Chapter 32
‘…jingle all the way…’ Holding the song sheet Miss Cooke had personally handed out as everyone arrived, Scarlett quietly sang along to the carol.
This was her favourite one, and in previous years, she’d have jumped at the chance to attend a carol service like this, but this evening she had only one thing on her mind and that was speaking to Rowan.
Or if that wasn’t possible then somehow giving him the letter she’d spent the afternoon writing.
As the carol ended a round of applause echoed around the green, resounding off the shopfronts surrounding them.
It was a cold evening and the sky threatened snow, making Scarlett wonder if Laura’s warning would come true and the snowstorm that had delayed her and Jackson’s flight was making its way towards them.
Hundreds of people were gathered beneath the large Christmas tree at the centre of the village, the fairy lights and old-fashioned Victorian-style streetlights illuminating the gathering.
The sheer number of people had surprised Scarlett.
There were faces she recognised as residents of Meadowfield from the village meeting, as well as new people she imagined were either family and friends staying with loved ones over the festive season, or else had made a special trip to Meadowfield for the carol service.
‘Here we go again.’ Nicola nudged Scarlett’s arm as she nodded towards the group of people heading their way.
Filling a takeaway cup with the rich hot chocolate mixture, Scarlett prepared for the onslaught of customers.
She had no idea how long the carol service was supposed to last but they were only halfway through the song sheet she’d been given, and they’d already had three breaks between carols.
Plastering a smile to her face, she raised her voice above the general hubbub of the crowds. ‘Merry Christmas, what can I get you?’
‘Just a hot chocolate and a slice of Victoria sponge please.’ The man spoke quickly whilst looking over his shoulder.
‘Certainly. Here’s the hot chocolate.’ Scarlett waited until he’d turned back to face her before holding out the takeaway cup. What was he looking at?
‘Thanks.’ Again, he turned back to look at something.
After cutting the slice of Victoria sponge, Scarlett held it between them and cleared her throat. ‘And your cake.’
Snapping his head back to look at Scarlett, the man smiled sheepishly. ‘Thank you. Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just with the band and I’ve sneaked away for provisions.’
Ah, that made sense. She waved away the money he held out towards her. ‘It’s on the house, or the inn. Your music is lovely.’
‘Thank you. That’s really kind.’ The man grinned before darting back towards the bandstand, visibly relieved to have seemingly got away with his short break, making it back in time before Miss Cooke noticed he had disappeared.
Scarlett stood on her tiptoes as she caught sight of Rowan and his coffee cart, sighing as a cluster of people wandered over towards him and blocked her view.
She’d offered to leave Pennycress early to ensure they were set up ready in time for the carol singing and had hoped she’d be able to catch Rowan before people had begun to arrive, but she’d failed in that task.
He’d arrived with ten minutes to spare and in that time, Miss Cooke had spoken to him for seven minutes and then for the remaining three, she had held Scarlett captive discussing the origin of the cocoa in the hot chocolate they were serving.
Still, the night wasn’t over yet. With half of the carol singing to go, she was sure she’d be able to catch his attention at some point. Or at least she hoped so.
‘Hello, Scarlett, love. This looks lovely.’ Mrs Pierce paused beside the stall, further blurring Scarlett’s view. ‘Could I have three hot chocolates please?’
‘Yes, of course.’ Scarlett began ladling the hot chocolate into the cups. ‘Are you enjoying the evening?’
‘Yes, I am, thank you, love. My granddaughter and her husband have brought over my great-granddaughter for the evening. It’s her first experience of a carol service.’ Mrs Pierce beamed before twisting on the spot and searching the crowd. ‘Hang on, I’ll call them over and you can meet them.’
‘That’ll be lovely.’ Scarlett smiled. Whenever she stepped foot inside the bakery, Mrs Pierce was full of news of her great-granddaughter, with tales of her having tried avocado for the first time or having a new tooth break through her gums. She was definitely one proud great-grandmother.
After waving and getting the attention of her granddaughter, Mrs Pierce stood aside as the three of them weaved through the crowds towards the stall.
‘Rebecca, Ian and little Olivia, I’d like you to meet Scarlett.
