Chapter 28
Sitting bolt upright in bed, she placed her palm against her heart. She could feel it hammering in her chest.
What was she doing? She was stringing poor Rowan along.
He’d made it perfectly clear that he thought he could trust her, and he’d also made it perfectly clear what he thought of people who cheated.
She shouldn’t have let them get closer without telling him.
She shouldn’t have let him believe they could have a future together.
She just wanted it so badly. She wanted to be able to forget Tyler, to forget the past and move on, but would Rowan allow her to do so when he found out the truth?
There wasn’t anything she wanted more right now in the world than to have Rowan by her side.
But she shouldn’t have let him believe that could be a possibility.
He didn’t know the truth about her yet, and when she told him that she’d dated and moved in with a married man, then he’d run a mile.
She was playing with her heart and his, and it wasn’t fair to him.
Flopping back against the pillows, she closed her eyes again.
Spending time with Rowan over these past few days had been wonderful.
Skating with him had been the best, a memory she’d always hold dear to her heart.
But now she was thinking clearly, the excitement of a new relationship with him was tinged with a deep sadness that she was about to lose him before anything had truly begun between them.
She reached up and covered her eyes with her hands, a low sob escaping her lips.
She should never have put him in this position.
She should have been upfront with him in the first place, told him all that he needed to know.
Heck, why hadn’t she told him when he’d opened up to her about his past relationship?
Because she’d been scared, that’s why. She’d assumed the worst and hadn’t wanted to push him away. Now, though, she had no choice; she had to tell him. He had a right to know, and he’d likely find out at some point; it would come up in conversation, or she’d tell Laura and it would slip out.
Plus, of course, this was just exhausting. She was exhausted trying to watch her words, making sure she didn’t say something which would lead to a difficult conversation.
Stabbing the paintbrush into the jar of water, Scarlett watched as a swirl of green spun in the water, suspending in the liquid for a few seconds, trailing from the paintbrush before colouring the water a translucent pale green.
Turning back to the image of Meadowfield’s Christmas tree on the page in front of her, she smiled sadly.
Yes, it wouldn’t make it into a craft fair, not this year at least. Yesterday had been her last one before Christmas.
But this wasn’t to sell, this was for her.
It was a memory, frozen in time. She’d add the ice rink and empty stalls encircling the tree later, perhaps even add the small figures of her and Rowan.
Yes, a memory to be treasured. Yawning, she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Even if that was all she had of the spark between her and Rowan – a short, fleeting memory – then at least she’d have this too. A small token to remind her.
After waking up, she hadn’t been able to get back to sleep and had instead begun the day’s chores before the guests began filtering down from upstairs, probably a little surprised that the pastries were already laid out for them and coffee was in the cafetiere without Scarlett rushing around.
Since then, she’d stripped the beds, put a wash on and cleaned the rooms. Now at eleven forty-five, she was treating herself to some time alone to paint.
Nicola had welcomed Miss Cooke and the other members of the Community Hub, minus Rowan this time, for their meeting, and all she had to do was twiddle her thumbs.
Although that wasn’t quite true; she should have taken the opportunity to walk into the village centre to see if the part for the heater had been delivered into Neil Parson’s Hardware Store but instead she’d told herself the delivery would likely be delayed due to the light dusting of snow.
In truth, she just wanted to live in this moment a little longer.
She didn’t want to break the spell of her and Rowan.
She knew she had to speak to him about her and Tyler’s relationship, but if she didn’t see him then she didn’t need to tell him, did she?
Dabbing the excess water from the paintbrush against the side of the jar, Scarlett filled the bristles with a little more paint before yawning again.
‘You look shattered. Didn’t you get much sleep last night?’ Nicola bustled into the kitchen carrying a large tray of empty cups and plates.
‘Sorry. No, not much.’ Scarlett plunged the paintbrush into the water again and pushed her chair back, ready to stand up. ‘I’ll help you with that.’
‘Don’t worry, you carry on.’ Nicola glanced towards the open kitchen door before lowering her voice.
