Chapter 14
14
IVY
Ivy slumped in the velvet chair in Snowman Chalet and stared into the fire. Persuading Ross to hear Miriam out was proving more difficult than she’d imagined. But at least now she knew why he didn’t want to return to the castle, and understood his reticence. She just didn’t agree. There were wounds to fix here, she just had to persuade Ross they were worth mending. It was obvious he craved connection. His relationship with Grizzle proved it. The photos of the castle and his family in his home also told her that he hadn’t really moved on and wasn’t as immune as he pretended to be. She wouldn’t leave that wound festering without trying to fix it.
She got up to check her phone, logging in to her coaching app, and sighed when she read today’s lesson.
‘It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop’ – Confucius.
Ivy pouted at the screen. ‘I’m not giving up, but it doesn’t matter what I say to Ross, he’s determined not to speak to Miriam.’ She shook her head. ‘He misses his family and needs to put things right or he could end up regretting it. ’ She exhaled loudly, abandoning the app without filling in her goals, and went to stare at herself in the large mirror hanging over the sideboard, surprised when she noticed her wild, thick hair and glowing skin. She looked healthy – less pale and pasty than she had in a while. Like a long-neglected plant someone had finally remembered to water and feed.
When someone knocked on the door, Ivy’s heart skipped, hoping it was Ross. But when she swung it open, she found Bonnibell on the front step holding a flask and a Tupperware box.
‘Good morning, hen.’ The older woman beamed, wandering inside the cabin as Ivy stepped out of her way. ‘I heard Ross dropped you off earlier, so I thought I’d bring breakfast and see how you are. I’m so sorry you got stranded at his cabin last night. Did you manage to get any sleep?’
Ivy thought about the night she’d spent staring at the ceiling. ‘A little,’ she lied.
Bonnibell eyed her as if she knew. ‘Did you two stay in the warm?’ she probed as she placed everything on the dresser beside Ivy’s makeup and unscrewed the flask, grabbing two snowman mugs from the pocket of her billowing red cape. ‘There’s coffee and cinnamon buns,’ she added.
Ivy watched Bonnibell pour, and admitted, ‘Not all evening. He took me to see his friend, Grizzle, for a while.’
‘Aye.’ Bonnibell handed Ivy a steaming mug and grinned. ‘How is the curmudgeon?’
Ivy took a sip of the sweet drink and hummed. ‘Okay.’
‘Did he manage to order a pair of spectacles that work yet?’ she asked, clearly well-versed with the older man’s eBay purchases.
It seemed like everyone in the village knew everyone’s business. Ivy wasn’t sure why she liked the idea – maybe because it showed they cared about each other.
‘Not exactly,’ she said, thinking of the pink glasses.
‘And is he eating enough?’ Bonnibell passed Ivy a cinnamon bun.
She took a bite before answering, humming again because it was so delicious. ‘Ross is cooking for him,’ she admitted.
Bonnibell screwed up her face. ‘But the lad’s a terrible cook.’ She scratched a hand through her wavy bob. ‘I’ll have to see if I can get some food to the old man or he’s going to starve. We look after our neighbours – even if they don’t want our help.’
Ivy wondered what Grizzle would make of that. Hopefully it wouldn’t cause any trouble between him and Ross.
‘Did you sort your business out with Ross?’ Bonnibell asked next.
Ivy shrugged. ‘He listened, but I’m afraid he’s not really responding to what I have to say.’ She cleared her throat, clasping her steaming mug before taking a seat by the fire. ‘Has he ever talked about the Ballentines at Hawthorn Castle?’
‘No, hen.’ Bonnibell’s mouth pinched and she opened the Tupperware box and grabbed a bun for herself. ‘He moved here five years ago and he’s always kept himself to himself. Believe me, I’ve tried to bring him out of his shell.’ She looked unhappy. ‘I often wondered if he was related to them, but Ross doesn’t like to share and I wasn’t going to pry. He’s an important part of our resort family and I didn’t want to annoy or scare him off.’
Ivy’s mouth pinched, considering. ‘Miriam Ballentine is his grandmother. I work for her and she sent me to speak with him,’ she admitted. ‘I can’t really tell you any more without breaking a confidence. I probably shouldn’t have told you that.’ But she’d had to confide in somebody.