Scarlett, I’d like you to meet my granddaughter, her husband and my great-granddaughter. ’
‘Hi, lovely to meet you.’ Leaning over the stall, Scarlett waved towards the little baby in her pram. ‘I’ve heard so much about you, Olivia.’
‘Are you going to show Scarlett your new tooth?’ Mrs Pierce leaned forward and ruffled little Olivia’s hair.
‘Aw, she’s gorgeous.’ Scarlett began passing the takeaway cups across to Rebecca and Ian.
‘She’s the apple of my eye, aren’t you, sweetheart?’ Mrs Pierce kissed her fingers before placing them against Olivia’s cheek and then turned towards Scarlett to take her drink. ‘Thank you, Scarlett, and Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas.’ Scarlett waved the family goodbye just as Miss Cooke’s voice filled the green, announcing the singing would now begin again.
As the crowds dispersed and hurried towards the front of the bandstand, their song sheets at the ready, Scarlett looked across towards Rowan.
This was her chance. Now, with the tune of ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ being played, the villagers and visitors alike were entranced by the carol and Rowan was wiping the counter down getting ready for the next interval.
‘I won’t be a moment.’ Scarlett glanced towards Nicola and Charlie as they stood, arms wrapped around each other, singing along.
As she crossed the green towards him, Scarlett shoved her hand in her pocket and checked she still had the letter. Yep, it was still there, folded into four.
Reaching his coffee cart, Scarlett realised he hadn’t spotted her walking towards him. His shoulders were hunched as he refilled the tiny packets of sugar in the tray on the counter. Pausing, she cleared her throat. ‘Rowan?’
Snapping his head up, an expression mixed with surprise and hurt washed over Rowan’s face and he quickly glanced around as though looking for an interruption, someone to save him from the upcoming awkward conversation.
‘Can we talk? Please?’ It took all her willpower not to reach out to him, not to place her hand over his, not to run around to the other side of the counter and draw him into her arms, to feel his arms around her. She clasped her hands in front of her.
Reluctantly pausing in his task, Rowan shook his head slightly, his eyes still focused on the tiny packets of sugar. ‘I don’t think that’s such a good idea.’
‘Please. You’ve not heard the whole story, the real story.
Please just let me explain.’ Scarlett dug her nails into the palms of her hand.
He wasn’t going to let her talk, was he?
He wasn’t going to give her the chance to tell him her side.
But if he knew… If he would only listen…
‘Please just give me two minutes of your time and then I’ll walk away and leave you alone. ’
Placing the sugar packets he was holding down on the counter, Rowan met her gaze for the first time.
It was then that Scarlett noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes, the pain in his gaze.
‘I can’t. As much as I want to believe there’s a simple explanation and that your ex was lying, he wasn’t, was he?
He’s married. You were dating a married man. ’
‘I… It wasn’t like that. There’s more to it. I didn’t…’ Scarlett reached out, quickly pulling her hand back as Rowan spoke again.
‘Tell me he wasn’t married. Tell me you weren’t seeing him behind his wife’s back.’ His voice cracked with emotion.
Scarlett shook her head sadly. ‘I can’t.’
With one curt nod, Rowan turned towards the back of the coffee cart.
Standing there, Scarlett dragged the back of her hand across her cheeks, the tears flowing freely.
Everything he’d said had been right and she couldn’t tell him otherwise.
She couldn’t tell him Tyler had been lying.
She couldn’t tell him she hadn’t been dating a married man.
Rowan was right. It was all true. But she hadn’t known.
Pulling the letter from her pocket, she placed it gently on top of the counter and turned on her heel.
It was final. Her and Rowan were over and there wasn’t any going back. She’d never again feel his lips on hers, she’d never again feel his touch, never again feel the world disappear around them as he enveloped her in his arms.
As she reached Pennycress’ stall, she looked up at the sky as snow began to fall. Laura had been right. The snowstorm was coming their way.
Whoops of delight and surprise filled the green, people turning to each other and exclaiming that it would be a white Christmas this year, after all.
‘Please.’ Miss Cooke’s voice erupted above the excited chatter as she tried to calm the group and draw them back to the carol singing.