‘I’m quite happy getting the refreshments otherwise Miss Cooke tries to rope me into sitting in on their meeting and the last thing I want or need right now is to feel forced to become a member of the Community Hub.
What with Pennycress and supporting Charlie on the farm, I don’t have the time to sneeze, let alone organise a village event or anything. ’
‘Haha, fair enough.’ Scarlett shrugged. She was grateful for this downtime she could use to paint. Art was her therapy, her time to herself where she could while away the hours and focus on what she was creating rather than whatever was happening in her life at the time.
‘Sorry, I’ve just realised I didn’t ask you how the Christmas market went.
What with the tree incident yesterday and then today, I feel I’ve spent the majority of the morning either on call, booking guests in, or running around after Miss Cooke.
’ Nicola laughed as she filled the cafetiere with water.
‘It was good, thanks.’ Scarlett rubbed at her eyes. ‘I sold so much. Are all craft fairs in Meadowfield so busy?’
‘Yes. We complain about Miss Cooke and her authoritarian ways, but honestly, she’s amazing for the village.
She works so hard to build connections within the community, both in Meadowfield and the wider area too, so when it comes to any events held here, they’re always packed out.
’ Nicola plucked fresh mugs from the mug tree and held one up in Scarlett’s direction. ‘Coffee?’
‘Yes, please.’ That was interesting. She’d almost made more money than the last four events she’d been to all together in the space of a few hours at the market in Meadowfield and she had wondered if it was simply because it was so close to Christmas and people were particularly disorganised or else held off buying some gifts as they knew what to expect from the market, but if other events were similarly packed out, then maybe it’d be worth her sticking around a little.
Or at least returning to Meadowfield for a handful of future events.
‘It sounds as though whatever she’s doing works then. ’
‘Yep, it sure does. And if that means we, as villagers, are subjected to fortnightly village meetings, then so be it. They’re just an inconvenience we’ve got to bear.’
‘Ooh, yes, the village meetings. Laura told me all about them.’ Scarlett grinned. From what Laura had told her over the phone, they were quaint and quirky to say the least.
‘Well, you’ll get to experience one for yourself tonight.’ Nicola placed a mug of steaming coffee on the table in front of Scarlett. ‘You may have got away with the last one but, this time with you working here, I’m afraid I don’t fancy your chances of skipping it.’
‘Tonight?’ Dragging the mug across the table, Scarlett smiled. ‘Thank you.’
‘Yep, tonight and everyone living in the village is expected to come along.’ Nicola began filling the tray with cups and saucers. ‘And before you try to wriggle out of it, Miss Cooke knows you’re working and staying here.’
‘Ah, so I’ll have to come then.’ Scarlett frowned.
Any other time she’d have been excited to attend.
Yes, by the sounds of it, the meeting would be full of gossip and mountains made out of molehills and the like, but she’d always thought it would be quaint, cute even to feel part of a close-knit community like Meadowfield, even if it was only for a short while.
But if every single person from the village was expected to attend, then Rowan would be there too, and she wasn’t ready to have her perfect little snow globe world smashed apart.
Not just yet. She’d already replied to his earlier message asking if she was free for lunch or had time to meet up today with the excuse of being busy at Pennycress.
She looked down at her painting in front of her.
She was busy. She was. Just not with anything that couldn’t be postponed until another time.
‘It’ll be nice. The last meeting before Christmas is always special.
’ Nicola shrugged as she placed a small milk jug and a pot of sugar on the tray, squeezing them between the lip of the tray and the saucers.
Picking it up, she frowned as her mobile rang from her back pocket.
Replacing the tray on the work surface, Nicola fished her mobile from her pocket and grimaced.
‘I’d better take this. It’s the vets for Trixie.
I’ve been trying to get her in for her vaccination for weeks now, so hopefully this means they’ve finally got a supply in. ’
Pushing her chair back, Scarlett stood up. ‘You answer it, I’ll take these through.’
‘Thanks.’ Walking towards the back of the kitchen, Nicola spoke into her phone.