Chapter 50
ATTICA CORRECTIONAL FACILITY
‘Leave everything in the car,’ Steffi said. ‘But not in plain sight obviously. In the glove box. Or, anything really valuable you should put in the trunk.’
Luca took a breath. This was surreal. They were parked down the street from the prison entrance because Steffi had told him the only people who parked right outside were either family waiting for someone to be released to welcome them back or foes waiting to gun them down in retribution.
The sky was cloud-filled, looking like it was either going to be Armageddon or a snowstorm. Both felt pretty possible.
‘Take your watch off, Luca,’ Steffi said. ‘We’ll put it in the trunk inside my purse, wrapped up in a tarp or whatever’s in there.’
As his sister’s fingers got to the strap of the watch his parents had given him for his twenty-first birthday – fide – he wondered exactly what was in the trunk of his father’s car he was driving.
Evidence? Unlikely, as it had been impounded for some time after his arrest and, to his knowledge, his mom and sister only ever used it to come here.
Memories? Also unlikely given that it had been so long since any new ones had been created and any reminders would now be tainted.
‘Stop overthinking,’ Steffi ordered, pulling the watch from his wrist. ‘If you overthink this it’s harder. You’re gonna see Dad. That’s all. Don’t think about where he is or any of the other stuff.’
‘While you wrap my valuables in a tarp?’
‘You’re overthinking, Luca,’ Steffi stated.
‘I’m thinking and I’m over this already,’ he admitted.
‘But you’re here,’ Steffi reminded him. ‘And Dad is expecting you and it’s not like you can just come back without an appointment.’
‘Yeah,’ he agreed. And he needed to be here.
Because whatever was going on it was threatening his friends and his career and…
Gabriella. She hadn’t exactly reacted how he had thought last night.
Knowing her like he did, he had hoped for bigger, louder, maybe even anger.
Instead he had got only slightly more than complete silence.
She hadn’t said she didn’t want to see him again, but he had felt the shift, the change in her impression of him.
It was always going to be a risk. Was he glad he had taken it? He was glad he’d been honest.
‘Brain, Luca!’ Steffi said. ‘Switch it off.’
‘That’s easier said than done.’
‘Then tell me everything that’s on your mind,’ Steffi suggested.
He looked at his sister in the passenger seat, dressed in a camo denim skirt with thick black socks and knee-high Converse, black padded coat over the top.
She always styled herself exactly for the personality she wanted to convey.
Strong, not to be messed with, but he knew it was all armour to protect the soft, sensitive and vulnerable individual she was.
‘I don’t think we have time for that,’ he replied.
‘So tell me some of it,’ she suggested. ‘Maybe starting with whatever you have going on with Gabriella Felix.’
He visually emoted before he had a chance to catch himself and Steffi leapt on it.
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Exactly that.’ She sighed. ‘I mean, I know we small-talked all the way over here to kill the tension of what was gonna happen but I feel like I know her intimately now.’
‘I talked about her?’ he asked.
‘The whole journey. Insignificant details that were so significant you may as well have graffitied a heart on a condemned building.’
‘Damn,’ he replied.
‘So, tell me.’
He sighed, getting mind repeats of Gabriella from last night, her not knowing what to say to his revelation, him leaving because it was the only thing he could do. ‘It’s the first time I want to know the whole of somebody,’ he told her. ‘And the first time I want somebody to know the whole of me.’
He looked at his sister then and was taken aback by her expression.
‘Luca,’ she said. ‘I’ve never heard you say anything like that before. Ever.’
He nodded. ‘And there’s a reason for that. Because with our family how can anything work out?’
Steffi shook her head. ‘But it’s easy to say that. It makes a great excuse for avoiding things.’
‘Is that what you think I do?’
‘Yes,’ Steffi said. ‘Because I do it too.’
‘Really?’
‘To a lesser extent than you but yes.’ She sighed. ‘Being a Marcello is who I am but it’s not who everyone else wants to be with. I just don’t ever deny it and yeah sometimes, most of the time, it means I lose out, but I only want a genuine connection not some kind of superficial BS.’
‘Yeah,’ he agreed. ‘Except last night I told Gabriella about the family and it didn’t go so well.’
‘What happened?’
‘Nothing,’ he admitted. ‘She heard me and she didn’t react.’
‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’
He shook his head. ‘No, because if there is one thing I’ve learned about Gabriella is that when she reacts, and I mean when she naturally reacts from the heart of her, she reacts with absolute passion.
’ He sighed. ‘She’s the kind of person who throws water bottles at people’s heads.
The kind of person who eats a burger like she needs it to breathe.
The kind of person who fights for the smaller person.
’ He sighed. ‘Last night, when I told her, it was like the loudest silence.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’ Steffi asked.
‘I don’t know,’ he breathed. ‘Maybe there’s nothing I can do.’
‘I’m not here for that,’ Steffi said. ‘And it’s impossible to do nothing. You’ve always told me that. Because doing nothing is actually making a choice and doing something.’
‘I helped make you too wise,’ he said.
‘So now I’m telling you to follow your own advice.’
‘Always easier said than done.’
‘But not impossible,’ she stated. ‘And not an ending. A chance for a beginning.’
He sighed. ‘Like you want me to have with Dad, you mean?’
Steffi shook her head. ‘No. I’m not going to push for that. I know we have a different opinion and I think that’s OK.’
‘Really?’ he asked.
‘I’m trying to be mature about it,’ she stated.
He smiled. ‘All grown up now, Steffi.’
‘Not too grown up for a hug from my big brother.’
He didn’t hesitate. He leaned across the gearstick and put his arms around her, holding tight. Closing his eyes, he remembered how this had felt when they were younger, when he had been his sister’s protector. He wasn’t that so much anymore; she was perfectly able to stand on her own two feet.
‘OK, let me go,’ Steffi ordered. ‘You can’t be late. Let’s put this stuff in the trunk and I’ll walk with you to the entrance before I go get coffee from the one and only diner.’
He nodded. ‘OK.’