Scarlett took her place behind the stall and looked across towards Rowan. She watched as he picked up her letter and placed it on the back counter. He wasn’t even going to read it, was he?
Turning her back, she used her scarf to wipe her tears away and blinked. She needed to stop crying. She couldn’t let Nicola or Charlie see her like this. Not on Christmas Eve. Taking a deep breath, she turned back and picked up her song sheet, mouthing the words to the carol being sung.
‘Oh no.’ In the pause between carols, Nicola’s voice sounded from the other end of the stall.
‘What’s the matter?’ Scarlett watched as she came towards her.
Holding up her phone, Nicola grimaced. ‘Look.’
‘What does it say?’ Leaning closer, Scarlett squinted.
‘Sorry, it’s covered in snow.’ Nicola wiped the phone down the front of her coat before holding it out again, but the snow was falling heavier with every minute and the screen was covered just as soon as she’d wiped it clean.
Giving up, Nicola shoved the mobile in her pocket.
‘The food delivery has been cancelled. Apparently, it’s due to the snow but it’s only just started so I don’t understand.
Although I guess it might be worse further that way and might have started earlier? ’
‘Ah.’ Scarlett chewed on her bottom lip.
Most of the items for their Christmas dinner tomorrow had been coming in that order.
What were they going to serve if it didn’t arrive?
If she hadn’t just had that conversation with Rowan, then she was sure she’d be feeling the panic rising but right now she just felt numb. ‘What on earth are we going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’ Nicola pulled her hood further down as she waved Charlie across. ‘Have we got any meat we can use for Christmas dinner tomorrow? The food delivery has been cancelled.’
Wiping the snowflakes from his hair, Charlie shrugged. ‘We’ve probably got a few sausages and things like that. Not a joint or anything but I’m sure we can cobble something together.’
‘Okay, that’s better than nothing.’ Nicola sighed. ‘It will be what it will be, I guess.’
‘Yep, and I bet Aunt Ruth will be able to bring something too. She’s always super organised and will likely be able to make a whole Christmas dinner and all the trimmings with stuff she’s already got at home.
’ Scarlett looked across to the group of people gathered in front of the bandstand. Why hadn’t they started singing again?
‘This is crazy. It’s coming down so fast and look, it’s already settling.’ Nicola waved her hands in front of her in an attempt to bat away the falling snow.
‘It is.’ Scarlett nodded. She fixed her eyes on Rowan who was slumped against the back wall of his coffee cart seemingly oblivious to the excitement going on around him.
‘It looks as though people are beginning to leave. I bet they’re worried about not being able to use the road out of Meadowfield.’ Nicola grimaced.
Scarlett turned towards Nicola and Charlie. ‘Why don’t you two get off now? By the looks of it the carol singing is coming to a natural early ending anyway and you’ve got to get back to Little Mead.’
‘We can’t leave you with all this to clear up on your own.’ Charlie shook his head.
‘Of course you can. There’s not much to take back to Pennycress anyway and I’m sure someone will be around to help if I need it.’ Reaching down, Scarlett picked up Nicola’s handbag from beneath the stall and handed it to her. ‘Go on, before you end up getting stuck in the village.’
Looking across the green towards the road which was now covered in a layer of snow, Nicola frowned. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, of course. Plus, I couldn’t bear to think of poor little Thelma waking up on Christmas Day on her own.
’ Walking towards them, Scarlett ushered them out from behind the stall.
The green had all but emptied now, only Miss Cooke and the brass band members left to pack away.
She glanced across towards Rowan who was still standing there, his arms crossed, lost in his own world.
‘Okay, okay, we’re going. Thank you. And Merry Christmas.’ Turning, Nicola pulled Scarlett into a hug.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Scarlett murmured.
‘Yes, Merry Christmas and we’ll see you tomorrow.’ Charlie grinned as he hugged her.
‘Yes, see you.’ After waving them goodbye, Scarlett turned and began packing away the trays.
Was it awful to feel relieved she was now alone?
After the conversation with Rowan, she just didn’t have the strength to put on a cheerful front for any longer.
The sooner she was behind closed doors and in the privacy of the owner’s suite where she could let her smile slip, the better.