Chapter 33 #2
Doing as instructed, Scarlett closed the door behind her and leaned briefly against it, the cold of the wood against her back.
Closing her eyes, she felt a wave of sadness rush over her, threatening to consume her.
She couldn’t allow it though; she couldn’t slip back into a world of self-pity.
She could hear the O’Sullivans laughing and joking with each other in the kitchen and she knew she had to put on a show for them, she knew she had to pretend to be happy, pretend that her life wasn’t falling apart around her – again.
It was Christmas Day and soon she’d have Laura and Jackson’s family and friends descending on her; she didn’t have time for self-pity.
Taking a deep breath in, she pushed herself away from the door as she heard the doorbell ring out and fill the hallway.
Sheila and Keith must have forgotten something.
She pulled the door open, once again the wind carrying a mini blizzard with it.
As she blinked against the snow, she froze as she made out the figure standing in front of her. It wasn’t Sheila. It wasn’t Keith.
‘Rowan.’ His name caught in her throat as she stepped backwards in surprise. She’d have been less shocked to see the big man, Santa, himself standing in the doorway.
‘Hi, do you mind if I come in, please?’ He shifted from foot to foot.
‘Umm, I guess not.’ Opening the door wider, Scarlett stood back and watched as he walked inside, pausing on the doormat to stomp the clumps of snow from his boots.
What was he doing here? Had he come over to reiterate what an awful person she was?
Didn’t he think she knew that already? She cleared her throat and spoke, her voice weak to even her own ears. ‘Merry Christmas.’
Looking up, he frowned before answering as though he hadn’t realised the day. ‘Yes, Merry Christmas to you too.’
‘So, what…?’ Closing the door behind him, she looked down at the floor. She could almost still feel the electricity, the connection between them, and she was surprised he couldn’t. Not that it mattered. Tyler had seen to that.
‘I read this.’ Rowan held up the letter she’d written. It was still folded but looked worn, as though he had read it more than once. At least a few times.
Jerking her head up, she locked eyes on him, a flutter of hope forming in her stomach.
He’d read it? She shoved her hands into the pockets of her skirt.
It didn’t mean he was here to reconcile.
He might just as much be here to tell her nothing had changed and to leave him alone.
That look in his eyes, though; did it mean… ? ‘You did?’
‘Yes, and…’ Rowan jumped back as the front door swung open again.
‘We’re back again, I’m afraid. We won’t be chancing it. The roads are horrific and if they’re anything to go by, the road leading up the hill out of Meadowfield will be impassable.’ Sheila tutted as she pulled her gloves off and rubbed her hands together.
‘Yes, I’ve not seen snow like it in years. Decades even. Visiting our friends will have to wait until tomorrow.’ Keith helped Sheila out of her coat. ‘Do you mind if we grab a coffee, love?’
Scarlett tried her best to focus on the pair of guests, but she could barely take her eyes off Rowan, let alone process what Keith was saying.
‘Scarlett?’ Rowan nodded towards Keith.
Shaking her head, she turned and forced a smile. ‘Sorry, yes, there’s coffee in the cafetiere. Could you let the O’Sullivans know what the roads are like please? They’d planned on driving out of the village to visit people too.’
‘Perfect. Yes, of course we will. Come on, Sheila, let’s go through and get a brew.’ Keith hooked his arm through his wife’s and led the way.
With the kitchen door swinging to a close behind them, the silence in the hallway became almost stifling and Scarlett nodded towards the letter still in Rowan’s hand and repeated her last question, hoping he’d give her a straight answer. ‘You read it?’
Rowan nodded as he carefully unfolded the letter and smoothed it out before rubbing the back of his neck. ‘I don’t know what to say, Scarlett.’
There it was then. He’d read it and he was still disgusted by her behaviour.
It was all she could do not to burst into tears right then and there.
‘It’s okay. I just wanted you to know the truth.
I wanted you to realise it wasn’t something I did intentionally and I would never ever have got into a relationship with him if I’d known.
I… I didn’t expect it to change your mind, I just wanted you to know I’m not the person you thought I was. I wouldn’t do that.’
‘I know. I know you wouldn’t and…’ Hs voice cracked with emotion. ‘I should have spoken to you after your ex turned up. I should never have avoided you.’
She frowned. What was he saying? Was he saying he believed her? Was he saying that he understood? ‘You… What do you mean?’
Rowan slipped the letter into his coat pocket before running his fingers through his short hair.
‘I mean, I’ve been a prize idiot. I jumped to conclusions based on my own relationship history and if I’d taken a moment to stand back and really think about things, then I’d have worked out the truth.
I know you, Scarlett. I know you’d never intentionally see someone behind someone’s back, and I should have given you the time to explain. ’
She looked down, watching the snowflakes melt onto the hall floorboards.
‘I’m sorry.’ Walking across to her, he held his hands out towards her, palms up, waiting for hers.
Rubbing at her eyes, Scarlett took a deep breath in.
She didn’t know what to think. Part of her was overwhelmed with relief and the desire to throw herself into his arms whilst the other part couldn’t help but wonder that if she hadn’t written that letter, would he have worked out what had happened for himself or would he have continued to have taken Tyler’s comment at face value?
She shook her head. She was doubting him because of Tyler.
Not because of what Rowan had said but because of him – Tyler – and the way he’d treated her.
Rowan wasn’t Tyler and maybe she just needed to jump in and trust and see where that led them.
Slowly she placed her hands in his. ‘You’re cold. ’
A sheepish smile lit up his face. ‘Well, I have just walked from the other side of the village in a snowstorm.’
‘You walked?’
‘I don’t think I could have driven through it if I’d tried.’
Relaxing, she smiled. He’d walked all that way in this weather just to apologise to her. Stepping forward, she placed her arms around his neck, immediately feeling his arms around her as he enveloped her in a hug.