going to get.
Every tree is perfect. Every room has an undecorated tree and a box of decorations and lights for each set of guests to decorate themselves.
Every garland is lit up and adorned with as many decorative bits as I could feasibly tie on.
Outside, I found some oversized round bells, filled them with lights and hung them from the trees around the castle grounds.
I’ve lined the driveway with snowflake stake lights, and got my star on top of the spire, despite Hamish’s protestations.
Nancy is upstairs preparing the guest rooms and Hamish is out the back somewhere, giving the grass a final trim and making sure that any rogue weeds are well and truly dead for winter.
I’m just moving onto the next slinky when the intercom from the front gate notification sounds on Ollie’s phone and he goes to get it from where he’s left it in the hallway. He leaves the living-room door open, and I hear the strains of a very familiar voice and scramble to my feet.
‘It’s not that button, it’s this one, silly! Now speak into it!’
Ollie is looking at the grainy black-and-white video from the gate camera on his phone and trying not to laugh. ‘Lost tourists, I think.’
Oh, God. Oh, no. That cannot be who I think it is. It’s like the two halves of my life have clanged together in a bizarre explosion of bewilderment. ‘Those are not tourists. They’re my parents!’
The voice that comes out doesn’t even sound like my voice, because this can’t be happening. My parents live in Ipswich, five hundred miles away. What on earth are they doing trying to figure out how to use the intercom outside Ollie’s gate?
‘No, it’s this one. The one that clearly says “press here”. Honestly, you two are impossible!’ Mira appears on the screen and presses the right button, and then her voice comes through the phone. ‘Hello, we’re looking for Lula Haines?’
‘Be right there,’ he replies into the phone, but his wide eyes stay on me. ‘They’re your parents?’
‘My parents and sister. I have no idea what they’re doing here, I didn’t invite them, I swe—’
I expect him to be angry with me, to shout, tell me to get rid of them immediately, but his face shifts into an expression of happiness. ‘Oh, I’m overjoyed! I felt so bad for making you miss Christmas with them! This is wonderful! We’d better let them in!’
He opens the door and holds his hand out, and we walk down the driveway hand in hand.
‘Ollie, I can send them away right now.’ I hurry to keep up with him because he’s moving quickly in his rush to meet my parents. ‘Just say a quick hello and I’ll tell them they can’t be here. They’re not part of the pretence. They’ll ruin everything.’
He stops and turns to look at me. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay?’ I raise an eyebrow. He’s worked so hard to make this Christmas perfect, he certainly wasn’t expecting half my family to show up at the last minute. There’s no way he’s okay with this.
‘Okay.’ He nods in confirmation. ‘I would rather lose this job than turn your parents away.’
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Yes, I do.’
He does. I know he does. I can see he does.
Mum’s seen us coming and started waving and making squeaky noises, and Ollie tugs my hand to get me moving again, even though I’m still caught in a haze of bafflement.
If someone had asked me what the last thing I expected today was, my parents turning up at the castle gates wouldn’t even have made my list of possibilities.
I don’t miss the look on Mum’s face when she clocks our joined hands, and I quickly let go so Ollie can unlock the chain that prevents nosy tourists from wandering in.
He pulls the heavy gates open to reveal my mum, dad, and Mira standing outside, while Brian is in the car behind them with Rocco in his booster seat in the back.
Amidst introducing himself to the chaos of so many people at once, Ollie shuffles everyone aside to let him drive in and directs him towards the parking area.
‘What are you all doing here?’ My voice comes out as a bamboozled mix between laughing and wailing.
‘You told us where you were staying. A quick Google and it wasn’t hard to find, and you know how your mother’s always wanted to visit the Mull of Kintyre,’ Dad says while shaking Ollie’s hand.
‘It wouldn’t be right to spend Christmas without both our girls, so we thought we’d surprise you and check into a hotel nearby.
You’ll have some time off on Christmas Day to see us, won’t you? ’
‘Have you booked it yet?’ Ollie asks, and when Dad shakes his head, he continues. ‘Then I won’t hear of it. You’re more than welcome here. It would be an honour to have you. The more, the merrier.’
If Mum had a fan, she’d be waving it in front of her face.
It isn’t just me who finds it impossible not to fall for Ollie’s gentlemanly charm, but I catch his eyes and make a ‘what are you doing?’ face.
He can’t seriously be inviting my parents to stay when his bosses will certainly not leave here with the impression we’re married if my parents get involved.
‘Good heavens, look at this place!’ Mum looks around in awe and then wraps me in a hug.
‘And look at you, you’re practically glowing!
And you!’ She turns to Ollie and reaches up to pat his face.
‘Oh, you are a real Prince Charming! You’re the most handsome son-in-law I’ve ever had! No offence, Brian!’
‘None taken,’ Brian calls from the car where he’s lifting suitcases out of the boot.
Ollie gives Mira a hug and shakes Dad’s hand for a second time, but Mum has embarrassed him so much that his cheeks are currently contributing to global warming, and he goes over to say hello to Rocco and help Brian with the luggage.
‘It’s not real, Mum!’
‘I know that, silly, but we’re just playing along, aren’t we? Mira’s filled us in on the real reason you came up here.’
‘You can’t act like he’s your son-in-law that you’ve never met before, you were supposed to have been at our wedding!’
‘The visitors aren’t here yet, are they?’
‘No. Tomorrow.’
‘Then you’ve got plenty of time to fill us in!’ She hugs me again. ‘Oh, it is good to see you! And this place is delightful! I always knew Paul McCartney could never be wrong!’
When released from the car, Rocco gives me an impatient hug before zooming around the driveway like an aeroplane and nearly toppling into the fountain, while Ollie and Brian take the luggage between them, and I lock up the gates and herd my parents and Mira inside.
‘The castle is stunning,’ Dad says while Mum admires the giant nutcracker outside the door. ‘Did you really do all this, Lu?’
‘All Lula’s work.’ Ollie leaves the suitcases by the stairs and drops his arm around my shoulders. ‘It would be nothing without her. Thank you for lending me your daughter’s talents this year. It’s been the most… enlightening month of my life.’
I meet his eyes again because that was a good word choice.
‘Finally, something with soul.’ Mira strokes a poinsettia leaf while Mum peers at the Christmas village, whose 1800s villagers have had their numbers bolstered by several Lego figures and My Little Pony horses over the past couple of weekends.
‘What a contrast to those soulless corporate windows you keep doing in London. This is something you actually care about.’
‘I do. This place deserves to be showcased at its best.’ I reach up and squeeze Ollie’s hand where it’s resting around my shoulders, and then quickly let go when I spot the four pairs of eyes on us.
Rocco is distracted by taking baubles off the tree and throwing them onto the floor or he would’ve noticed too.
Ollie drops his arm and picks up the basket of Santa hats and reindeer antler headbands that we’ve left in the entrance hall and offers it around.
‘Take any you want, Lula’s making them mandatory for all guests, even though I can think of a couple of very staid men and their glamorous wives who are not going to agree to that. ’
‘And I’ve told you, Christmas is all about fun in our house.
No work talk!’ It’s a discussion we’ve had multiple times this week and every time we end up on different sides of the half-serious-half-joking argument, but I catch the look between Mira and Brian because it’s very ‘old married couple’ for two not-old, not-married, not-a-couple people.