Bonnibell nodded as she chewed the bun and swallowed, her dark eyes reflective. ‘I’m guessing she’s sent you because she wants to connect with her grandson, hen?’ She held up a palm when Ivy clenched her teeth. ‘I’m just…hypothesising.’ The smile she flashed was warm and just a little mischievous. ‘I’ve known the lad for a while and it always seemed to me that he was escaping from something. I’d have predicted a broken romance, but family are just as capable of smashing our hearts.’
Ivy nodded slowly. ‘In so many ways,’ she blurted, regretting it when Bonnibell’s eyes flashed.
‘I’m not sure if you’re talking about yourself or Ross, and I’m not going to ask, which is going to cost me.’ The older woman’s eyes twinkled and she stood suddenly and swiped her hands over her red velvet skirt. ‘I will say I’d like to see the lad with a smile on his face. He spends too much time alone or with that cantankerous honeypot, Grizzle McGregor.’ She shook her head sadly.
Ivy nodded. ‘Ross told me to go back to the castle. He’s not interested in meeting his grandmother, but everything I’ve seen so far tells me he’s hiding from his true feelings.’ Something in the pit of her stomach tightened. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was afraid of Miriam’s reaction if she returned without fulfilling her task; her mother’s subsequent disappointment because she wouldn’t get on the training programme; or because she’d be leaving Ross with an unresolved conflict in his family. She just knew if she left now, she’d feel she’d failed and worse, she’d be leaving someone she cared for in pain.
‘The lad can be stubborn.’ Bonnibell watched Ivy, her expression serious. ‘Perhaps if you got another chance to speak with him, he’ll be more open to what you have to say?’
‘I don’t know how I’m going to find him again.’ She thought about the long trip across the resort back to the lodge this morning. She already knew there was little chance she’d ever be able to find Ross’s house without directions. ‘I’m guessing he’s going to be trying to avoid me from now on.’ The thought was depressing.
Bonnibell winced. ‘I’d like to suggest you meet him at the resort, but even if I set something up, we both know he’s unlikely to come – which means if you want to see him again, you’ll have to go wherever he is.’
‘I couldn’t find his cabin on my own.’ Ivy wouldn’t find Grizzle’s either, which bothered her a lot because she’d promised to help hang the older man’s Christmas decorations.
‘You know Ross is running a camping adventure later today?’ Bonnibell said, her eyes glittering. ‘Logan Forbes and Kenzy Campbell from Christmas Village are both booked on, and there’s definitely room for one more. I could get Connell to pack an extra tent in the tractor. We don’t necessarily need to warn Ross in advance that you’re coming…’
‘Camping?’ Ivy asked, shivering.
‘Aye, lass.’ Bonnibell smiled. ‘There’s plenty of equipment to handle the cold weather and you’ve got my snowsuit and underlayer to keep you warm. I won’t need them. I’m not planning on fitting in them again.’ Her eyes tracked to the two remaining cinnamon buns in the Tupperware box, and she picked one up and winked. ‘See what I mean? I’ve got a couple of warm sweaters that the members of our local knitting club made, you’re very welcome to have one of those too.’
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. The words from Ivy’s coaching app filled her mind, and this time she heard her mother’s voice. She wasn’t going to achieve anything without talking to Ross again. He needed to reconnect with his family and put the past behind him. She was sure Miriam’s intentions were good – she just had to give them both the chance to talk.
‘I suppose going on another adventure might work,’ she said, wondering if she’d be wasting her time.
‘Can’t hurt, hen,’ Bonnibell declared, finishing off the bun.
‘You’re right,’ Ivy said, steeling herself. ‘Then how do I go about booking on?’
‘You need to stamp, dance or jump on the snow before you pitch your tent,’ Ross instructed, his voice matter-of-fact, demonstrating how to flatten the powdery ground with his large, heavy boots.
Kenzy and Logan chattered happily as they wandered to their allocated spot and began to imitate him, before grabbing each other and starting a sexy tango on the ice.
