Chapter 19
19
As the days slipped by, trying as hard as she could, Libby still couldn’t see a way to getting the contract for the chocolate boxes finished on time.
She was starting to feel incredibly anxious, not sleeping properly and then feeling tired all day. The trouble wasn’t the process of making the chocolate, nor even the length of time that took. The problem was that there was just too much for one person to do. But everyone was busy and she liked to oversee everything, so it was all up to her. Besides, she had never asked for help before and wouldn’t start now, she had decided.
However, she realised that no matter how much under-eye concealer she put on, it wasn’t quite enough.
‘Are you all right?’ asked Harriet when she handed Libby a gin cocktail.
Gin night had rolled around again and this time it was being hosted by Harriet in her tiny cottage on Railway Lane.
‘I’m okay,’ replied Libby.
She had been hoping to work a bit later that day but hadn’t wanted to let the girls down so, once more, she hadn’t quite made her self-imposed daily total of chocolate truffles.
She took a sip of her drink before curling her legs up under her on the enormous floor cushion she was sharing with Paddington the dog.
‘You don’t seem okay,’ said Flora, who was sitting on the other side of her.
‘We all get tired and cranky from time to time,’ Libby told them. ‘It’s tough getting a business up and running with everything else going on.’
‘Is there anything we can do to help?’ asked Katy.
‘Just keep filling me up,’ said Libby, with a winning smile as she held up her gin glass before taking a huge gulp.
She felt her friends exchange worried looks but said nothing, deliberately making herself brighten up. Gin, she decided. Gin always helped.
She shuffled under the enormous weight of Paddington’s heavy body, which was almost sprawled on top of her. ‘I know it’s your cushion,’ she told the dog. ‘But I do have to sit somewhere.’
As her friends began to chat about the wedding, Libby was thankful that they weren’t pressing her too much that evening. For once, she just wanted to relax and not think about anything. She sipped her gin cocktail, just grateful for the alcohol slipping through her and numbing the pain.
Her dad had been extremely fretful since finding out about her losing her job. He hadn’t expressed himself, of course. He never got upset these days. He didn’t appear to feel anything. But the worry was most definitely there. So she spent any time with him being overly bright, optimistic and cheerful and felt absolutely exhausted by the lie.
She didn’t want to lie to her friends either. They didn’t need protecting, thankfully. But she still felt as if she were playing a part the whole time and it was tiring.
‘So are you planning on bringing a plus-one to the wedding?’ asked Harriet, suddenly turning her cheery face towards Libby.
Libby felt everyone look at her. Of course, she was the only single one amongst them now. They were all happy and loved up. She had been lying about the number of dates that she had been going out on for a couple of years now. A little white lie that she somehow couldn’t control and now they all expected her to dazzle them with her amazing love life. But that wasn’t true. She hadn’t been on a real and meaningful date for years.
In fact, a tiny part of her wanted love and romance and all that her friends had told her felt so good. But, thankfully, it was mostly shouted down by the rest of her brain that reminded her about her failed marriage.
‘You mean because I appear to be the last spinster around here,’ she drawled, making a face.
‘No! Don’t think of yourself like that,’ said Harriet quickly. ‘Nobody else does.’
Harriet had a huge and generous heart and always liked to think positively of everyone and everything.
‘Exactly,’ said Flora, nodding. ‘You have this amazing life travelling the world.’
Flora had stayed to run the family farm since her late teens and had never really left Cranfield for any length of time. She too had spurned all forms of romance until Nico had arrived from Italy last summer and changed everything for the better for her.
‘I did have,’ said Libby, reminding them of her job loss. ‘Actually, I haven’t yet decided which of the many men in my little black book will be the lucky recipient of being my date at your fabulous wedding,’ she announced with a winning smile.
‘Well, you wait until those bridesmaid dresses arrive next week,’ Harriet told her, with gleaming eyes. ‘You’ll have them lining up for a date.’
‘Oooh, I can’t wait to try mine on,’ said Katy.
‘As soon as they get here, I’ll let you know,’ said Harriet. ‘We could make a day of it on Sunday, if you like. What do you think?’
As her friends all nodded their approval, Libby stayed silent. The thought of taking any more precious time away from making chocolate filled her with dread. Which was ridiculous because it was all about spending time with her friends. She had promised Bob and Eddie that she would help out with the Halloween train the next day, but she didn’t want to finish work early. She didn’t know what was wrong with her at the moment.
‘I guess the dates might dry up a little if you’re no longer around all those hunky pilots,’ murmured Flora.
Libby gave her a look. ‘Thankfully, there are many more fish in the sea,’ she said before draining her gin glass. ‘Fill me up, Katy.’
Katy raised her eyebrows at the speed with which Libby had drunk her gin cocktail but said nothing. Instead, she leaned forward to pour another large measure from the jug on the table.
Thanks to the gin, and only having time to snatch a piece of toast for dinner before she had arrived, the rest of the evening went in a bit of a blur, to Libby’s relief. Conversations passed her by, but she was content to be a bystander, for once. She just wanted someone to invent a time machine to whisk her to when the truffle order was delivered and she could finally relax.
But, in the meantime, the gin was helping, she decided, draining her glass once more.