Ross cleared his throat and turned towards Ivy, his face impassive. ‘It’s important to create a flat and solid surface. Think rock hard, consider how secure you want your guide ropes to be. Your stakes are going to come flying out if the snow isn’t firm enough.’ He pointed upwards. ‘You’ll notice I chose this spot because it’s close to the trees – there’s a spectacular view over the valley and into the resort but we’ll have protection from the wind.’
‘Is it going to snow a lot?’ Ivy asked, suddenly concerned. She was wearing the snowsuit and underlayer and had packed the extra sweater Bonnibell had given her but wasn’t sure she had the right equipment to cope with a storm.
‘I’ve been keeping an eye on the weather and it’s not going to be as stormy as it was last night.’ Ross’s dark eyes skimmed Ivy’s face as if he were reading her thoughts. ‘But don’t worry about the weather, we’ll be perfectly safe.’
‘We’re not worried, we’ll keep each other warm somehow.’ Kenzy laughed, spinning Logan as they continued to dance.
The big man flushed, but was obviously too besotted with his partner to stop.
Ivy glanced around the clearing, wondering if she really should have come. It didn’t help that Ross had looked horrified when he’d driven up to the resort in Connell’s tractor, which was attached to a sleigh piled high with tents and food, and had spotted her waiting outside. He’d said very little as he’d pointed to the seat beside him on the tractor before handing Logan the keys to a snowmobile, but it was obvious from his expression that he hadn’t been happy to see her.
Ivy felt something in her chest squeeze and fought to contain it. She’d thought they’d bonded last night, but perhaps she’d misread the situation. She knew Ross wanted her to leave, but had hoped he’d understand why she’d chosen to stay.
‘You’re going to need to set up over here.’ Ross pointed to a spot to the right of the trees, a few metres away from where Kenzy and Logan were waltzing to the Christmas tune Kenzy was humming under her breath.
Ivy swallowed. ‘Will I be in a tent on my own?’ she asked. When Ross gave her a jerky nod, a swarm of bees took off and buzzed around her stomach and she wrapped her arms around herself.
‘You’ll be fine,’ Ross said, stepping closer.
‘You don’t want me here, I can see it,’ she said bluntly. ‘It makes me wonder if you’re going to feed me to something while I’m asleep.’ She scanned their surroundings, checking for movement. Sleep would be unlikely until she got back to the resort. It was beautiful here though. All sparkles, Christmas decorations and fresh snow. The trees and shrubs were stunning – but what would it be like when the sun went down?
‘That wouldn’t be good for business,’ Ross said briskly, but Ivy thought she saw the hint of a smile. He stepped closer. ‘Tell me, are you really here because you want to experience the wilderness again, or is it because you still think you can convince me to speak to my grandmother?’
Ivy hesitated, contemplating lying. ‘Both.’
He nodded. ‘ Cruella would admire your tenacity.’ His chest heaved. ‘But I appreciate your honesty – at least I can deliver on one of those wishes.’ He turned away. ‘I’ll help you pitch your tent. Bonnibell’s made us dinner, all I need to do is warm it up, then we’ll take a walk in the woods when it starts to get dark. There are some interesting creatures around here at night.’ He gave her a half smile. ‘None of them will want to eat you, but they might be curious enough to come out and take a look. We’ll finish off the adventure by singing Christmas songs in front of the fire.’
‘Sounds perfect,’ Kenzy enthused from a few metres away as she stopped dancing and pulled Logan closer.
‘Are we definitely going to be warm enough?’ Ivy asked.
‘Of course, but Moose and Snowball can sleep in your tent if you’d like?’ Ross offered.
‘Yes please,’ Ivy said, looking into his eyes. ‘I promise not to mention you going to see Miriam again – but if I happen to drop references to your grandmother and brother into conversation, I hope you’ll forgive me?’
Ross held her eyes for a beat and nodded. ‘Talk all you like, Ivy, but I won’t promise to listen.’
She nodded, understanding him perfectly, and watched as he strode to the space he’d allocated for his tent. Watching those long legs and wide shoulders, feeling tingles of awareness slide through her again.
‘He’s impressive, isn’t he? He rarely comes into the village so I can’t say I often get to see him this close up,’ Kenzy suddenly whispered.
When Ivy turned, she saw Logan was helping Ross to flatten the snow.
Ivy swallowed. ‘Yes,’ she agreed, because she suspected the younger woman would see through a lie. Besides, Ross was impressive. He was wounded though and if she could keep her nerve, find the right thing to say, she might be able to help with that. ‘To be clear,’ she said when Kenzy’s eyes sparkled, ‘I’m only here to talk with him – nothing’s going to happen between us.’ If she could achieve her quest to reunite Ross with Miriam then she wasn’t going to be living in Scotland soon, so there was no point in starting anything beforehand.
‘You keep telling yourself that, doll,’ Kenzy sang. ‘But I saw the way he looked at you just now. If you want me to touch up your makeup or style your hair while we’re camping, just shout. No charge.’
‘Here?’ Ivy choked, looking around.
‘I’m not going to let a silly thing like being in the middle of the Scottish wilderness get in between me and a makeover,’ the younger woman chuckled. Then she winked before heading towards Logan, who was now unpacking their tent.
Ivy paced to where her tent was supposed to be erected and started to jump up and down, firming the ice. Then she stopped and tipped her face up, let herself take a moment and breathed in the cool, crisp air, drawing it into her lungs, feeling the cold tickle and tingle in her nostrils. She paused, smelling pine and fir trees, the faintest hint of winter leaves. Feeling the dull ache of longing, wishing she could freeze this moment and that she didn’t have to move to London, before she shook the thought away.
A few minutes later, Ross arrived to check on her progress, carrying a bag. ‘Here’s the tent,’ he said as both Snowball and Moose scattered tiny footprints on the snow surrounding the area she’d compacted. ‘Have you ever pitched one?’ he asked.
‘Not for years. I haven’t slept outside since I was a teenager,’ Ivy admitted. ‘Unless you count dozing on a sunbed.’ She glanced around before looking at him: his skin was glowing. ‘You love it here,’ she said.
His cheeks reddened. ‘I suppose…’
‘Simon likes walking around the castle grounds in the afternoons,’ she said, remembering him disappearing each lunchtime and returning with a similar flush on his cheeks. ‘I used to think it was because he wanted to get away from Miriam, but he talks to the groundsmen, knows all their names.’
Ross let out a long breath. ‘That surprises me. He didn’t much enjoy being in the gardens when we were growing up and he rarely interacted with the staff.’
‘Why do you think he’s suddenly decided being Laird is too much for him?’ Ivy asked.
‘I…’ Ross hesitated, looking concerned, then his eyes clouded. ‘Couldn’t say. I hardly know him anymore. Perhaps he really is just trying to take a break from my grandmother. She’s very driven. Or maybe now that he’s reached the point of taking over all the responsibilities of being Laird, he doesn’t want them anymore.’ His lips pinched. ‘I can understand that.’
‘He has looked stressed recently, and your grandmother has been very demanding.’ Ivy unzipped the bag Ross had dumped on the ground and started to take out pieces of the tent, placing the poles, guide ropes and pegs in tidy piles.
‘I’m sorry about that,’ Ross said thoughtfully. ‘I’ve considered getting in touch a few times over the years, but…’
‘What?’ Ivy turned to look at him.
‘Nothing.’ He shrugged. ‘I suppose I thought he might not want to hear from me. We were close once, but after our parents died, we drifted apart. He tried to contact me a couple of times after I left Hawthorn Castle, but I never got the feeling he really wanted a relationship. I guess I thought he was just doing it because he thought he should.’
‘Because of etiquette? You said the same about Miriam,’ Ivy pointed out.
Ross’s eyes held hers and she thought she saw something in the amber depths – was he re-evaluating? Before she could be sure, he glanced away, checking on Logan and Kenzy’s progress with their tent.
‘You’ve both done a good job of compacting the snow,’ he observed, his tone now matter-of-fact.
It was as if their previous conversation had never happened – or the new reminder of his family had made him uncomfortable? Ivy’s breath caught. Every time she thought she was making progress, Ross pulled away.
‘Now check everything’s out of your bags. In a moment I’ll show you how to pitch your tents.’ With that he strode away.
Ivy watched him as he bent to pet Moose and Snowball before grabbing more equipment, and she was suddenly glad she’d come. Because it was clearer than ever that Ross was hurting, and she was doubly determined to do what she could to fix that.